Don’t Label Me: A Conversation on Diversity, Humanity, and the Workplace

In the US and around the world, we've heard the call to action for social justice and equality loud and clear. Companies and individuals are doing their best to respond. But with so much emotion and complexity in the system, knowing what to say and how to move forward can be overwhelming and confusing.

I sat down Irshad Manji, author of Don’t Label Me: How to Do Diversity Without Inflaming the Culture Wars. She enlightened me with her unique point of view and candid perspective.

Labels—are they good or bad?

We began with a discussion of labels. They can be problematic, and yet they also serve a purpose. I asked Irshad why we label people and things, and how we can draw the line between what serves us and what leads to bad behavior.

As she says in her book, “A shoe’s a freaking shoe regardless of any other function it may serve.” So how, I asked, can we apply that logic to people?

Labels stop us from engaging one another and really finding out each other's backstories.

"The issue that I have with labels is that they come with baggage," Irshad said. She explained that labels allow people to assume they already know something about you that may not be true. "Labels stop us from engaging one another and really finding out each other's backstories."

"And I think the way to cut through all that clutter is to slow ourselves down and actually speak with one another. Not as if everything has to be a debate, but with sincere questions, because we're all pretty damn interesting if we only gave each other a chance to be heard," she said. "[But] labels do serve a purpose. Here's the key to remember though—people are not things. Things are static. They stay the same.  People are moving—we don't stand still. And that is why it is doubly important to recognize that, unlike things, unlike a shoe, people are far more complicated and deserve a lot more respect for that complexity.”

How can we have constructive conversations about diversity?

We know that listening to each other—really connecting—is key. But conversations around diversity have become charged and intimidating. Here are some of Irshad’s thoughts on how we can move forward.

"One of the great tragedies of how diversity is practiced these days is if you ask me a question that somehow rankles me or rubs me the wrong way, then you've just invalidated my entire existence when you were just asking an innocent question. And by the way, a question probably born out of genuine curiosity, which shows that you care about me."

Today, the focus is on embracing and...

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How an Outsider Became President of the United States

He was the presidential candidate who no one expected to win. He spoke in clichés, talked tough on immigration, and gave off-the-cuff speeches that seemed to make very little sense.

Warren G. Harding’s attempt to win the American presidential election of 1920 was deemed so unlikely to succeed that he became a subject of mockery and scorn in the nation’s newspapers.

The New York World said that he was one of the least-qualified candidates ever to run for president, labeling him a "weak and mediocre" man.

The New York World said that he was one of the least-qualified candidates ever to run for president, labeling him a "weak and mediocre" man. The New York Times’s opinion was not much better. It called the Republican presidential candidate "a very respectable Ohio politician of the second class."

Yet Warren G. Harding had an electrifying appeal—one that was underestimated by his political enemies. He liked to play the outsider—a newcomer to Washington who was prepared to speak the unspeakable—criticizing the previous administration for its handling of World War I. He also opposed Wilson’s idea of forming the League of Nations.

In doing so, he was to electrify America and sweep himself to victory in the 1920 election. 

It was an extraordinary political turn-around, for no one expected Harding to gain the Republican nomination when he pitched up at the Chicago convention in 1920.

No one, except his close friend and political manager, Harry Daugherty.

Warren G. Harding had an electrifying appeal—one that was underestimated by his political enemies.

Daugherty felt sure that none of the front-runners would carry the nomination on the first ballot—leaving Harding in with a chance. Harding had no political enemies and a clean record—he had opposed neither prohibition nor suffrage. More importantly, he was one of the best-looking politicians in the nation—a sure plus in an election when millions of women would vote for the first time.

To hear the full story, listen to the full episode of Unknown History. Click on the top right-hand player of this page or listen on iTunes, Stitcher, and Spotify.

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5 Cool Ways to Help Teens Limit Their Screen Time

Even under normal circumstances, managing our kids' screen time has long been a challenge for parents—myself included! But finding a healthy balance between living in the real world and the virtual one can seem almost impossible during a pandemic when there are so many restrictions on how our kids, especially teens, can spend their free time.

Here are five ways the teens in your life can change it up and have some screen-free fun.

1. Consider your own attachment to screens

Before we try and redirect our young adults from their beloved devices, an excellent place to start is by rethinking how we as parents use them. Our children, regardless of their ages, continually observe us. They quietly monitor our daily habits, good and bad, and without our realizing it, they begin to mimic us. We're their ultimate role models!

A recent study found that adults (yes, us moms and dads!) spend more hours than we'd probably like to admit glued to gadgets such as phones, laptops, and televisions. Here's a quote from an article by StudyFinds.org:

A poll of 2,000 British adults, commissioned by Vision Direct, found that the typical person will spend a staggering 34 years looking at phones, computers, or televisions. During the typical adult lifespan, from ages 18-81, researchers say a person will be glued to their screens for over 13 hours a day. That adds up to 4,866 hours each year and a stunning 301,733 hours throughout those 62 adult years.

Wow! These statistics floored me. If I'm spending oodles of time attached to my electronics, why wouldn't my children feel they could do the same? Screens in our home provide an effective communication channel with the outside world, but we shouldn't allow easy access to stimulating content like videos, games, and social media to compromise an active lifestyle or direct interaction with loved ones.

We shouldn't allow easy access to stimulating content like videos, games, and social media to compromise an active lifestyle or direct interaction with loved ones.

Before you start trying to shift your kids away from their screens, take inventory of your own screen time. Evaluate how often you hang out in front of the TV. Are you checking texts round the clock, including when your kids are trying to talk to you? Is your laptop propped on the kitchen island 24/7 so it pulls you away even during mealtimes? (Guilty as charged!)

If you're conscious of your screen habits, you'll be able to make adjustments and set an excellent example...

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'Each Other' Versus 'One Another'

In the movie "Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure," the slacker protagonists Bill and Ted offer this advice to the world: “Be excellent to each other,” and “Party on, dudes!” But are Bill and Ted running afoul of a rule regarding reciprocal pronouns?

'Each Other' Is a Reciprocal Pronoun

The phrase “each other” is known as a reciprocal pronoun because it shows a bidirectional action. For example, if Bill and Ted are being excellent to each other, that means Bill is being excellent to Ted, and Ted is being excellent to Bill. They’re practicing what you might call excellence reciprocity.

'One Another' Is a Reciprocal Pronoun

But Bill and Ted aren’t talking about being excellent just to Bill and Ted; they want each person in the world to be excellent to every other person. According to some grammarians, if we’re talking about more than just two people, we should use a different reciprocal pronoun: one another. In other words, Bill and Ted should more properly have said, “Be excellent to one another.”

English is unusual in having more than one reciprocal pronoun to choose from. It doesn’t set the record for the most reciprocal pronouns, because Korean has three, but most languages have just one. Chinese, Finnish, French, Classical Greek, German, Hebrew, Japanese, Russian, and American Sign Language, among others, all have just one reciprocal pronoun. Some languages, such as Spanish, Shoshone, and West Greenlandic,  don’t even have that many. They use the same pronoun as both a reflexive and a reciprocal, so that the same sentence could mean either “We see each other” or “We see ourselves.”

'Each Other' or 'One Another'?

The trouble with having a choice of reciprocal pronouns to use in English is that English speakers (and speakers of other languages, too) can’t stand to have more than one word with the same meaning. They’ll look as hard as they can for a meaning difference, and if one doesn’t exist, someone will create one.

It’s happened with “healthy” and “healthful,” with “continuous” and “continual,” and many others. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary of English Usage (MWDEU for short) the first person to state that “each other” should refer to only two people and that “one another” should refer to more than two was George N. Ussher, in 1785.

Grammarians Disagree About 'Each Other' and 'One Another...

