4 Annoying Behaviors In Kids and How To Correct Them

Before I had kids, I must admit that I was sometimes a bit too quick to judge when I saw a child displaying an inappropriate behavior out in public. Whether it be the all-out tantrum at the grocery store checkout lane or overhearing a seemingly stubborn tween spouting off a colorful mouthful of nasty backtalk to her dazed mother, I would repeatedly tell myself, “This will not be how my kids behave once I become a parent.”

It wasn’t that I was looking to be judgmental in these instances, but I honestly believed that parenting was going to be so much easier for me because—get this—my kids were actually going to listen to me!

Then my fantasy ended when I had eight kids in one decade. Payback is not always pleasant as I learned the hard way about the interesting variety of unpleasant behaviors all children were capable of, including my own. Twenty-four years later, let's discuss four annoying behaviors that kids easily rely on, and some common sense fixes to nip them in the bud.

4 Annoying Behaviors in Kids

1. Manipulation  
2. Whining
3. Interrupting
4. Disrespect

Annoying Behavior #1: Manipulation  

If your kids are like most, they are masterful at finding creative ways to wear you down to get their way. In many cases, you just can’t blame them. Kids learn pretty darn fast that if they really want something, like that shiny toy they see in the store when you’ve already told them you’re just running in to get milk. Or maybe they want their best friend to sleep over on a school night and they ask you right in front of all the adults at the playground because they know you waiver when you have an audience. They push your buttons just the right way, or catch you at your weakest moment, say after you’re home from an exhausting day at work, and you’ll finally cave and give in to their daunting request just to quiet them down.

I learned this right away in my role as a parent of a small army. One of the first valuable lessons I gleaned from our family pediatrician was about how kids (young and old) are masters at manipulation. She basically said that it’s our kids' job to make demands and then figure out whatever way they can to have these requests fulfilled, no matter what!

Examples of manipulation are endless. One of my favorites was when one of my eight kids would ask for something, say going to the late movie with friends and then wanting to hang out at the mall until it closed. “Mom, Dad said it was fine with him. I’m going to call Sam and Jack and arrange for a ride.” Wait a minute, Dad’s not even here tonight, he’s at a meeting! Playing one parent against another is a classic form of manipulation.

Another is emotional blackmail. “Mom, everyone in my grade has an iPhone, except for me. Kids are always making fun of me because I still have a flip phone. Now I’m the big joke at practice every day. There’s no way I can go to school anymore, it’s way too embarrassing!” (Note: This is also said with a loud voice and lots of sighing, head shaking, and puppy dog eyes.)

Course Correction: Our pediatrician’s advice was to not get all riled up in front of our kids when they were in manipulation mode, and not to give in but instead teach them about self-control and that they weren’t always going to get their way. If you have firm boundaries in place to begin with—a regular curfew time, a schedule your kids must keep in helping with chores around the house, ways they can earn extra money to help offset the cost of a high-ticket item like a new phone—when they do try and play on your emotions to get you to give in, you can much more easily stick to the rules you’ve established.

Remain calm and respond in a positive manner so your child will see that you’re not falling for his shenanigans. “Cameron, your father is away on a business trip, so I’m not sure how you found a way to reach him about going out tonight. You can enjoy the movie with your friends, and if Jack’s mom can’t pick you up right when it’s ended, I’d be happy to come get you.”

Annoying Behavior #2: Whining

If there’s one behavior that can grate on any parent’s nerves, whining is definitely at the top of the list. Much like manipulation, whining is a young child’s “go to” coping skill to express themselves when they're bored, not feeling well, hungry, cranky, or not pleased with something—the list goes on and on. Whining is effective because the shrill sound that a whiner makes can cut you to the core, particularly when they drone on for endless amounts of time until they finally get their way.

The key to a child’s whining is the reaction he/she knows they will get the minute they start. It’s developmentally appropriate for young toddlers and preschoolers to communicate their needs with an annoying whine because the whole point is for an adult to respond and satisfy their want. That jar of cookies high up on the kitchen counter look delicious, but it’s difficult for a child who is three feet tall to reach them. Open mouth, make noise and whine, nearby adult will come running to give him a cookie and ultimately shut him up. Ten minutes later, same child has spilled a little juice on his pants. It’s no fun being a little wet, but it’s not a problem because a mere stint of whining from the playroom will grab mom’s attention down the hall where she’s doing laundry. Now that we’re dry and mom has gone back to the laundry room, the child is now bored and wants mom to come entertain him. Whining has worked for the past two problems, so it’s sure to work this time as well, and so the cycle continues.

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Course Correction: When you give in to your child's demands immediately, you're reinforcing her behavior, and although whining can wear you down in a heartbeat, the most effective way to break this annoying habit is to ignore it. Easier said than done, believe me, I know, but you need to retrain your little guy or gal so they can understand why the rules are changing. Keep it simple and let your whiner know that mom and dad are not going to listen to a whiney voice, but if they ask in a nice voice, you will be better able to help them. Explain what a nice voice is, because your child truly may not understand that concept. Even if you have to role play and imitate a whining voice (while not making fun of your child) just so you are all on the same page. Then be CONSISTENT. You can’t expect your child to change a bad habit such as whining if he gets mixed messages from you. Stay the course and when your child begins to whine, don’t react with emotion. Instead, calmly remind him that you will listen when he uses his nice voice. Soon, he will stop whining and nagging in which case, don’t forget to use lots of praise. Now your child will want to get your attention for a positive reaction, not a negative one.

Annoying Behavior #3: Interrupting

As a busy mom and someone who works in an extremely busy office atmosphere, one of my biggest pet peeves has always been people who just charge in and interrupt me when I’m engaged in conversation with another person (child or adult). Not only is it rude, if you drop everything and react to answer their every whim, it teaches your child (or the adult) that it’s completely fine to do that to you or anyone else they might need something from. Certainly there are times when this can be condoned—say the house is on fire, or someone is in extreme danger—but other than that, it’s not acceptable. Period!

Course Correction: When our kids were very young and needed to speak to me or their father, we implemented a little trick that we learned from one of their pre-school teachers. Instead of letting them interrupt, teach your child to place her hand on your wrist and wait. Then you put your hand over hers to acknowledge her and you continue to talk without stopping to ask what her need is. After you finish your conversation, then turn to your child and see what she wants. Because my kids learned this at a young age, it’s very rare that they interrupt until they are invited to speak.

Annoying Behavior #4: Disrespect

One of my biggest annoyances as a parent is a child who cops a snarky attitude and gives sarcastic lip back. Throw in a little eye rolling and snickering and you’ve got yourself an entire annoying package. And so often, when you are the recipient of your child’s sassy backtalk you feel hurt, angry, and shocked that your own offspring who you do so much for would treat you with such disregard. It stinks!

Course Correction: One way to respond to sarcasm is to simply say, “Don’t talk to me that way, I don’t like it,” and turn around and walk away. That way, you’re taking all the power out of the room with you. If you argue or try to make a point, you’re giving your child more power.

Another tactic, which I refer to in my episode on ways to handle teenage defiance and rebellion is to change defiance into respect by modeling respect in your interactions with your tween or teen. I’ve personally found this to be very successful while raising my eight kids and it’s something I try to practice daily. I cited the following example when dealing with a common parent/teen struggle.

Disrespectful Parent: Why haven’t you started your homework yet? It’s 7 o’clock already! Do you want to fail your math test tomorrow? I can’t believe this!

Respectful Parent: Hey, I know this video game is really fun, so you may have lost track of time. It’s 7 o’clock, which is the time we agreed you’d start your homework. I remember you have a math test tomorrow.

I also referred to the way in which you deliver your message:

“And it’s not just the words. Tone and delivery count, too. So don’t yell from the adjoining room while staring at your smartphone. Go to them, make eye contact, and say it gently. Then actually listen to the response. You’ll probably never hear “Oh, thank you dear mother for your kind reminder,” but you may get a grunt of agreement and some actual action out of the second approach, rather than a smart remark.”

What annoying behaviors do you deal with in your family? Share your thoughts in the comments section at http://ift.tt/1zMEe2L, post your ideas on the Mighty Mommy Facebook page. or email me at mommy@quickanddirtytips.com. Visit my family-friendly boards at http://ift.tt/1wyJKr5

Image of angry child © Shutterstock

'Based In' or 'Based Out Of'?

A few years ago, I ran an episode about how I was hearing a lot of speakers saying "based off" instead of "based on." The cheerful example I used was “I believe we’re all doomed based off what I saw last night,” instead of “I believe we’re all doomed based on what I saw last night.” In that episode, I said that the usage really took off in the 1990s, although “based on” is still in the majority. Well, now I have some further information about “based off” and an interesting parallel with another construction involving the word “based.”

