Why Is 'Chiropractic' Singular?

Hi, Mignon. Long-time listener. First-time caller. I have been curious for a long time about the word 'chiropractic' because of how it's a noun like 'mathematics,' or 'physics,' or 'therapeutics,' but it's singular as a noun. I think it is singular, and that it is one of the few nouns that end in S and it's a singular noun. So I don't know. That's my question: Why is not 'chiropractics?'

It had never occurred to me that "chiropractic" is a singular noun, but you're right. The abbreviation "D.C." you see after a chiropractor's name stands for "doctor of chiropractic." Not "chiropractics" or "chiropractic medicine," but just "chiropractic."

According to Etymonline, the noun "chiropractic" was coined by Americans in 1899. It's a combination of two Greek roots: "chiro," which means "hand" and "pratikos," which means "practical." Chiropractors use their hands to manipulate your body, so the name makes sense.

And it is odd that it's singular. Aside from the fact that the second root, "pratikos," ends with an S, many other disciplines end with "-ics": physics, pediatrics, mathematics, linguistics, economics, ethics, and so on.

There are many nouns that end in just "-ic" too though. The Oxford English Dictionary highlights a few disciplines such as "music," "arithmetic," and "rhetoric." 

Usually, these words we borrowed from Greek started out as adjectives, and you'll recognize the "-ic" suffix in adjectives like "diabolic," "sophomoric," and "platonic."

The most interesting point is that when these words moved from Greek to Latin, sometimes they were treated as singular and sometimes they were treated as plural. The OED says, "There was in medieval Latin considerable fluctuation in the grammatical treatment of these words." In Italian, Spanish, and German, they were "regularly treated as feminine singular." The same was true of French, but again according to the OED, "in French, from the 16th century, [they were sometimes treated] as plural (as in 'les mathématiques')."

In English, there's a dividing line in the middle of the 16th century. Before then, these kinds of words were generally treated as singular, and tended to be written like the French words: for example, "mathematique," "mechanique," and "economique."

But after the middle of the 16th century, some, including the names of sciences...

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'Tom-ay-to' or 'Tom-ah-to'? How To Pronounce 'Tomato'

In the world of great debates, there is one that has been long enduring and still keeps language prescriptivists awake at night: Is it "tom-ay-to" or "tom-ah-to"?  Now, this may not seem as pressing as whether nuclear fusion is possible, but to people in the linguistic trenches, it is pretty darn close. After all, how many linguistic pronunciation ambiguities have been so long running and widely known that they have actually inspired a song?

So is it 'tom-ay-to' or 'tom-ah-to'?

To get to the bottom of the great tomato pronunciation debate, we have to go back —way past the Gershwins putting the ditty into the world.

'Tomato' was originally a Nahuatl word

According to linguist Jack Chambers, the fruit was brought over to Europe around 1500 by Spanish explorers who had developed a taste for it in the New World. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the original name—"tomatl"—came from Nahuatl, an Uto-Aztecan language spoken in parts of Mexico and Central America. Once across the pond, the word was nativized as it begun to be used by speakers of European languages, meaning adapted to fit the sound system of the borrowing language.

Europeans turned the Nahuatl word into 'tom-ah-to'

In Spanish, the name for these little beauties was "tomate" (pronounced "tom-ah-te"), based on the sound system of Spanish, which, like most Romance languages, used a long "a" vowel (pronounced "ah") which was the closest vowel sound to the one heard in the original Nahuatl word. This pronunciation was then adopted by the British, who used a similar "ah" vowel (sort of like we hear in the British-sounding pronunciation of "father"). So, this foreign loan-word nativization process would seem to argue that "tom-ah-to" is the accurate loan-word form, at least outside of the real McCoy, "tomatl."

The Americans turned the British word into 'tom-ay-to' (but the British used that pronunciation too)

Well, it’s not quite so clear cut. American colonists, always a bit wayward, had also learned about and cultivated tomatoes but pronounced the word with a different vowel sound, the diphthongal [e] vowel (pronounced "ey" like in "hey").  According to socio-phonetician Charles Boberg’s work on foreign loan word nativization, this "ey" pronunciation was actually a common pronunciation assigned to many foreign loan words spelled with a similar vowel, like "potato," that had been borrowed into English prior to 1500—before the Great...