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Journaling in the Age of Uncertainty

I started keeping a journal as soon as I could write; actually, a little bit before that, as my very first journal opens with my parents’ handwriting, taking down stories and poems (featuring lots of ponies) from my dictation. That journal, covered in a fabric patterned with bows against a background of blue, now lives in a giant plastic storage bin along with 40 others, ranging in size and shape, some with lined pages, others unlined, each one an archive from a particular sliver of my life.

Journals are an end in themselves, a way of engaging with my own mind and discovering what I think.

These days, my journal is a spiral-bound notebook with a recycled cardboard cover. I appreciate the way that the spiral allows me to tuck a pen into it for safekeeping, so I never find myself without a way to write things down. I journal nearly every day—to recount events from my own life and the world around me, to think through a problem or question I have, or to copy down quotations from books I’m reading, fragments of poems, or songs stuck in my head.

When I reach the end of a journal, as I will with this one soon, I flip back through the pages to trace the arc of my thoughts and reflect on this particular season of life. Then I affix a strip of masking tape to the front, labeling with Sharpie the dates that it spans for easy reference in the future. And into the big plastic bin it goes.

As a nonfiction writer, I am often asked “How do you write with so much detail about the past? How do you remember everything?” The truth is, I don’t remember everything. That’s where the journals come in. But it would be disingenuous to imply that I keep them only for that reason, and I honestly don’t believe they would bring me nearly as much joy and pleasure if I did. The journals are an end in themselves, a way of engaging with my own mind and discovering what I think. Writing in my journal is a ritual that brings comfort and solace, and also revelation and growth. I learn so much about myself through the page.

Journaling in the classroom

For these reasons, I have made journaling the cornerstone of my classroom teaching practice. In a few weeks, I will enter my fourteenth year of teaching English to middle and high school students, and the very first thing we’ll discuss on the very first day of class is how and why we journal in Ms. Mehra’s class—paper journals, always private to them, inside which they can write or draw whatever they want.

I will never ask my students to hand their journals in. At the end of the semester, I will ask them to type up and polish excerpts of what they’ve written down, but what they share with me will be their choice. We will journal in class every...

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We're All "Doomscrolling" These Days—How Can You Stop?

Chances are, you’ve already heard the term “doomscrolling.” Even if you haven’t, I bet you’ve found yourself a victim of its morbid seduction. Your thumb hovers over the infinite scroll of your newsfeed, the glare from your phone lighting your face with an eerie glow, and a sense of despair settles in your belly.

After all, it’s 2020—doomscrolling has become a global pastime.

We can’t seem to tear ourselves away from bad news. We read headline after headline, tweet after tweet, comment after comment, and even though it makes us depressed and sleepless, we scroll on with the morbid curiosity of people driving by a car crash. And lately, there seem to be never-ending social, political, and economic car crashes every day. It’s no surprise that this takes a toll on our mental health.

We scroll on with the morbid curiosity of people driving by a car crash. Except there seem to be never-ending social, political, and economic car crashes every day.

A hot-off-the-press study on American college students’ phone use and mental health during the COVID-19 pandemic found that as the news on coronavirus ramped up in March, so did students’ phone use and anxiety levels. In Russia, almost 24,000 people responded to a survey on news consumption about COVID-19, and the results showed that the more time people spent reading coronavirus-related news, the more anxious they were, even when their usual anxiety levels were taken into account.

Thousands of German study participants also demonstrated more depression and anxiety with increased news consumption. Even before the pandemic started, Lebanese research participants had more depression, anxiety, and insomnia when they had more problematic social media use.

Clearly, doomscrolling is not good for us. And unlike other things that are unhealthy in large quantities, like cake and coffee, doomscrolling doesn’t even feel good. So why on earth do we keep doing it?

Why do we doomscroll?

Doomscrolling gives us a sense of control

During times of uncertainty and uncontrollability, we crave any sense of control. When we scroll endlessly through bad news, it makes us feel like we’re getting more and more informed, or that we're doing better and better planning. This may be true for the first few...

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What Does ‘Doomscrolling’ Mean?

I confess that I am a doomscroller. A big doomscroller. 

If you aren’t sure what that means, the definition uploaded to Urban Dictionary in March 2020 by a user who goes by PenelopePenguin, is perfect: 

‘Doomsurfing’ or ‘Doomscrolling’?

The practice has also been called “doomsurfing,” but “doomscrolling” has won as the word people use to describe — or bemoan — the behavior. 

You can see on Google Trends that both words emerged around the same time in late March, but in late May, “doomscrolling” as a search term took off, and “doomsurfing” just continued to sputter along. 

People were using the word “doomscrolling” before March—Merriam-Webster traces it back to at least 2018, but that first definition on Urban Dictionary was written about two weeks after the NBA shut down and Tom Hanks announced he had the coronavirus, which in my mind, marks the date when people in the U.S. started to realize that COVID-19 was serious.

Doomscrolling existed before the pandemic, it just got a big boost as a result of the pandemic. Kind of like sourdough starters and Zoom calls.

‘Scrolling’

Taking a closer look at the word itself, I’ll start with the easy part. ‘Scrolling’ first referred to physical written scrolls like the kind you see in movies about treasure hunters or ancient monasteries. 

...

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How to Clean Jewelry Using Common Household Items

Baking soda

Easy DIY jewelry cleaner

Baking soda mixed with hydrogen peroxide is a great cleaner for lots of household objects, and it’s also a safe and effective cleaner when it comes to cleaning gold, silver, and costume jewelry. For best results, make a by adding drops of hydrogen peroxide to the baking soda, then rub gently on your jewelry. Rinse off and wipe dry. It gets rid of dirt, grime, and body oils, and leaves your gold and silver sparkling.

Quick and easy way to clean silver jewelry

If your silver jewelry is starting to look a little dull or needs polishing, stick it in a bowl with a few tablespoons of baking soda and a square of aluminum foil.  Let it sit for about 30 minutes, then wipe clean. The aluminum acts as a catalyst for ion exchange, a process that will make the tarnish transfer from your silver to the baking soda. This is the magic of science, folks!

Dishwashing detergent

Gem-polishing potions

Wondering how to keep your beautiful jewelry looking like the first day you wore it? Gentle dishwashing detergent and water plus a soft cloth can clean rubies, amethysts, citrines, emeralds, sapphires, and garnets. Diamonds can be washed similarly: Fill a small pot with a cup of water, plus a teaspoon of dishwasher detergent. Add your diamonds, bring the water to a boil, then turn off the heat and let the pot sit until it cools. Once it’s cool (but not before), carefully remove your jewelry and rinse.

Just make sure to wash each piece separately to avoid chipping.

See also: 12 Surprising Personal Uses for Baking Soda

Classic jewelry cleaning recipe

Here’s the recipe that we received from reader Madelyn Jessup, which her mother always used to wash her gold jewelry: Mix 1 teaspoon dishwashing liquid with ½ teaspoon ammonia and 1 cup warm water. Dip the jewelry into the solution for 10 seconds, and use an old toothbrush to brush off any marks. Your gold will look sparkling new!

... And other household items

Another easy clean for gems

The easiest way to clean emeralds, diamonds, rubies, and sapphires may be with club soda. Place your jewelry in a glass of it overnight and they will shine...

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How to Be Productive Even While Working From Home

Perhaps the biggest challenge of a work-from-home setup is that you can't be as productive as you used to be. You may have less motivation to work hard without colleagues around you. If you're used to working with other people, it can be hard to make adjustments. Even after months of having this setup, what if you still don’t feel productive enough? These tips will be helpful while you keep working from home.

Define your workspace

Establish a clear workspace. When it’s time to work, drop all of your personal tasks and focus on getting the job done. Make sure your work area isn’t your bedroom. You may feel tempted to sleep instead of focusing on your job. And also, using your bedroom for work can have a negative effect on your ability to sleep at night.

Set regular work hours

It helps to define your work hours and stick to them. Don't watch your favorite shows or engage in other distractions while you work. You should also avoid having unnecessary conversations with family members. Make sure everyone else in your household respects your working hours, too. Keeping a regular schedule will allow you to be more productive.