‘Based On’ Versus ‘Based Off’

First, some more-specific numbers for “based on.” A 2013 post by Anne Curzan in the “Chronicle of Higher Education” Lingua Franca blog compared “based on” with “based off of” in the Google Ngram viewer, and found that in the year 2000, “based on” outnumbered “based off of” by a ratio of 100,000 to 1, but that by 2008, the ratio had decreased to just 10,000 to 1. A search in the Corpus of Contemporary English (also called COCA) has different numbers, but the same trend: In the early 1990s, “based on” outnumbered “based off” by almost 13,000 to 1, but in the years from 2010 through 2015, it lost ground and outnumbered “based off” by only about 1,000 to 1. So just as I said in the earlier episode, “based off” is gaining on “based on” but is still very much in the minority. 

‘Based In’ Versus ‘Based Out Of’

It also turns out that “based off” is not the only new variation of a construction involving “based.” In fact, there’s an older variation whose trajectory “based off” seems to be following. It’s the phrase “based out of,” which has been edging into the territory of “based in.” For example, a sentence like “Grammar Girl is based in Reno, Nevada,” might be phrased by some speakers as “Grammar Girl is based out of Reno, Nevada.” COCA has the ratio of “based in” to “based out of” at about 230 to 1 in the first decade of this century, but since 2010, “based out of” has been gaining ground. The ratio of “based in” to “based out of” is now only around 100 to 1. 

Useful as COCA is, this corpus only goes back to 1990. To look further back, you need a different corpus, and here the Google Ngram viewer comes in handy again. If you search it for “based out of,” you’ll see that this expression has the same slow start that we get with “based off of,” then the same steep rise, but instead of starting in the 1990s, it started in the 1960s! Like “based off of,” “based out of” has continued to rise in usage, but with its head start, “based out of” is much more frequent than “based off of” these days. If you search Google Ngrams for both expressions, you can see their lines on the graph, following the same basic path, but separated like two lines on a contour map.

So why did “based in” and “based on” develop these “based out of” and “based off of” variants? The earliest uses of “based out of” suggest a situation like this one, described on the website “Stack Exchange: English Language & Usage,” where visitors ask and answer questions about English grammar and usage. In response to one question about “based out of,” a user called phenry writes:

"Based out of" often suggests that the subject maintains a headquarters or home office in the given location, but spends a majority or other significant amount of time working in other locations; "based in" suggests that the subject works in the given location most of the time.

Another user, named KeithS, points out that this can often be the case with military units. He writes:

“‘Based out of’ is a common term to refer to the home base of a military unit: the 101st Airborne is ‘based out of’ Fort Campbell, Kentucky, but they're currently getting it done in Afghanistan. We don't usually say ‘based in,’ because unfortunately, soldiers don't get to wake up in bed next to their spouses, have a nice breakfast and then commute to war.”

Since then, newer speakers may have simply generalized that “based out of” was the way to go, without considering the nuances of how much time a person or company spends at their base. 

Or maybe something larger is going on. Ever since the publication of the book “Metaphors We Live By,” by George Lakoff and Mark Johnson in 1980, it has been recognized more and more that language is built to a staggering extent on metaphors that we don’t even realize are metaphors anymore. Using the word “based” makes use of what Lakoff and Johnson call an orientational metaphor. When we say “based on” or “based in,” we’re thinking of a base as a place of centrality. But if you think of a base instead as a starting point from which you can explore new directions, then saying “based off” and “based out of” could be just a reflection of this shifted metaphor. 

Be careful, though. “Based out of” is still the minority variant, and a third Stack Exchange user offers a cautionary tale when dealing with world Englishes. Michael described a situation in which foreign readers thought that when a report said a company was based out of a country, that it meant outside of the country, as in “not in that country,” and the readers made decisions based on that misunderstanding that led to them having to pay millions of dollars in US taxes. Ouch!

So for now, “based on” and “based in” are still the safer and preferred variants. I’m curious, though: If we’re seeing a new metaphor shift taking place, then we can predict that speakers who prefer “based off” will also prefer “based out of,” and vice versa. Speakers who like both “based off” and “based in,” or both “based on” and “based out of,” should be rare. Which forms do you prefer? Do you tend to use “based” as a metaphor of centrality, or as a metaphor of reaching out from the center? 

This article was written by Neal Whitman, who blogs at literalminded.wordpress.com. You can also find him on Twitter as @LiteralMinded.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.

What is Spinal Stenosis?

I recently received the following inquisitive email from an eager listener:

“Is it possible to make a post about things like…spinal stenosis and any other bone related issues? I have spinal stenosis…,[and] stress in general, so with sudden pains in places I don't identify with stenosis, I panic and rush to the ER and obviously cannot run to the ER with every quirk I get...so to have info on issues of the bones would be of much help…probably to others as well? Thanking you in advance if you will make a thread about what I'm asking.” ~ A.P.

Thanks A.P. for your topic suggestion. And indeed, spinal stenosis is quite a common physiological condition. And back pain is the fifth most common reason that drives people to the doctor’s office. Most of the time, back pain is self-resolving and benign. However, there are rare causes of back pain that can be emergent, and I’ve reviewed these red flags and how to prepare for your back pain visit in a prior article, along with the common causes and treatment options of low back pain in a subsequent article.

But let’s tackle spinal stenosis specifically today. Spinal stenosis is not often an emergency. It may become chronic and is sometimes a progressive condition of the back, but it’s not usually a reason people need to dart to the ER. Let’s review what spinal stenosis is, the symptoms, and some treatment options.

The Anatomy of the Spine

The spine originates in the back of the skull and spans all the way down into the pelvis, and is made up of smaller blocks called “vertebrae” (think LEGOS). There are five different types of these LEGO vertebrae regions:

• The cervical spine (or C-spine for short) includes seven vertebrates and runs from the back of the head and extends through the neck.
• The thoracic spine (T-spine) houses 12 vertebrates that span the upper to mid-back.
• The lumbar spine (yep, you guessed it, the L-spine) consists of five vertebrates that encompass the lower back, the most commonly injured region of the spine.
• The sacral spine (this one is simply referred to as the “sacrum”) contains five vertebrates as well, but they are fused and therefore appear smoother. The non-medical term often used for the sacrum and beyond is the “tailbone.”
• The coccyx is the very tip of the spine and includes anywhere from three to five also-fused vertebrate.

Here's a helpful image to visualize this anatomy.

Within the spinal cord lies a long canal that spans from the C-spine and ends at the first lumbar vertebrate. This canal houses the numerous nerves that run down the spine and exit at various levels to feed your body parts. The spinal cord ends at the first lumbar vertebrate, but the nerves still continue on past that and through to the tailbone.

Directly in front of the spinal cord lies a thick, roundish ring with a central jelly-like fluid within the spine. This is the “disk” that is referred to in “herniated disks.” It is there to help cushion the spinal cord in the canal, and to prevent all the little bones of the spine from rubbing against each other.

What is Spinal Stenosis?

The word “stenosis” denotes a compression, and in spinal stenosis it refers to a spinal canal that is compressed by the nearby surrounding structures that impinge on the nerves running through the canal. Therefore, if the nerves have less room, they can become aggravated and can cause what's called neurologic compromise. If the stenosis is at the C-spine, then it will affect the nerves that run down the arms. And if the stenosis is at the lumbar spine, then it can impinge upon the nerves that run down the legs.

What Causes Spinal Stenosis?

What causes that canal to become stenotic, you may be wondering? Well, this is the root of it all (no pun intended). People can be born that way (referred to as “congenital” spinal stenosis) or it can develop through time and age. 

• Arthritis is the most common cause. The vertebrate and its bony structures can wear and tear through time. And this arthritic degeneration can impinge on the nerves within the canal and cause spinal stenosis.
• Herniated disks can also cause spinal stenosis, by protruding and encroaching on the spinal nerves that it’s supposed to be cushioning and protecting. Herniated disks are common. Many of us may have one (or more) without knowing, because it doesn’t always cause pain. It’s overall benign, unless it chronically affects the nerves it compresses.
• Spondylolisthesis is another potential cause of spinal stenosis (no, you don’t have to know this word or even say it out loud). It refers to when a vertebrate is out of alignment with the rest of the adjacent vertebraes. If it slips too far forward, it can place pressure on the nerves inside the canal. Check out this image from the American Academy of Orthopedic Surgeons.
• Tumors near or in the spine can also compress the canal. Many of these tumors may be benign, such as lipomas or cysts, but are an infrequent cause of spinal stenosis.
• Lastly, bone disease can affect the bones of the spine. Examples include autoimmune disorders such as rheumatoid arthritis or ankylosing spondylitis. These conditions are often hereditary.

