Are New Year's Resolutions Good For You?

This week, Savvy Psychologist has something special to share. Instead of a regular episode, we're celebrating the new year with a panel of QDT expert hosts on the subject of New Year's Resolutions.

You'll hear from: 

• Dr. Monica Johnson, host of Savvy Psychologist
• Dr. Nanika Coor, host of Project Parenthood
• Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, host of Relationship Doctor
• with Mignon Fogarty, host of Grammar Girl, moderating

This discussion covers why many people believe New Year's Resolutions are outdated and unhealthy and provides helpful tips on how to avoid common missteps. You'll learn how to keep your goals reasonable and self-directed, and you'll hear about managing resolutions alongside a partner, kids, or family. 

If you’re striving to improve your mental health in the new year, you're going to love this panel. Click the red audio player above to listen. If you like what you hear, be sure to follow the other featured hosts on their respective podcasts wherever you like to listen. 

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

Listener Question Extravaganza

First is Pete.

And cool stuff?

Hi, Mignon. This is Pete from Downingtown, Pennsylvania, and I have this one particular podcast that I enjoyed listening to regularly, and at the start of every episode the podcaster says, 'We talk about writing, history, rules, and cool stuff.' Now to my ear, the way that is said suggest that the stuff that proceeded the cool stuff is not itself cool, which we all know is completely incorrect. I'm wondering about the difference between the way you say it and perhaps and 'other cool stuff.' If that makes a difference. It's not so much a grammar question as it is just the-way-things-sound-to-me kinda question. So just wanted to hear your opinion. Thanks."

Haha, thanks, Pete! You are not the only person who's made this observation, and I have to say that when I was trying to think of a catch-all phrase for the other things we talk about, it was so obvious to me that writing, history, and rules are cool, that it never occurred to me that adding "and cool stuff" to the end would imply that they aren't. But I can completely see how it could be interpreted that way. It's a little bit like a joke format I love that uses implications. They're like, "The existence of popcorn implies the existence of momcorn," and "The existence of badminton implies the existence of goodminton." I guess the inclusion of "cool stuff" implies the rest is not cool. I guess I should change the opening. Thanks.

Color Questions

"Hi, Grammar Girl. This is Carrie Ann from Phoenix, Arizona. I'm currently bingeing 'Seinfeld' for the first time ever, and in season 3, episode 19, Jerry witnesses a hit-and-run. When Elaine urges him to follow the perpetrator, he insists it's not safe, and she responds, 'What are you? Yellow?' To which Jerry takes offense and says, 'I'm not yellow,' and Elaine pushes more saying, 'Jerry, you don't follow him, you're yellow,' which led me to I wonder how such a bright, sunny color got the reputation of insinuating cowardice. And then I found myself down a colorful rabbit hole wondering how blue came to mean sad and green came mean envious. Can you help me out with this color conundrum? Thanks for all your quick and dirty tips. Bye."

Green

Tying the color green to jealousy definitely predates Shakespeare, who referred to the "green-eyed monster" in "Othello," and "green-eyed jealousy" in "The Merchant of Venice." But one source says the idea goes all the way back to the Ancient Greeks who thought that if you were sick, your body would produce too much bile, making you look green...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

How to Re-assess Your Financial Goals in 2022

This week, Money Girl has something special to share. Instead of a regular episode, we're celebrating the New Year with a panel of QDT expert hosts on the subject of New Year's resolutions.

You'll hear from:

• me, Laura Adams, host of Money Girl
• Monica Reinagel, host of Nutrition Diva
• Dr. Jonathan Su, host of Get-Fit Guy
• with Rachel Cooke, host of Modern Mentor, moderating

This episode covers everything from how to set realistic goals in 2022, what you need to be aware of when it comes to financial goals, and some of the goals we think you should set next year.

Listen via the player above, or find Money Girl on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast app.

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

Let's Talk Nutrition New Year's Resolutions

This week, Nutrition Diva has something special to share. Instead of a regular episode, we're celebrating the New Year with a panel of QDT expert hosts on the subject of New Year's resolutions.

You'll hear from:

• me, Monica Reinagel, host of Nutrition Diva
• Dr. Jonathan Su, host of Get-Fit Guy
• Laura Adams, host of Money Girl
• with Rachel Cooke, host of Modern Mentor, moderating

This episode covers everything from how to set realistic goals in 2022, what you should be aware of if you want to set a goal to lose weight, and the nutrition goals we should set for 2022. If you're looking forward to a fresh start in 2022, this is the podcast episode to listen to.

Listen via the player above, or find Nutrition Diva on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast app.

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

How to Set and Achieve Your New Year’s Resolutions

This week, Modern Mentor has something special to share. Instead of a regular episode, we're celebrating the New Year with a panel of QDT expert hosts on the subject of New Year's resolutions.

You'll hear from:

• Monica Reinagel, host of Nutrition Diva
• Dr. Jonathan Su, host of Get-Fit Guy
• Laura Adams, host of Money Girl
• and me, Rachel Cooke, host of Modern Mentor, as your moderator

This episode covers everything from how to set realistic goals in 2022, what goals we shouldn't overlook, and nutrition, fitness, and money-specific goals for the new year.

Listen via the player above, or find Modern Mentor on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast app.

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

How to Make Smart Fitness New Year’s Resolutions

This week, Get-Fit Guy has something special to share. Instead of a regular episode, we're celebrating the new year with a panel of QDT expert hosts on the subject of New Year's resolutions.

You'll hear from:

• me, Dr. Jonathan Su, host of Get-Fit Guy
• Monica Reinagel, host of Nutrition Diva
• Laura Adams, host of Money Girl
• with Rachel Cooke, host of Modern Mentor, moderating

The episode will cover everything from how to set realistic goals in 2022, the best workouts for absolute beginners, and the fitness goals you should be setting for yourself next year. If you're looking forward to a fresh start in 2022, this is the podcast to listen to.

Listen via the player above, or find the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast app.

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

Should You Set New Year’s Resolutions with Your Partner?

This week, Relationship Doctor has something special to share. Instead of a regular episode, we're celebrating the new year with a panel of QDT expert hosts on the subject of New Year's Resolutions.

You'll hear from: 

• Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, host of Relationship Doctor
• Dr. Nanika Coor, host of Project Parenthood
• Dr. Monica Johnson, host of Savvy Psychologist
• With Mignon Fogarty, host of Grammar Girl, moderating

In their discussion, you'll learn why some people believe New Year's Resolutions are outdated and how you can overcome the urge to set toxic goals. You'll hear what to do if your goals and your partner's goals are sending you in different directions, and how to manage collaborative goal-setting without depending on someone else to make a change. 

If you’re striving to improve your relationship and find more balance with your partner in the new year, you're going to love this panel. Click the red audio player above to listen. If you like what you hear, be sure to follow the other featured hosts on their respective podcasts wherever you like to listen. 

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

How to Make New Year's Resolutions Your Family Will Keep

This week, Project Parenthood has something special to share. Instead of a regular episode, we're celebrating the new year with a panel of QDT expert hosts on the subject of New Year's Resolutions.

You'll hear from: 

• Dr. Nanika Coor, host of Project Parenthood
• Dr. Monica Johnson, host of Savvy Psychologist
• Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, host of Relationship Doctor
• With Mignon Fogarty, host of Grammar Girl, moderating

The discussion covers everything from how to set goals as part of a family to how to avoid common resolution "don'ts." You'll hear about the importance of small and independently-achievable goals, and you'll learn why some people view New Year's Resolutions as outdated and toxic. 