Change your clothes

The clothing you wear can also put you in the mood to get things done. Make the mental shift toward work by changing out of your pajamas or athleisure outfit. You can even wear your office clothes. Not only will changing your clothes shift your mindset, but you'll also be prepared for impromptu video conferences.

Close your door

If you can manage it, having a work area with a door helps. It prevents embarrassing incidents like your children walking in while you're in an important meeting. A closed-door office space also makes it easier for you to concentrate. You can head out during self-imposed breaks or when your work hours are over and keep your work and home life separate.

Keep your desk tidy and organized

Your workspace will also affect your mood. Make sure it’s tidy and well-organized. Place a trash bin beside your workspace to keep your desk clear of papers and other clutter. It’s easier to be in the mood to work when you have a clean work area.

Turn off your phone while working

Unless you use your phone to work, there’s no reason to turn it on. Text messages and other notifications can be a major distraction. You might also receive news notifications that will make you curious to know what’s going...

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A Beginner's Guide to Investing in Stocks

To new investors, the stock market can seem mysterious and intimidating. Many people hear that buying stocks is risky, but they like the potentially high investment returns. Fortunately, there are some ways to make money investing in stocks that significantly limit your risk.

Just about every investor should own some amount of stocks, even during times of market volatility.

Just about every investor should own some amount of stocks, even during times of market volatility. I'll explain how to invest in stocks when you have little experience or money. You’ll learn the pros and cons of stocks and the best ways to own them to build wealth safely.

What are stocks?

Stocks are intangible assets that give you ownership in a company. That’s why they’re also known as equities or equity investments. Owning stock entitles you to part of a company’s earnings and assets.

Let's say a company needs to fund groundbreaking research, open a division in a foreign country, or hire a crew of talented engineers. Companies issue stock to raise money from investors for these types of ventures—it’s that simple.

Publicly traded stocks are bought and sold on exchanges such as the NASDAQ or the New York Stock Exchange (NYSE). However, you can trade them only through a broker or investment firm.

When a stock increases in value, it’s called "capital appreciation." That’s a fancy way of saying that the price goes up. As I'm writing this episode, Facebook and Apple stock are selling on the NASDAQ exchange for $266.12 and $469.51 per share. Visa and Walt Disney stock are selling on the New York Stock Exchange for $202.41 and $127.92.

If you buy Visa at $202.41 per share and the price goes up to $210, you can sell it for a gain of $7.59 ($210 - $202.41). You can easily find current stock price quotes on sites like Google Finance and Yahoo Finance.

In addition to capital appreciation, some stocks also pay a portion of company profits. If so, it’s called a dividend stock and distributes dividend payments to stockholders. For instance, right now, Discover pays a dividend of $0.44 a share. If you own 1,000 shares of Discover, you'd be paid $440 in dividends over a year.

Dividend stocks pay you even when the share price goes down, so owning them is smart to hedge against potential market losses. You can find a list of dividend stocks on a site like Morningstar.

The pros and cons of...

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Popular (but Harmful!) Myths About Dogs

A couple of weeks ago I asked my Facebook fans to list their favorite dog myths. Boy, did people have a lot to say! You can’t teach hounds to come when called. A female dog needs to have a litter before she’s spayed. The taste of blood will make your dog aggressive. Golden Retrievers are always great with kids. 

Look: doggy folklore is everywhere. A lot of it is fairly harmless, but some do real damage to dogs and people alike. This week, I’ll unpack some juicy examples, harmless and otherwise.

Myth 1: Dogs are colorblind

You’ll often hear it said that dogs are colorblind. It’s not so surprising that this idea’s still around, because apparently dogs weren’t conclusively shown to have any color vision till 1989 (1). The researchers in that study tested only three dogs but got the right answer, which is that dogs have so-called dichromatic vision. They can distinguish blue from yellow but not red from green. Incidentally, they also perceive objects in motion much more clearly than they do objects at rest. That explains why that red rubber ball blatantly lying there on the Chem Lawn-green grass, absolutely shrieking “Notice me!,” is more or less invisible to your dog. Give him a minute, and he’ll find it with his nose.

Myth 2: Female pups need to have a litter before they’re spayed

Another fine item of health-related folk wisdom (cough) is that female dogs need to have a litter before they’re spayed. I couldn’t even imagine what the rationale for this might be, so I asked around.

Apparently the most common idea is that having a litter settles the female down and matures her. Basically, it helps her become a responsible dog. Well, a female’s first heat usually comes when she’s between 6 and 16 months old. Suppose she’s bred a bit later than that, she will probably be maturing socially right around the time she has a litter. But just because two things happen close in time doesn’t mean that one causes the other.

I promise, your girl dog will become a woman dog whether she has puppies or not.

And I look forward to the day when I meet a responsible dog of either sex or any age.

Myth 3: All dogs are good mothers

Also, if you’re having any soft-focus thoughts about how nice it’ll be for your human kids to witness the miracle of birth and motherhood, please remember that sometimes female dogs kill and eat newborn pups. Breeders speculate that this occurs mostly with puppies who are sick or otherwise unhealthy. Some mother dogs seem simply careless and will step on their newborns or smother...

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What's the Best Non-Dairy Milk Substitute?

For those who avoid dairy products, there are a lot of milk substitutes to choose from. You can buy non-diary alternatives made from soy, rice, almond, oat, coconut, peas, or hemp. Is there any reason to choose one over the others? For that matter, are any of these more nutritious than cow’s milk? It really depends on what you’re looking for. If you don’t eat meat, for example, you might want to choose one that’s higher in protein. If you’re watching your weight, on the other hand, you might prefer one that’s lower in calories.

Comparing non-dairy milk substitutes

I compared a dozen different types and brands of non-dairy milk to see how they stacked up nutritionally. In each case, I chose the plain, unsweetened versions, or as close to that as I could get. I did include both original and “light” (reduced fat) varieties when possible. Here are the most popular milk alternatives and the nutritional pros and cons of each. All of the non-dairy milks are vegan and lactose-free, of course.

1. Soy and pea milk are both high in protein

Soy and pea milk are the highest in protein, providing between 8 and 11 grams of protein per cup, which is comparable to cow's milk. Legumes such as soybeans and yellow peas are also a relatively complete source of protein, although not quite as complete as dairy.

RELATED: How to build muscle on a plant-based diet

Soy protein also has beneficial effects on cholesterol levels and may also help keep your bones strong. But, as I talked about in episode 21 (Pros and Cons of Soy) there are a few reasons that you don’t want to overdo it with soy. I suggest keeping it to no more than three servings a day....

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8 Exercises to Help You Become a Strong Paddler

Just a few days after this article and podcast are published, I'll be heading out on a kayak, right in the heart of Johnstone Strait and Blackfish Sound on the eastern edge of Queen Charlotte Strait. This area, which surrounds the protected Robson Bight Ecological Reserve, is the summer feeding ground of the northern resident orcas (or killer whales). Along with the orcas, we hope to be paddling among humpback whales, sea lions, seals, and porpoises. On our trek, we hope to spot bears and eagles. I've been training for this and I can’t wait!

The fun part of paddling on any body of water is having the ability to explore with power and ease. That means having the strength, stamina, and technical know-how to control your watercraft. Part of being a strong paddler involves technique and practice but the other part involves being fit and strong enough in the right areas. 

Regardless of your paddling prowess, you also need the power, strength, stability, coordination, and endurance to truly enjoy your time on the water.

Of course, it's smart to learn the proper technique from an experienced instructor so you can safely control your chosen vessel. Bad paddling technique and poor stroke form can poop you out in a hurry, no matter how fit you are. (Trust me, I nearly broke myself kayaking in Kawaii once a few years ago.) But regardless of your paddling prowess, you also need the power, strength, stability, coordination, and endurance to truly enjoy your time on the water.