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Symptoms of Spinal Stenosis

Now that we have learned the root of the condition, let’s review some of the more common symptoms that spinal stenosis induces.

First of all, many people with spinal stenosis have no symptoms at all. Or their symptoms may be mild, transient, and self-resolving.

Because the nerves are encroached upon, the symptoms of spinal stenosis may include the nerves. Numbness and tingling in the legs or feet in lumbar stenosis, or hands or arms in cervical stenosis reflect nerve involvement.

Back pain is also a potential symptom. Pain is usually induced by certain activity, such as standing, walking, moving a certain way, etc. Most people tell me they don’t have pain at rest and leaning forward provides relief in some.

Bed rest can worsen symptoms and is not typically recommended for those with spinal stenosis or back pain.

If spinal stenosis symptoms become chronic, however, they will chronically injure the nerves as well. And people may experience weakness of the legs or arms eventually. Doctors would like to avoid this from happening to patients, and if the symptoms become chronic they may require further care from a specialist.

Diagnosis and Treatment of Spinal Stenosis

Spinal stenosis can often be seen on an X-ray. An MRI is not typically necessary and is a costly test without further usefulness most of the time (unless the patient is a surgery candidate or the pain becomes chronic).

And its treatment is conservative. That means we often treat it the same as other causes of back pain, such as muscle strains, herniated disks, arthritis, etc. This includes medications to calm down the inflammation, muscle relaxants, physical therapy, ice or heat, and sometimes steroid injections. I’ve reviewed treatment of low back pain in detail prior, so review my previous episode if you'd like more specifics.

If spinal stenosis is severe, sometimes surgery is recommended in order to save the limbs from weakness or chronic nerve damage. Like most elective surgery, it is often a last resort.

Whatever you do, stay active. Bed rest can worsen symptoms and is not typically recommended for those with spinal stenosis or back pain.

Back Pain Red Flags

There are certain instances in which back pain becomes urgent and sometimes a dire emergency. If you have any of the following, please see your doctor right away:

• Trauma that precipitated the pain.
• Urine or bowel difficulties.
• Numbness or changes in sensation of the genitals or buttocks.
• Motor deficits (weakness of the limbs).
• Fever.
• Unintentional weight loss.
• History of cancer.
• If the pain is so severe that you can find a comfortable position.

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Please note that all content here is strictly for informational purposes only.  This content does not substitute any medical advice, and does not replace any medical judgment or reasoning by your own personal health provider.  Please always seek a licensed physician in your area regarding all health related questions and issues.

Image of a spinal cord © Shutterstock

11+ Winter Workouts to Stay Fit in Freezing Temps

It’s winter here in the northern hemisphere, and for many of us that means colder weather, snow on the ground, and darker, shorter days. All of that added together can often make us want to hit the couch with a cup of coffee and a good book until spring rolls around. Or at least shift all of our workouts, exercise programs, and sporting events to an indoor setting. I don’t blame you. I grew up in Edmonton, Alberta where winter lasts eight months of the year and it regularly gets below -22 degrees Fahrenheit.

But there are many great outdoor activities available to us at this time of year—and many of them are only available at this time of year. I think it is a shame to waste them!

I'm here to tell you that despite the snow, the cold, and the lack of sunlight, you can still go outside and get a great workout and have some fun while you are at it.

I know what you are thinking though: “I need to get a good workout and there are only so many hours in the day. I’m just going to hit the gym on the way home from work and call it good.” Well, I am here to tell you that despite the snow, the cold, and the potential lack of sunlight, you can still go outside and get a great workout and have some fun while you're at it.

To that end, here is a list of some regular outdoor winter activities along with some small alterations that you can make if you want more of a workout.

11+ Winter Workouts to Try Outside

1. Winter Hiking
2. Snowshoeing
3. Cross-Country Skiing
4. Polar Plunge
5. Sledding
6. Building a Snowman
7. Shoveling the Walk
8. Skiing or Snowboarding
9. Ice Hockey
10. Ice Skating
11. Snowball Fight

Let's dive deeper into each winter workout. 

1. Winter Hiking

Find a trail, a hill, or a mountain, strap on your hiking boots, and away you go. Winter hiking may be hard enough on its own, depending on how much snow there is where you live, but if hoofing it along some trails in the nearest wilderness you have isn’t enough of a challenge, you can try putting something heavy in your backpack like a few books, a dumbbell, or a rock. 

If you have a weighted vest, or wrist and ankle weights, this is the perfect time to bust those out. Piggybacking a child or a small adult can also turn an uphill hike into a gruelling workout if you are so inclined (pun intended).

Muscles used: Quadriceps, Hamstrings, Calves, Gluteals, Abs, Hip Adductors, and Abductors.

2. Snowshoeing

Sure, you look like you are wearing tennis rackets on your feet but this is a time-tested and science-backed technique to traverse the snowy trails. If you haven't snowshoed since you were a child, you may want to spend an hour or so getting used to them before you try anything too wild, but if you are already an adept snowshoe aficionado, one of the most exhilarating things I have done is descending a reasonably steep hill at near breakneck speeds in snowshoes.

The trick is to get yourself into a flow state. Don’t think; just keep your feet moving and never second guess your next footfall. If you hesitate, that is when you will end up eating snow. The good news is, if there is a layer of fresh powder, that will cushion your fall.

Muscles used: Quadriceps, Hamstrings, Hip Adductors and Abductors, and Hip Flexors. With poles: Pectorals and Latissimi Dorsi.

3. Cross-Country Skiing

For those adrenaline junkies out there, cross-country doesn’t really seem like skiing at all but if you can turn that need-for-speed off for a few minutes, you will see this is a lovely and challenging way to enjoy the great outdoors. 

In my opinion, the best heartrate-raising cross-country skiing happens when you are breaking the trail. Get out front of the group, get off the trodden path, and break trail for yourself and your friends. The deeper the snow, the better the burn. Now that can turn a lazy ski afternoon into a true workout.

Muscles used: Core, Hamstrings, Quadriceps, Gluteals, Leg Abductors and Adductors, Pectorals, Triceps, Rhomboids, Rear Deltoids, Biceps, and Gastrocnemius.

4. Polar Plunge

Yes, it is exactly what it sounds like. You find a natural body of water—a lake, river, stream or creek—and chop through the ice (if necessary), then strip down to your skivvies and jump in! Is there any better way to ring in the New Year? 

After all my talk about cold exposure being so good for you, why not take the plunge? For added benefit, try staying in a little longer than you are “comfortable” with. Get a good shiver going before you run back to your warm, dry clothes and then, instead of huddling around a fire or an electric heater to warm up, try some burpees or jumping jacks and use your own thermogenesis to warm you up!

Muscles used: Willpower, Grit, and Gumption.

5. Sledding

Get in touch with your 10-year-old self and hit the slopes on your butt. You can think of it like doing hill repeats but with a more exhilarating descent.

Take it to the next level by making the other adults on the hill look like lazy chumps (sipping their Starbucks and staring at their phones) by running up the hill each time instead of the traditional trudge. For bonus points, invite some kids to add some weight to your toboggan by giving them a ride up the hill. Depending on the size of the kids and the size of the hill, this could be quite the workout!

Muscles used: Vastus group of the Quadriceps, Hamstrings, Gluteals, Hip Flexors, and Soleus.

6. Building a Snowman

Ok. If you have rolled a 2-foot-high snowman butt around your yard before, you know how much of a workout that can be. How about using the snow from your neighbour’s yard too and turn that into a 4-foot-high snowman bottom? Or head to the local playground or school ground to use their snow as well. We’re talking some record-breaking snowman assembly here. And I can’t imagine anyone getting upset at you for stealing their snow. I mean, it’ll save them having to shovel it eventually, right?

Muscles used: Abdominals, Erectors, Multifidi, Rotares, Gluteals, Quadriceps, Hamstrings, Calves, Hip Adductors and Abductors, Upper Back, and Chest.

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7. Shoveling the Walk

And speaking of shovelling, this is a great wintertime workout that also helps out the neighbourhood. Most cities have bylaws that insist snow gets cleared within 48 hours of a snowfall, so why wait? Clear the walks and burn some calories.

Make sure you keep the workload even by changing hands on the shovel every few minutes. If you aren't already an ambidextrous shoveler, you will be soon.

Shovelling your own walk can be made harder by waiting longer before you engage in the “throw” part of the shovel activity. Also you can make sure you keep the workload even by changing hands on the shovel every few minutes. If you aren't already an ambidextrous shoveler, you will be soon.