If you’re striving to achieve better balance in your family in the new year, you're going to love this panel. Click the red audio player above to listen. If you like what you hear, be sure to follow the other featured hosts on their respective podcasts wherever you like to listen. 

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

Compound Subjects

Today we’re discussing subjects that contain the word “and.” You generally think “plural” if you see an “and,” but that’s not always the case.

Simple singular and plural subjects

Let’s start with some sentences that have definitely singular or definitely plural subjects. The subject in “The clown is juggling” is obviously singular; one clown is doing something. “Two clowns and the ringmaster are juggling” contains an “and,” and since three people are involved, that subject is plural.

Singular compound subjects with 'and'

Now for some subjects that contain an “and” but are singular. This might sound weird at first, but you probably say such sentences every day. Take these two singular sentences: “Peanut butter and jelly is available in the cafeteria,” and “Meat and potatoes was my grandfather’s favorite meal.” In these mouth-watering sentences, the two items combine to form a single unit—one dish—and this is the crux of the matter. As Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary of English Usage explains, “When the nouns form ‘a collective idea’ or ‘a oneness of idea,’ the singular verb is appropriate.” (1) Another example is “spaghetti and meatballs”:  “Spaghetti and meatballs goes well with garlic bread.” 

"Spaghetti and meatballs" can form a single dish and be singular.

A compound subject that describes a single person

You might also find yourself referring to one person in two ways in a sentence, and if you do so, you will use a singular verb. Consider this example in which the writer is saying her husband is also her best friend: “My husband and best friend likes doing the dishes.” Although the subject “my husband and best friend” contains an “and,” the subject refers to one person. If you use a plural verb and say, “My husband and best friend like doing the dishes,” then two people are scrubbing. In this case, your husband is not your best friend.

Different and separable compound subjects

What if the ideas joined by “and” refer to more than one person or do not form one concept? Then, the sentence is plural. Noted grammarian Bryan Garner explains, “If two or more subjects joined by 'and' are different and separable, they take a plural verb.” (2) If you say, “Peanut butter and potatoes are my favorite foods,” you are listing two separate items that you like. I’ve...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

7 Tips to Avoid SADness

If you’re anything like the patients I’ve seen in my career—or many people I’ve interacted with in my life—then you might notice that your mood starts to shift as the winter approaches. The cold, the dark, the wind, the snow—it all leads to the moody blues for some of us.

Today, I’m going to talk about Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD for short. The first thing to note is that it’s not a stand-alone mental health disorder. It’s classified under mood disorders and can be attached to a depression or bipolar diagnosis. Those with a SAD pattern typically present with symptoms consistent with some form of depression and will notice a seasonal pattern to their mood disorder. The seasonal pattern is typically between fall and spring; those with SAD may notice symptoms worsen or becoming more prevalent during that time period.

Researchers are still trying to determine the cause of SAD. Some research suggests that the shorter days and lack of light may disrupt your circadian rhythms and alter your body’s production of melatonin and serotonin, which impact your mood.

Now let’s review some steps you can take to combat SAD.

1. Establish a healthy sleep schedule

SAD can affect sleep patterns; however, if you regularly maintain the same sleep routine, it will allow you to adjust better to the seasonal changes. Create a bedtime and wake time for yourself and stick to it with as little variation from that schedule as possible.

2. Exercise regularly

I hate to say it because I have a love/hate relationship with exercise, but it does help with a lot of things. It’s important to maintain a regular exercise schedule. It’s also suggested to get a few outdoor workouts under your belt to increase your exposure to sunshine. Just make sure to bundle up appropriately. As a person who lived in Minnesota for a time, I can tell you that proper clothing can make just about any temperature tolerable.

Need some tips for your fitness routine? Listen to Get-Fit Guy, a fitness podcast for beginners and experts alike.

3. Get some sun

I alluded to this a minute ago, but get some sunshine! You need vitamin D to combat the effects of SAD and nothing is better than those natural rays. Go for walks outside, leave your blinds open, or create a nice cozy space where you can read a book and get some sun. Alternatively, if there was ever an excuse to fly to a beach during the winter, this is it!

4. Eat well

Winter encourages us to eat comfort foods and you should allow yourself to have some of that during the season. However, be mindful of your diet and make sure that it is balanced with the nutrients you need. There is some research that suggests that ...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

The Santaback: An Ambiguous Figure of Speech

Here's an interesting question from Lynn.

"Hi, my name is Lynn, and I'm calling with a question about the use of an apostrophe. I'm wondering if there's a special term for the usage where an apostrophe can indicate either a contraction or a possessive form, and I have two examples of that from my own small town. A hardware store which has been there for over 50 years has a wooden sign that hangs on the front porch that says 'Today's special,' and below that is another wooden sign that says 'So is tomorrow.' And the other example is a local house that has a Christmas decoration in the form of a wooden cut-out of Santa Claus seen from behind, and it just says 'Santa's back.' I've always gotten a kick out of those usages because it always tricks you into thinking that it means either possessive or a contraction, but you can't really tell necessarily from the usage. Anyway, thanks. I enjoy reading your stuff and always look forward to it. Bye."

Thanks, Lynn! This was tougher to figure out than I expected it to be, and I turned to my language friends on Twitter for help because it turns out that there are a few different things your examples are almost like.

Garden-Path Sentences

The first one is what's called a garden-path sentence, so called because the sentence leads you down the garden path and then tricks you by ending up somewhere you didn't expect to be. It's a lot like a concept in comedy called the reverse. 

A common example of a garden-path sentence is "The old man the boat." Because "old man" is a common phrase, you think the sentence is going to be about an old man, but it's actually using "man" as a verb meaning something like "to serve as the crew": The old serve as the crew on the boat. It led you down the old-man garden path, and then switcharoo—we're talking about something else!

Your examples could fall into this category, but they don't fit exactly. In particular, a linguist named Alicia Stevers stressed that garden-path sentences have to be single sentences, and the "Today's special" signboard really feels like two sentences since the two parts are written on two different boards, and then only one interpretation of "Santa's back" is a sentence.

Crash Blossoms

A similar language trick or problem is called a crash blossom, which is a term that usually seems to be reserved for confusing headlines. The name comes from this confusing headline...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

New Year's Math Fun Facts

It's that time of year when people gather together to stay up late, make toasts, profess their well-intentioned resolutions for the next dozen months, and welcome in the New Year.

Of course, exactly when you and your friends celebrate the changing of the year is determined by precisely where you live. Which might lead you to wonder: How many different New Year's Eve countdowns are there around the world?

To answer this question, today we're going to celebrate the new year Math Dude-style by talking about the astronomical origin of time zones, their quirkiness, and some math fun facts about the changing of the year that you can share with your friends while you're waiting for midnight!

10 Creative Ideas for Your New Year’s Eve Party

What are time zones?

As you no doubt know, the time in New York is not the same as the time in Los Angeles. And the times in Tokyo, Beijing, Moscow, Baghdad, and London are all different, too. Of course, the reason is that each of these cities is located in a different time zone. And, most importantly for today, the time zone of each determines when it celebrates the new year.

But where do time zones come from in the first place? The idea is simple: Imagine you walk outside at precisely noon and notice that the Sun has just reached its highest point for the day. Being so excited by this, you call your friend who happens to live in another city that's exactly 1/24 the circumference of the Earth to your west.

Your friend notes that the Sun has yet to reach its highest point where she lives, so you decide to stay on the line and wait until that magical moment arrives. Lo and behold, exactly 1 hour later, your friend determines that the Sun has peaked in the sky. Which, you both decide, makes perfect sense since there are 24 hours in the day and she lives 1/24 x 24 hours = 1 hour away.

While we might think that this is all pretty obvious, long ago it definitely was not. People had to come to grips with the fact that the Earth is round, that it's progressively and periodically illuminated by the Sun in an east-to-west manner (due to Earth's rotation), and so on.

Eventually people realized all of this and figured out that it'd be smart to divide the Earth up into 24 one-hour time zones so that morning would be morning, afternoon would be afternoon, and evening would be evening no matter where you live. Which, I think you'll agree, is a good thing!

How many New Year's countdowns are there?

Although I said that people decided it'd be smart to divide...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

8 Tips to Encourage Productivity in Your Workplace

Productivity can be the key to your business’s success, but increasing productivity in the workplace can be daunting. As a manager, you must be careful to support employees without crossing the line into micromanaging. This delicate balance may seem difficult to achieve, but there many ways you can successfully encourage productivity.

When you want to encourage your employees to increase their productivity, you should focus on creating an environment that facilitates more effective work. These eight tips can help you establish a workplace where employee productivity soars:

Provide the right tools

To increase productivity, provide your employees with the tools they need to work smarter and faster. Collaborative tools, such as the Ooma web meetings platform, and time management tools can help your team work together and work efficiently. You should prioritize the automation of repetitive tasks so that employees can focus their attention on more important objectives.

Set clear and measurable goals

Employees that have clear goals are more likely to work productively. Goals should be well-defined and unambiguous. Your team should know exactly what is expected of them.

Time to Question Your Old Work Habits

Goals should also be measurable, and you should closely follow the progress of each one. Monitoring goals allows you to identify areas where employees may be struggling so you can provide the support they need to get on track.

Encourage feedback

A productive environment encourages feedback from all members of the team. As the manager, you should actively seek the input of your employees. They have valuable insight into their own day-to-day experience and may be able to bring potential issues to your attention before they become full-blown problems.

Get to know your employees well

Take the time to get to know your employees personally. When your team members believe that you have an interest in their lives, they will feel more motivated and inspired. Understanding your employees individually can also help you identify and capitalize on their strengths while managing any potential difficulties they may have. It can help you determine who will work best together, as well as who may be ready for more responsibility.

Celebrate accomplishments

Acknowledging and celebrating your employees’ successes demonstrates that you value their contributions to the team. It also underscores the standards that you want employees to live up...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

5 Retirement Account Changes for 2022 You Should Know

Every year, the U.S. Treasury evaluates what's happening with inflation in the economy. Based on that data, the IRS must make changes to various regulations. Fortunately, many upcoming adjustments can help you save more for retirement. 

So, whether you're looking for ways to fight inflation or get the most from your retirement accounts, that's what this post will cover. I'll review five retirement account changes coming in 2022, so you can use them to your advantage.

5 Retirement Account Changes to Expect in 2022

1. Higher contribution limits for workplace plans.
2. Higher income limits for traditional IRA deductible contributions.
3. Higher income limits for Roth IRA eligibility. 
4. Higher income limits for the Saver's Credit.
5. Higher contribution limits for retirement accounts for the self-employed.

Here are the details on how you can use the new retirement account changes to max out your contributions and pay less tax.

1. Higher contribution limits for workplace plans.

Starting in 2022, if your employer offers a workplace retirement plan, such as a 401(k) or 403(b), the base amount you can contribute increases from $19,500 to $20,500. The same adjustment applies to most 457 and Thrift Savings Plans (TSPs) if you work for the federal or local government.

So, make a goal to max out your retirement plan by updating your contribution percentage or dollar amount per pay period. You can make changes to your plan at any time during the year. In most cases, you can set a higher contribution rate to begin at a particular time, such as on January 1 each year.

...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

Will Using Artificial Sweeteners During Pregnancy Affect Your Kid’s Weight?

There's more bad news for manufacturers (and defenders) of artificial sweeteners. A study published this fall in the International Journal of Obesity reports that the consumption of diet soda or use of the noncaloric sweeteners Nutrasweet or Equal during pregnancy is associated with higher Body Mass Index (BMI) and fat mass in those children, from babyhood all the way through early adulthood. Use of zero-calorie sweeteners during pregnancy is not uncommon, by the way. About a third of pregnant women report using them on any given day.

This latest study followed about 1700 women from Massachusetts. About 70% of them were white and the average BMI before pregnancy was 24.6—just shy of what would be considered overweight. They asked the women to indicate how often they used artificial sweeteners or drank diet soda during the first two trimesters of pregnancy. Then they followed the children from birth to the age of 18, recording their BMI and body fat.

The researchers adjusted the data to account for a whole slew of things that could potentially skew the findings—including the mother's pre-pregnancy BMI, age, race/ethnicity, education, previous pregnancies, pre-pregnancy physical activity, smoking, and the dad's BMI and level of education. And after taking all that into account, they still found that kids born to moms who consumed artificial sweeteners one or more times a day during their pregnancies had higher BMIs and higher fat mass compared to kids whose moms consumed little to no artificial sweeteners. The differences grew larger as the kids got older.

All together now: Correlation is not causation

Now, if I were in charge of public relations for artificial sweeteners—which I'm not—I would point out that this is merely a correlation and does not prove that artificial sweeteners had anything to do with these kids' weight or body composition. Although they collected a lot of information about the parents and used that to adjust their analysis, the researchers collected virtually no information about the diet or lifestyle of the kids over the subsequent 18 years. You could argue that what the kids ate and how much physical activity they got throughout their lifetime had a lot more to do with their body weight than whether their moms drank diet soda while pregnant. And you wouldn't be wrong.

Are kids whose moms drink diet soda more likely to drink diet soda themselves? I can't find any data to support that (which doesn't mean that it doesn't exist), but it seems likely. For sure, kids are consuming more artificial sweeteners than they used to. About 25% of kids report consuming them on a daily basis. And the proliferation of low- and no-sugar products in the marketplace may be an additional source of these sweeteners that neither kids nor parents are even aware of.

...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

An Interview with Lori Rader-Day

6 Tips for Getting the Best Home Warranty

Buying the home of your dreams is an exciting investment. But an often-overlooked part of being a homeowner is how you'll handle future home expenses, such as replacing a refrigerator that stops working or getting faulty plumbing repaired. 

The best way to reduce unexpected and costly home repair costs is to buy a home warranty plan. It's a service contract that pays to repair and replace primary home systems and appliances. 

Here are six tips for getting the most value from a home warranty. 

1. Don't skip a home inspection

Don't skip a home inspection even if you plan to purchase a home warranty. You could miss severe defects that aren't covered by a warranty and end up costing you later on. Always hire a professional home inspector to identify and report problems so you can make your purchase offer contingent on a satisfactory inspection report.

Buying a Home? Best Ways to Save Your Down Payment

2. Don't assume a property comes with a home warranty

If you build a new home, it may come with a builder's warranty. However, a typical seller may not pay for a home warranty. You can negotiate with a seller to buy a home warranty or purchase one on your own.