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Ten Tips for Starting Your College Search

There's nothing quite like going to college. This is a major decision, and it is important to think carefully about which college you decide to choose. Whether you are going back to college or helping a child select an educational institution, it is important to think carefully about how you conduct the college search. This is going to have a major impact on not only the educational experience but also personal growth and development. What are a few tips to follow when it comes to the college search? Take a look at several key tips below. 

1. Think about yourself first

During the college search, you need to think about yourself first. What this means is that you need to assess where you are at as a person. What do you like to do for fun? Who do you like to hang out with? Then, think about what you need in a college. What are the most important features? What do you want to do with your life? This will help you find the right college for you.

Remember that college is going to be what you make of it.

2. Talk to a counselor

It is also a good idea for you to talk to a professional counselor. For example, if you are still in school, there is probably a college counselor who can help you assess your options. Be sure to talk to this person to develop school recommendations. They may be able to put schools on your list that you may not have even thought about. It is always a good idea to have outside input.

3. Dream big

College is a time to dream big. Therefore, put yourself out there. Do not hesitate to shoot for the stars. Take a look at as many schools as possible, and see what you think your life might be like. If you dream as big as possible, you can find the best school for your needs. Remember that college is going to be what you make of it. What do you think life is going to be like? What do you think your fellow students will be like? Use your imagination. 

4. Start early

It is never too early to start thinking about college. The earlier you start, the more options you will have time to assess. It is not unusual for people to start thinking about college during middle school, but you definitely need to start thinking about college by the time you reach your junior year.

If you are thinking about going back to school as an adult, give yourself more time to assess your options. Start as early as possible.

5. Think about cost and career 

Even though money is not the only factor you need to consider, you certainly do not want to overlook it. You need to think about the cost of your education and how you are...

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The Berlin Airlift: A Race to Save the City

William “Bill” Tunner—“Tonnage Tunner” to his comrades—had a track record unlike any other. From autumn 1944 until the winter of 1945, he had commanded one of the most exhilarating aerial operations of World War II. His task had been to fly in guns and explosives to Kunming, in China, where the beleaguered forces of Chiang Kai-shek were fighting a rearguard battle against the occupying Japanese.

The route necessitated flying over the eastern Himalayas, traversing some of the most desolate mountain ranges in the world. Now Tunner was to apply his talents to the German capital, accepting with alacrity the offer of running the Berlin Airlift. Shortly after, he headed directly to Wiesbaden, in the American zone of Germany.

Tunner was appalled by the amateurishness of the existing airlift, describing it as “a real cowboy operation.” There were no schedules, no discipline, no sense of purpose. “Everything was temporary,” he said. “Confusion everywhere.” This confusion reached a breaking point on Friday, August 13, 1948, “Black Friday,” when Tunner flew into Berlin in the company of Red Forman and Sterling Bettinger. It was the day on which the airlift would be forever transformed.

The weather was atrocious, with scudding black clouds and driving rain. Visibility over the Harz Mountains was down to zero. Tunner recalled the words of the comedian Bob Hope: “Soup I can take, but this stuff’s got noodles in it.”

The chaos on the ground forced the control tower to stack planes in the skies above Berlin, with scores of aircraft circling blindly in a 9,000-foot soup of cloud.

The chaos on the ground forced the control tower to stack planes in the skies above Berlin, with scores of aircraft circling blindly in a 9,000-foot soup of cloud. As they bucked and shuddered, the pilots could be heard on the airwaves in a state of high alarm.

The principal problem with the existing airlift was a lack of discipline. No sooner was Tunner on the ground in Berlin than he instigated two cardinal rules that were to govern the airlift from that point on. Rule one was a standard practice that governed all flights. Henceforth, all planes were to fly an unchanging flight pattern determined solely by instrument. Technology was to govern everything, a risky strategy at a time when radio compasses were often faulty.

Rule two was no less controversial. To avoid the hazard of stacking planes in the congested skies over Berlin, any pilot who missed his landing slot was to return immediately to base. “It caused a great deal of comment,” Tunner noted, “particularly among air traffic experts.” But his rigid application of Reginald Waite’...

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Grammar Quirks: Ellen Feldman on Using Grammar to Create Characters

Grammar Girl: What’s your favorite word and why?