If you've gone for even a quick paddle around a lake, or even just tried the rowing machine at the gym, you likely found out quickly that many of your paddling muscles aren't ready for a multi-day excursion. So if you're heading out on an adventure, like I am, it really does make sense to spend some prep time getting in ship shape. 

Paddling fitness focuses

The four main areas we want to focus on before the big day are:

1. Core strength. First, we need to build some strength in the core muscles. These core muscles—specifically the side-core or external obliques—help you with the power of your stroke. Without strong obliques, you will rely on the shoulder muscles to do all the work, which will make you fatigued and sore in a hurry.
    
2. Shoulder and arm strength. To keep the boat in motion, you also need to keep your paddling arms in motion and that requires some specific arm and shoulder strength and stamina. 
    
3. Balance. This is more important if you choose to do something less stable (like stand-up paddle boarding or SUP) but even in a kayak, balance is required to make your stroke smooth and keep your boat from capsizing.
   ...

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How to Explore Other Career Options without Losing Your Job

Unemployment, overwhelm, disengagement, and reprioritization of what matters most professionally—these are just a few issues friends and clients have raised with me in recent weeks. For all kinds of reasons, 2020 has prompted many of us to pause and reflect. We’re wondering, we’re questioning—am I on the right professional path? Am I striving for an outcome I still care about?

Feeling uninspired doesn't mean you’ve chosen the wrong career; it simply means you’re hungry for change.

If this sentiment resonates, you may want to explore alternative careers. But how do you start the exploration without putting your current career at risk?

Today’s episode is all about how to explore other professional possibilities without having to formally step off the path you’re traveling.

Do some reconnaissance

So, you commute to your office—or basement—and your first thought of the day is “Ugh! This again?”

Maybe you’re just in a slump and you need to recharge. Maybe you’re burning out and in need of a digital detox. But it's possible you’re in need of a real change. Is there something you could imagine yourself doing with more passion and pleasure?

Time to start thinking. Who do you know (or have access to) who's already doing a version of that thing you think you'd be happier doing?

Maybe you’re handling account management for an agency but you’ve always dreamed of becoming a teacher. Teaching seems noble and purposeful, and you suspect you’d love to spend your days with actual children versus colleagues who often behave like children. You'd have to go back to school to get the credentials that would land you at the head of a classroom. That's no small commitment!

The answers may reveal a deeper layer of insight to help inform your decision.

So before you make the leap, first take a step. Try talking to some teachers about their experience of what they do. Be thoughtful in who you connect with. Talking to a first-year teacher whose rose-colored glasses are still on may leave you with an overly pink-hued picture of the reality. And conversely, someone a year away from retirement may just be fried. Choose someone whose perspective feels relevant to where you are in your journey. Then, ask questions that will bring legitimate insight.

Asking “Do you like what you do?” or “What’s your favorite thing...

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Why Do We Need to Save the Bees?

The honey bee, with its fuzzy midsection and black and yellow striped bottom, tends to be the poster child for bees. But actually, there are more than 20,000 species of bees worldwide. Many crops depend on both wild bees and managed species of honey bees for their pollination. According to the Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations, almost 75 percent of global crop production (that translates to 87 of our leading food crops worldwide) depend on pollinators like bees.

Bee populations are at risk. What is happening to the bees and what will happen if they continue to disappear?

But honeybee hives have recently suffered from what’s called widespread colony collapse disorder, dropping from 5.9 million colonies as measured by the US Department of Agriculture back in 1947 to 2.44 million colonies in 2008. That’s over half the colonies gone in 60 years. There has been some regaining in numbers since this low point, but bee populations are still at risk. What is happening to the bees and what will happen if they continue to disappear?

Why are bee populations declining?

Our relationship with bees is largely mutually beneficial. Bees visit certain flowering plants for their nutrition. They get protein, vitamins, and minerals from the pollen and carbohydrates from the nectar. In turn, during their visits, they provide an important service. That pollen sticks to their fuzzy backsides and to their wings. As they move about, they transfer pollen to another part of the plant or to an entirely different plant. The result is fertilization, which allows the plant to produce seeds and ultimately reproduce. 

Of course, bees produce the honey that sweetens our tea. Along with that, they produce propolis—a sticky resin or bee glue that's used in traditional medicine. They have special glands in their stomachs that produce beeswax. They chew the beeswax into specific shapes to build their honeycombs, and we use it for candles, lip balms, hand creams, hair pomades … the list goes on.

Pesticide use is so widespread that one study found that every batch of pollen they tested had at least six detectable pesticides in it.

But a list of interconnected reasons has caused bee populations to decline....

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6 Ways to Clean Your Kid's Bedroom Once and For All

During the many long years I tried to get pregnant, we kept busy spending countless hours tackling home projects, redesigning all of our indoor and outdoor living spaces, and acquiring, well ... stuff. I can’t believe I’m going on record as admitting this, but not only did I organize my pantry closet alphabetically, I actually decorated for the seasons.

And then it happened—we adopted our first child with less than a week’s notice and suddenly my life was a total whirlwind. And after waiting six years for this miracle of parenthood to finally grace us, exactly one year later I delivered our second child. And in the blink of an eye, we had two more babies giving us a family of four kids in four short years.

I couldn't care less about seasonal home décor, I just wanted to have a clear path from the kitchen to the bathroom without tripping on all our new baby and toddler claptrap.

I thought we had a lot of stuff before we had our kids. Wow—was I ever wrong! Gone were the days of having a crisper drawer full of color-coded fruits and veggies. Now I was managing a plethora of diapers, formula, and a ton of baby paraphernalia. I couldn't care less about seasonal home décor, I just wanted to have a clear path from the kitchen to the bathroom without tripping on all our new baby and toddler claptrap.

I wouldn’t change the excitement of how our family finally came to be, but I would definitely change how many baby items we purchased during those first few years. In plain and simple terms, we went overboard, and ended up spending way too much time and money trying to manage our kids' clothing and other products.

Somehow I kept up with the dozens of loads of laundry each week and was able to weed through all their miscellaneous items at the end of the day, but once they became toddlers and pre-schoolers, trying to stay ahead of the tidy-up game seemed near impossible.

Twenty five years of parenting later, I’ve learned some smart and helpful ways to guide my eight kids in keeping their rooms as organized and clutter-free as possible. Here’s the scoop on six ways to help your children stay in control of their stuff, so they can enjoy their space and you can enjoy the serenity of a tidy home.

6 ways to help your child maintain a clutter-free bedroom

1. Regulate Trash

It sounds simple because it is—one of the quickest ways to declutter a space is to walk through the area with a trash bag in tow and start trashing the trash. Remove empty containers and boxes, plastic cups, broken toys, stained and tattered clothing and shoes, rolled up tissues, half-used juice boxes, ripped magazines, worn out backpacks...

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How to Master Your Fear of Death

Are you afraid of death? Do you think about it a lot, dreading that it will happen one day? Or do you shrug and accept death as inevitable and okay?

I remember having this very philosophical and psychological discussion with family members last year, and it was fascinating how we had such different feelings. Some said that knowing death happens to all of us eventually is a relief and that the idea of immortality is terrifying. Others were astounded by this stance, saying they regularly lose sleep over the thought that they will die one day, and would immediately take an immortality pill if it was offered.

Is this purely a philosophical difference? Does it matter how we feel towards death?

It turns out that how much we fear death can affect how we think and act in daily life. For example, a 2016 study found that fear of death could amplify our desire for revenge and political violence. Palestinian, Israeli, and South Korean participants were prompted to think about personal pain or death, and then asked about their opinions about how specific political conflicts should be resolved. Those who were reminded of death were more likely to support military action than those who only thought about pain.

A recent study found that those who feared death were more likely to have prolonged grief symptoms compared to those who had an accepting attitude toward death.