The real benefits kick in when you do more than just your own sidewalk. Why not make everyone’s day by getting out there early and clearing as many sidewalks and driveways as you can before you make yourself late for work? And if you aren’t putting yourself in danger of frostbite or hypothermia, try incorporating some aspects of a “shiver walk” by going out in shorts and a t-shirt along with a good pair of winter gloves, boots, and a hat so you don’t freeze your extremities.

Muscles used: Quadriceps, Hamstrings, Gluteals, Biceps, Triceps, and pretty much all of the trunk/core, especially the external obliques and multifidus.

8. Skiing or Snowboarding

Is there any better way to enjoy the winter season than careening, at breakneck speeds, down a mountain? Ok, for you it might be all about the après-ski beverages in the chalet but for many of us, swishing down the slopes is the closest we get to flying!

Need to beef it up? Well, this could get dangerous fast, so let’s not get carried away adding in weighted vests or blindfolds. Challenging yourself with a harder-than-usual run is a great way to start the day but as your legs get tired, and the sun starts to set, there is nothing wrong with taking it easy and dialing it back from black diamond to blue square or green circle. Getting a good workout tomorrow is easier if you aren’t in a cast from hip to ankle. Right?

Muscles used: Plantar Flexors and Dorsiflexors, Transverse Abdominal, Multifidus, External Obliques, Rectus Abdominus, Anterior Compartment, Quadriceps, Hamstrings, and Gluteals.

9. Ice Hockey

Hitting the rink, indoor or out, with your friends (or some local rink rats) is a great way to get a workout and have some fun at the same time. Who knows, your competitive side may just come out and lead to some unintended victories as well.

If simply skating hard and deking out your friends isn’t enough, you can challenge yourself by being both offense and defense (if it is a true game of shinny and no one is really playing a position). You can also get more of a workout by extending your shifts—just don’t be “that hog” who never lets their teammates have a turn. The best way to make a game of ice hockey more of a challenge and a better workout is to play with (or against) people who are clearly better than you. Nothing makes you step up your game like getting scored on repeatedly.

Muscles used: Adductors Brevis, Longus, Magnus and Pectineus, Obliques, Rectus Abdominis, Erector Spinae, Hamstrings, Quadriceps, Gluteals, and Hip Flexors.

10. Ice Skating

You don’t have to have a stick in your hands and a puck on the ice to enjoy putting on the old skates and letting loose your inner Brian Boitano.

We’ve talked a lot so far about adding weight to our body or to something we are pulling, so this time let’s talk intensity. The best way to increase your VO2 Max is by doing eight to twelve, 600m to 800m all-out speed or power skating efforts. For VO2 max workouts, the work-to-recovery ratio should be in the range of 1:1 to 2:1. If your recoveries are too short then your subsequent efforts will end up being slower than optimal or you will need to cut the workout short. So grab your measuring tape (or just eyeball it) and a stopwatch and see if you can give Boitano a run for his money.

Muscles used: Soleus and Gastocnemius, Anterior Shin (tibialis anterior), Quadriceps, Hamstrings, Gluteals, Abdominals, and Extensors.

11. Snowball Fight

How could I have a list of winter activities and not include having a snowball fight?

How could I have a list of winter activities and not include having a snowball fight? Seriously? Those of us who grew up in a snowy locale have been having these our entire lives. Is there anything more natural than grabbing a handful of snow and chucking it at your sibling or best friend? I don’t think so.

To take a regular snowball fight to the next level, move it out into a wide open field where you have nothing to hide behind but your own cat-like reflexes. Depending on how accurate your opponent is, this can keep you dancing and dodging until you collapse.

There is also some good science around the benefits of using your non-dominant hand for activities like this. The studies show that when you use your dominant hand, only one hemisphere of the brain is active but when you use your non-dominant hand, both hemispheres are activated. They speculate that doing this repeatedly could result in you actually thinking differently and becoming more creative.

Muscles used: Visual Cortex, Nervous System, Quadriceps, Hamstrings, Hip Adductors, Hip Abductors, Gluteals, Int./Ext., Obliques, Rectus Abdominis, Erector Spinae, Deltoids, Pectoralis Major, Latissimus Dorsi, Triceps, and Biceps.

There you have it! Whether you feel like you are battling Seasonal Affective Disorder or you are just getting a case of the winter blahs, I bet it's at least partially a result of not getting outside and enjoying yourself. Don't let the length of winter force you inside with the windows closed!

There are so many benefits to being active outdoors. It's a great way to boost your metabolism and burn some calories, plus the fresh air makes us feel alive again. Just make sure you dress appropriately for your climate. I'm confident you can find a way to both enjoy winter and get a good workout at the same time. 

For more outdoor info, winter tips, and to join the snowy conversation, head over to http://ift.tt/1xq4tPg or http://twitter.com/getfitguy. Also don't forget to subscribe to the Get-Fit Guy podcast on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, SoundCloud, Spotify, Google Play or via RSS.

Using Location-Based and Future Reminders

We all have things we need to remember to do. That’s why we have to-do lists. Or in our modern, smartphone-filled world, to-do list apps. But not every reminder fits into a daily to-do list.

“Buy rare Albanian nose hair clippers” is something you can only do when you’re near the Albanian antiques store, all the way across town. It’s not important enough to make a special trip, and your nose hair is generally well-behaved. But gee, when you’re in the area, you really want to pick up a pair. There’s something about the combination of lapis lazuli and amethyst that you just can’t get out of your head. 

Other reminders don’t apply yet. During the 2017 solar eclipse Bernice discovered, the hard way, that her Audrey II plants get a little testy during an eclipse. At the next eclipse, she’d like to remember to pick up some restraining straps. Just in case. But that’s seven years away!

A normal to-do list doesn’t quite work for cases like this. Fortunately, many mobile to-do list apps have features that can help.

Get reminded when you’re where you need to be

Even though our phones make it feel like we can be at any place at any time, the reality is we can’t. And for some tasks we really do need to be in the right place, at the right time. Luckily, our smartphones can help remind us when we get there.

A location-based reminder goes off only when your GPS says you’re near a certain location. It will encourage you to visit a specific place when you’re near it, but won’t nag you about it until then.

Next time you’re on your way to get a tattoo across town, as you travel past the Albanian antique store, your nose hair clipper reminder will pop right up. You can swing by, take those puppies for a test drive, and be all set for your tattoo. Indeed, do it right, and as you’re laying on the table having Bessie the Cow etched into your upper arm, your tattoo artist might look down and say, “Wow! You have the most neatly groomed nose hair of any clients I've seen this week.” You’ve become a semi-celebrity, and all thanks to a location-based reminder.

We can also use location-based reminders for daily errands that depend on location. My grocery store is between the subway stop and my home. When we’re running short on a critical staple, like matzoh or saffron, a location-based reminder set to go off near the grocery store is a perfect trigger. Next time I walk home, deep in thought, my reminder will tell me when it’s the perfect time to pop in to shop. You can even set a general location-based reminder for the supermarket, and in the notes section, write your full grocery list. So as soon as you walk into the store, your shopping list will show up onscreen.

Use location-based reminders for clean-up after a trip

Location-based reminders can be handy when traveling, because you know that certain tasks are done in certain locations. Before traveling, I take my local subway pass, frequent eater cards, and access cards for the local nuclear reactor, and hide them somewhere in my house so they don’t get lost. Then I set a location-based reminder for when I get back to the house, to remind me where I put them, so they can go back in my wallet before a wild night on the town. Nobody likes the embarrassment of being unable to get into the nuclear reactor on a Saturday night.

Keep in mind that location-based reminders only work when your phone’s GPS is enabled. So if you plan to rely on location-based reminders—as I do when I put my ID cards in their hands—make sure you turn that on.

Use future reminders for future obligations

Sometimes we need to set reminders for ourselves, but they’ll be totally irrelevant until the far-flung future. It doesn’t make sense to make a handwritten note for something that needs to be done in six months. But we can tell our future selves to make that note, using a future reminder in a to-do list app.

Say you need to get your parent a gift for Parent’s Day, but you don’t want to worry about it until June. If you put a future reminder for June 1st, you’ll know when to start worrying, so you can really indulge yourself in the stress and anxiety we all feel when pressured to show our feelings to someone we love. 

Bernice has a reminder set for January 2024, to remind herself to buy restraining straps for the Audrey IIs before the next solar eclipse. She can just set it and forget it, feeling secure in the knowledge that when the time comes, so will the reminder. And then, the restraining straps.

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Use future reminders for postponing, responsibly

Sometimes our regularly scheduled lives are interrupted by a burst water pipe, or an alien invasion, and we’re forced to put whatever we’re doing (or want to do) on hold. Future reminders can help us make sure we don’t forget about the things we need to do after we put them down.