Ellen Feldman: Where to begin?  I love the word "feisty," because, like its meaning, it comes out swinging. I’m fond of "compassion" for the same reason, that it sounds like what it means. There, the S sound is not toughened by the T.  It’s, well, compassionate.  I also like "clement," though I couldn’t say why, except that just saying or writing it makes me feel calmer. And one of my favorite words has wandered in from another language. "Schadenfreude" carries in one long mashup both its pleasure and its shame.

GG: What’s a word you dislike (either because it’s overused or misused) and why?

EF: "Share."  I don’t mind it in its original sense.  I’ll share my lunch with you or give you a share of my winnings, but people who want to share their feelings or an anecdote rather than simply tell me about it set my teeth on edge.

GG: What word will you always misspell?

EF: I have a lot of trouble between lose and loose, but perhaps that comes under the heading of grammar rather than spelling.  I love words, but I am not a good speller.

I love words but I am not a good speller.

GG: What word (or semblance of a word) would you like to see added to the dictionary? Why?

EF: I’m ashamed to say that I cannot think of a single word now, though I often put words together when I’m writing. The language is already so rich that I wish more people used more of those that already exist.

GG: Any grammar pet peeves we should know about?

EF: The mistake that makes me want to commit violence is using the nominative after a preposition. Would you like to join Sally and I?  It happened between he and I. I think the reason I find this so offensive is that it’s pretentious. For some reason people think "I" and "he" sound more erudite than "me" and "him."

I also hate email that begin with "hey," and my name, and I’m shocked at how many of them I get professionally. Yes, I know I’m showing my age here.

GG: To what extent does...

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10 Hacks to Keep Your Toilet Clean

Clean your toilet while you sleep

To remove hard-water deposits in your toilet bowl, pour 1 cup of white vinegar into the bowl and allow it to sit for several hours or overnight before scrubbing.

Whiten toilet bowls

Forget the nasty chemicals and overpowering scents! You can use ½ cup lemon juice in your toilet bowl to deodorize and remove stains naturally. Let it sit for several minutes before scrubbing clean.

Looking for more creative uses for lemons? Check out Domestic CEO's guide to Using Lemons to Clean Your Home

Remove toilet stains

The tannins in tea can help lift any stubborn stains. Tannins also have antimicrobial properties. To take advantage, just leave some brewed tea in the toilet bowl for several minutes to several hours (depending on the severity of the stains). Then brush the bowl, and flush the stains away.

Make your bowl smile

For a cheap and easy way to clean your toilet, use mouthwash. Just as it cleans away germs in your mouth, it will do the same in your toilet bowl. Pour 1 capful into the bowl, leave for 10 to 15 minutes, and wipe clean with your toilet brush.

Reach under the rim

Clearing away dirt and deposits under the rim can be tricky. But a smart tool can help. Purchase a package of those cotton coils used for perms (you can find them at a beauty supply store). Soak the coil in a basin with vinegar. You might want to do this right in the shower to avoid drips. Then stuff the toilet’s rim with the coil. Allow the vinegar to work on the stains overnight, then remove and throw away the coil, and flush the toilet to rinse.

Speedy toilet-cleaning relief

To make this nasty chore easier on your gag reflex, drop two Alka-Seltzer tablets into the bowl twice a week. After 15 minutes, swipe around the bowl with a toilet brush. Your toilet will be spotless!

A fizzy denture tablet works well for this hack, too.

Take soda to the can

Cola contains phosphoric acid, which can lift stubborn stains such as rust. That makes it a good toilet cleaner: Pour the cola directly into the bowl, leave it for an hour, and then flush.

Lift with lemonade mix

Instant lemonade mixes like Kool-Aid contain citric acid, which works great to battle mineral deposits. Sprinkle the powder around your toilet bowl, let sit for a minute or...

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Your Guide to Saving Money with an HSA Now and in Retirement

One of my favorite tax-advantaged accounts is a health savings account, or HSA, for short. Not only does an HSA allow you to pay for a wide variety of healthcare expenses with pre-tax dollars, but you can spend it any way you want after your 65th birthday. It's a clever, legal way to pay less tax, save more, and invest for the future.

All that said, having an HSA comes with strict rules you must follow or pay a hefty penalty. This post will cover terrific tax benefits you get from an HSA, updates on new (and often surprising) allowable expenses, and tips for using an HSA to build wealth for retirement. 

What is a health savings account (HSA)?