Fearing death also makes it harder for us to grieve. A recent study found that those who feared death were more likely to have prolonged grief symptoms after losing a loved one compared to those who had an accepting attitude toward death. For healthcare workers who care for dying patients, their own fear of death may get in the way of effectively communicating with patients and their families.

Why do we fear death?

This question seems too obvious. Death—what isn’t there to be afraid of? It’s the ultimate end! So how come some people fear it more than others?

There are some things that may subtly, or not so subtly, affect how much we fear death (or at least how much we’re aware of it.)

1. Older people tend to fear death less

This one may seem counter-intuitive, but this pattern has been found again and again in research studies. We may assume that the older a person is, and the closer they presumably are to death, the more they should be afraid of it. But in fact, older age is usually...

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Why Do I Really, Really Want to Say ‘Had Went’?

Interviewed on NPR’s “Fresh Air” in 2018, the actor and director Jonah Hill was talking about his childhood obsession with movies. “I had ran through so many films,” he said.

In a 2017 interview also on NPR, the director Bryan Fogel talked about Grigory Rodchenkov, a Russian doctor who masterminded the doping of athletes at the Sochi Winter Olympics. “What happened at Sochi he was incredibly upset about,” Fogel said, “because he had went from being a scientist, meaning his whole life is — yes, it’s doing the exact opposite of what he should be doing, but he was using science to beat the system.”

'Had went' isn't new

You may see what Hill and Fogel were doing, grammatically. They were using the preterite —the simple past tense—such as “ran” and “went” instead of the past participle such as “run” and “gone.” This is by no means a new thing. Writing in 1781, John Witherspoon decried what he called “vulgarisms”: “had fell," “had rose,” “had broke,” “had threw,” and “had drew.” 

Such constructions have long flourished in the American vernacular. Joseph Whitehouse, a Virginian on the Lewis and Clark expedition, wrote in his journal, “At this run, we were met with by Robert Fields, (one of the party that had went with Captain Clark).” A line of testimony in an 1870 murder trial went, “I had a laugh as to how I had went through the arrangement.” The narrator of William Faulkner’s 1931 novella “Spotted Horses” says: “Flem had done already disappeared; he had went on to see his wife.”

Often, a double substitution is made, with the participle being used instead of the preterite. “She gone home,” or, as in the lyrics of “Frankie and Johnny,” “He done her wrong.”

In the fourth edition of The American Language, published in 1936, H.L. Mencken notes, “The substitution of the preterite for the...

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‘Gantlet’ or ‘Gauntlet’?

Some people say “gauntlet” and “gantlet" have different origins and that a gauntlet is only a glove and a gantlet is only a path lined with attackers. Therefore, you throw down the gauntlet (a glove) to challenge someone and pick up the gauntlet (again, a glove) to accept a challenge, but you run the gantlet (a course or path).

‘Gantlet’ and ‘gauntlet’ are spelling variants

But Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary of English Usage dug into the etymology and found that the distinction isn’t all that clear. Although the two words are usually pronounced differently today, early on “gantlet” and “gauntlet” were simply two different ways of spelling the same word. 

The Merriam-Webster editors found no reason “gantlet” emerged as the preferred spelling in the United States in the phrase “run the gantlet,” but they note that it never happened in British English. And when I checked, I found that the Oxford English Dictionary doesn’t even include an entry for “gantlet.” "Gantlet" only appears as a spelling variant in the “gauntlet” entry.

British English never made a distinction between ‘gantlet’ and ‘gauntlet.’

The Merriam-Webster editors are emphatic, addressing the idea that the two words have separate origins by stating, “This argument is mistaken,” and that the words are “spelling variants, pure and simple.”

In fact, the editors even suggest it might be their fault that the two versions took on different meanings in American English because one of the early Merriam-Webster dictionaries made the distinction for reasons they now can’t pinpoint and that they regret.

AP Stylebook uses ‘run the gantlet’ (for now)

Unfortunately, the Associated Press Stylebook still supports using “gauntlet” to mean a glove and “gantlet” to describe the path you run down while being accosted by enemies. They want you to use the phrase “run the gantlet” instead of “run the gauntlet.” 

However, in the past, the AP editors have said they bow to common usage (for example, when they changed their recommendation from "e-mail" to "email"). I don’t expect them to uphold the “gantlet/gauntlet” distinction much longer. 

Other major style guides use ‘run the gauntlet’

Garner’s Modern English Usage reported that “run the gauntlet” was 11 times more common than “run the gantlet” and “universally accepted” when the newest edition of that book was published 2016. 

Also, I’ve...

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10 Hacks for Getting Rid of Mold

Keep mold out of your space with these easy hacks. 

Bathroom Tips

Guard Against Mold and Mildew

Have a stash of broken white candles that you’ve been wondering what to do with? It may not be the romantic image you had in mind when you bought the candles, but rubbing the wax onto your bathroom grout will help protect it from growing mold, mildew, and other stains.

Get Glistening Again

If your bathtub grout is looking more gloomy-gray than like-new bright white, mildew and mold are the likely disgusting (and dangerous) culprits. To fight these bathroom foes, try this ultra-potent cleaning trick. Pour hydrogen peroxide into a spray bottle. Dry the tub area completely, then spray with the peroxide and let it get to work. Wait a bit, then hit the grimy grout with an old toothbrush. This will take a little elbow grease and maybe a few attempts, but your tub will be back to prime form in no time!

Related: How to Keep Your Bathroom Clean Without Cleaning

Bring in the Charcoal

Hide a charcoal briquette somewhere in your bathroom to absorb foul odors. Charcoal absorbs moisture, which will also help stop mold and mildew buildup in the bathroom. Be sure to use briquettes that haven’t been soaked in lighter fluid, and enjoy your newly odor-free bathroom!

Mold Outside

A Mildew-Free Deck

If your deck is covered with mildew, try spraying the wood with straight vinegar. Leave it for an hour or so, then rinse off. The acid in the vinegar kills mold and mildew, and will help get your deck clean.

Another option is to use hydrogen peroxide: Spray on, let sit for 30 minutes, then rinse.

Gleaming Garden Furniture

Vinegar works on your patio furniture to keep it looking fresh and new. Spray it on and let it sit for a few hours before wiping down with a damp cloth. The vinegar spray will also get rid of any mold or bacteria that’s already taken up residence.

Kitchen Mold

Mold-Free Melons

To keep melons from getting moldy as they ripen, rub the exterior rind with a teaspoon of full-strength vinegar every few days.

See also: Mold and Your Health

Shake Up Your Pineapple

Did you know that the natural sugars in pineapple have a tendency to settle on the bottom of the fruit? If you don’t dig into that pineapple soon enough, you may find mold form on the bottom. For longer storage, slice off the leaves and turn the fruit upside down on the counter. Flip which side...

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Video - The 4-Step Triceps Workout

Technically speaking, a triceps muscle is any muscle with three heads (or points of origin). But generally, when we talk about the triceps, we mean the large extensor muscle along the back of our upper arms. This muscle originates just below the socket of the shoulder blade (scapula) and at two distinct areas of the bone in the upper arm (humerus).

The triceps extends downward and attaches to (or inserts into) the upper part of the forearm (ulna). The motion that we use it for the most is to extend our forearm at the elbow joint. When we contract the forearm (or bend our elbow) we are using the biceps. So, although the bicep gets most of the aesthetic attention, it is definitely important to keep both of these muscles strong.

Since the triceps have three different muscles, doing just one exercise is not going to tone the back of your arms maximally. Instead, you need to come at them from as many angles as possible, using a variety of exercises and hand positions. Which is why I propose this 4-Step Triceps Workout.

 

Here is a four-step triceps workout that you can do at home:

1. Narrow Grip Push-ups
2. Triceps Dips
3. Dumbbell Kickbacks
4. Skull Crushers

In the video, I go through the four-exercise circuit, doing five reps of each exercise. Then, once I complete five reps of all four exercises, I start from the beginning and do it all again, but this time with four reps of each exercise. If you like, you can then go through it all again with three reps each, then two, then one. And if you're really ambitious, you can do it again in the reverse (1, 2, 3, 4 5 reps).