3. Read a home warranty's fine print

Whether a home seller offers a home warranty, or you purchase one, review it carefully. Double-check the price and coverage–-remember that not every component of your home may be under warranty. Be sure you know the quality of materials used in repairs, how long the coverage lasts, and how to cancel the policy if needed. 

4. Research home warranty providers

Since there are many ...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

5 Ingenious Ways to Store Wrapping Paper

Store wrapping paper on the ceiling

You found a big sale on wrapping paper, but now you don’t know where to store it all.  Ceiling wrapping-paper storage is easier than you think. First, you’ll need a space in your home, like a closet or hallway, where two parallel walls are close together. A few inches from ceiling, run several lengths of wire from these two walls, about 4–6 inches apart. The wires will form a simple lattice that you store the wrapping paper on. Just slide the tubes between the wires and ceiling and they’ll be safe, secure, and out of sight.

Repurpose a hamper

Have an old hamper you no longer need? Repurpose it as a place to store gift-wrap! Rolls of wrapping paper fit perfectly inside, and you can hang door hooks over the edges for rolls of ribbon and gift bags.

Gift wrap wrapper

We hate it when our perfectly adorable wrapping paper gets frayed, creased, or ripped at the edges while still on the roll. To prevent this, try this crafty trick: Cut a lengthwise slit in an empty wrapping paper tube, and wrap it around the roll of paper you’d like to protect. You can leave the very end of the paper sticking out of the cardboard wrapper to create a dispenser. Or, use toilet paper tubes instead of just wrapping rubber bands around the paper when you’re done with it.

4 Fast and Easy Gift Ideas

Make your storage go further

Lots of times, something that was made to store something else is perfect for wrapping paper! For example, these plastic bag holders from IKEA are great for organizing wrapping paper. A garment bag also works!

It’s a wrap

As for those little bits of wrapping paper you have left off a big roll…sometimes it’s easier to simply not save them! We suggest running scraps through a paper shredder for a colorful, inexpensive alternative to gift bag filler, bubble wrap, or packing peanuts.

Is "Gifting" a Word?

For more second uses for everyday items from all around the internet, check out our ...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

Breaking into Your Genius Zone with Gay Hendricks

 

Many people spend their days doing the things, checking the boxes, and achieving their goals... but are they dreaming big enough? Are they tapping into their true genius?

 

Gay Hendricks, New York Times bestselling author of The Genius Zone: The Breakthrough Process to End Negative Thinking and Live in True Creativity joined me for a conversation about understanding our genius zones, and making genius moves so that we’re putting our best work out into the world.

 

Listen to the full conversation on Apple, Spotify, your favorite podcast platform, or just click the audio player above.

What does it mean to work in our Genius Zone?

Gay explained that working in our Genius Zone essentially means we’ve “opened up this tremendous creative space” where our ideas flow, our intuition comes alive, and we’re able to deliver our most meaningful work. It requires that we “overcomes the upper limit problem” and recognize we can achieve big things we set our mind to.

 

“The biggest question is 'what do I love doing more than anything else? What is something that if I were doing that all the time my time would disappear?'”

 

The way to get to our Genius Zone is to acknowledge—and let go of—our need for control. We can’t control our way into creativity. We must “cultivate the art of letting go of trying to control things that aren’t actually controllable by [us]... The pathway to the genius zone is not through perfection. It’s through messing up.”

 

“Focusing on something you can’t control is a good way to keep the problem from getting solved.”

So what keeps us out of the Genius Zone?

“What keeps us out of the zone of our genius a lot of times is being locked in our habitual ways of thinking and not cultivating wonder. Wonder is one of the greatest human gifts. What do I need more of in my life?”

 

Gay explained that when something out of our control happens, we often attribute that outcome to a personal flaw which we imagine to be a fact. But he wants us to challenge this bad habit. “There’s something real in the power of resilience, of asking yourself ‘what is a fact and what is your interpretation of the fact?'”

And how can we move with intention into the Genius Zone?

The first and most critical thing we can do is simply commit to spending more time each day in our Genius Zone.

 

"Begin with making this statement to yourself: 'I commit to...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

How to Warm Up Before a Winter Exercise

The equinox is here and it’s officially winter this week. Cold weather will be the norm over the next few months, unless of course you live in Hawaii. With temperatures dropping, warming up your muscles before exercising is even more important.

The benefits of a warm-up are pretty obvious to those who perform higher intensity exercises such as interval training, sprinting, or heavy resistance training. Perform these activities without a proper warm-up and you’ll notice that your performance drops faster than the temperature during a blizzard in Antarctica.

I know it may be tempting to skip a warm-up and jump right into your workout if you’re not performing higher-intensity exercises. I feel that way all the time! That little voice inside says, “It’s not that important and you don’t have time.” 

And I always regret it when I do end up skipping out on the warm-up because I notice a huge difference when I do it versus when I don’t do it. Spending just a few minutes preparing your body for exercise with a proper warm-up, especially when it’s cold, will improve your performance and reduce your risk of injury.

Benefits of a warm-up

Have you ever wondered what actually happens to your body when you warm up? It turns out that one important change, among many, is an increase in muscle temperature. 

Now, this may be pretty obvious to you because why else would a warm-up be named as such? But research shows us that changes in muscle temperature are associated with important mechanisms that lead to improved physical performance. 

For example, one study demonstrated that a 1 degree celsius increase in muscle temperature enhanced exercise performance by 2 to 5 percent. Of course, this connection between temperature and performance doesn’t mean we should be exercising in Death Valley during the summer or training in blizzard survival jackets in the winter.

Rest Week: Why Taking Breaks from Exercising is...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

What Gifts Will Have the Biggest Impact on Your Relationship?

I am a really bad gift giver. My husband and I both struggle to identify good gifts for one another and inevitably wind up having the, “so, what do you want for a gift this year,” conversation before every birthday or holiday. It’s not that we don’t know what the other one likes, or what things each of us might enjoy receiving. It’s just that when we have a need for something, we buy it for ourselves. For me, I want to get my husband something he is going to use—something functional for him—and not something that is just going to become clutter.

On the opposite end of the spectrum is my Dad. He believes that a great gift is something that the giftee wouldn't buy for themselves. It should be something that isn’t necessarily need-based, but rather, is something fun or exciting that will bring them joy.

During the holiday season, gift-giving is a common and expected behavior, both within and outside of our romantic relationships. We may feel a lot of pressure and stress to find the perfect gift for our partners, friends, or family. But why do we do this?

Why do we give gifts?

I want to start the research section of this episode by acknowledging that evolutionary biology can come across as somewhat gross. It often takes a hetero-normative approach to understanding the biological drives associated with certain behaviors in romantic relationships, and also removes cultural and societal context from consideration. In addition, it doesn’t consider the classist implications of some of the economic values placed on partner selection tendencies. This means that some of the content we will be reviewing may come across as somewhat un-nuanced, and may not resonate with your lived experiences.

That being said: gift-giving is one way to build and maintain our close relationships. Some theoretical perspectives suggest that we’ve evolved to engage in the practice of gift-giving from a biological imperative. Some of the earliest forms of gift-giving stem from the practice of food sharing, where one person provides some of their bounty to their family members. Other theorizing on this subject considers that gift-giving may have been driven by courtship behaviors, whereby one partner, typically male, would attempt to woo the other partner with an offering of some kind to encourage mating behaviors. 

