Many of us carry around irrational or unfounded beliefs about how our relationships ought to be. We impart these beliefs onto our partners and just expect them to intuitively know what we are thinking and feeling. “If my partner truly loved me, they would know why I am upset right now.” Similarly, we assume that we are able to accurately gauge how our partner is thinking and feeling. “My partner is only behaving this way because he is a man, and this is just what men do.”
Marital therapists have found there are several common and particularly damaging irrational beliefs that we may carry around in our relationships which impact how we feel about and interact with our partner.
1. Disagreement is destructive
Here’s the thing about conflict—it is inevitable! In romantic relationships, we become more reliant on each other to accomplish everyday tasks. As two individuals who need to navigate the world around them and coordinate our behaviors to do so, we will inevitably irritate each other, get in the way, make mistakes, hurt each other accidentally, or have differing opinions.
It is not the absence of conflict that makes a relationship thrive. Instead, it is the ability to effectively manage conflict when it appears that sets an effective foundation for relationship stability and satisfaction. Couples who are more able to manage their conflict have longer-lasting relationships, and their relationships are of better quality compared to couples who are unable to manage their conflicts. In fact, the absence or avoidance of conflict is a sign of a dysfunctional relationship.
One caveat I will add here is that people who say they never fight with their partner may be conceptualizing conflict as an overtly negative, or emotionally taxing conversation. In reality, they likely do experience conflict, but they are emotionally neutral experiences. All couples will at some point in their time together experience moments where they disagree or have...
Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar