5 Steps to Create Your Own Self-Employed Benefits Package

When you’re self-employed, you get perks that many traditional employees miss: Unlimited vacation and sick days, flex time, tax deductions, and perhaps the ability to work from any location. These are just a few upsides of being your own boss.

Whether you have a part-time side gig or run a small business full-time, enjoying the entrepreneur lifestyle may be a huge reason you want to work for yourself. But a major downside to all this freedom is not getting a cushy benefits package, which most employers offer.

In this post, you’ll learn how to create your own self-employed benefits program, which is probably easier than you think. Plus, I’ll answer several related questions from Money Girl readers and listeners about working for yourself.

5 Ways to Create Your Own Self-Employed Benefits Package

1. Buy Individual Health Insurance. 
2. Use a Health Savings Account (HSA). 
3. Get a Term Life Insurance Policy. 
4. Never Forget About Disability Insurance. 
5. Contribute to a Tax-advantaged Retirement Account.

Here’s what you need to know about these tips to creating benefits that protect your personal finances, cut taxes, and reduce the risk of being an entrepreneur.

1. Buy Individual Health Insurance

If you’ve made the leap from a corporate job to being self-employed, the first benefit you’re likely to miss is health insurance. Group plans cost much less than an individual policy; plus, your employer may have subsidized all or some of your premium.

If you have a spouse or domestic partner with group health benefits, you can become a dependent on his or her policy. But if you’re single or have a partner who’s also self-employed, start shopping.

Remember that not having qualified health insurance is illegal and comes with a tax penalty if you’re uninsured for more than two consecutive months.

If you left a group plan, you’re typically entitled to COBRA coverage. It stands for Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act, which is a law that allows you to continue employer-sponsored health plan for a limited time after you’re no longer employed. It gives you the same medical benefits and choices you had before you left your company, including health, dental, and vision insurance, for up to 18 months in most cases.

Problem is, you’re charged the full cost of COBRA health premiums, which can be much higher than what you previously paid as an employee. So, consider all your options, such as enrolling in a spouse’s plan, a parent’s plan (if you’re younger than age 26), or shopping for an individual plan.  

Remember that not having qualified health insurance is illegal and comes with a tax penalty if you’re uninsured for more than two consecutive months. However, according to recent tax reform, starting in 2019, the penalty for being uninsured, or for having a subpar health plan, won’t be enforced.

Question: An anonymous reader asks, “How do I find affordable health insurance if I decide to leave my job to do freelance work full time?”

Answer: Depending on your income and family size, you may be eligible for a subsidy that reduces the cost of coverage. If you have low income, you may qualify for free or low-cost coverage from Medicaid or the Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP). Being eligible for COBRA doesn’t affect your eligibility for any type of federal assistance.

One option to reduce the cost of health insurance is to choose a high-deductible plan. These allow you to make contributions to a health saving account (HSA), which you can spend tax-free on many different qualified medical expenses. I’ll tell you more about HSAs in a moment.

You can purchase health insurance from a variety of places, including:

• Local health insurance agents or brokers
• Health insurance carriers, such as Cigna and USAA
• Online insurance quote aggregators, such as eHealth Insurance and Get Your Insurance Quote
• Federal insurance marketplace, healthcare.gov

There’s no denying that health insurance is expensive—but it pales when compared to the potentially massive medical bills you could face after getting into an accident or being diagnosed with a major illness. So, make getting good health coverage a top priority when you’re self-employed.

2. Use a Health Savings Account (HSA)

With many types of insurance policies, a strategy to cut premiums and save money is to raise your deductible. A deductible is the amount you must pay first before your benefits kick in.

When you choose a high-deductible health plan, not only do you pay lower premiums, but you’re also allowed to contribute to a health savings account (HSA).

With health insurance, if you’re in relatively good health, a high-deductible plan can make sense. But the downside is that if you do get sick, you’ll have to pay more out-of-pocket before your payouts for covered claims begin. So, a high-deductive health plan works in your favor when you need limited medical care and aren't likely to spend the full deductible each year. 

When you choose a high-deductible health plan, not only do you pay lower premiums, but you’re also allowed to contribute to a health savings account (HSA). You can have an HSA if you get your qualified plan on the open market as an individual, or through a group plan at work.

Contributions to an HSA are deductible on your tax return, which reduces your tax liability, even if you don’t itemize deductions. Your funds can earn interest or be invested for potential growth. And when you take distributions to pay for qualified medical expenses—such as doctor co-pays, prescriptions, eyeglasses, and supplies—your contributions and earnings are completely tax-free.

You can also use HSA funds for a long list of expenses, even if you don’t have insurance for them, such as going to a dentist, ophthalmologist, chiropractor, or psychologist. But if you spend HSA money on non-qualified medical expenses, the amount will be taxed as income, plus you’re subject to a 20% tax penalty.

However, if you reach age 65 and still have money in an HSA, the penalty doesn’t apply. In other words, if you spend it on non-qualified expenses, like a trip to Hawaii, it would simply be subject to income tax. This makes an HSA an additional retirement account if you own it long enough.

No matter where you get your health insurance, you always own and manage an HSA as an individual. That means you don’t need permission from an employer or the IRS to set one up and it stays with you even if you change jobs or become unemployed.

For 2018, if you have health coverage just for yourself, you can contribute up to $3,450 to an HSA. If you have family coverage, you can contribute up to $6,900.

There’s also a “catch up” policy that allows you to contribute an extra $1,000 to either type of policy, if you’re age 55 or older. You can make contributions at any time, even up to April 15 for the previous tax year, but you’re never required to make contributions.

Question: A podcast listener named Shannon says, “I really learn a lot from you. What are the top places to open a HSA account?”

Answer: If you qualify for an HSA, it’s easy to open one up at institutions such as Lively HSA and HSA Bank.

See also: HSA Rules After Leaving a High-Deductible Health Plan

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3. Get a Term Life Insurance Policy

Many employers offer life insurance—but you typically lose it when you leave the company. The good news is that if you’re in relatively good health, finding affordable life insurance is probably easier and less expensive than you think.

So, if anyone depends on you or would be hurt financially if you weren’t around, such as children, a spouse, partner, or aging parents, you need life insurance.

First, consider if you need a life policy. You’ll never get to enjoy it because the payout goes to your beneficiaries after you die. The purpose is to give you and your loved-ones peace of mind that your financial life will be okay even after an unexpected, deadly tragedy. 

So, if anyone depends on you or would be hurt financially if you weren’t around, such as children, a spouse, partner, or aging parents, you need life insurance. There are different types, such as term life and permanent life, depending on your financial goals.

• Term life insurance provides a benefit upon the death of the policy owner for a set period, such as 10 or 20 years. I prefer term insurance because it’s inexpensive and gives you the most benefit for the dollar.
• Permanent life insurance includes a variety of products such as whole life, universal life, and variable life. I won’t get into the details on each of those, but they provide a death benefit and an investment all wrapped up in one. They’re also called permanent life policies because you get lifetime coverage.

Life insurance coverage is more affordable than most people think. For example, if you're in your 30s with relatively good health, your premium for a 20-year, $500,000 term policy would be about $200 per year. You can shop and compare term life quotes at sites like Haven Life, Liberty Mutual, and USAA. 

Even if you do get a policy through work, it’s usually only one or two times your annual salary, which is typically not enough for individuals with a spouse and children. Aim to have coverage that’s at least 10 times your annual salary using one or more policies.

Life insurance can’t make you immune to a tragedy, but it should be a pillar of your personal finances. If you want to live life more confidently, it’s critical to protect your assets and support your loves ones with life insurance coverage. 

4. Don’t Forget About Disability Insurance

Disability insurance is another coverage you typically get on an employer-provided benefits menu, but is canceled when you leave the company. It’s often overlooked by the self-employed, but is very important.

Did you know that you’re more likely to suffer a disability than you are to die before the age of 65?

Did you know that you’re more likely to suffer a disability than you are to die before the age of 65? And when a long-term disability occurs, the average absence from work is 2½ years.

Remember that health insurance only pays a portion of your medical bills; it doesn’t pay your living expenses, like housing or food, if you can’t earn money for an extended period. A disability policy pays a percentage of your gross income, such as 60% or 70%, if you can’t work due to a disability, illness, or accident.