An HSA is a tax-free account for the sole purpose of paying allowable healthcare expenses. But to qualify, you must have a particular type of health insurance, which I'll cover in a moment (see "Who qualifies for an HSA?" below).

You can contribute to an HSA if you purchase an HSA-eligible health plan on your own or through an employer's group plan. You always own and manage an HSA as an individual, and there are no income limits to qualify.

In other words, you don't need permission from an employer or the IRS to set up an HSA, and it stays with you if you change jobs or become unemployed. Even if you lose your HSA-eligible insurance, you can continue spending your HSA balance, but you're not eligible to make any new contributions to the account.

The beauty of an HSA is that contributions are deductible on your tax return even if you don't itemize deductions. The funds can earn interest, or you can invest some or all of them for potential growth in a menu of options, such as mutual funds. The investment options depend on your HSA provider, so it makes sense to shop around before setting up an HSA. Then, when you take distributions to pay for qualified medical expenses, your original contributions plus any earnings are entirely tax-free.

Depending on your income tax rate, using an HSA to pay for allowable...

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Catching up on choline: essential but under-researched

Let’s talk about choline: an important nutrient that you may never have heard of.

What is choline?

Choline is sometimes lumped together with the B vitamins, and while it is not technically a B vitamin, it does share some characteristics common to that family of nutrients. We humans have the ability to manufacture choline in our livers (which is called de novo synthesis, or synthesis "from new"). But we can’t make enough of it to meet our needs and so it is considered an essential nutrient—meaning we must get it from our diets.

What does choline do for us?

Choline is required to make a lot of biologically important molecules, including phosphatidylcholine and the neurotransmitter acetylcholine. It’s critical to brain and nervous system function and plays a very important role in early brain development, both in the womb and in early life.

In fact, new research on the role of choline in fetal brain development has prompted the American Medical Association to push for a higher level of choline in prenatal vitamins.  Up until recently, many prenatal formulations didn’t even include choline or included it only in very small amounts.

The AMA would like to see 450 mg of choline in prenatal formulations. One challenge is that choline is a sort of bulky nutrient and including higher amounts in a prenatal would make the tablets a lot bigger. It might be more feasible to recommend that pregnant women take a choline supplement in addition to their prenatal. For now, it’s up to women and their doctors to make sure that this need is being met.

Choline has a lot of other important functions in the body, including protecting the liver. A deficiency of this nutrient can lead to a buildup of fat in the liver, which can eventually lead to liver damage or even cancer.

See also: What is non-alcoholic fatty liver disease?

Where do we get choline?

The richest dietary sources of choline are eggs, organ meats (like liver), fish and shellfish, beef, pork, and chicken. Of the plant-based sources, Brussels sprouts, broccoli, and other cruciferous vegetables are your best bets.

How much choline is enough?

Good question! Choline does not have a recommended daily allowance (RDA) because the panel of experts that establishes those recommendations feels that there is not enough data to determine what amount is sufficient. When there’s not enough information to set an RDA, the National Academy of Medicine punts by setting an Adequate Intake (AI) instead. This is based on the amount that healthy people seem to be eating—with the assumption that if they’re generally healthy, they must be getting enough.

The AI for choline is...

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10 Ways To Make Your Long-Distance Move More Efficient

Moving long-distance can be overwhelming, and that is why preparation is critical. By taking the proper steps, you can make your move a breeze and prevent many of the problems other movers face. By using tools like a moving cost calculator, you can be financially aware and budget accordingly. Other tips, like selling large items, can save you from high moving costs. Overall, there are lots of decisions you need to make when taking on a big relocation, so here are ten ways to make it a little easier on yourself.

1. Decide what to keep

One of the best ways to prepare for a long-distance move is deciding what to bring with you. It may be tempting to bring everything, but it can be a big hassle. Instead, try selling some of your furniture in a yard sale or online on a platform like Facebook Marketplace or Craigslist and take that money with you to purchase new furniture.

The less you take with you, the more you save on moving costs and the easier your move will be.

2. Make a checklist

Staying organized is key to making your process as smooth as possible. Fortunately, finding a moving checklist online is easy and will help you stay on track without forgetting anything along the way. Your list can be organized to tackle different tasks at different points leading up to the move, up to 2 months out, depending on the preparation time you have.