...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

10 Ways to Help Your Child Cooperate Without Using Punishments

In the face of your child’s challenging behavior and resistance, it’s hard not to demand immediate obedience from your child. You’re more likely to expect obedience if you’ve been raised with a “power-over” hierarchical familial structure where adult needs trump child needs, and where the biggest person with the most power—the adult—“wins.”

Now that you're the one with more power, it can be difficult to imagine sharing that power with your child. It’s so triggering when they don’t comply—no one shared power with you growing up! It’s your turn to call the shots!

But using punitive tactics like yelling, threatening, shaming, time outs, and imposed "consequences" to get your way doesn’t teach them to identify and express their feelings and needs. They also don't learn the alternative behaviors they could use. Instead, it teaches them to use their size, strength, and power to get what they want. Bribing them or using rewards to coerce your child into compliance is also tricky; they will often coerce you in return, refusing to comply unless given the reward.

So how do you respond when your child breaks rules or flat out refuses to do what you’ve asked?

Well, you’re not going to make your child behave better by making them feel worse. They can’t behave better externally until they feel better internally. Using respectful discipline takes the focus off of the behaviors themselves and puts the focus on the internal struggle causing them. You preserve your child’s dignity, humanity, and self-worth even as you stand firm on your boundaries. Respectful discipline is about letting go of what you can’t control (your child) and holding onto what you can control (yourself!).

Here are 10 ways to gain your child’s cooperation without using punishments:

1. Trade control for influence

You won’t always be the bigger one with more power. That’s why a strongly-connected relationship with your child is a more sustainable parenting tool. Your child will almost always resist your control, but if you have a deep and close connection with them, and they trust you, they’re less likely to resist your influence. You’ll have an easier time helping them get safely to adulthood. A child open to your influence takes your values, opinions, experiences, and concerns into consideration as they make independent decisions.

2. Your child can’t cooperate when their “cup” is empty

Throughout each day, your child’s metaphorical "cup" is being emptied by normal frustrations they encounter as they explore and learn more about their world. When a child’s emotional-relational cup is full, they are in the “green zone.” They’re more flexible, more cooperative, and more capable of logic and reason because their needs for safety are met.

Being sad, ill, or terrified can land them in the “blue...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

Quick and Dirty Tips Fan Gift Guide

If Your Favorite Podcast is Modern Mentor

MiGoals 2022 Goal Digger Planner Classic

Maybe your loved one wants to get organised in the new year, but doesn’t want to sacrifice their happiness for productivity. This MiGoals planner makes room for both. The left page is reserved for days of the week while the right is a space to write what you’re grateful for, your goals, habits, top 3 wins of the week, and any other thoughts.

If Your Favorite Podcast is Grammar Girl

Grammar Tote Bag 

Commas save lives!

If Your Favorite Podcast is Savvy Psychologist

"Chill Mode" Self-Care Kit

The holidays are often a time we associate with spending time with family and giving gifts to the people we care about, but it’s also a time to rest and recharge after a long year. As Dr. Johnson has told us many times before, rest is incredibly important and it comes in many different forms. This self-care kit from Knack is the perfect gift for relaxing after the in-laws have left and you’re finally by yourself. The kit includes exfoliating sugar cubes, eye gels, bath balm, and a journal among other self-care essentials.

If Your Favorite Podcast is Nutrition Diva

...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

18 Beliefs That Are Ruining Your Life (Part 2)

In part one of this episode, I introduced you to schema. Schemas are deep-set beliefs, or negative patterns, that develop during childhood and perist and expand throughout adulthood.

If you listened last week, you'll know the first 9. Have spent this last week thinking about what schemas may impact you or those around you? I know it's been on my mind lately after talking about this topic with all of you.

This week, we're going to introduce the other 9 schemas, and also dig a bit deeper into how they operate.

Missed last week's episode? Catch up here.

10. Entitlement/Grandiosity

The belief that you’re superior to others. Some may have an exaggerated focus on aspects that they believe display this superiority (e.g. being amongst the most wealthy or successful). I think, in present-day language, we might call them clout chasers; however, individuals with this schema are engaging in these behaviors to achieve power and control, and not primarily seeking approval or attention. Sometimes those with this schema may engage in excessive competitiveness, force their perspective on others, or attempt to control the behaviors of others to be more in line with their own desires without empathy or concern for the other person’s feelings. 

11. Insufficient Self-Control or Self-Discipline

This schema refers to the inability to tolerate any frustration in reaching your goals, as well as an inability to restrain the expression of your impulses or feelings. In its milder form, you may have an exaggerated emphasis on discomfort avoidance: avoiding pain, conflict, confrontation, responsibility, or overexertion at the expense of personal fulfillment, commitment, or integrity. When lack of self-control is extreme, criminal or addictive behavior may rule your life. If you struggle with this schema, remember that pain is a mandatory aspect of life, it’s impossible to have a healthy existence and avoid all discomfort.

12. Subjugation

This is the excessive surrendering of control to others because you feel coerced. This behavior is usually done to avoid things like conflict, anger, or abandonment. There are two major forms of subjugation. The subjugation of needs, which involves suppressing your desires, preferences, or decisions, and subjugation of emotions which involves the suppression of emotions, especially anger. People with this schema typically think that their experiences, opinions, feelings, and desires are invalid or not as important as those around them. Many times, subjugation can lead to...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

Writing a Historical Novel: One Writer's Experience

In this interview, I talked with one of my favorite authors, Lori Rader-Day, about her new historical novel, "Death at Greenway." 

"Death at Greenway" was inspired by a tidbit Lori read in a book about Agatha Christie that mentioned that during WWII, children from the cities were evacuated to the countryside and other countries in an attempt to keep them safe. Some of those children ended up at Christie's vacation home, Greenway. As a contemporary mystery writer with five successful books in print, she faced new challenges finding and incorporating the research necessary to get this story right (or as right as she wanted—she wanted to make it as historically accurate as possible, even though it is a work of fiction). 

We talked about:

• How she chose the viewpoint characters for the story.
• How she decided what historical elements to include.
• The choices she made with language to make sure the book's characters sounded authentic for their time and place.
• How an author can give characters that could seem quite similar (same age, gender, hometown, occupation, etc.) their own distinctive voice.
• When it's appropriate to use eye dialect (spelling words as they are pronounced) to represent regional speech.

You can listen to the interview using the player at the top of this page, or you can read a complete rough transcript.

 

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

Bonus: The Untold Story of Agent Sniper

Hello and welcome to Unknown History. I’m your host, Giles Milton.

If you listened to the last season of this show, inspired by my new book, Checkmate in Berlin, you learned all about the tensions in postwar Europe that provoked the Cold War. (And if you haven’t listened to that season, I highly recommend you catch up!)

Introducing Season 4 of Unknown History

Today, I want to tell you about a new audiobook that sheds more light on that same period of history: Agent Sniper by Tim Tate.

Agent Sniper tells the story of one of the most important spies of the early Cold War: Michal Goleniewski, codename Sniper. For years, as a Lieutenant Colonel at the top of Poland’s espionage service, Sniper smuggled thousands of top-secret Soviet documents from behind the Iron Curtain. In January 1961, he abandoned his family to make a dramatic defection across Berlin with his mistress to the safety of American territory. There, he exposed more than 1,600 Soviet bloc agents operating undercover in the West—more than any single spy in history. Much of his career is still kept secret, so the full story of his exploits has never been told until now.

Press play on the red audio player above for an exclusive clip from the new audiobook. If you like what you hear, you can get the book on Amazon, Audible, Barnes & Noble, Bookshop, or wherever books or audiobooks are sold. 

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

Which Type of Potato Should You Use?

Most of us buy potatoes based on how we’ll be cooking them, as opposed to a specific cultivar.

For example, for the ultimate mashed potatoes, you'll want starchy russets. But there are many more varieties of floury (starchy) potatoes to discover, and depending on what you plan to do with them, you might want to reach for one type over the other—high in starch, low in moisture and sugar content, floury potatoes are the ones you want if you’re baking, roasting, deep-frying, or mashing.

There are a few telltale signs that give you a clue to the potato’s starch content. When you slice a potato, sometimes a potato slice sticks to the knife, and other times it cuts easily and falls off the blade. The ones that stick to the knife are much starchier, while the waxier ones slide off effortlessly.

A more home-science way of determining starchiness is by dunking the uncut potato in a brine of salt and water (1 part salt to 10 parts water). If it sinks, it has a starchy persona; if it floats, it’s waxy.

Russet

Around 1870, Luther Burbank, an American botanist and horticulturist, introduced the granddaddy of floury types, russet potatoes, and more specifically the cultivar called Burbank. This is a late-summer-into-fall crop with a brown, almost coarse, tough skin and white, dense flesh. It is by far the most cultivated of all potato crops in the United States. Russets are harvested as late as November and store well even if not used until June of the following year. This versatile tuber is great for baking, french frying, and mashing (as they are fluffy when boiled, dried, and riced).

Yukon Gold

This hybrid, formulated in Canada, is by far the best-marketed potato in North America (named after the Yukon River in Canada and with a nod to the gold rush of the West). Gold-skinned and -fleshed, this medium-starch potato is a great multipurpose tuber that has fried, baked, and boiled its way into millions of kitchens. These potatoes are also much higher in vitamin C and potassium compared with other baking cultivars.

Sweet Potatoes Versus White Potatoes

Purple creamer

Genetically rooted in Peru, these beautifully tinted tubers are simply known in the United States as purple potatoes. Medium in size, they have dark purple skin and deep purple flesh, which, when sliced and soaked in cold water, lightens up to a beautiful soft shade of purple (if it were a paint, it would have a froufrou name, perhaps Petulant Patagonia). Purple creamers are more readily available now in supermarkets than they once were. With medium starch and a...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

How to Pay for College Without Going Broke

If you’re like many people, the idea of paying for a child’s or your own education is daunting. The rising cost of education seems out of control and taking on a mountain of student loans to pay for it can be frightening.

According to the Federal Reserve, in the second quarter of 2021, Americans owed $1.73 trillion in student loans. That’s a 3% increase from the same period in 2020. The burden of repaying student debt can be overwhelming and even prevent you from reaching essential financial goals, such as buying a home or investing for retirement.

So, how do you create a plan to pay for college without going broke?

To discuss this critical topic, I interviewed Dan Roccato, who’s a clinical professor of finance at the University of San Diego School of Business. Dan is also an author, entrepreneur, and Money Coach for Credible.com. He’s a noted expert in personal finance, economics, and capital markets.

We had a great conversation about what parents and students need to know about planning for education expenses and managing student debt. Here are a few of the topics we cover on this Money Girl podcast interview:

• Why the cost of college has skyrocketed in recent decades above the inflation rate.
• Common mistakes families make when it comes to prioritizing saving for college or retirement.
• How much you should borrow in federal and private student loans for higher education based on your future expected income.
• When to begin the federal financial aid application...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

How to Eat (Mostly) Clean, Live (Mainly) Clean, and Unlock Your Body's Natural Ability to Self-Clean

Your book published at the time of year people tend to make promises to themselves to better their eating habits and nutrition. What advice do you have for those whose New Year Resolutions revolve around eating and nutrition? Do you recommend any specific goals that are healthy to aim for?

Most resolutions fail.  Instead of sweeping resolutions, I am a big believer in making changes in a way that is sustainable.  When we try to do too much all at once, we usually abandon what we are doing because it’s just too difficult to maintain.  That’s one reason why I wrote Clean(ish) to be a longer term process.  Readers will first learn why they will want to make changes, and then they will decide which changes they want to implement, and also their own timetable. 

Think of it as a New Year’s Resolution that will stick…because it is step-by-step sustainable change!

What does it mean for a body to "self-clean"? This makes me think of one of those self-driving vacuums that just rolls around by itself all day long!

Imagine you were having a constant party at your house, 24/7.  Your self-driving vacuum couldn’t do its important work.  Your house would get dirtier and dirtier.  But the good news is—Our bodies are amazing self-cleaning machines!  From our liver to our lymphatic system to everything in between, if we fuel our bodies well, choose nutrient-dense foods, have periods of digestive rest, and live a lifestyle where we intentionally put in fewer toxins, we can get out of our bodies’ way and allow them to do the work they are literally designed to do.  It’s when we overload our bodies with excess toxins, choose the Standard American Diet (also known as SAD, for good reason), and eat around the clock that our bodies get overwhelmed. 

What are some very simple swaps a person could implement in their lives to live and eat healthier?

Real food for the win!  Rather than choosing ultra processed foods, we can swap out healthier versions.  Love to eat burgers and fries?  The worst option would be fast food burgers and fries.  Just today I saw a photo of an 11 year old burger and fries that someone’s teenager used in an science project years ago.  It looked like a slightly dehydrated version of its earlier self, but it didn’t mold or degrade in any way.  Yuck!  On the other hand, you could make a homemade version using grass fed/grass finished ground beef, organic cheese, high quality burger toppings, and organic potatoes that you slice up, toss in olive oil, and bake in the oven for homemade oven fries. 

In between those two choices is a continuum...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

How to Enjoy the Holidays Without Wrecking Your Diet

We’re in the thick of the holiday season, a time when many of us struggle to stick to our healthy habits. With all of the extra treats and disruption in our routines, it feels like every day is a cheat day!

It may be tempting to decide that you’ll just throw in the towel and pick up the pieces on January 1st. But today I have a few time-tested strategies that can help keep things from feeling quite so out of control.

Holiday Tip #1: Cultivate your inner food snob

I’m not talking about being hyper-critical or looking down your nose at anyone—that’s not in the holiday spirit! But with so many treats and indulgences around, we can afford to be—and really, we need to be—extra choosy about which ones we’re going to enjoy.

If anything, our standards should be higher than usual at this time of year given the overabundance of options.

For example, there’s a lot of cheap chocolate around at this time of year. And just because it’s wrapped in green and red foil instead of silver doesn’t actually make it taste any better. I don’t eat cheap chocolate at other times of the year. I hold out for the good stuff and eat it in small quantities. But for some reason, my normally high standards seemed to fall apart as soon as the tiny chocolate santas hit the scene. I’ve learned to be on guard against this effect and remind myself that, if anything, my standards should be higher than usual at this time of year, given the overabundance of options.

By the same token, if someone has gone to the trouble of making egg nog from scratch, I might enjoy some. Sure, it’s crazy high in sugar and calories, but homemade egg nog is a rare treat. On the other hand, I would never waste the calories on egg nog out of the carton, even if it means I go the whole season without any. No big loss.

Now, if you genuinely love tiny chocolate santas or eggnog out of the carton, then this is your chance to enjoy them … in moderation. Just remember to pass on those treats that you don’t actually enjoy that much.

I can hear some of you saying, “But, Monica, the problem is that I love all of these treats! There are none that I don’t enjoy!”

Pick the ones that are the least ubiquitous to be your special treat. Let their rarity be part of the appeal.

In that case, decide which of them you love the best. Or, if you really can’t rank them, pick the ones that are the least ubiquitous to be your special treat. Let their rarity be part of the appeal. For example, you’ll probably be going to more parties than usual—office parties, family get-togethers, neighborhood gatherings. There...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

How to Cope with Communication and Hearing Loss

I recently received an email from a woman named Joan, who shared with me her difficulties in communicating due to a hearing disability. She especially has trouble in crowded rooms. In Joan’s experience, people become uncomfortable when she tells them she is hard of hearing and asks them to repeat themselves. She doesn’t want to make people uncomfortable, and so she turned to me for help.

My view is this: Some things make people uncomfortable, but you need to say them anyway.

After my late husband died, it was very awkward to tell stories of my life, because they all included John. And eventually my conversation partner would want to know who John is. The conversation would eventually lead into the question, "Oh, is that your husband?"  

After I shared something so personal, the other person often reciprocated by sharing something personal, too.

I tried so many different ways to politely explain: “He's my late husband; I'm a widow; he was my husband; Oh, he was my husband, but he passed …” etc. No matter how it was phrased, the conversation came to a dead stop. I had to make the other person feel comfortable by saying, "Please, it's OK.... of course, I'm sad that he is gone, but I would not trade my time with him for anything. He made me very happy." The point is I knew they would be uncomfortable, and I did my best to make them feel at ease. 

But here's the thing—after I shared something so personal, the other person often reciprocated by sharing something personal, too.

Though clearly it's not the same situation, if you tell someone you have a disability—no matter what it is—you are going to make the other person uncomfortable. However, I think the way you ease the discomfort is by being explicit about how you want the person to react or treat the situation. By just saying, “I’m hard of hearing,” you could be, in a sense, saying, “It will be too difficult to communicate with me.” So they back off. Some people might actually want to get past that point with you, but might be afraid to offend you by asking more questions. So they, too, back off.

Just as I had to do regarding talking about John, you will have to do the same. You present the situation, then set them at ease by telling them how you would like to communicate.

For instance, you can say, “I have some hearing loss, but I’d love to chat with you. I can understand you very well if you _______.”

Now your conversation partners don’t have to ask, and know exactly what to do. Give them clear instructions, like:

• “I can understand you very well if you...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

The Antidote to Workplace Hustle Culture

Last week I got on a coaching call with a client. 2 minutes in, she began crying. 47 minutes later, she was still crying. She was burned out... to a crisp. 

 

At minute 52, we got a deep breath into her, and she began listing her priorities for me. And there were many. “I know we’re supposed to be setting boundaries and doing the self-care thing,” she told me, “but I can’t afford to spend my days meditating and taking walks. I have a big job to do!”

 

And that was the moment when I almost started crying. She had articulated something I realize so many are struggling with right now: this toxic belief that we’re either succeeding or chanting in a warm bath.

 

This unwillingness to believe that we can succeed while caring for ourselves and our teams is the epitome of hustle culture. It’s the mentality that a minute not spent grinding out work is a minute wasted, that more is always better, and that rest and relaxation are for the weak. 

 

Unlike toxic productivity—which is driven by an internal need to always be busy—hustle culture is a bundle of awfulness perpetuated by a whole organization or team.

What signals might you spot in an organization suffering from the hustle?

• Items are only added to to-do lists, never subtracted
• Lunch breaks are comedy—everyone laughs at them 
• There is always discussion of the next thing, with no pause to recognize or celebrate what’s already been achieved
• No one has asked about your boundaries
• Vacation days are to be collected but rarely spent

Do any of these feel familiar? If so, what can you do to begin to make a change at your workplace?  

 

The antidote to hustle culture isn’t doing less work. It’s doing work more mindfully with more purpose, intention, and focus on impact over activity. Here are some practices you can use to start to muzzle the hustle.

1. Ask better questions 

Hustle culture values quantity while anti-hustle strives for impact.

 

When a new project or initiative pops up within a hustle culture, project owners tend to ask questions like:

• When do you need it completed?
• What’s my budget?
• What are the key performance indicators to track?

These are the type of questions my sobbing client would typically ask her boss. But these all presume that of course she’s going to get it done—she just needs some basic facts to start with.

But in an anti-hustle culture, we’d be asking better questions...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

Is Getting Fit More Important Than Losing Weight?

Hello listeners!

I'm taking a week away from the podcast, but I'll be back next week with more fitness tips.

In the meantime, I wanted to share an episode of Nutrition Diva, another fantastic show on the Quick and Dirty Tips network. If you don't already listen to Nutrition Diva, now is the perfect time to start. Sometimes, it can just feel impossible to know if we're eating healthy. Vitamins, minerals, fat, protein—it's all enough to make your head spin. That's why, every week on Nutrition Diva, host Monica Reinagal provides quick and accessible tips on how to sort food facts from fiction.

This week, we're going to look at the question: what's more important for our health, getting fit, or losing weight? I hope you enjoy it and go on to listen to more Nutrition Diva episodes. If you want to read the full transcript of the episode, click here.

See you next week!

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

Holiday Gifts for Fantasy Nerds

This holiday season, you might be wishing you were on an quest through a mystical forest, sipping a cup of ale by the fire in a dusty inn, or quietly brewing a potion. Or maybe you just want to escape reality for a little while. If that's the case, it’s time to get out of your head and into a world of magic, mayhem, and adventure. Not sure if fantasy is really your thing? We’ve got novels all over the fantastical spectrum for you to try.

Not to mention, they make great gifts. Whether you’re trying to surprise someone, or if you’re struggling with what to get your Dungeons and Dragons obsessed teen this year, there’s something on this list for you. 

The Beautiful Ones by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

Do you read as much Jane Austen as you do Robert Jordan? Did you wish Bridgerton had just a touch more magic? Then you’ll love this fantasy novel set in a sumptuous alt-regency era. Navigating your debut into high society is complicated enough without being an untrained telekinetic, but Nina is doing the best she can. Lucky for her, the charming entertainer, Hector Auvray, has just come to town. A telekinetic like her, he’s excited to tutor her, but he appears to be hiding something.

Find The Beautiful Ones at Amazon | Audible | Barnes & Noble | Bookshop | Indiebound

Are You Listening by Tillie Walden

Bea is on the run, and Lou is getting out of this town for good. They just happen to be going in the same direction. What follows is a surrealist road trip novel chronicling the friendship that forms between Bea and Lou as they overcome trauma, run away from mysterious Highway Control Officers, and care for a stray cat. It also happens to be a graphic novel with some of the most beautiful illustrations you could ask for.

Find Are You Listening at Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Bookshop |...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

“Picking Your Battles” Isn’t the Best Thing for Your Relationship

Here is the thing about being romantically involved with another person: inevitably, they are going to do something that really irritates you. They are going to continue to irritate you repeatedly over the course of your relationship until acted upon by an outside force (which is really just you telling them that what they’re doing is bothering you). This is a fundamental truth of being in a romantic relationship. 