Not being well enough to work could cause a major financial strain for you or family members who depend on your income. Social Security is only available after you’ve been out of work for a year and are completely disabled. You may be entitled to worker’s compensation insurance, if you suffer from a work-related injury.

Question: A podcast listener named Alexis says, “I’m a big fan of the show! My husband is a carpenter and we both have health insurance in California through my work. Is there additional insurance we should purchase since he works with tools and machinery, or is regular health insurance sufficient?”

Answer: I always recommend having a disability policy—but especially if your work makes you inherently prone to injuries. Several states, including California, offer a disability program for workers who pay into the system through payroll deductions.

If you’re self-employed, you can elect to pay state disability premiums, which may be less expensive than a private policy. Shop both options to find coverage that makes sense for your work and financial situation. Check out companies including MetLife, State Farm, and Mutual of Omaha. 

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5. Contribute to a Tax-advantaged Retirement Account

Another essential benefit you’ll need to handle on your own after becoming self-employed is contributing to a retirement account. There are great options to invest for the future, even when you don’t have a traditional day job with a 401k.

There are great options to invest for the future, even when you don’t have a traditional day job with a 401k.

Question: A member of Dominate Your Dollars, my private Facebook group, named Kate Haas asks, “I have multiple part-time jobs as a self-employed independent contractor. What are my best options for retirement?”

Answer: Here’s a summary of four different types of tax-advantaged retirement accounts to consider when you work for yourself.

1. Traditional IRA (Individual Retirement Arrangement). For anyone with earned income under the age of 70½. Even non-working spouses who file taxes jointly with a working spouse qualify for a spousal IRA.

Contributions are tax-deductible, which means they reduce the amount of income on which you pay tax. The only downside is that if you or a spouse also participate in a workplace retirement plan (like a 401k or 403b) some or all your contributions to a traditional IRA may not be tax deductible. Another negative is that IRAs have low annual contribution limits compared to other retirement options for the self-employed. For 2018, you can contribute up to $5,500, or $6,500 if you’re age 50 or older.

Additionally, if you take money out of a traditional IRA before age 59½, you’re subject to income tax plus an additional 10% early withdrawal penalty.

See also: 10 IRA Facts Everyone Should Know

2. Roth IRA. For anyone with earned income up to certain limits, no matter your age. 

Contributions are taxed up front, but withdrawals during retirement are completely tax free. That allows you to avoid paying tax on decades of earnings and growth in a Roth.

You get the full tax benefit even if you or a spouse participate in a retirement plan at work. Additionally, you have more flexibility to withdraw Roth IRA contributions (but not the earnings portion) before retirement without triggering tax or penalties if you’re younger than age 59½.

For 2018, you can contribute up to $5,500, or $6,500 if you’re age 50 or older. That’s the total limit for all IRAs. For example, you could contribute $2,000 to a traditional IRA and $3,500 to a Roth IRA in the same year, but not $5,500 to both types of IRAs.

3. SEP-IRA. A traditional IRA for anyone who is self-employed without or with employees, no matter if you’re set up as a sole proprietor, partnership, or a corporation. It stands for Simplified Employee Pension and is one of my favorite plans because it’s easy and inexpensive to administer.

For 2018, you can make SEP-IRA contributions for each of your employees (including yourself) up to 25% of compensation for a maximum of $55,000.

With a SEP-IRA, contributions can only come from an employer—your employees can never contribute their own money. So, as the business owner, you choose the amount to contribute each year.

For example, let’s say you have a small web design business with one employee named Jose. If you choose to have the company contribute 10% of your income to your own SEP-IRA, you’d also have to contribute 10% of Jose’s pay to his SEP-IRA.

For 2018, you can make SEP-IRA contributions for each of your employees (including yourself) up to 25% of compensation for a maximum of $55,000. You can also max out other accounts, including a traditional or Roth IRA and a retirement plan with another employer, such as a 401k or 403b.

But if you have a bad year with little profit, you can choose not to make any contributions to your SEP-IRA. Employees are always vested in their account, which means if Jose leaves your employment, he can take his retirement money with him.

Just like with a traditional IRA, if you or your employees take money out of a SEP-IRA before age 59½, you’re subject to income tax plus an additional 10% early withdrawal penalty.

See also: 401k or IRA--Which One Should You Invest in First?

4. Solo 401k. A traditional 401k or Roth 401k for anyone who is self-employed with no employees, other than a spouse. As both the employer and employee in your business, you can make both kinds of contributions to a one-participant 401k account.

This arrangement allows to you contribute more with a solo 401k than any other type of retirement account. Unlike a Roth IRA that imposes income limits, you can contribute to a Roth solo 401k no matter how much you earn.

For 2018, on the employee side of a solo 401k, you can contribute as much as 100% of your salary up to $18,500 or up to $24,500 if you’re 50 or older. Plus, as the employer, you can contribute up to 25% of compensation, if your total contributions don’t exceed $55,000, or $61,000 if you’re age 50 or older.

Be aware that if your business is a side gig, such as doing freelance writing or weekend photography, and you also participate in a 401k as an employee at another company, the total employee contribution you can make to both plans is $18,500 or $24,500 if you’re age 50 or older.

You can also have a solo 401k in addition to a traditional IRA or a Roth IRA. However, depending on your income and tax filing status some or all your contributions to a traditional IRA may not be tax deductible. 

If you need help setting up a retirement plan or aren’t sure how to use multiple retirement plans properly, be sure to contact a qualified tax accountant. Paying a professional to help you maximize tax benefits for your business and retirement accounts will pay off.

The bottom line is that you don’t need to work in a traditional job to enjoy a great benefits package. In fact, when you create your own, you can customize it any way you like.

Do your homework, shop around, and factor the costs of self-employed benefits into your business. Don’t let benefits be a stumbling block to creating your own venture and living your dream of becoming an entrepreneur.

See also: Can You Contribute to Both a 401k and an IRA in the Same Year?

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Is the Theory Behind Orangetheory Fitness Flawed?

There is a new-ish chain of gyms popping up around the world called Orangetheory Fitness, and after hearing a few of the athletes I coach rave about it, I figured I should give it a try. Happily, they offer a free trial session, so I really had nothing to lose. Except for perhaps my fitness dignity. So, I put on my fake nose and moustache and headed to the Davie street location to experience it for myself.

Orange Endurance

The first class I attended was on a Thursday at 7:30 am. The staff informed me that today's workout is called Orange Endurance and interestingly, everyone who happens to be in any Orangetheory Fitness location around the globe will be doing this same group endurance workout all day today. From Vancouver to Melbourne, Tampa to Seoul, Winchester to Lübeck, everyone is getting sweaty with the Orange Endurance workout. 

This is how the workout went. After a three minute warm-up on the rowing machine:

Dumbbell Set

This set was a combo of:

• Step-ups (with dumbbells)
• Mountain climbers
• Lateral Raises
• Weighted bicycle crunch
• And a 600m effort on the Rowing Machine between each set.

TRX Set

This was a combo of:

• Chest Press
• Bicep Curl
• Lateral Pulldown
• Squat jumps
• With a 600m row between.

After that was done (approximately 26 minutes later) we moved over to the other part of the gym where the treadmills and rowing machines are. 

Treadmill Set

The treadmill set was a descending duration of different paces. We did some easy pace (or baseline), some push pace, and a few all-out efforts, starting with 3-minute intervals and working our way down to 30 seconds intervals.

We finished the class with a 3-minute cool-down with a few more minutes of stretching at the end.

Orange Everest

My Second class was on a Tuesday at 7:30 am again (yes, I am a glutton for early morning punishment). They called this one the “Orange Everest” workout and they claim it is one of their most popular workouts.

This is how it goes. After a 3-5 minute warm-up on the treadmill:

We all started the 23 minute “Everest climb” at an incline of one percent and then we simply increased the incline by one percent every minute until we reached a challenging climb of 15 percent. During this, we were allowed to adjust our pace but we had to keep up with the incline that was being dictated and monitored by the coach.

After we spent one minute at the maximum of 15 percent incline, we started coming down the other side. When we reached the bottom we did one minute at the “push pace” and the final minute “all out.” Being someone who loves to kick at the end of a race, this is where I really shone. And when I say that I shone, I mean that I flung sweat in all directions.