3. Find packing hacks

For the items you do want to keep, finding packing hacks online is a great way to streamline packing and unpacking. A lot of moving hacks, like putting trash bags over your hanging clothes, will save you money and prevent you from buying extra moving supplies that you don’t need. Other tips, like putting small items in your shoes, will save you space and allow you to move more for less money.

Check out Who Knew's 15 Tips That Will Change the Way You Pack

4. Measure hallways and doorways

Big pieces of furniture often won’t fit through tight doorways and hallways, which is why it’s essential to measure them before moving. You may need to disassemble your furniture to get it in your new home or sell furniture that is too heavy or difficult to move to the new location.

5. Compare estimates

Moving with professional help is much easier if it is within your budget, and price comparing online will allow you to...

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Grammar Quirks: Lauren Shippen on Adopting Her Mother's Pet Peeves

Grammar Girl: What’s your favorite word and why?

Lauren Shippen: I absolutely love the word “gloaming." It’s another word for dusk or twilight, but to me, there’s something special and unique about the time that is “the gloaming." The moment right as the sun slips below the horizon, and everything glows. It’s such a poetic, magical word for a poetic, magical kind of moment that lasts only an instant.

GG: What’s a word you dislike (either because it’s overused or misused) and why?

LS: As recently as a few years ago, the world “gaslight” wasn’t used very often—I remember writing it into a script and that being the first time many folks encountered it as a term. Now it’s used constantly online and—while it’s an incredibly useful word (with a fascinating origin)—people use it wrong.  A lot.  It’s a word I still personally love, but I wish we deployed it a bit more specifically as a culture.

GG: What word will you always misspell?

LS: "Occurring."  Every.  Single.  Time.  Even right now, looking at it here, I’m not sure I spelled it right.

GG: What word (or semblance of a word) would you like to see added to the dictionary? Why?

LS: I use “lol” a lot in texts and all kinds of online communication, even in handwritten communication sometimes too. Always all lowercased and usually not an indicator of me actually laughing out loud. It conveys an emotion that I can’t quite put words to, but that is not communicated through any other word, so I would love to see what a definition for it would even be.

GG: Any grammar pet peeves we should know about?

LS: I’m very much of the mind that grammar and language evolve and shift, and as long as we’re striving for clarity in communication and everyone understands the meaning of something, we can be fast and loose with a lot of strict rules. That said, it drives me bonkers when people use “less” when they could and should be using “fewer.” My mother drilled the difference into me growing up, and I would always make the argument I just made above, but it eventually wormed its way into my subconscious and now her pet peeve is...

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A Guide to Solopreneurship: A Conversation with Money Girl Laura Adams

Maybe you’re tired of the full-time gig. Or you’re thinking of a side hustle. Or you’ve bought into the wisdom of having multiple income streams.

 

If you’ve got the bug—to gig, hustle, or found, then do I have the book—and the conversation for you.

 

QDT’s own Money Girl, Laura Adams, joins me to talk about all the things you don’t know—and don’t know you don’t know—when it comes to starting a hustle or business. In her new book, Money-Smart Solopreneur: A Personal Finance System for Freelancers, Entrepreneurs, and Side-Hustlers, she covers everything from finance to productivity to purpose, and we chat about the essentials in this week’s interview.

 

We began at the intersection of financial genius and workplace success.

 

“It is a scary world,” Laura told me,” for new business owners—there's a lot of questions, a lot of concerns, but the reality is it doesn't have to be scary. We can make it pretty simple.” This beautifully encapsulates her book as well as the conversation we had around it. 

 

You can listen to the full conversation using the player above, or in your favorite podcast app.

For the person who wants to start something on their own, but is just too afraid of the uncertainty, what advice would you offer?

Laura acknowledges that just getting started can be the most intimidating part. We anticipate all the things that could go wrong. But there is a cost, too, to standing still, to not taking a step toward financial independence.

"Don't hold back from a great idea due to a lot of detail."

“One of the themes of my book,” she explains, “is to just give it a go and have the courage to make a move.” Some of what makes solopreneurship so scary is thinking about everything you don’t know that you don’t know. “I see a lot of people who are very reticent to get started because they're so afraid that they're going to do something wrong…to violate some business law. And, and the reality is it's more likely that you should get started and then figure things out…So don't hold back from a great idea due to a lot of details.”

 

Maybe start a side hustle rather than a full-blown business. Whether that’s driving for a ride-...