Strengthening your triceps contributes to your overall upper body strength, which makes it an essential part of any upper body strength training routine. Keeping your triceps strong can help stabilize your shoulders and allow you to do many everyday activities and play many sports. In fact, if you did have triceps you wouldn't be able to lift yourself off the floor, close the trunk on a car, dribble a basketball, pat a dog on the head and so many other important things in life. 

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Which Generation Reads the Most?

I find it almost impossible to imagine a world without books. But have you ever wondered how reading habits and preferences differ across different age groups? Are the younger, tech-obsessed generations reading as much as older generations?

A new infographic by Best By The Numbers dove right into this topic. They compared the reading habits of the five generations: Gen Z, millennials, Gen X, baby boomers, and the silent generation.

Which generation reads the most? That mantle belongs to millennials, with 80 percent having read a book in the last 12 months. That's a higher percentage than any other generation. Millennials are also most likely to visit a library.

Despite the onslaught of new technologies like e-readers and e-reading apps, all generations prefer reading physical books to digital ones. While 65 percent of adults in the United States have read a print book over the last year, only 28 percent have read an e-book.

And here's something fun—French readers like to read sexy books. (OK, given France's reputation for romance, maybe this isn’t a huge surprise). More eye-opening is that French baby boomers are more likely to read those steamy books than their millennial counterparts. Perhaps the French know how to age well!

For more insights into the different reading habits of the five generations, have a look at the fascinating infographic below.

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Easy Guide to Cheap Business Currency Transfers

There might be many reasons why your small business isn’t thriving. One of them is the global economic crisis caused by the COVID-19 pandemic. However, for all that this recession is hitting all businesses hard, it also kicked e-commerce into high gear. Also, going global has become a necessity for businesses. After all, this gives you an opportunity to both cut costs and grow your customer pools.

But doing any kind of business internationally means you will need to send and receive money transfers from abroad. This itself is a costly endeavor. It’s costly enough that the cost of the transfer might eat up all your profit margin.

While you are developing a strategy for going global, you need to find a way to cut your currency costs. The good news is that today there are companies that allow you to reduce the cost of both the transfer and foreign currency exchange (FX or forex). But you’ll need to think carefully to pick the one that will benefit your business most in the long term.

How expensive are international money transfers?

The costs of foreign currency exchange and international money transfer fees are not the only issues you need to consider if you want to avoid being ripped off while traveling. As a business, making payments to suppliers or accepting them from customers also come with an FX price tag. And that price might be over 10 percent of the transfer volume.

Any small business trying to go global will know that the profit margin for this venture might be so small that 10 percent makes it unviable. But of course, the actual cost of international money transfers depends on many factors. The foremost is what financial institution you are using to make the transfer.

The traditional way to go is to use a bank wire transfer. That’s the safest method of international money transfers. However, it’s also one of the most expensive. For example, in the US the average outgoing international transfer fee is $45. Add to that the money lost during foreign currency exchange. Banks always use an unfavorable FX rate due to their high FX margins. Also, the fees (meaning your losses) might increase with the transfer volume.

Also, remember that some currency corridors to developing countries are far more expensive. There are still some African countries where a...

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8 Essential Rules for Surviving Financial Hardship

At some point, most people experience an unexpected crisis that shakes their financial world. It could be losing a job, receiving a huge medical bill, or having a car break down at the worst possible time. But surviving a pandemic is a situation you probably never thought you would face.

No matter what challenge you’re facing, you’re not the first.

Along with the public health toll, the COVID crisis has put millions of people out of work. For those struggling financially, here are eight critical rules to help you manage money wisely, stretch your resources, and bounce back from this unprecedented health and economic disaster.

8 rules for managing a financial hardship

Here are the details about each rule to manage a financial setback during the coronavirus crisis.

Rule #1: Accept your situation and use your resources to seek help

The key to successfully navigating a financial setback is to be realistic. If you’re in denial and don’t face money troubles head-on, you can quickly compound the damage.

Instead of focusing on the problem, getting angry, or letting stress overwhelm you, channel your emotions into finding solutions. Start talking about your challenges with people and professionals you trust, such as a money-savvy family member, financial advisor, legitimate credit counselor, or an attorney.

Instead of focusing on the problem, getting angry, or letting stress overwhelm you, channel your emotions into finding solutions.

The following financial associations have certified volunteers who can offer free help and advice:

• National Association of Personal Financial Advisors
• The Financial Planning Association
• Association for Financial Counseling & Planning Education

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How to Clean a Washing Machine

I’ll be honest, the first time I was asked how to clean a washing machine, I thought the person who asked me this strange question was crazy. Why would a washing machine need to be cleaned? After all, it’s getting a good wash each time a load is washed, right?

Well, lo and behold, some washing machines do need to be cleaned. How do you know if yours needs cleaning? It’s pretty simple, just breathe through your nose when you open the door of your washer. Does it smell like fresh flowers? If so, you’re in luck! You don't need to wash yours. Does it smell like a teenage boy’s foot? Then, I’m sorry to say, you need to clean your washer ASAP.

Today I’m going to give you the 3 steps to getting (and keeping) your washing machine fresh and clean. They’re pretty easy, and can be done on the cheap. So stop putting it off and let’s get cleaning!

Step #1: Clean the Seals

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that smell coming from your washing machine has a nasty source and it’s likely mold and mildew. Front load washers are built with lots of rubber around the door to prevent water from seeping out. The problem is that those seals create spaces for soapy water to gather, and if it can’t dry out completely, it’s the perfect breeding ground for mold.

The first step to cleaning a washing machine is to get rid of the mold. To do this, all you need are a couple rags and a spray bottle with one part bleach and 10 parts water. Open your washer door and start feeling around the big rubber seal surrounding the door. You may be able to flip it inside out, or you may just need to curl your rag-covered fingers into the pockets it creates.

I would recommend making sure that you have a rag covering your fingertips when you do this, because there’s a good chance that your fingertips are going to meet a patch of slimy mold, and you’ll be less likely to scream at the grossness if your fingers are protected.

See also: How to Use Hydrogen Peroxide and White Vinegar to Clean Your Home

Once you figure out how to get behind that seal, it’s time to clean it. First, wipe all the way around the seal with a dry rag. If any mold or mildew comes off on your rag, continue to wipe until your rag comes out clean. Then, take your spray bottle and carefully spray behind the seal. If you aren’t able to easily spray the seal, saturate your rag and wipe around the...

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Should You Switch to Fish Oil With PRMs?

Kelly writes:

My chiropractor is recommending that I switch to fish oil with 'pro-resolving mediators' or PRMs. What are PRMs? Could I buy them separately and take them with the fish oil I’m already taking rather than switching to her more expensive fish oil product, which (unlike the one I’m taking) is not third party tested for purity?

What are PRMs?

One of the things I love about this job is that I’m never done learning. And I have to confess that Kelly’s email was the first I’d ever heard of pro-resolving mediators! Let me fill you in on what I’ve learned.

Fish oil is rich in the omega-3 fatty acids EPA and DHA. Most American adults don’t get the recommended amount of these nutrients from their diet and a fish oil supplement can help to fill that gap. Fish oil is also used in higher, therapeutic doses to treat and prevent a wide variety of health conditions, including heart disease, auto-immune disorders, arthritis, and even depression.

There are a few different mechanisms of action. Omega-3s are anti-thrombolytic, meaning that they reduce the tendency of blood to form clots. They are also potent anti-inflammatories.

How omega-3s work in the body

Omega-3s are enzymatically converted in the body into various biologically active molecules, which orchestrate the body’s inflammatory and immune responses at the cellular level. There are a lot of different types of these active compounds, including prostaglandins, eicosanoids, and leukotrienes.

The three main types are protectins, resolvins, and maresins. (The fact that the three PRMs start with P, R, and M, is quite handy.)

Pro-resolving mediators (or PRMs) are a newly recognized category of these active compounds. The three main types are protectins, resolvins, and maresins. (The fact that the three PRMs start with P, R, and M, is quite handy.) In some papers, they are referred to as SPMs, which or Specialized Proresovlng Mediators, which isn’t nearly as handy as a mnemonic device, so I’ll stick with PRMs.

How do PRMs promote health and healing?

As the name implies, pro-resolving mediators act to actively resolve or turn off the body’s inflammatory responses.

Inflammation is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s part of the body’s immune response and, in the right place and the right time, it serves a very important function.

Chronic or excessive inflammation, on the other hand, can start to create problems. And that’s where the PRMs come in: their job is to switch off inflammatory activity once the immediate threat has been dealt with, which allows the inflammation to resolve and healing...

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How Does Walking Meditation Make Your Brain Better?

I've talked about how movement and exercise can have a direct effect on our mental health. My guest on today's episode is a bit of an expert in that area. 

Back in 1998, today's guest, Dr. J.P. Pawliw-Fry, co-founded the Institute for Human Health and Potential, or the IHHP, as a research-based training company to help create leaders and transform organizations. J.P. is also a New York Times bestselling author who works with Olympians, NFL teams, Navy SEALs, and also a who's who of Fortune 500s to help them thrive in the midst of change.

Recently, J.P. started The Last 8% Morning Project to found a community where he could help people deal with their most difficult decisions during the COVID-19 outbreak. Now, this community helps listeners engage with other community members to realize that they're not alone in the challenges that they face in this uncertain time. I listened to a few of J.P.'s episodes and I really identified with his outlook on movement and mental health. I'm excited to have him here today on the Get-Fit Guy podcast to share some of that info with you all.

The following is a transcription of our chat. As always, I would you to press play on the audio player above so you don't miss any of the fun!

J.P., welcome to the Get-Fit Guy podcast.

Oh, absolutely. My pleasure to be here, Brock. Thank you for having me.

I can't wait to pick your brain. But to start off, I'm sure the listeners are wondering from the intro that I just gave you—what is The Last 8%? Why have you created a whole podcast and project around only eight percent instead of the other 92 percent?

Yeah, that's a great question. The "last eight percent moment" is a moment or situation that is more difficult than the usual ones we face in the course of a day, a week, a month, or, in COVID-19's case, a lifetime. These are situations where we struggle.

It came out of the work we have done at our organization. We survey 40,000 people a month, and it came out of that research where we're pretty good at 85, 90, or even 92 percent of (most of) the situations we're faced with.

The 'last eight percent moment' is a moment or situation that is more difficult than the usual ones we face in the course of a day, a week, a month, or, in COVID-19's case, a lifetime.

Let's say, Brock, you and I are having a conversation. And let's say it's a feedback conversation. I'm pretty good at giving you feedback or having a conversation with you up to about 85, 90, 92 percent. But when I get to that last eight percent, the hard stuff, the hardest part of the conversation, you start to see where the conversation is going. You're not pleased about that. You'...

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How Can You (and Your Workplace) Embrace Intentional Integrity

Integrity. It’s a good word—strong and confident. It speaks to being honest and having strong moral principles. You know integrity is important to have. But it can be hard to define, both at the company and individual levels.

I sat down with Rob Chestnut, former Chief Ethics Officer at Airbnb and author of the new book Intentional Integrity: How Smart Companies Can Lead An Ethical Revolution, to learn more from him about his approach to integrity.

What is intentional integrity?

I began by asking Rob to explain the title of his book. What exactly is intentional integrity?

For Rob, integrity is about having values or purpose in your life or in your company—a North Star. Integrity is the way you commit to operating “even when it's hard, even when no one's watching.” Intentional integrity means being really purposeful about it.

A pretty poster with a lake in the background is not integrity. You need to bring it to life with specifics.

For a company, specificity is key. “A pretty poster with a lake in the background is not integrity. You need to bring it to life with specifics.”

Integrity looks great on a poster. But when hard business decisions need to be made, how can companies stand by those commitments?

Why is integrity essential?

People today—customers, employees, and shareholders—expect more from companies than just profit. Business practices that are unfair to labor or harm the environment are no longer acceptable. We’re seeing a shift in how companies are thinking and making decisions. We need big companies to step up and help solve problems while doing business.

Companies have to be thinking not just about near-term results, but about their employees and the communities around them. Rob says:

…When companies start thinking about broader stakeholders and…making integrity part of business, the data shows that they actually perform better, that it resonates with customers and employees so much that companies [operating] with integrity actually end up outperforming the market…

It’s encouraging to see businesses thinking about the whole ecosystem in which they’re operating. Rob says the Internet plays a big role. It gives employees a voice to speak out about what they don't like inside of a company. And they often find that the world is listening. The same is true with customers. If a customer had a bad experience in the past, people might not hear about it, but today the whole world hears about it.

Who owns integrity?

Rob was the Chief Ethics Officer at Airbnb. But most companies don’...

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How Memory Works and 6 Tips to Improve It

Red, purple, green, blue. Red, purple, green, blue. Why is this important? Well, hold that thought.

Have you ever been about to leave your house in the morning rush and realized that you have no idea where you last left your car keys? Have you ever asked yourself, did I schedule that dentist appointment for today or tomorrow? What was it that I needed to get at the store, or what is my boss’s kid’s name again?

The way our memory works is a complicated process, the details of which neuroscientists are still trying to understand. Our brain’s efforts to store information can be broken down into three modes: working memory, short term memory, and long term memory, each controlled by different parts of the brain.

The way our memory works is a complicated process, the details of which neuroscientists are still trying to understand.

Short term memory works to store information for a brief amount of time, typically without any processing of that information. Much of this activity occurs in the prefrontal lobe, the section in the front of the brain that is found to be highly developed in humans compared to other intelligent species. (And, it’s the reason we have such prominent foreheads!) Research suggests that there is a capacity limit along with an expiration date for the memories held in the short term memory bank, but the details of those limits are still highly contested. The George Miller Theory from 1956 suggested that we could only remember seven units of information at a time in our short term memory (i.e. seven digits or seven names). However, it has since been shown that this number can vary a lot depending on the type of information, the person doing the memorizing, and the situation.

Working memory is also maintained only in the short term, but differs from short term memory in that it involves some kind of manipulation or organization of that information. For example, when you meet someone who tells you their name at a party, that name sits in your short term memory unless you manage to commit it to long term memory as well. If you decide to estimate how many people are at the party, those calculations will be run in your working memory.   

The making of a long term memory is thought to require an anatomical change in the brain and to be inspired by a strengthening of a certain signal via repeated messages. Our neurons transfer information amongst themselves by...

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Heading Off to College in 2020—Advice from an Admissions Expert

Bari Norman, Ph.D., has worked in college admissions for over 20 years. Through the company she co-founded, Expert Admissions, she's guided over 2,500 domestic and international students to top universities across America. Dr. Norman is deeply knowledgeable about the ever-shifting landscape of the college application process and committed to helping all students realize their potential. Her extensive background is particularly helpful to students who are navigating the unchartered waters of college-life during a pandemic.

I sat down with Dr. Norman to learn more about how students will begin or return to college in 2020. Click the player above or listen wherever you get your podcasts to hear the interview. Here are a few things you'll learn about.

How to plan for your student's college year during the pandemic

Sending a Freshman off to college can be overwhelming for parents, but the anxieties families face with the pandemic are even more significant. Dr. Norman will share expert insights about:

• University plans for returning students
• How to help your student prepare for this new reality
• Whether incoming freshmen should have a Plan B this year
• The advantages of virtual campus tours while on-site tours are not available
• How to navigate SAT and ACT testing

Dr. Norman weighs in on the administrative and financial considerations due to the pandemic. You'll learn:

• What has changed regarding college admissions criteria
• Whether more scholarships are available now
• Whether colleges are changing their tuition structure to accommodate distance learning

Dr. Norman shares tangible tips to help you and your child focus on all the positives as you navigate college this fall.

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Postpartum Mental Health Issues We Don't Talk About

Having a child is life-changing. Priorities shift, identities grow, bodies change—even time seems to flow differently. The challenges, joys, love, and sheer existential whiplash are difficult to describe. As a new parent, I know this wild ride all too well. My own experience, and talking to many parents, have shown me that there are many emotional layers involved in becoming a parent.

Pregnancy and childbirth can be exhilarating. It can also take a tremendous toll on the body and mind.

For women who carry a pregnancy, there are particular hormonal, physical, emotional, and social changes that come roller-coasting through around the time of giving birth. After all, a birth-giving mom is literally creating a human, delivering this delicate thing into the world, and often then nourishing this brand new person with her body.

This process, plus the excitement of everything else that's changing around mother and child, can be exhilarating. It can also take a tremendous toll on the body and mind.

A word about postpartum depression

Fortunately, there is now a lot of awareness about the common experience of postpartum depression, which globally affects about 17 percent of postpartum women who don’t have a history of depression. Postpartum depression is a serious psychological disorder. Ask your doctor about it if you experience these symptoms within a few months of giving birth:

• Persistently low mood
• Difficulty feeling excited or invested
• Difficulty enjoying your baby
• Feelings of shame or guilt that you can't shake
• Thoughts of harming yourself or the baby

There are also lots of good resources at Postpartum Support International.

Lesser-known postpartum mental health conditions

But in this episode, we're going to take a look beyond postpartum depression. We'll talk about some of the other mental health problems that can come up after giving birth. This episode is special because, in addition to our usual science-based programming, I chatted with author Phyllis Grant about her personal experience with some of the postpartum symptoms we’ll talk about.

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'Historic' Versus 'Historical'

The Democratic presidential nominee, Joe Biden, just announced that Kamala Harris is his pick for vice president, and she is the first of many things. Her father immigrated to the U.S. from Jamaica, and her mother immigrated from India, so she is both the first Black woman to be on a major presidential ticket and the first person of Indian descent. 

And here’s a piece of trivia that surprised me: According to the website FiveThiryEight, she is also the first person from west of the Rockies to ever be on the ticket for the Democratic Party—as president or vice president. Republicans, by contrast, have nominated eight people from the West, but not the Democrats.

So with all those firsts, do we call her selection “historic” or “historical”?

'Historic'

“Historic” is the word you want to use to describe an item or event that’s important or influential in history, so the right way to say it is that Kamala’s selection is historic. It’s definitely an important milestone in our history with all those firsts.

Other examples of historic things include 

• Historic documents like the Magna Carta
• Historic ruins like the Roman Forum
• Historic battlefields like the Gettysburg Battlefield
• Historic artifacts like the Rosetta Stone

All of these are important or famous things from the past.

'Historical'

“Historical,” on the other hand, is the word you can use to describe anything from the past, important or not. A “historical event” is just something that happened in the past. It doesn’t have to be an event that people are going to talk about and remember as important 50 years from now. For example, Rutherford B. Hayes choosing William Wheeler as his vice president is a historical event because it happened a long time ago in 1876, but as far as I know, it wasn’t historic. History buffs may set me straight, but as far as I know, nobody today talks about the groundbreaking achievements or glass-shattering importance of Wheeler’s vice presidency.

And just as an interesting aside, while I was looking for an especially unremarkable vice president to use as an example, I read about a lot of vice presidents and came across Charles Curtis, who was Herbert Hoover’s vice president starting in 1928. He was the first and only person enrolled in a Native American tribe to ever serve as vice president of the United States.

His mother was 1/4 Kaw Indian,...

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Use Punctuation Like a Pro to Drive Home Your Meaning

Ernest Hemingway is famous for his use of short sentences to build tension, as in this example from “A Farewell to Arms,” describing Catherine Barkley’s childbirth:

She won’t die. She’s just having a bad time. The initial labor is usually protracted. She’s only having a bad time. 

The staccato style of the sentences builds a hold-your-breath tension. 

Other writers pack everything into a single breathless exhale. One of my favorite examples is from Brian Doyle’s essay “His Last Game,” writing about a drive with his brother: 

We drove through the arboretum checking on the groves of ash and oak and willow trees, which were still where they were last time we looked, and then we checked on the wood duck boxes in the pond, which still seemed sturdy and did not feature ravenous weasels that we noticed …

That’s just the first half of the sentence.

Punctuation-wise, most of us fall between these two extremes. We are neither staccato nor breathless. Instead, we use punctuation to establish a comfortable pace for readers by grouping and emphasizing certain chunks of information. And as we edit our own work, from first to final draft, we see how small differences in punctuation come together to create larger effects.

Here are two versions of a paragraph from the opening chapter of my book "Sorry About That." The section describes the encounter between Oprah Winfrey and writer James Frey after the deceptions in Frey’s book “A Million Little Pieces” had come to light. Oprah had defended Frey at first, felt betrayed as the facts of the deception came to light, and angrily led him through his lies on her program. She later felt bad and invited him back for an on-air apology. The paragraph begins with the assertion that we share some traits with Oprah and James Frey.

We are all a bit like Oprah and James Frey: we make mistakes, misspeak, mislead, and misbehave. We can be inconsiderate, rude, and even offensive. Some of us lie and cheat and steal, and some people kill or commit historic crimes.

We are all a bit like Oprah and James Frey. We make mistakes. We misspeak, mislead, and misbehave. We can be inconsiderate, rude, and even offensive. Some of us lie and cheat and steal. And some people kill or commit historic crimes.

Do you have a preference? 

I preferred the second version. In the first, mistakes, misspeaking, misleading and misbehaving are all clumped together...

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Buying and Selling Your Vehicle Safely—How Contactless Car Deals Work

"Unprecedented times." "The new normal." "Physical distancing." Everyone is tired of talking about how COVID-19 has changed the way the world works. It’s true though—everything has changed, from buying toothpaste to dropping kids off at daycare to buying a car.

Ah, yes. The car dealership. If you need to replace your vehicle, the coronavirus pandemic has changed how you do that, too. The traditional method of shopping for a car is anything but physical-distancing-friendly.

You won't be walking around cars, and touching buttons is nearly taboo.

Today, there are no handshakes in the showroom. You won't be walking around cars, and touching buttons is nearly taboo. And forget about taking a test drive without all the touchpoints being wiped down before and after. The way Americans are used to buying cars does not translate well to our new normal during the pandemic.

However, both manufacturers and car dealers have implemented contactless methods to safely shop for cars. Volvo has always been a safety-centric carmaker, and their contactless car-buying methods are among the best in the business. Now, more than four months after the pandemic shut down the United States, almost all dealerships have followed suit and developed plans for digital retailing and contactless sales.

Wondering how it works? Here’s a walkthrough of what contactless car purchasing looks like.

The Product Demo

If you're buying a new car while the coronavirus is still going strong, it's probably because you need one, not because you just want a change. Nevertheless, your new car has to be equipped with the features you need, and it certainly doesn’t hurt if you love the way it looks. How do you do that without climbing into the car and pawing at all the handles, buttons, and switches?

Virtual

If you’re comfortable with a computer or phone screen, you can virtually explore the car. A few carmakers have walkarounds available on their website to demonstrate the vehicle, zoom in and out on features, and see what your new car could look like.

Dealers have even more tools at their disposal. Salespeople can walk you through a car’s options using FaceTime or video chat while you’re in the comfort of your home. And where carmakers can only do product demos for new cars, a salesperson can show you around and through a used car too.

In-Person

With contactless car sales, in-person product demos are still possible. You’re trying to avoid cross-contact with someone who could be sick...

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