Let’s say you’re throwing a super-bowl party and you clean up fast by stuffing all your receipts in a paper bag behind the couch. You’re pretty sure you’ll remember where you put them. Maybe.

Then at the start of halftime, aliens invade, you rush out and single-handedly conquer them with a ray gun you build and power from the local nuclear reactor. (I told you that key card would come in handy.) And you get back in time for the second half of the game. 

Normally, with this much distraction, you’d forget all about the receipts. But if you just set a future reminder for after the big game to rescue receipts from behind the couch, you won't have to worry about the consequences of your "cleanliness."

Settle back, securely knowing that you can set reminders based on location, time, and date.

Use future reminders to follow up

You can also use future reminders for followup. You go to a conference and bring home dozens of business cards, most of which you never touch again. Instead, when you actually do want to follow up with someone, make a future reminder for the day after the conference to send that person a follow-up email.

In the notes section of the reminder, write a reminder of who they are, and anything you’ll want to mention in your email. What you spoke about, common interests, and how you think you can help each other. In a reminder program that handles attachment, you can even snap a photo of their business card.

The next day, your phone will remind you to reach out to the person, and you’ll have everything you need to make your message personal and relevant. They’ll be so impressed, they’ll propose. But be very careful before you accept. Anyone who proposes on the basis of a single interaction isn’t demonstrating careful judgment.

Use future reminders for wrapping something up

You can also use future reminders to keep details from falling through the cracks. I sometimes ask people for help choosing headshots, and put up a bunch on Google Photos so my people have access. (I love having “people.” If you don’t have “people,” I highly recommend getting some.) But those headshots shouldn’t be floating around the internet once the selection is done. A simple reminder, set for two weeks in the future, will remind me to take them down. Now, if only my neighbors would follow this advice with their holiday decorations. It’s August.

Modern day reminders have come to your rescue! Take a deep breath (much easier, now that you have your Albanian nose clippers, courtesy of a location-based reminder). Now settle back, securely knowing that you can set reminders based on location, time, and date. You can have your phone tell you when you’re in the area to do a non-urgent errand that you’ve been meaning to do. You can reduce interruptions during a trip by scheduling delayed trip cleanup actions. When you stash something in a temporary hiding place, a delayed reminder can save you when it’s time to find it again. And when starting a project, a delayed reminder can be the best at making sure you clean up all the loose ends when they’re no longer needed. Note to self for next time I’m near the hardware store: buy a dustpan. I’m getting hair clippings everywhere.

I’m Stever Robbins. Follow GetItDoneGuy on Twitter and Facebook. I coach executives in leadership, general management, and communication skills. If you want to know more, visit http://ift.tt/1l2uWN6.

Image of a string tied around a finger © Shutterstock

Could Artificial Wombs Be a Reality?

Ectogenesis, that is the gestation outside of a biological womb, sounds like science fiction. But one of the top stories of 2017 was the success of one group in making artificial wombs a reality—at least for lamb fetuses in later stages of their gestation.

The science is in large part motivated by the high, and steadily rising, number of babies born preterm or before 37 weeks of gestation. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one in ten babies are born prematurely in the United States. According to the World Health Organization, that same statistic is true globally, and the United States is one of the ten countries with the highest number of preterm births (although not the highest rate). Premature births can be caused by infection, placenta problems, or genetic problems, but often the cause is not known.

Critically or extremely preterm babies, those born before 28 weeks of gestation, have survival rates that are highly dependent on income levels. In the United States, preterm births have been linked to 17% of infant deaths in recent years, while those babies that do survive have a high likelihood of major complications like cerebral palsy, breathing problems, vision problems, and developmental delays.

But what if babies born prematurely, instead of having to fight for life before they are fully equipped to do so, could be put into an artificial womb-like environment to complete their gestation?

Earlier this year, a group of scientists led by Dr. Alan Flake at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia were able to support the gestation of fetal lambs that were around 100 to 120 days in their gestation for up to four weeks in an artificial womb. Since lamb pregnancies are shorter than human pregnancies, these fetal lambs were developmentally equivalent to a human fetus at around 22 to 24 weeks of gestation.

What is an Artificial Womb?

The fetal lambs were placed in what the scientists call a “biobag” of regularly replenished synthetic amniotic fluid. They were connected through their umbilical cords to a life support machine outside of the bag that acted like the mother’s placenta by providing the fetus with nutrition and oxygen while also removing carbon dioxide. The artificial wombs were placed in a dark, warm room where sounds of a mother’s heart beat played.

The artificial womb environment can improve on the more standard incubator because less stress is put on the fetal heart and lungs than when pumps are used to circulate the blood and ventilators are used to force air into the lungs. The sealed environment of the artificial womb can also help keep out infections.

After leaving the artificial wombs, the lambs were observed to have normal growth, lung maturation, and brain maturation. At least one lamb was already one year old at the time the study was published.

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Why Are Artificial Wombs Controversial?

The benefits of providing babies born prematurely the opportunity to continue their gestation in a safe and healthy environment that as closely resembles a biological womb are clear. However, extending the artificial womb beyond this purpose raises important questions about how we will have to update our laws and medical ethics standards to keep up with the technology.

For example, if gestation can be done entirely or even mostly outside of a biological womb, this technology could open up options to anyone looking for reproductive assistance, including infertile couples, older people, or transgender people. Artificial wombs could provide environments free of medication or drugs and fine-tuned to specific temperatures, sounds, movement, and balanced diets. Pregnancy is also inherently risky and a more equitable division of parenting roles that could be inspired by gestation outside of a uterus sounds intriguing.

But who is to say what womb environments are “ideal”? Anyone who has been pregnant knows very well that there are far more unknowns than there are certainties as far as the impacts of different factors—anything from prescription medications to types of exercise—on a fetus, most likely due to the complicated ethics of performing any tests on pregnant people. There are bound to be possible microbial benefits, for example, not reproduced in the artificial womb.

Even more complicated questions raised by artificial wombs include who would control the technology?

Even more complicated questions raised by artificial wombs include who would control the technology? Who decides how they are used and for whom? And what does extending gestation outside of the body mean for abortion laws that are linked to fetal viability?

Although it does not hurt to start asking these questions, the reality of complete ectogenesis still remains very far off, if not impossible. Fetal lambs are known to be somewhat similar in their development stages to human fetuses, but the so-called biobags used in the lamb study would require significant adaptations to be suitable for human fetuses. The earliest stages of fetal development are also extremely complicated and still not entirely understood, so extending this technology to even earlier stages of gestation is even more an idea for the distant future.

Dr. Flake noted as much in a press conference announcing their results. He said, “The reality is that at the present time there’s no technology on the horizon. There’s nothing but the mother that’s able to support that period of time.”

Another exciting advancement in the science of birth this year was the birth of the first baby in the United States from a transplanted uterus. (Eight such babies have been born in Sweden since 2014.) Such transplants are usually intended as a temporary addition, as a way of facilitating childbirth before being removed. Such advancements provide important options for would-be parents when more traditional methods fail. We just have to continue to talk about their societal impacts so that our response to such advancements keeps pace with the science.

Until next time, this is Sabrina Stierwalt with Everyday Einstein’s Quick and Dirty Tips for helping you make sense of science. You can become a fan of Everyday Einstein on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, where I’m @QDTeinstein. If you have a question that you’d like to see on a future episode, send me an email at everydayeinstein@quickanddirtytips.com.

Image of womb © shutterstock.

5 Gifts to Share in 2018 (That Won't Cost You a Dime)

Gift giving has been around for centuries. From the days of primitive cavemen straight through to today’s cutting-edge millennials, the art of gift giving may have evolved in terms of the sheer volume of gifts we give each other, but the overall sentiment to express love, affection, and say thanks has remained the same. Gifts help to connect us as well as show a token symbol of the relationship between giver and receiver.    

In today’s consumer-driven world that continuously touts the must-have technology, sleek beauty products, designer-label fashions, sexy automobiles, and high-end home goods, gift giving can end up being overwhelming, ridiculously expensive, and many times even impersonal.

As the holiday season winds down and we catch our breath and gear up for a fresh new year, here are five gifts that won’t cost you a dime but can make the richest difference in the lives of those who you give them to.

5 Gifts of Value for Your Family

1. Spend Uninterrupted Time with One Another
2. Be More Patient
3. Break Bread Together
4. Gift a New Tradition
5. Get Organized

Here they are in more detail.

1. Spend Uninterrupted Time with One Another

Most families are totally crazed with schedules that are nearly impossible to meet. Between sports, after-school activities, part-time jobs, playdates, birthday parties, work obligations and the everyday logistics of life, we continue to scramble to keep it all going. As the mom of eight kids who are either married, out of or in college, or still living at home win high school and middle school, raising your kids goes by in the blink of an eye! The one regret I don’t have is when I push other obligations aside so that I can spend time with them.

When you’re reflecting on the year gone past and how you might be able to strengthen your family this year, take a look at how much time you actually spend with your kids and your partner, time that is just for them without the usual interruption of answering texts and e-mails, zoning out with an entertainment series, or just hurriedly connecting in the car back and forth to practices and other activities. Even if you have to schedule this kind of dedicated family time on your calendar, do it!

I have been scheduling “kid dates” for years now. I find times that I can spend alone with each of my kids, even if it’s a ride to school where we stop for a bagel along the way. Other times it’s a larger chunk of time like a Saturday afternoon trip to the movies and their favorite pizza place. It doesn’t have to be out of the house either. Hanging out after dinner with no distractions like cell phones or laptops and just being available if anyone in the family needs a shoulder to lean on or a friendly ear to run something by is equally as valuable.  

2. Be More Patient

They say patience is a virtue and for good reason. Today’s parents are faced with a variety of challenges due to our very hectic lifestyles. When we have to shuttle our kids to all their stops, figure out what to have for dinner, make sure the pets are fed, meet our own work deadlines, and check in on our aging parents, it’s no surprise that we snap at our kids or spouse when they throw another request our way. Our family members certainly don’t want to be walking on egg shells around our short fuse, and I know when I have moments where I lash out at someone I love, I feel worse than they do.

The gift of patience, all year long, is something I continually strive for as not only a busy mom, but also in my working and personal life. In my episode on ways to be a more patient parent I offer a handful of ways you can incorporate patience into your everyday life. My favorite tip in that segment is “Practice Patience Daily.” Patience is definitely something that takes practice. Like any habit, you need to work on it consistently so that it becomes a part of your everyday life.  Find a mantra for yourself that you can recite when you feel yourself getting edgy. Mine has always been, “This Too Shall Pass.” My most trying time of the day when my kids were younger was the hour before dinner. They seemed to be extra whiney and needy at that time of the day, and that was when I was tired from a long day at home with lots of toddlers and young pre-schoolers. I really focused on not losing my cool during this time each day and rewarded myself with something as simple as reading my favorite magazine quietly and alone right before I served dinner to my hungry troops.

I recommend that when you do catch yourself practicing a bit more patience, pat yourself on the back and realize that you can continue this and instead of reacting with anger, teach yourself to react with love and laughter. You’ll feel better about how you interact with your kids, even when they’re getting on your nerves, and at the same time, you’ll be teaching your kids this valuable practice for themselves. 

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3. Break Bread Together

I’ve long been a fan of sharing as many family meals together as possible. Even if you can’t break bread together five nights a week, committing to enjoying regular family meals (it can be breakfast or even dessert) is a healthy gift for all of you. When a family sits down together, it helps them handle the stresses of daily life and the hassles of day-to-day existence. It’s a time for everyone to connect, and you needn’t fuss over a five-course meal—casseroles, lasagna, a hearty soup with salad—it gives everyone a chance to get centered, be together, and regroup before a hectic night of homework or other activities.

See Also: 5 Tips to Make Family Meal Planning Easier

4. Gift a New Tradition

The holidays are the time of traditions, especially if families have handed them down from generation to generation. It’s an easy time of year to embrace things like baking your great grandmother’s Christmas gingerbread cookies, lighting the menorah that’s been in the family for decades, or serving Aunt Edna’s famous sage stuffing.

Traditions can be big or small, but they differ from routines and habits in that they are done with a specific purpose in mind and require thought to make them special. If your family is rich in traditions, that’s great, continue to enjoy those and they’ll most likely be passed along to your own kids. If not, start the new year off by thinking about a new tradition you can start adding in to your family’s life, and it doesn’t have to be a holiday tradition. In my previous episode on ways to create family traditions, I discuss creating everyday rituals. There are many things you do daily that, if done consistently, can become cherished rituals that your kids will lovingly pass onto their own children. This can be bedtime related, or an after-school routine that can be comforting to your kids before they start up with homework, or even popcorn and movies every Friday night.  

See Also:  6 Ways to Create a Happier Family Life

5. Get Organized

I’ve saved the best for last, and this gift is one you can start at any time of the year, but is obviously the choice of many for a New Year’s resolution—get organized. When people ask me how I’ve kept my sanity while raising eight kids so close in age, I have two answers—routines and being organized. (If you include wine, make it three!)

An organized home is a happy home! There have been many studies done about the benefits, both physically and mentally, of being organized. One study sited in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin explains that women who live in a home that is cluttered along with endless projects that never seem to get completed experience far more stress and depression than women who have their house in order, resulting in a calming, more peaceful existence.

I’m in total agreement with that study! When you have an organized environment in which to raise your family, you can simply breathe easier, especially when a crisis hits or you’re always running from one errand and activity to another. It not only makes you feel more calm when your home is organized, but when you’re rushed to find something, in an organized home you can put your hands right on it.

Getting organized can be a family affair and teaches your kids a wonderful, lifelong habit if they participate and learn to take care of their own things as well.

What meaningful gifts will you share with your family this year? Share your thoughts in the comments section at http://ift.tt/1zMEe2L, post your ideas on the Mighty Mommy Facebook page. or email me at mommy@quickanddirtytips.com. Visit my family-friendly boards at http://ift.tt/1wyJKr5

Image of Family Time © Shutterstock

4 Simple Reasons Resolutions Fail (and Why Yours Won't)

January 1st sparkles with good intentions: this will be the year we finally get in shape, get serious about love or our career, or get our life together. But too often, the spark fizzles faster than a Fourth of July fireworks display and most of us are using that new bosu ball to help reach the donuts at the top of the kitchen cabinet. So how to keep your light burning brightly through January and beyond? It may be easier than you think. This week, we’ll tackle the four most common reasons resolutions fail and give you the keys to success.

The 4 Most Common Resolution Roadblocks

1. Resolution Roadblock #1: A grand but vague goal.
2. Resolution Roadblock #2: Fitting in a new habit.
3. Resolution Roadblock #3: Your resolution sucks.
4. Resolution Roadblock #4: You start out gangbusters and then give up.

Let's explore each a little further. 

Resolution Roadblock #1: A grand but vague goal.

The problem: Starry-eyed resolutions like “lose weight,” “get organized,” “live life to the fullest,” or everybody’s favorite catch-all “get healthy,” all have a fatal flaw. What exactly? They’re vague, which gives them all the credibility of, “We should get together sometime,” or worse, “I’ll call you.”

The fix: Be specific. You’ll know your resolution is specific enough if you can check it off on a list. For example, instead of “get healthy,” try “Eat fewer than 25 grams of sugar a day,” or “Eat vegetables at every meal,” or “Go to that 7 AM yoga class every Thursday.”

Quantification is often the key to specificity: that means defining a specific number of pounds to lose, number of times a week you’ll work out, or what distance you’ll run.

Resolution Roadblock #2: Fitting in a new habit.

The problem: A resolution to take on a new activity, like volunteering, spending more time with your family, reading more, or learning French or the ukulele, is often doomed from the start. Why? Because changing your habits (and accompanying schedule) is surprisingly hard. Problems abound: finding the time, remembering to do it, and maintaining the habit.

And it’s more complicated than just being set in our ways. Many of us spend our days running around the bases so fast we’re lucky if we touch them all. Adding another base to touch, even if it’s just five minutes of meditation every morning, much less two hours of volunteering once a week or 30 minutes of reading before bed, magically morphs the resolution from a feel-good goal into a giant hassle.

The fix: Automate it. Habit change works best when it’s linked to another habit. For example, if you’re aiming to meditate daily, link it to something else you do every day. Try meditating while your coffee brews, or right after brushing your teeth. Likewise, if you want to start a new gym habit, don’t sign up at a fancy place that’s a half-hour drive away—you’ll never go, no matter how awesome the rock climbing wall or how delicious the smoothie bar. Instead, choose a place between work and home, link working out to your commute, and a few weeks into 2018, after everyone else’s resolutions peter out, you’ll still be going strong.

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Resolution Roadblock #3: Your resolution sucks.

The problem: It's not fun. Whatever you’re doing—cutting out your favorite foods to lose weight, forcing yourself to do exercise you hate, sacrificing big and small pleasures to save money—is no picnic. It takes a lot of effort, it’s not rewarding, or both. You’re grinding your way through and, after a few weeks, start to wonder why you ever thought this was a good idea.

You need more than sheer force of will to sustain lasting change. As a behavioral psychologist, I really believe that behaviors persist because they’re reinforced. You need to get something out of your resolution: enjoyment, satisfaction, pride, even just avoiding something unpleasant. You’re not a rat pushing a lever to get food pellets, but you do need some kind of reward.

The fix: Make sure you’re getting something out of it. Sometimes simply tracking your success can be a reward—watching a row of checkmarks grow on a calendar can be motivating. Colloquially known as “don’t break the chain,” building an unbroken run of daily salad-eating, money-saving, or getting to bed before midnight can crank your motivation because the stakes get higher as you rack up the days.

Another alternative is to build in a more immediate reward. Dr. Katherine Milkman is a Wharton professor who coined the term “temptation bundling,” which involves pairing a “should,” like a resolution, with a “want” as a reward. For instance, decide that you can only listen to that racy romance audiobook when you’re on the treadmill. Or treat yourself to that peppermint mocha only when you’re polishing your resume and writing cover letters to finally switch jobs.

Changing habits is a lot of work—you have to figure out the logistics, endure discomfort, and feel incompetent at first—so make sure to build in rewards, especially at the outset.

Changing habits is a lot of work, so make sure to build in rewards, especially at the outset.

Resolution Roadblock #4: You start out gangbusters and then give up.

The problem: You go all out for awhile, but then your willpower (not to mention your interest) fades and life gets in the way. Before you know it you’re using your new treadmill to hang-dry laundry.

The fix: Go easy on the perfectionism. While don’t-break-the-chain consistency can be motivating, don’t make breaking it a tragedy. Just begin again. With few exceptions (like joining AA or taking birth control) a healthy habit doesn’t have to be perfectly consistent. It can exist in fits and starts. For example, according to the American Cancer Society, the average smoker tries to quit 8-10 times before finally succeeding in being smoke-free for a year. After all, in the long run, success isn’t achieved by maintaining your new habit perfectly, it’s achieved by minimizing the downtime between inevitable setbacks.

No matter your roadblock, consider building the roadblock into your resolution. Use a method originated by Dr. Gabrielle Oettingen of NYU called mental contrasting, the steps of which make the nifty acronym WOOP: wish, outcome, obstacle, plan.

To try it, first make a wish (this means your resolution, not an actual wish like being invisible or able to fly). Then visualize the outcome. What benefits would you enjoy? If you’re trying to get fit, picture your clothes fitting better, having more energy, or being able to wrestle with your kids without getting winded. But then—and this is key—picture an obstacle. Visualize not having time to get to the gym, being too tired, or having life get in the way. What will you do? Make a plan to overcome the obstacle and you’ve WOOP-ed your way closer to your goal.

To wrap up, specify your resolution, make it as brainless as possible by automating it, make sure you’re getting something out of it, and simply begin again without drama or self-criticism when you find yourself dusting donut crumbs off that bosu ball. Remember, zero judgment.

Pre-order Ellen's forthcoming book HOW TO BE YOURSELF: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety. Get even more savvy tips to be happier and healthier by subscribing to the podcast on iTunes or Stitcher, or get each episode delivered straight to your inbox by signing up for the newsletter. Follow on Facebook and Twitter.

For free, helpful downloads to fight social anxiety and be your authentic self, visit EllenHendriksen.com.

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5 Sports Idioms: From 'Jump the Gun' to 'Slam Dunk'

Are you a fan of sports and leisure activities? Some people enjoy baseball but not fishing. Others might like basketball more than track and field. But no matter what sport or leisure activity you prefer, chances are, there’s an English idiom that originates from it. This week, we’ll get you into an active frame of mind as you learn about five idioms from five different sporty activities.

1. Track and Field—'Jump the Gun'

First up is track and field. This sport encompasses a wide variety of physical activities, including high jump, shotput, and pole vault. Athletes perform these amazing feats on the field. And on the track are the ones who run, and running is the source of the first idiom in the list. Can you guess what phrase that is? Think about what might happen to runners if they begin sprinting before the signal goes off. This action is called jumping the gun and might lead to disqualification. 

To “jump the gun” in a figurative sense means to act hastily or prematurely, and the expression has been used in this sense since the 1940s. You might hear the phrase used in a sentence like “Allie jumped the gun and regretted investing too much money before learning the ins and outs of the stock market.” Interestingly, the phrase “jump the gun” took the place of an earlier phrase from about 1900, “beat the pistol.”

2. Baseball—'In the Ballpark'

Now, let’s play baseball. The first official baseball game was played in New Jersey in 1846. Obviously, baseball is played in a ballpark. If you are “in the ballpark” in a figurative sense, however, you are talking about an approximation or educated guess that is within reasonable limits. According to Dictionary.com, this phrase is an Americanism dating to the late 1800s or early 1900s—somewhere in that ballpark. The Online Etymology Dictionary, on the other hand, states that “in the ballpark” originated in 1954 as jargon first used by atomic weapons scientists to refer to the expected area where a missile might land. 

Regardless of exactly when the phrase came into being, it is widely used today. Let’s say that Jim is guessing Bob’s age, but Bob doesn’t want to tell Jim the exact number. Thirty-year-old Bob could say that Jim is “in the ballpark” if Jim guesses “late 20s.” You might also hear “ballpark” used as an adjective, as in “I’m not sure how much Daisy owes me, but the ballpark amount is $100.”

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3. Basketball—'Slam Dunk'

Another ballgame that is the origin of an interesting phrase is basketball, invented in 1891 by Dr. James Naismith. Back then, the game was different than it is now. For example, at first, players used a soccer ball, and the nets were peach baskets that still had their bottoms. In addition, dribbling wasn’t part of the game, and neither were slam dunks, shots that are forcefully put into the basket. The person first credited with a slam dunk is a 7-foot-tall player from Oklahoma A&M, Bob Kurland, who accomplished this in 1944 against Temple University. Kurland later called it “an unintentional accident.” (Aren’t all accidents unintentional? But that’s a topic for another day.)

Nowadays, the phrase “slam dunk” is used to mean something certain to be accomplished. It is usually used as a noun, as in “Getting the customer to sign up for another year of service was a slam dunk.” In other words, it was very easy to do. “Slam dunk” can also be used as a compound adjective with a hyphen, as in “a slam-dunk success.”

4. Fishing—'Hook, Line, and Sinker'

Have we hooked you yet with sports-related phrases? If not, you might enjoy this fishing-related idiom. Someone who falls for something “hook, line, and sinker” believes it completely and totally. This phrase has been used to mean “to a great degree” since about 1865. Apparently, fish sometimes swallow more than just the bait. They might gobble up everything but the fishing pole: There’s the hook, which holds the bait; there’s the line, which joins the hook to the fishing pole; and there’s the sinker, a leaded weight that makes a fishing line go below the water’s surface. If you’re a fish or a gullible person, watch out for those hooks, lines, and sinkers!

5. Rifling—'In the Cross Hairs'

Last up is a phrase that comes from rifling, which involves the use of targets. People taking aim at something far away use optical devices that have cross hairs to center the target. Likewise, it can be said that people who attack and criticize others have their victims “in the cross hairs.” Believe it or not, originally cross hairs on instruments such as telescopes and micrometers were made from spiderwebs. In fact, starting in the early 1800s, before they were called cross hairs, these lines were also called “spider-lines.” 

In both the literal and figurative cases, “cross hairs” is usually two words, but it can be one word. According to Merriam-Webster, the first known use of crosshairs was in 1884.

Conclusion

In this episode, we’ve enjoyed all kinds of fun activities, including running and fishing. It’s time to take a rest!

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.

That segment was written by Bonnie Mills, the author of The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier, who blog at sentencesleuth.blogspot.com.

How to Pronounce 'Caramel'

Jeffrey wrote in after he noticed that I pronounced “caramel” as “car-muhl” a few weeks ago, and that sounded wrong to him.

The Harvard Dialect Survey found that the three-syllable pronunciation (car-a-mel) is dominant all along the east coast of the United States, from Maine to Florida and extending into the south, through Atlanta, Mississippi, Louisiana, and parts of Texas. Jeffrey, it turns out, was born and raised in New York, which explains why “car-a-mel” is the way he’s used to hearing it. 

My parents are from the midwest, I grew up in Seattle, and I’ve lived in the west my whole life; and I rarely recall hearing anyone pronounce it “car-a-mel,” although the Harvard Dialect Survey maps show that there are some people here who pronounce it that way. 

The most memorable thing for me is caramel apples, which has a melodic sound with both words having two syllables: “caramel apples.” I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone call them “car-a-mel apples.”

Garner’s Modern American Usage acknowledges three pronunciations for the word, saying “ker-a-mel” is best, “kar-a-mel” is second best, and “car-mel” is worst, although he doesn’t give a reason for his ranking. 

I’ll concede that the three-syllable pronunciations better reflect the spelling of the word: C-A-R-A-M-E-L. But many words aren’t pronounced exactly like they are spelled, as we learned in the “worcestershire” episode a few months ago. There are even other three-syllable words in which the middle syllable is often dropped such as “interesting,” which is often pronounced “intresting,” and “laboratory,” which is often pronounced “labratory.”

I’ll also concede that I feel a little bit defensive about the “carmel” pronunciation, given that it’s all I heard growing up, and seems to be the common pronunciation in my region and—depending on which maps you look at—in the majority of the United States, and then it feels like people are just decreeing for no reason that one pronunciation is “better” than the others. 

But no matter how you pronounce it, the correct spelling is C-A-R-A-M-E-L. Sometimes people spell it without the A in the middle based on the “carmel” pronunciation, and that spelling is wrong. 

While we’re on the topic, I’ve always wondered what the difference is between caramel and butterscotch, so I looked it up. The biggest difference between the two is that caramel is made with white granulated sugar and butterscotch is made with brown sugar. 

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.

Mignon Fogarty is Grammar Girl and the founder of Quick and Dirty Tips. Check out her New York Times best-seller “Grammar Girl’s Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing” and her 2018 tip-a-day calendar.

How to Treat Insomnia: 7 Common Medication Options

In last week's episode, How to Treat Insomnia: 10 Medication-Free Tips, I discussed the 8 most common potential causes of insomnia. These include Restless Legs Syndrome, sleep apnea, certain medications, other medical conditions, and so forth.

Be sure to check out that episode to learn about the conditions that can interfere with a good night’s sleep.  I also discussed my top 10 tips to treat your insomnia without medication.

However, if you and your doctor have ruled out various health conditions that can be causing or exacerbating your insomnia, if ou’ve attempted at least a few relaxation techniques at bedtime, and you’ve truly implemented the changes discussed in my prior episode but are still having difficulty functioning during the daytime as a result of your lack of sleep, then it may be time to consider medication treatment options. 

But which ones?  There are numerous options and you may need some help deciding.  Let’s compare and contrast them today so you can be armed with as much information as possible before your next doctor's appointment.

Sponsor: This episode is brought to you by the audiobook edition of Resistant by Michael Palmer. In this heart-stopping medical thriller, Dr. Lou Welcome is faced with a serious epidemic and the sinister group behind it. Listen to an excerpt at http://ift.tt/28RNIWB.

Before we begin, it’s important to note that many of these sleep aids are habit forming.  And what's more, even taking over-the-counter drugs or those without an inherent addictive potential can still interfere with your body and brain’s natural sleep-wake cycles and become habit forming in and of themselves. 

For instance, taking Benadryl at night may not be “addicting” per se, but having to train your body and brain to rely on taking a drug to sleep every single night can still be habit forming.  It may seem “easier” to just pop a pill every night since that really takes little effort in comparison to actively making lifestyle and behavioral changes, but you may be cheating yourself out of a healthier mind and body in the long run.

7 Insomnia Medication Treatment Options

Having said that, let’s move on and learn about 7 of the most commonly used drugs to treat insomnia available on the market in the United States:

1. Antihistamines:  Diphenhydramine (generic for Benadryl) is a drug that blocks histamine, a chemical that plays a role in our immune system during allergic reactions.  As a side effect, it tends to cause drowsiness and is a common drug patients use to treat insomnia.  It’s also over-the-counter and the main ingredient in the over-the-counter drugs marketed for treating insomnia - which means it doesn't require the time, cost, and effort it takes to visit your doctor.  However, it can cause some undesirable side effects, such as residual drowsiness in the morning, blurry vision, dry mouth, and problems with urination (most especially in the elderly).

2. Melatonin:  This is an over-the-counter dietary supplement that is not FDA approved and should be used with caution.  Melatonin is a hormone in our bodies that regulates our circadian rhythms - our innate sleep/wake schedules.  Studies show a possible benefit in a small subset of insomniacs (typically those who are awake at nights and asleep during the days, referred to as “shift work” insomnia), but is recommended for no longer than 3 months.

3. Ramelteon:  This is a prescription drug that is approved in the U.S. (not currently in Europe) to treat insomnia by working on the melatonin system.  Side effects are more tolerable and it is not shown to be habit-forming.  Since it’s filtered through the liver, caution is advised in those with liver disease.  Its main drawback is cost.

4. Doxepin:  This is the one antidepressant that is currently FDA approved for insomnia treatment.  The benefit:  like Ramelteon it’s not habit-forming. And if you suffer from depression as well, then you can tackle both medical conditions with the same pill.

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5. Trazodone:  Trazodone is another antidepressant that is no longer used as a first-line drug for depression due its main side effect…drowsiness.  Therefore, it is now more commonly prescribed as off-label use for insomnia, again because of its non-habit-forming nature.  Also, it may be more useful if there is also depression present alongside the insomnia.

6. Benzodiazepines:  This is an old group of drugs that was initially created as a tranquilizer for anxiety and has also been used for the treatment of insomnia.  Examples include lorazepam and tempazepam.  However, they are highly habit-forming and not recommended for long-term treatment or frequent use for insomnia.

7. Zolpidem, zaleplon, and eszopiclone:  A commonly prescribed drug that works by binding to the same receptors in the brain as the benzodiazepines and mimicking its effects, and therefore, can also be habit-forming.  There have been reports of hallucinations, sleep walking, and increased risk of pneumonia and other infections in those who routinely take this drug.  If using this class of drugs, you should opt for the lowest possible dose and with the least frequency as possible.

Insomnia Precautions

There are 3 important points to keep in mind when being treated for insomnia:

1. Elderly:  Many of these drugs are considered unsafe for people aged 65 and older, as they tend to cause over-sedation and place patients at an increased risk of falls, hip fractures, delirium, confusion, memory loss, and overdose.  This is because as we age our bodies tend to metabolize drugs less efficiently and the effects of the metabolites tend to linger much longer.  Make sure to review this list with your doctor to see what is the safest solution for you.

2. What to avoid:  In addition, please never drink alcohol when taking medication for your insomnia. Also, don't combine insomnia medication with other sedating drugs and/or drive when using these medications, whether over-the-counter or not.

3. Sleep apnea:  if you suffer from sleep apnea, be careful when selecting a sleep aid as it can worsen your condition.

If you still are struggling with insomnia, one option is to ask your doctor for a referral to a sleep disorder clinic with a sleep specialist who can monitor your sleep cycle and suggest potential treatments. 

Share your insomnia ideas and learn more quick and dirty tips with us on the House Call Doctor’s Facebook and Twitter pages!  You can even find me on Pinterest!

Please note that all content here is strictly for informational purposes only.  This content does not substitute any medical advice, and does not replace any medical judgment or reasoning by your own personal health provider.  Please always seek a licensed physician in your area regarding all health related questions and issues.

Young woman suffering from insomnia image courtesy of Shutterstock.

5+ Cute, Creative Gift-wrapping Tips for the Holidays

The way we wrap and present our packages can be just as much fun as buying the gifts themselves.

Here are several clever and festive wrapping ideas for all your gift-giving needs.

1. Hands On Gift Wrap—great fun for kids.

Little boys love matchbox cars, so wrap his gift in brown Kraft paper, then draw a pretend road (or make one out of black construction paper) on the package and affix several matchbox cars on the road with double-sided tape. You can do something similar for little girls. Select a shiny, colorful, solid, wrapping paper and tie the package with a jump rope, or tie hair accessories or dress-up jewelry to the bow. For the budding artists on your list, wrap the gift in plain white paper and tape crayons or markers to the outside of the package so they can decorate their gift before they tear into it. 

2. Gifts With a Message Keeps Them Guessing.

Kraft paper can be a wrapper’s best friend because of the wide variety and durability factors. Choose black and you can decorate the package with a message written in chalk. If you want to keep them guessing about what might be waiting inside the box, leave a written clue.

3. Get Flowery.

Cupcake liners come in all shapes, sizes and colors and when arranged one inside of another, you can create beautiful flowers to top your packages. Check out this YouTube demonstration for easy instructions.

4. Personalize with Photos.

Take advantage of all the fantastic photos you have tucked away and either make photocopies of them and adhere with a glue stick to plain Kraft or any other wrapping paper that suits your fancy or tuck an original photo underneath the ribbon you’ve tied on.  

5. Go Wrapless With a Scavenger Hunt.

Forget the wrapping and, instead, hide your gift and leave clues for a scavenger hunt. This is fun for young and old alike and makes the gift that much more exciting once the recipient finally finds it.

For more ideas visit Mighty Mommy at quickanddirtytips.com.