Then we hustled (well, some of us hustled) over to the weight area of the gym and started the next phase of the workout which consisted of:

• Narrow Grip Dumbbell Bench Press
• Hammer Curls
• Seated overhead press to standing
• With a 250m Row between each set.

We did this four times through, with 12, 10, 8 and 6 reps.

Then we moved on to:

• Plank Dumbell Rows (on each side)
• Tricep Overhead Extension
• Supine Leg Lifts

This set we added reps instead of dropping them. We started at 6 reps, ended on 12 reps, and then collapsed. After a brief stretch and chat, we were sent on our way. Foolishly, I rode my bike to the gym, so my workout wasn’t done yet. Needless to say, it was a more leisurely ride home than usual.

What’s the Science?

Ok, enough reminiscing. Why did I decide to give Orangetheory Fitness a try now?

Well, after referencing a study done at the University of California that evaluated the effects of concurrent strength and aerobic endurance training on muscle strength and endurance, body composition, and flexibility in female college athletes, listener Erika wrote to me on Facebook and said, “I work out exclusively at Orange Theory and looooove it. Would you equate that workout to the one in the study that saw the crazy improvement in the various health metrics?”

I responded to Erika, saying “Sure... with a few caveats:"

1. The lifting must be done at a high enough weight to reach muscle failure.
2. The bursts of cardio must be short and very intense.
3. The study only lasted 11 weeks. If the study had continued longer there definitely would have been diminished returns. Those kinds of results will not go on forever.
4. The subjects in the study only did that workout 3 times per week so they allowed for adequate recovery.
5. I also added that I had not been to Orangetheory but I promised that I would give it a try and let her know what I thought.

To find out more about that particular study's outcome and how to combine (or not combine) cardio and resistance training, make sure you check out my article on whether to keep weights vs. cardio separate or combined.

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What Makes Orangetheory Unique?

As I said before, every day Orangetheory gyms around the world (from New York to Kuwait) all do the same workout. Sometimes it is the Endurance Workout (like the one I did), or a strength workout, or straight up HIIT (high-intensity interval training). I have to admit that when I asked more specifically about the workouts they had planned for the remainder of the week, they seemed pretty cloak and dagger about it, so I didn’t push it. But that did make my coachie-senses tingle. If participants don’t know what type of workout they are in for, how can they plan correctly to achieve a specific fitness goal beyond “get in shape?” More on that later.

According to their website, “Orangetheory is a 1 hour, full body workout, focused on training Endurance, Strength and/or Power. We use Heart Rate Based Interval Training, which burns more calories post-workout than a traditional exercise. When wearing our Heart Rate monitors, your real-time results are displayed on large screens throughout the studio.”

They go on to talk about how intensity is based on your individual Heart Rate zones (which they calculate for you based on the extremely rough equation of 220 minus your age), which they claim makes the workout effective for all levels of fitness. This is something I only partially buy at this point, but having had my butt handed to me today, I can’t really complain.

The gym space itself is definitely one of the most high-tech exercise spaces I’ve ever been in! There is a TV screen above the treadmills that displays your name, heart rate, percentage of your max heart rate, calories burned, and “splat points” which we’ll talk about next. There are also TVs in the weight room that display the exercises and reps so you can reference them during your workout if you forget what the instructor demonstrated.

The “splat points” are awarded to you when you are in the Orange and Red heart rate zones and are particularly sought after by Orangetheory goers not only because we all love to gamify our workouts (and have a way to quantify our hard work) but also because of a thing called “afterburn.” The OTF folks refer to those zones as the afterburn zones based on the notion that when your heart rate is up to or over 85 percent of your maximum, you continue to burn calories for 24 to 36 hours after the class is over.

Afterburn or EPOC

Getting in the "orange zone" produces what exercise physiologists call the “EPOC” effect (excess post-exercise oxygen consumption) AKA the afterburn.

Getting "splat points" for being in the orange zone produces what exercise physiologists call the “EPOC” effect (excess post-exercise oxygen consumption), AKA the afterburn.

The suggested biological reason for EPOC is “to restore the body to its resting state and allow for physiological adaptations” which will help the body handle the exercise (or stress) more easily in the future.

EPOC is at its most powerful immediately after the exercise session but some studies have found that EPOC can last up to 24 hours. (I didn’t find any that indicated 36 hours like OTF claimed.) It should also be noted that other studies have found that it lasts much shorter than 24 hours. In fact, some found that EPOC lasts less than an hour in some cases. There are many reasons for this discrepancy (gender, genetics, body composition, fitness level, etc.) but the important part is that the jury is still out on how much benefit you actually get from EPOC, or the afterburn.

Other research suggests that not only the duration but the actual calorie-burning effect of EPOC is much smaller than advertised and probably makes only a minor dent in weight loss compared to the energy cost of the actual exercise itself. Unless the exercise is undertaken regularly which is when the EPOC would have a cumulative effect.

In one study they found that the amount of extra energy burned during EPOC is only about 6-15% as much as is used during the exercise itself. So, 20 rounds of 1-minute running intervals performed at 105% of VO2max (which is an effort that we refer to as very, very uncomfortable), separated by 2 minutes of rest, burned an average of 537 calories during exercise, but only an extra 64 calories in the 9 hours after the session. Insert sad trombone sound.

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The Downsides of Orangetheory

Now back to why my coachie-sense was tingling when I found out that the workouts are kept secret (unless you discover the Subreddit group that is devoted to sharing the workouts as they happen across the timezones). I generally coach people for specific events like 10k Road Races, Marathons, Triathlons, or Fitness Model Competitions. All of these require that we do at least 90% sport specific, periodized, and specifically targeted workouts.

For example, I am currently training myself for a triathlon. Had I known that we were doing the Orange Everest workout on Tuesday, I would not have crushed a bike-swim-bike workout the day before. And I would have planned a recovery day for Wednesday. As it was, I am a little more worn out than I wanted to be at this point in the week. and my inner coach is not happy with my inner athlete.

I should add that when I brought this clandestine point up with the fine fellow working at the front counter of my local Orangetheory, he did assure me that if I was to call them the day before and explain my dilemma, they would indeed reveal what the workout was going to be the next day. Call me lazy but that seems a little cumbersome. Based on that, I will dissuade my clients from using Orangetheory on a regular basis especially at key moments during our training blocks.

The other issue I had with the theory behind Orangetheory was this idea of using heart rate as a measure of your success at the workout. As I pointed out earlier, the equation of 220 minus your age does give a rough estimate of your maximum heart rate from which you can calculate your Heart Rate Zones, but this only goes so far for us fit folks. Many of us have resting heart rates that are considerably lower than the general public. According to the Mayo Clinic, a normal heart rate is 60-100 beats per minute. But mine can get down into the forties when I am sitting comfortably reading a book and this has an effect on my maximum heart rate.

If you are working toward a very specific fitness goal, there are some monkey wrenches in the Orangethery experience.

I have also been a runner long enough that I knew instinctively to shorten my stride and increase my cadence when we set our treadmills above a 10 percent incline during the Orange Everest workout. This technique results in more efficient hill climbing and thus a lower heart rate. So I was awarded a measly 12 “splat points” after what I considered to be a killer workout. Not because I wasn’t pushing myself but because I am efficient and a life-long mover.

Again, I should add that the fine fellow at the front desk did assure me that if I came to them with the results of Lactate Threshold or VO2 Max test, they would adjust my zones to match what the tests indicated. That is cool and gracious of them but similar to having to call them the day before a workout to see how I should plan around it, I think I would rather just workout on my own. 

The Bottom Line on Orangetheory

In the end, anyone who is interested in a killer, fun, full-body workout, in a high-tech setting, that does a good job at gamifying the gym experience, this would be a great fit for you. I actually walked away describing Orangetheory as Crossfit, minus the "Bro." For someone like Erika, who sparked this entire adventure, that is likely perfect and will help her reach her general fitness and fat loss goals. Especially when I consider how hard it is to get anyone to say, and I quote, "I looooove" a workout.

On the other hand, if you are working toward a very specific fitness goal, race, or event, there are just enough monkey wrenches in the Orangethery experience to make Orangetheory not worth the (not small) cost per workout. So for now, I will see you in the pool, bike path, running track, and gym.