Relationship irritations are those little things your partner does that get on your nerves. For me, it’s when my husband leaves every single kitchen cabinet open after rummaging through them. Inevitably, the next time I walk into the kitchen, I feel obligated to close them all. For others, it may be their partner leaving their shoes in the middle of the floor when they get home and not moving them out of the way (in my house, my husband and I are both guilty of this, so it is probably only an issue for our cats to traverse).

Address it or ignore it?

When a relationship irritation presents itself, we have two primary options: we can address the issue, or we can try to ignore it. Research has found that 40% of irritations faced by people in a romantic relationship go unaddressed. Common wisdom recommends you should “pick your battles” with your partner, and learn to let the little things go. But is that really the case? To better understand where this wisdom falls short, I am going to introduce you to two couples who are experiencing relationship irritations.

Our first couple, Jodi and Tony, are married and have lived together for 6 years. They recently bought a new coffee maker that can make both single-serve coffee and a pot of coffee, which is very convenient! Every morning this week, Jodi has woken up first, and has gone to make coffee where she takes the old coffee pod out of the single-serve experience, and leaves it next to the coffee maker instead of throwing it out. Now, when Tony goes to take out Jodi’s pod from earlier today, he is forced to throw out both her most recent pod and the pod she left next to the coffee maker, and to clean up the remnants left underneath that pod on the counter. Naturally, this is frustrating for Tony, but it's a stupid little thing that he can just deal with—it takes about a minute to handle and he just does it without thinking too much about it...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

How to Practice Radical Acceptance as a Parent

Whether your child is a newborn or just graduated from college, you’re going to deal with situations that, as a parent, you simply cannot change. From questionable personal style and daily annoyances to mental and physical health issues, disappointments, divorce, death, random disastrous acts of nature, and even global pandemics!

So it’s natural that you’ll sometimes find yourself stuck in a spiral of thoughts like “How could this be happening?!” and “Why do such unfair things happen to me?!” One way to pull yourself out of the anxious agitation that clouds your ability to cope is to draw upon the practice of radical acceptance to reduce your feelings of discomfort.

A therapeutic tool taught in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), radical acceptance can help you tolerate life’s distressing moments. When we wish or expect that things will be different than what they are, suffering and distress result. Denying, fighting against, or trying to avoid reality won’t change it, but not accepting that reality will transform what would otherwise be ordinary pain into suffering.

This isn’t about approving of what’s happening, ignoring what you really need, or giving in and giving up. This is about an intentional choice you make not to waste energy railing against the reality of what is. It means letting go of what you’d have preferred or what you want and acknowledging that things are what they are.

Put your energy toward what you can do rather than who and what you can’t control.

Parents can use radical acceptance in three ways:

Accept the reality of who you are

Parents who’ve grown up in Western hyper-individualistic upbringing and culture have gotten direct and indirect messages about the ways they're not measuring up to a harder working, more successful, more ideal standard. To be acceptable, you have to somehow be different than who you naturally are. Humans have universal biological, emotional, and spiritual needs, but when self-reliance and independence are prioritized in your culture, being aware of your own needs can cause self-criticism and anxiety about being weak. It can feel easier to focus on what you consider faults than to see your gifts and your worth as a person.

Instead of giving yourself a hard time, being defensive, or in denial about qualities in yourself you wish were different, accept yourself totally and without judgment—the good and the bad alike—exactly as you are. Your desires to change for the better can exist right alongside your acceptance of who and where you are right now. You don’t make yourself do better by making yourself feel worse. And the more practice you have at accepting yourself completely, moment by moment...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

Do Puppies Make Good Christmas Gifts?

I don’t know that I’ve ever actually seen a holiday card picturing a puppy and a toddler draped all over each other amid a sea of crumpled red-and-green wrapping paper. If I did see such a card, I would buy up the entire stock and burn it.

Despite the image peddled in those holiday cards I’d so happily torch, puppies and busy holidays aren’t a good fit. And neither, generally, are puppies and small children. Here’s why.

Housetraining your puppy is harder during the holidays

Regardless of your newly adopted puppy’s exact age, you must meet certain needs if he’s to have the best chance of growing into a beloved and friendly companion. Housetraining is the first of these. Many young dogs lose their homes because they’ve never clearly learned where pee and poop should go.

Now, the key to housetraining success is to confine or diligently supervise your puppy in between frequent toilet breaks. The ideal is that your puppy never has a chance to eliminate in the wrong place.

For the youngest puppies, “frequent” toilet breaks may mean “hourly” — whenever the puppy is awake.

And wait, there’s more!  Excitement and activity—you know, like what goes on during holidays?—get that puppy bladder and bowel zipping right along. Furthermore, up to the age of at least four months, your puppy will almost certainly need an overnight outing as well. That is all sounding so compatible with going to Grandma’s house, and having the neighbors over for eggnog, and staying up late with your kids as they assemble every lego set they got. Isn’t it?

The more times your puppy eliminates where you don’t want him to, the harder it will be for him to learn what you do want? 

Puppy socialization is harder during the holidays

If I could get every adopter to do two things for their pup, careful housetraining would be second. Good socialization would be first. You can pretty much always repair a dog’s bad manners, but the behavior problems--chiefly fearfulness and aggression--that are caused by poor socialization cannot be undone. That’s as close to an...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

18 Beliefs That Are Ruining Your Life (Part 1)

Today, we're going to discuss early maladaptive schemas. There are so many of them that this will be a 2-part episode, so listen through to the end and make sure you're ready for next week!

Have you ever heard of a schema before? A schema is a stable and enduring negative pattern that develops during childhood or adolescence. It persists and expands throughout our lives.

We view the world through the lens of our schemas. Schemas are closely held beliefs and feelings about yourself, others, and the world. Typically, you accept these beliefs without question and many people are not aware that they have them. They are self-perpetuating and are very resistant to change, but with appropriate treatment, you can change them!

For instance, children who develop a schema that they aren’t good enough rarely challenge this belief, even as adults. They can be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company and still go home feeling as though they're inadequate. Schemas, like emotions, are self-serving. They attempt to mold your experiences and encourage you to engage in actions that keep them around.

Usually, schemas operate in subtle ways, outside of our awareness. However, when a schema is triggered by stimuli in our environment, our thoughts and feelings are dominated by schema-related content. In these moments we may experience maladaptive thinking, extreme and/or intense emotions, and have urges to act in ways that might not be in the interest of our psychological well-being.

8 Myths About Therapy, Busted

Schemas are formed when our needs are not met during childhood. The schema often prevents these needs from being satisfied in adulthood. Relationships are a good example of how these schemas can persist. If we don't have secure attachments in our caregiving relationships, often we will find that these patterns are replicated in our adult relationships with others. We may not even realize that we have replicated the same coldness in our romantic relationship that was present in our parental ones.

Schema therapy was first introduced in 1990 and defines 18 schemas. Over these next 2 episodes, I'm going to explain what they are and how they work. Make note of the schemas that appear familiar, either for you or for someone you know. Awareness is a skill!

1. Emotional Deprivation

This schema refers to the belief that your primary emotional needs will never be met by others. These needs can typically be described in three categories: nurturance, empathy, and protection. Nurturance relates to needs for closeness, affection, or love. Empathy is our need to feel understood and our need for direction, guidance, or advice is...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips