7 Ways to Stomp Out Negative Thinking

It's a new year, and you want to have a new you. You’ve set an intention to adopt a brand new mindset. But it probably took you less than 10 minutes to realize that it's easier said than done.

You may fall victim to all-or-nothing thinking, perfectionism, or an ever-present inner critic. No matter the mental malfunction, here are 7 tips to help you rise above the unfounded negativity of your mind.

1. Identify the malfunction

You may have heard the phrase “name it to tame it.” This definitely applies to negative thinking. If you can identify and label your unhelpful thinking pattern, it’s easier to work around it. It can also be fun to give your common patterns fun names like, “hey, there’s Perfectionistic Patty showing up.” When you're aware that a problematic pattern has arisen, it can cue you to think about how this pattern may be affecting your judgment or your emotions about yourself or a situation.

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2. Be a detective

Examine all the evidence that supports or challenges your negative thought patterns. We have a tendency to accept our thoughts as facts without question. When you engage in that behavior, you’re essentially engaging in punishment without due process. Examine your thoughts and look for loopholes.

For instance, if you have the thought, “I’m always failing,” look for times when you didn’t fail. If there is one time where you succeeded, it means you're automatically wrong, which at a minimum softens the thought. Now you have to change the thought from “I’m always failing,” to “I sometimes fail” or “in this instance, the situation didn’t go the way I desired.”

None of those feel great, but the emotional impact of the word "always" is equivalent to getting sentenced to life in prison whereas the softened version is more like 3 years with time off for good behavior. If we can get in the habit of being a good detective, then we can always remain a few steps closer to being free from our negative thinking.

3. Be a scientist

Do an experiment to check the validity of your thought. For instance, if you have thoughts akin to “no one cares about me,” test it out! Like a good scientist, you need to have reasonable parameters. Don’t reach out to the guy who ghosted you 3 weeks ago, as that’s only setting you up for more rejection. Try contacting one of your friends, a parent, a work colleague, your sponsor, or your therapist. I’m confident one of these sources will have a welcoming response.

Now, I know...

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