For more gym trend info, the latest workout tips, and to join the theoretical conversation, head over to Facebook.com/GetFitGuy or twitter.com/getfitguy. Also don't forget to subscribe to the Get-Fit Guy podcast on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, SoundCloud, Spotify, Google Play or via RSS.

How to Resist Social Media and Reconnect with IRL Friends

Loving social media and being addicted to social media are not the same thing at all. It's time to write a break up letter.

"Dear Glorious social media,

It was good, but now, it’s over. You are my #1 time drain. You pull me away from high-quality, in-person friendships with the glowing promise of pixelated friends consumed at my leisure, where awkwardness vanishes at the click of an Unfollow button. You keep me stressed and riled up about topics that are hot and emotional, while hiding topics that are more boring, but are much more important. You’ve reduced my attention span to 30 seconds and I can’t even read two consecutive paragraphs any more. And let’s be honest, you give me propaganda, falsehoods, and sensationalism. If I went back to spending my free time reading on my own, or taking a class, I’d be much smarter. 

It’s easy to write this letter, but I can’t quite follow through. Social media, I wish I knew how to quit you."

There’s a lot wrong with social media. But for many of us, it feels great. Feels great doesn’t mean it is great. Sugar feels great. Heroin, from what I’ve been told, feels great. Refined carbs? Great! That’s the thing about addiction—it makes your brain feel great, even when it’s actually bad for you.

Social Media Doesn’t Bring You Closer

Bernice, the owner of Green Growing Things plant stores, says her social media interactions with friends brought them closer and closer. So we took the social media challenge: go to your favorite social media platform and read one of the conversations out loud. What felt like a 10-minute conversation was actually about 30 seconds of actual spoken communication, minus any of the body language or voice tone. 

Bernice was horrified. “It felt so, so… real!” she cried. Yes, Bernice, it did. Those manipulative, helpful folks in Silicon Valley make us think we’re having high-quality interaction when we aren’t. It gives us all the feelz, but with little actual substance. And it gives them a physically addicted customer base with altered brain chemistry.

But it doesn’t have to be that way! Yes, social media is designed to turn your brain into mush and make you into an obedient zombie. (And let’s be clear: if you’re going to be a zombie, my zombie army feasts on Oreo ice cream cake, and Mark Zuckerberg’s zombie army feasts on advertising and Russian propaganda, so mine’s way better.) But you can thwart the evil designs of Silicon Valley and use social media to deepen your in-person relationships.

Use a Social Media To-Do List

In the episode on how to divorce your computer, we created a “computer to-do list.” Instead of being your computer’s slave, you collect your computer tasks on a special to-do list and only do them when you’re at your computer.

To stymie social media’s evil plans, grab a piece of paper and title it not “Social Media To-Do List,” but “Social Life To-Do List.” We’re going to use this list to protect our precious Purity of Essence from the gaping maws of the psychopathic social media companies. (If you work for one of those companies, it’s not too late! Come back to us! We have Oreo ice cream cake.) Social media triggers are designed to get you to “engage.” You will. Only now, you’ll engage with your Social Life To-Do List instead.

Let Likes Trigger To-Dos

When you see something on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or anywhere that you want to “Like,” don’t. Instead, jot the person and a reminder about the topic on your Social Life To-Do List. “Xris, status about the importance of marshmallow peeps at Easter in a liberal Catholic congregation.” “Europa, gorgeous photograph of an entire battalion of her minions dressed in cheerful pastel colors.” And so on. 

Do not however write comments or click Like buttons. Just make a list. 

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Add Good Picture Feelz to Your List

One of the most manipulative things social media companies do is show you little pictures of your friends and their name. It makes you feel like your friend is there. Your friend is not there. You are staring at a screen being mediated by a cold, heartless algorithm trying to manipulate you for political or economic advantage. 

Look at that little picture and repeat after me, “That little picture is not my friend. That little picture is not my friend. It is an evil high tech algorithm created by psychopathic nerds to enslave my mind and enrich themselves. That little picture is not my friend.”

On your Social Life To-Do List, write your friend’s name. While you’re at it, rate them with a few little hearts next to their name. The more you love them, the more hearts.

Add Other Notifications to Your List

If Facebook tells you it’s someone’s birthday, write that down on your list. If a news story pops up that mentions a friend, write it down. If LinkedIn tells you it’s someone’s work anniversary, it goes on your list, too. 

(This is LinkedIn’s attempt at brain manipulation, and by golly, it works. Which proves that this stuff bypasses your conscious control because before LinkedIn started that nonsense, who ever celebrated a work anniversary? Ever? Does Reid Hoffman, founder of LinkedIn, celebrate his work anniversary? NO! He celebrates the day he cashed out for billions of dollars and never has to touch LinkedIn or anything resembling work ever again. He’s sipping champagne on his yacht, laughing at all of us while we make him even richer by being addicted to his invention.)

Turn Your List into Reality

Once you’ve added several items to your list, turn off your computer. Toss it in the bathtub, and while you enjoy watching it shoot sparks and make sizzling sounds, Get. Out. Your. Phone.

Now go through your list and notice which people and topics are really important to you. Cross out everything else. Those people who only have one heart by their name? GONE! This is called “picking and choosing” instead of being a mindless robot. And it’s heartless. (See what I did there?)

Social media is designed to turn your brain into mush and make you into an obedient zombie

Call everyone who’s left. Connect with them. By voice. Chat about the post, picture, Like, birthday, or anniversary. Social media has given you the perfect opening for the conversation. “Hey, Bernice! I see you’ve been at Green Growing Things for a decade. How’s that working out? Are you and your fiancé Melvin ever going to get married?”

“Europa, those minion uniforms are delicious! And you say they have built in electric cattle prods to help minions stay motivated? Can you get me one that fits a 15-year-old teenager?”

“Reid! My old college buddy. So great to hear your voice. You know, I’ve never tasted champagne… want to get together?”

Sometimes You Want to Work Hard

Is this more work than reflexively clicking your finger on a Like button? Of course. That’s why it’s worth it, and that’s why it works. They want you to be a compliant, addicted, stimulus-response machine. Instead, you’ll be a real, thinking person. You’ll consider who is and isn’t worth having in your life. And then you’ll reach out and have real conversations, with people who are really important to you, about topics that are worth discussing. You’ll take control of shaping your life, instead of being shaped by the addictive forces of social media into nothing more but a mindless marshmallow peep.

This is one time when you’ll work hard, do less, and get what you really want. 

For links to research and articles on social media addiction, learn more here. 

I’m Stever Robbins. Follow GetItDoneGuy on Twitter and Facebook and at least if we're going to be addicted to social media, we can be addicted together. Want great keynote speeches on productivity, Living an Extraordinary Life, or entrepreneurship? Hire me! Find me at http://SteverRobbins.com. 

If you enjoy this podcast, please leave an honest review on iTunes at itunes.com/getitdoneguy. Reviews help a lot! 

Image of man and smartphone © Shutterstock

How Close is Too Close to Live by the Highway?

In Southern California, an estimated 1.2 million people live within 500 feet of the freeway even though the California Environmental Protection Agency and the California Air Resources Board recommend against it. As urban populations rise around the globe, more and more people are living in zones with high levels of air pollution close to major roadways. Many of those people have fewer economic options making freeway pollution a matter of environmental justice.

The health risks of living, working, or otherwise spending large fractions of time near freeways, are a topic of current scientific study but are already known to be numerous. For example, children living close to freeways have higher rates of uncontrolled asthma and other respiratory problems. A decade-long study of adults living in Ontario, Canada, revealed an increased risk of dementia for residents closest to the freeway. The same study found no link to higher rates for the less common Parkinson’s or multiple sclerosis, although experts note this could be due to the lower numbers overall for these conditions and that further study is needed.

Residential proximity to the freeway has also been linked to cardiac issues. The build up of carcinogens in the bloodstream can elevate cholesterol levels in the short term and possibly lead to heart attack or stroke in the long term. Lower bone density in adults and lower birth weights may also be linked to freeway proximity.

How Can You Protect Yourself from Highway Pollutants?

If logistically and financially possible, live, work, and go to school outside of the 1000-foot zone within the freeway where traffic pollution is typically highest. However, not all freeways are equal offenders. Areas near freeways frequented by diesel trucks are exposed to the worst kinds of carcinogens that are linked to the bulk of associated cancer risks. Warehouse distribution centers and ports should also be avoided for similar reasons.

Interchanges and areas where braking is more frequent are also worse than average because they combine pollutants derived from exhaust with other pollution sources like the toxic metals found in the dust from brake pads and tires. These so-called non-exhaust pollutants are the main reason a shift toward electric cars will still not entirely solve our air quality problems.

When calculating distance from a freeway, elevation may also matter. Although common sense may suggest that a freeway that is far below or above where people spend most of their time may help to improve air quality, there is so far little evidence that such a height difference helps. In particular, corridors of tall buildings can be very effective at trapping polluting particles near people’s lungs. For this reason, the San Francisco Health Code still requires ventilation for all units in a multi-story building and not just those at street level. For regions closest to freeways, pollution may be lower when the landscape includes buildings of different heights as well as parks and other open spaces where pollutants have escape routes.  

If you live in southern California, you can find out how far your home, school, or office is from the freeway using a mapping tool provided by the LA Times. And take a look at their pollution map.

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Keep in mind, however, that wind patterns, temperature fluctuations, and traffic patterns all influence how far pollution can reach even beyond the highest pollution zones. You may think that pollution risks are lessened at night when there are fewer cars on the road, but in fact the opposite is true. The cooler night air is also typically more stagnant which ends up trapping pollution near the ground. One study, co-led by Suzanne Paulson, UCLA professor and Director of the Center for Clean Air, found freeway pollutants traveling as far as 4,920 feet downwind in a southern direction at night but only 650 feet in the daytime downwind (at that time northward) of CA State Route 91.

Pollutants tend to thus extend their reach the furthest during early morning hours reaching distances of sometimes more than a mile from the freeway. Thus, higher levels of air pollution are observed in the winter when later sun rises mean the early morning hours overlap more with rush hour traffic. To protect yourself, avoid going for long runs or doing other outdoor exercise in the early morning hours within a few miles of the freeway and don’t keep your windows open at night.

What if You Currently Live by a Highway?

So what if you can’t avoid spending time near the freeway? If you have access to central air, install high efficiency air filters rated 13 or higher on the MERV scale (short for Minimum Efficiency Reporting Value) which quantifies how good the filters are at blocking out small pollution particles. Be sure to replace those filters every few months or as recommended by the manufacturer. If you don’t have central air, you can still purchase air-cleaning devices, but they need to be running all the time and usually only work for the one room that they are in.

Vegetation can reduce pollutants and carbon monoxide by as much as 60%.

Air filters also only work on certain pollutants. The US EPA provides a guide to different types of filters and their efficacy at blocking different forms of pollutants. Air filters are also only efficient when no other outside air can get inside. This means all windows and doors need to be closed and there can be no drafty doors or windows as are common in older homes. In the case of central air, the air must also be turned on and running.

Another way to lower the level of pollutants that reach your living space and thus your lungs is to live behind a sound wall, with thick trees or plants that extend above it. Vegetation along roadways can reduce pollutants in the form of ultrafine particles (UFPs) and carbon monoxide by as much as 60%.

Even if we live and work far from a highway, many of us still accumulate most of our exposure to traffic pollutants while commuting. If possible, spend less time in the car or opt for public transit methods that take you away from freeways. Otherwise, roll up your windows and recirculate the air in your car which can lower pollution levels inside your car as much as 80%.

Until next time, this is Sabrina Stierwalt with Everyday Einstein’s Quick and Dirty Tips for helping you make sense of science. You can become a fan of Everyday Einstein on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, where I’m @QDTeinstein. If you have a question that you’d like to see on a future episode, send me an email at everydayeinstein@quickanddirtytips.com.

Image © Shutterstock.

6 Ways to Manage Dating and Motherhood

I was married for 25 years when my husband and I divorced. Never did I think my “happily ever after” would take a turn down the road of divorce, but eight kids later I found myself in my late forties and newly single. Quite honestly, the first couple of years after my divorce are a bit of a blur, but despite my personal heartache, I had eight kids that were adjusting to our new family life and were depending on me now more than ever.

The newness of divorce can be quite surreal. There were many days when just going through the motions was a real accomplishment. I focused on three things—my kids and their continued well-being, managing my full and part-time jobs, and learning the ins and outs of creating an amicable relationship with my ex-husband for the sake of our kids and my own inner peace.

Nearly six years later, my new life is now my norm. We have created a positive post-divorce environment for our kids (now ages 12 through 25) and believe it or not, we actually have fun and enjoy our family. I’ve settled in to a very hectic career as both a full-time development assistant and freelance writer, have sent more kids off to college, am now a mother-in-law, am crazy in love with our eight-month old Golden Retriever named Dixie...oh, and I've started dating again!

Dating was the furthest thing from my mind after I got divorced. I mean the thoughts of starting all over again was both frightening and hilarious. Imagine a date arriving at my home and being greeted by my eight kids! Let’s just say my life was already quite busy and very fulfilling, so finding a new love interest just wasn’t a priority. But recently, that all changed when I met a nice guy in the produce department (you can’t make this stuff up) and he gave me his phone number. I won’t bore you with the details of this particular situation. However, the experience was actually quite pleasant (I could tell he was a gentleman by the way he selected fresh eggplant) and it launched me into the dating scene once again.

Dating while juggling motherhood can be a tricky balance. Here are 6 tips to keep in mind when you jump back in the dating saddle while still raising your family.

6 Tips to Dating While Raising a Family

1. Knowing When You’re Ready
2. Where To Begin Looking
3. Sharing Your Dating News With Your Kids
4. Pace Yourself
5. Introductions to Your Kids
6. Be Your Own Best Friend

Now we’ll check these tips out in more detail.

Tip #1: Knowing When You’re Ready

As I mentioned previously, dating after I divorced was the absolute furthest thing from my mind. I had enough to juggle caring for my family and working two full-time jobs to even be remotely interested in looking at a dating site to try and find a second Mr. Right. At that time, the perfect companion for me was our family’s middle-aged black lab and a great novel that I could escape into alone.

In addition, I also knew something else—I wanted to spend some time doing a bit of inside work on myself. Being married for 25 years and caring for a large family didn’t leave me much time to blink never mind sit and contemplate where my strengths and weaknesses were in the relationship department, so I decided that I would give myself a nice, long honeymoon period to figure out the positives and negatives that I carried as a woman, mother, writer, and of course an ex-wife and hopeful future partner to someone I could really grow old with.

My therapist at that time reminded me that I was now moving from being a “we” to a “me.” I loved that advice and took it to heart for several years after my divorce. We all have different needs and timetables, so knowing when you’re ready to get back in the saddle again will not be the same for you as it was for me, but I truly cherished the time I had alone, learning to know and love myself all over again. This time period also strengthened my relationship with all of my kids and (believe it or not) with my ex-husband. Living strong and confident is indeed a very attractive quality to sport.

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Tip #2: Where to Begin Looking

Although I waited a few years to seriously pursue looking for a love interest again, I must admit: I am a die-hard romantic! I am one of those people who loves everything and anything to do with falling in love! Although my marriage ended in divorce, I will always have a place in my heart for my ex-husband, and to be honest, that feels really good. I’m happy that I spent my post-divorce alone time enjoying romantic novels and plays, soaking up other people’s love stories, and even daydreaming about my future charming love interest. It sure beats being bitter and angry!

I really had no plans of when to start dating until a situation was handed to me on a silver platter, or should I say in a bin of organic eggplants! Nearly two years ago, my 12-year-old son and I were grocery shopping on a cold, gray day in early spring. I was wearing jeans, had my hair pulled up with very little makeup on, and looked a bit disheveled. Out of nowhere, a gentleman approached me and asked me if I had ever made eggplant from scratch. The conversation went on from there for a good 20-plus minutes. Next thing I know, he asked me if he could leave his work phone number with me in case I’d like to get together and have a nice Italian dinner! Enter my 12-year-old son who was casually observing all this next to the bananas. My son came over and I introduced him to my new friend. They shook hands and my son said, “I hope you like children because my mom has eight of them!” Without missing a beat, Mr. Eggplant said, “I sure do, I’m a college professor and child psychologist!”

This exchange was exactly what I needed to get back into the dating game again. It was unexpected yet comfortable and playful—right up my alley. We dated for several months, but he relocated to a University in England so it was short-lived. After getting my feet wet with the Professor, however, I knew I was ready to give love a try again.

Most women my age are using online dating sites, but that wasn’t for me. Others try coffee shops, wine bars, blind dates, their kid’s sporting events, church outings, or even dog parks. If you have a gal pal that’s going through a similar situation, you can lean on each other, but when you’re squeezing all this in between your career and caring for your kids, find an avenue that you’re comfortable with rather than obsessed with.

Tip #3: Sharing Your Dating News With Your Kids

When I was ready to start dating again, my oldest was 22 and my youngest was about ten. I had teens that were dating at the same time as I was! I didn’t have to say much because my son came home and announced I had met someone who seemed to like fresh vegetables and had given me his phone number. My youngest daughter giggled and my older kids thought it impressive I had scored a possible date while running around in old jeans and a ponytail. I did take that opportunity, however, to let them know I felt ready to be on the dating scene again, and asked them how they felt about it. Much to my delight, they were supportive and talkative about the topic. Chatter of perhaps meeting someone with a private plane or who had season tickets to The Red Sox were part of the banter, but it opened the gate for me to feel comfortable going out with someone other than their father.

Tip #4: Pace Yourself

Once you believe you’ve met your perfect match, you really have to find the balance between your kids, work, and love. It’s so exciting to be falling in love again! Your stomach has those quivering butterflies and the rest of the world can totally come to a screeching halt. However—meals still need to be made, boo boos still need to be kissed, and bills still need to be paid. In short, the rest of your life still needs to happen.

Even though you may be falling fast and hard, stay true to yourself! Of course it’s natural to get swept away when someone new enters the picture and pays you lots of attention and is enamored with your every move, but don’t forget how much your kids adore and need you as well. My kids had me to themselves for several years after my divorce, so when I did find true love again, I knew I had to consider their feelings as well as my own. My motto? "Slow and steady wins the race." (More on that in my last tip.)

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Tip #5:  Introductions to Your Kids

If you’re new to the dating world like I was, not only do you worry about what your new date will think about the way you slurp your soup or how your maternal body looks in a pair of white jeans, you also have something else in the mix—how and when to tell your kids that you have met someone you really care about.

There’s a lot of advice out there on this very important topic, and from experience, I’d like to agree with Dr. Jenn Mann, author of The Relationship Fix, who recommends waiting it out. In an article about dating as a single mom, she emphatically states, “Don’t involve children in your dating life until you’re relatively sure the person is a long-term keeper,” says Dr. Jenn. “I suggest single moms wait six to 12 months—that’s typically how long the ‘honeymoon phase’ lasts.”

Without throwing my ex-husband under the bus, he began dating minutes after our divorce. I’m over it now, but feel the need to share some tidbits that were a big learning factor for me and my kids. None of us had any clue he had a new love in his life, so when he invited our kids to a dinner to tell them something that would make them all very excited...let’s just say they thought they had a trip to Disney or something in that range to look forward to. Imagine their surprise when they arrived and his new girlfriend walked in. They were so unprepared and totally flabbergasted! My ten-year-old son hid in the restaurant bathroom for 30 minutes (the rest of the customers were none too pleased!) because he was so taken aback. That introduction was quite unsettling to my kids, and they let their father know it. Just because he was excited about this new relationship did not mean our kids would be.

My kids were wanting the best for me, as I have always wanted for them.

Experts say that it’s important to consider the age and personality of your children. "As kids get older, you may choose to share more casual details about your new boyfriend," says Esther Boykin, a licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship coach. "But for younger kids it's often best to start by introducing the idea that you have a new friend who you like to spend time with." When you're finally ready for the first meeting, start with a casual group activity your kids enjoy, like a picnic at a park with friends who have kids.

I learned from my ex-husband’s mistake, albeit a few years later. When parents divorce, kids unfortunately get divorced from that stable family unit they thought they’d always have. Keeping my kids in a secure state of mind was always my first intention.

Now, the moment you may have been waiting for. I finally did meet that special someone. 18 months ago to be exact! It was a very innocent moment at work. A wonderful guy I dated over 25 years ago when I was working in a dental practice re-entered my life, and I am currently in the midst of raising eight terrific kids while I fall in love all over again.

I took Dr. Jenn’s advice and didn’t introduce my new love to my family until six months later. They knew I had met someone that made my heart sing, but I downplayed it until I was quite sure there was a possibility we had something special going forward.

Before my kids met my new beau, I talked about it with them. They saw how excited I was getting ready to go out on a dinner date with him. They noticed that I paid a bit (OK, a lot) more attention to how I chose an outfit to wear when I went out. They caught me looking in the mirror when I talked about this terrific new person in my life. They blew my mind—they encouraged me, cheered me on, and told me to “go for it” just as I have coached them when they have a pivotal moment in their own lives. I was living an “aha” moment in parenting. My kids were wanting the best for me, as I have always wanted for them.

Tip #6: Be Your Own Best Friend

I’ve been dating my new soulmate for 18 months now and truly have never been happier. I’ve survived the awkward firsts: burping out loud (ugh!), eating food that dangles between my front teeth, revealing my mother-of-eight figure in a bathing suit, walking out of the ladies’ room with toilet paper stuck to my shoe (could be worse, right?), and even introducing him to my ex-husband. But my kids and my family love that I’m so happy and have welcomed him into our lives unconditionally.

While that’s all a huge comfort to me, something else resonates even more—staying in touch with myself.

I yearned to learn how to care for myself, first and foremost, after my divorce. And to be able to balance the lives of my eight kids, my career, and a new love interest was the cherry on top of the sundae. When you invest the time to make things right in your own world, you create a win/win situation for your entire family!

How did you manage the dating scene with your kids? Share your thoughts in the comments section at quickanddirtytips.com/mighty-mommy, post your ideas on the Mighty Mommy Facebook page. or email me at mommy@quickanddirtytips.com. Visit my family-friendly boards at Pinterest.com/MightyMommyQDT

Image of first date © Shutterstock

How We're Doing Introversion Wrong with Sophia Dembling

The introvert revolution has been empowering and validating to millions of quiet souls. We feel comfortable expressing our need to recharge. We respect our own preference for fewer but deeper connections. But sometimes, introverts miss the mark. We learn the hard way that if we repeatedly turn down invitations, people stop asking. We find ourselves isolated rather than in blissful solitude. Therefore, this week, author and self-described professional introvert Sophia Dembling helps us right the course.

Sophia Dembling is a writer in Dallas, Texas. Sophia is the author of The Introvert’s Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World and Introverts in Love: The Quiet Way to Happily Ever After and writes the excellent Introvert’s Corner blog for Psychology Today. Sophia is also author of 100 Places in the USA Every Woman Should Go, and The Yankee Chick's Survival Guide to Texas. You can find her at Sophia Dembling--Professional Introvert on Facebook, or follow her on Twitter @SophiaDembling.

I recently sat down with Sophia Dembling to discuss the most common ways introverts drift off course and how to make introversion work for you. Listen in to our discussion you will learn:

• How we accidentally create a “shell of introversion” and how to break out.
• Why the vibe of “I’m an introvert; therefore, leave me alone” is problematic.
• The line between solitude and loneliness.
• Why introversion is more of a seesaw than a steady state.
• The two most common mistakes introverts make in the workplace.
• How to be a great team player as an introvert.
• Why being “an introvert” is different than being “introverted.”

Listen to the full interview with Sophia and Ellen using this article's audio player, or on Stitcher, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts below.

Pull Idioms: Pull the Plug, Pull Your Weight, and More

An “idiom” is an expression whose meaning can’t be understood literally just by looking at the words that make it up.

For example, if you “take the cake,” you’re not stealing pastry. You’re good at something! If you’re “sharp as a tack,” you don’t have fingers like Edward Scissorhands. You’re really smart. 

You can tell pretty easily how some idioms got started. “Moving the goalposts,” for example, is an expression borrowed from football. Giving a “one–two punch” came from boxing. 

It’s a lot less clear where other idioms came from though. Let’s look at a few that start with the word “pull,” and you’ll see what I mean. 

Pull the Plug

First, there’s “to pull the plug on something.” This means to end something, often abruptly. For example, you might “pull the plug” on your son’s sleepover if you learned he and his friends were TP-ing the neighbor’s yard.  

This expression sounds like it refers to pulling an electrical plug from its socket. But that’s not the origin of the idiom. Instead, it refers to how you flush an old-fashioned toilet: by pulling out a stopper, which empties the bowl into the pipes below.  

This used to be a pretty remarkable act! A 1932 book describes how a character “pulled the plug of the water-closet and turned to us with a triumphant smile as the house echoed with the demonstrably efficient deluge.”

If only we got that excited about flushing the toilet these days!

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Pull Out All the Stops

Next, there’s “pulling out all the stops.” This means to do everything you possibly can to make something happen. For example, if you “pulled out all the stops” to get to your friend’s birthday party on time, you might have sprinted the last mile to her home after your car broke down.

This expression refers to an activity most of us have never done: playing a pipe organ. An organ is like an overgrown pan flute; it produces sound by pumping wind into pipes of different lengths. The bottom of each pipe is covered with a wooden “stop” or seal. The organist pushes the stop over the bottom of the pipe to silence it and pulls it away to bring the pipe into play. Thus, to create maximum volume, organists “pull out all the stops.” They let the full measure of wind flow into each of the organ’s pipes. 

Organs are complex instruments, but rudimentary versions were built way back in the third century BC. The first recorded use of this idiom, however, wasn’t until 1865, in a book of essays.  

Pulling Your Weight

Then there’s pulling one’s weight. This idiom also refers to something most of us have never done: crewing. That’s a sport in which several rowers work together to propel a boat across the water, using oars. There’s sweep-style crewing, where each rower pulls one oar with both hands. There’s also scull-style crewing, where each rower holds two oars, one in each hand. Either way, to win a race, all rowers must literally pull their own weight as they drag the oars against the water, pushing the boat forward. 

Thus, “pulling your own weight” came to mean doing your share of the work, rather than being a drag on your teammates. This expression was first seen in written use in 1921 in a British weekly.

Pulling the Wool Over Your Eyes

Finally, there’s “pulling the wool over one’s eyes.” This means to trick someone, as in, “I thought our company was doing well until I showed up for work and saw a ‘closed’ sign on the door. The manager really pulled the wool over our eyes.”

You might think this expression has to do with woolen caps. You’d be close. The “wool” in this phrase comes from woolen wigs—the kind worn by noblemen in 16th- and 17th-century Europe. 

In fact, wigs have been worn since the earliest recorded times. The ancient Egyptians shaved their heads and wore wigs as protection from the sun. The ancient Greeks and Romans did the same. And they used wool from cows, goats, yak, sheep—even horses—to make them.

Wigs really took off in the 17th century, when King Louis XIV of France started wearing one to cover his balding head. Aristocrats and courtiers took note and started wearing wigs themselves. Wigs soon became a symbol of social status, and styles eventually became so extreme that wigs often covered a man’s back and shoulders and twisted in wide rolls down his chest. Servants were required to boil, curl, and powder these wigs, sometimes daily. And wigs became so tall—and so expensive—that men who wore the biggest, puffiest ones were known as “bigwigs.” 

We still use that word today to mean “an important person.”

It’s easy to imagine one of these top-heavy wigs slipping over someone’s eyes, blinding them temporarily. In that case, they’d be easy to fool, easy to trick. 

You can see from these examples that many idioms come from unusual or unexpected sources. That’s what makes English so strange to learn—and so fascinating to study. 

Samantha Enslen runs Dragonfly Editorial. You can find her at dragonflyeditorial.com or @DragonflyEdit.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.

Lasagna, Casserole, and other Food Names from Pots and Pans

I found a wonderful book at the library a few weeks ago called “Word Mysteries & Histories,” which was written in the ‘80s by the editors of The American Heritage Dictionaries, and as I was leafing through the book, I came across the kind of information I imagine you could only know if you spend most of your time looking at etymologies. The entry was for the word “caldron,” which can be traced back to the Late Latin word for “kettle,” but then it gets interesting because the word “chowder” also goes back to the Late Latin word for “kettle.” 

Chowder

“Caldron” makes sense because it’s kind of like a kettle, but “chowder,” while it still makes sense because you make chowder in a kettle, is more of a stretch. The fish stew gets its name from the pot you use to make it. 

Lasagna and Casserole

It turns out it’s not the only food that gets its name from a pot or pan. The American Heritage Editors write that “lasagna” comes from a Latin word for “cooking pot,” and “casserole” comes from a French word for “saucepan.”

Cassoulet

I tried to find more foods that got their names from the names of pots or pans and found only one: “cassoulet.” This is a French casserole made from white beans and meat (often pork, lamb, sausage, goose, or duck). The word comes from an Occitan word that means an “earthenware dish.” (Occitan is a Romance language spoken in a few countries or regions including the south of France, Monaco, Catalonia, and the Occitan Valleys of Italy.)

I did find two other foods with interesting origins though.

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Tetrazzini

There are various recipes, but in general, a Tetrazzini is a dish with a white sauce, maybe with mushrooms, served with cheese on top and over pasta. The only two I’ve ever tried are chicken Tetrazzini and turkey Tetrazzini, but people also make tuna Tetrazzini. The dish is named after the Italian opera singer Luisa Tetrazzini, for whom it was first made. The most popular story is that it was invented by the chef at the Palace Hotel in San Francisco where “Tetrazzini was a long-time resident.”

It’s always tricky to know when to capitalize the names of foods that are derived from people or places, and it’s usually best to check a dictionary or style guide. For example, the cocktail name “manhattan” usually isn’t capitalized even though it’s named after the city, but the cocktail called a Bellini (probably named after the painter) usually is capitalized. In most examples I found of the dish chicken Tetrazzini, the word “Tetrazzini” was capitalized.

Stew

Finally, the word “stew” has an interesting, and maybe a little disgusting, origin.

The food we call stew gets its name from the verb “to stew,” as in to take a bath. Meat cooking slowly in liquid comes from the idea of person sitting in a hot bath. Hmm. Ick.

If you know of any other foods that got their names from the pots or pans in which they're cooked, please leave a comment below.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.

Mignon Fogarty is Grammar Girl and the founder of Quick and Dirty Tips. Check out her New York Times best-seller, “Grammar Girl’s Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing.”

‘Dilly Dilly’ and ‘Dillydally’

A listener named Krauty asked a question about last week’s episode that other people have asked too: How is the phrase “dilly dally” related to the word “dilly”? 

Dillydally

We talked about “dillydally” last year in a podcast about reduplication. Bonnie Mills, who wrote that segment, said that “dillydally” started with the word “dally,” which means “delay.” Then, people used redupilication, repeating words or parts of words to make new forms, to turn it into “dillydally.” “Stop dillydallying” means something like “stop wasting time,” “stop delaying,” or “stop messing around.”

So it seems that “dillydally” isn’t related to the “carriage” or “coach” meaning of the word “dilly.” Instead, it comes from “dally,” and the ad agency that came up with “dilly dilly” was on to something—“dilly” is just fun to say, so it showed up when people applied reduplication to “dally.” Other words formed from reduplication include “shilly-shally” and “mumbo jumbo.”

Dilly Dilly

I was curious which came first: “dilly dilly” or “dillydally”—and it seems to be “dillydally.” It goes all the way back to 1741. Even after further searching beyond last week’s episode, the oldest instance I could find of “dilly dilly” was a nursery rhyme that likely originated around 1830. That nursery rhyme has four “dillys” in a row in each stanza. Here’s how it begins:

Oh, what have you got for dinner, Mrs. Bond?

There's beef in the larder, and ducks in the pond;

Dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, come to be killed,

For you must be stuffed and my customers filled!

Again, at first it seems like “dilly” is just fun to say, or it could mean something like “hurry up,” but Etymology Online says that “dilly” is also a nursery word for “duck,” so it seems most likely that Mrs. Bond or her companion are calling the ducks to come and be killed.

One caveat about the dates is that the nursery rhyme could have been passed down orally for a long time before it was written down, so the 1830 date could be misleading.

So that’s the best answer I could find. It doesn’t look like “dillydally” and “dilly” the carriage or “dilly dilly” the interjection are related, and it looks like “dillydally” came first.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.

Mignon Fogarty is Grammar Girl and the founder of Quick and Dirty Tips. Check out her New York Times best-seller, “Grammar Girl’s Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing.”

8 Medical Tests You Don't Actually Need (Part 1)

It’s no secret that the cost of healthcare in this country seems to be exponentially rising. We are one of the only well-developed western countries without an efficient healthcare system. Unfortunately, healthcare is still a business in the U.S. That means money.

Should it be? This seems to be at the heart of the debate these days. Should caring for someone’s life involve decisions that involve money? There are serious flaws in this type of system, as you can imagine.

First of all, doctors tend to be pretty clueless when it comes to money. We don’t know how to manage it. We don’t get trained on how to do this, and our head is stuck in a book for a minimum of 11 years post high school. By the time we start earning an income, we have no idea how to handle it or how to manage a business if we decide to pursue private practice.

We also don’t know how much anything truly costs in medicine. During my residency training, I particularly remember an uninsured friend who was picked up by an ambulance and transferred to the ER. I was absolutely floored to learn that the cost of the entire ordeal was over $25,000. Doctors are not well-trained to understand the cost of tests—this was the first time that I was exposed to the financial side of medicine. I was so focused on learning the art of medicine and how to problem-solve that I neglected this important component of our current U.S. system.

This can be good or bad. It’s good because you don’t want your doctor to think about the cost of anything they deem worthy of your health—you want them to practice medicine as it should be. Their decisions should be without those financial distractions. But it may be bad in another sense because it doesn’t reflect your reality—you may actually receive a bill, and perhaps an outrageous one at that, and you find it difficult to pay off for a long time to come. Especially if it’s a test that you really didn’t even need in the first place.

Most doctors are employees of large groups that aim to protect their reputation and jobs, just like any other business. Patients pay heftily for their health plans, understandably have high expectations for their care as a result, in a system where physicians are rated by patients online and employer surveys and not by the quality of medicine they deliver. 

Most doctors are employees of large groups that aim to protect their reputation and jobs, just like any other business. Patients pay heftily for their health plans, and understandably have high expectations for their care as a result. And because physicians are rated by patients online or by employer surveys and not by the quality of medicine they deliver, an unhealthy cycle ensues where doctors may hesitate to deny patients their requests.

Where does this all lead?

To the cycle of over-testing, over-spending, and increased costs.

What also works against us docs is the ever-growing media monster that drives up costs of drugs, using skewed pharmaceutical advertisements that attempt to brainwash the masses in order to sell their drugs. "Low T" (referring to "testosterone"), anyone? How can I compete with that as a lowly physician in a clinic? And why am I placed in that position to do so in the first place, anyway?

It doesn’t look like our healthcare system is changing significantly any time soon. So us doctors need to fight back. We need to start saying no, and to educate the patient population as to why we are saying no. And patients can do their part by finding a doctor that they trust, and to try to learn the pros/cons of tests so that they understand why some tests are bogus and unnecessary.

Here are a few tests that many people think they need, but really don't.

1. Vitamin D Level

“Dr. Majd, can you also check my vitamin D level in my blood work?”

“Why are you concerned about your vitamin D level?”

“Because I’m tired all the time. And my sister tells me that Vitamin D can give me energy, and that I should get my level checked to see if I’m low.”

The hype is frustratingly widespread, and it’s truly a challenge to fight the vitamin D battle. The media has portrayed vitamin D as the miraculous answer to all things medical, from fatigue, to depression, to heart attacks, and even to cancer. But there’s not a lot of science to back up all these claims.

In fact, the vitamin industry is now quite a profitable one. If you recall a decade or two ago, the vitamin craze hadn’t hit yet. Everyone prefers something “natural” to treat their ailments nowadays. Hey, I’m with you on that. I wish there were a true “natural” option for everything. But as I’ve mentioned in my prior podcasts, not everything “natural” is safe. Or effective. But the vitamin industry doesn’t tell you that—that they remain unchecked and FDA unregulated.

The truth is that there is no good evidence that even checking vitamin D levels in most patients is beneficial. What population has been shown to possibly benefit from checking levels?

• Elderly patients at risk for falls
• The elderly in nursing homes or home-bound
• Those with intestinal disease such as Crohn's and Celiac
• Certain surgeries with removal of intestines or stomach
• Those with kidney or liver disease (that help metabolize vitamin D)
• Those with osteoporosis and parathyroid disorders

And get this: expert groups don’t even agree on what “normal” levels are. Some say 20 and some say 30. We don’t really know.

The cost for this one single test? Hundreds. And insurance often will deny coverage for anything that is not backed up by evidence. Unfortunately, the patients often ultimately carry the load and receive the bill.

2. A Shoulder or Knee MRI

As with everything else on my list, I am referring to most—most people with shoulder or knee pain don’t really need an MRI. Are you surprised to hear this? You're definitley not alone.

Let’s take this example: You are in your fifties or so and have been suffering from chronic knee pain for the last one to two years now. You finally discuss it with your doctor, who may order an X-ray. But it’s normal—now what? An X-ray doesn’t say much for the soft tissue, ligaments, and meniscus, right? So you request an MRI. What if you have a meniscal tear?

Meniscal knee surgery is the top knee surgery performed by orthopedic surgeons in the U.S. It costs an estimated $4 billion annually alone. Studies have recently shown that whether you have knee surgery for a degenerative meniscal repair or not, the end point is really the same. People do equally as well with conservative treatment (physical therapy, activity modification, anti-inflammatories, etc.) long term.

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Now, an MRI is typically only useful if you are ready to surgically repair it. So let’s say you do have that knee MRI and it shows a ligament or meniscal tear? What will you do with that knowledge? Lots of people have a meniscal tear and live with it, and that is totally fine. There’s nothing “dangerous” about leaving it unrepaired for most people.

But we just spent thousands of dollars for a test that will not really change our outcome one way or another. What’s the point of doing it in the first place? Simply “to know”? In my humble opinion, it’s not worth contributing to the rising healthcare costs by performing unnecessary MRIs, one of the most commonly ordered high-cost tests in medicine.

3. Hormone Levels

“I am so moody these days, Doc. Can you check my hormone levels?”

By “hormone levels,” we are often referring to the female feed-good hormones estrogen, progesterone, and their precursors. Did you know that in a menstruating female, these hormone levels are all over the map? It can be low and seemingly in the menopausal range on one day, and then high enough to carry a pregnancy on another. In women who still have cycles, testing the levels are not very revealing because of this.

And the blood levels certainly cannot explain any moodiness. Here’s an article that explains what can cause moodiness, however.

The truth is, the symptoms of “perimenopause” can begin up to 5-10 years prior to menopause. Symptoms can plague us women during this entire time period. We don’t need a blood test to tell us that. Hormone levels are not even typically necessary to diagnose menopause, either, which occurs at an average age of 51 in U.S. women and is defined simply by a period of one year without menstrual bleeding. That’s it; no test needed.

Now, there are instances in which checking hormone levels may be useful. For example, it would be unusual for a 35-year-old young women to be in menopause. In this case, the blood levels may be useful if there are no cycles and I’m wondering if she’s had premature ovarian failure.

I don’t know my blood type either. The truth is, it’s not generally useful to us doctors.

Fertility clinics also may order estrogen levels to determine when to administer certain treatments.

4. Blood Type

I always get taken back when I receive the request to order a blood type on a patient. It’s not terribly often, but it does happen.

"I just would like to know, Doc. I’ve never known.”

Me neither. I don’t know my blood type. The truth is, it’s not generally useful to us doctors unless:

• You’re donating blood products.
• You’re receiving blood products.
• You’re pregnant.

Outside and nearby countries seem to routinely order blood types on patients. But as everything else in the U.S., unless there’s a scientifically-validated reason for ordering it, your insurance will send you a nice fat bill for this one, too.

So you have now taken part in some of the explanations that I hear myself reiterating repeatedly while in clinic. I would say that about 99% of patients are very understanding and are on the same page with me after learning the real scoop. But I must say, I do tend to attract a very kind patient population who trusts my expertise.

Today we’ve reviewed four of those conversations. Next week, let’s pick up where we’ve left off and review the next set of unnecessary yet costly tests that are commonly ordered in medicine.

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Please note that all content here is strictly for informational purposes only.  This content does not substitute any medical advice, and does not replace any medical judgment or reasoning by your own personal health provider.  Please always seek a licensed physician in your area regarding all health related questions and issues.

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