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What to Eat Before, During, and After Your Workout

I’ve mentioned in a previous episode that fitness is like baking a cake. The essential ingredients for this cake are movement, nutrition, recovery, and mindset. But as any baker knows, timing is crucial. When it comes to nutrition, questions about what to eat before, during, and after workouts frequently come up.

These are important questions because the nutrition you derive from food is the fuel that allows you to perform during workouts and recover from them afterward. If you’re fueling your body right, this back and forth between performance and recovery progressively leads to a leaner, stronger, and healthier body.

Nutrition scientists are realizing that when you eat doesn’t seem to make a whole lot of difference for most people when real changes such as performance gains are measured over longer periods of time.

In this episode, I’m going to provide you with simple and straightforward advice based on the latest research on how to best fuel for your workouts. I’m also going to share with you some of my favorite recipes for meals that are delicious and nutritious that you can quickly put together, all available from our colleagues at Cookstr. 

The importance of total daily nutrient intake 

Before we delve into recommendations about what to eat before, during, and after your workouts, it’s important to note that scientific knowledge about exercise nutrition has deepened over the last decade. As more research has become available, total daily nutrient intake has become more important than the timing of intake for athletes and active individuals alike. 

In other words, the question of whether your total energy needs are being met should be prioritized over questions of timing. Nutrition scientists are realizing that when you eat doesn’t seem to make a whole lot of difference for most people when real changes such as performance gains are measured over longer periods of time. 

That’s not to say that nutrient timing is dead. Nutrient timing is helpful if you’re a weight class athlete, serious endurance athlete, professional bodybuilder, or if you train twice a...

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5 Ways You Can Support Your Partner

Have you ever felt like your help went unnoticed or was unappreciated by your partner? Likewise, are there times you have felt your partner didn’t do much to help support you during a difficult time?

Feeling supported is a hallmark quality of a good relationship. We want to feel like we're helping our partner through mundane or everyday tasks as well as difficult times, but we also want to feel that our partner is reciprocating.

Sometimes we do things for our partners that help make their day-to-day lives easier but aren’t super obvious. This is called invisible support.

For instance, imagine Mitchell is especially busy at work this week. Cam takes care of all of Mitchell’s usual chores around the house and spends extra time with their daughter, all so Mitchell can be his best at work. By the end of the week, Mitchell’s case at work is complete and the family can have a relaxing weekend. Cam finds himself a little salty though—he made sure everything ran smoothly all week and didn’t even get a “thank you” from Mitchell. This is, in part, because Cam provided invisible support. 

As the name implies, invisible support is not directly noticed or interpreted as support. As in the case of Cam and Mitchell, Cam completed Mitchell’s chores when he was not around, so the house just happened to be clean when he got home from work. Invisible support doesn’t always have to be practical though. Someone might be able to discreetly provide advice, not by directly telling their partner what to do, but by referring to how someone else in a similar situation handled it and how that ended up working out for them. It’s something helpful, but not obvious.

While not being recognized for your help can make you feel like you’re being taken for granted, invisible support may actually be more helpful to your partner than more obvious support.

Past research has shown that receiving more overt forms of support can actually be detrimental to people’s self-image. Some may feel like they are receiving help because they are incompetent and cannot manage what's going on in their life on their own, which in turn may make them feel poorly. They may also feel like they have to “pay back” the support, which may also feel like a burden....

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9 Tips For Building Trust With Your Child Using Validation

Like many parents who want to shift from control-based parenting to collaboration-based parenting, you likely just want things to get better, to feel easier. You want both you and your child to feel good about your interactions. When you use some respectful parenting tools that you’ve learned, your child responds with less resistance than usual—and you feel encouraged! Maybe things can change!

When the next challenging situation arises, however, that same approach doesn’t result in cooperation. Since she's back to being the same challenging kid she was last week, you decide that clearly this respectful parenting stuff doesn’t work with your kid. Your kid needs tough love, not this coddling, respectful stuff!

I hear you! It can seem that way. But maybe what’s happening is that your child just needs more instances of her voice being heard, felt, and considered by you. You could take more opportunities to show her that putting her guard down with you is a safe thing to do. Then she could begin to see that letting you know how she feels can be fruitful and actually lead to getting her needs met. When she’s able to string together multiple experiences of you validating her emotions, she can start to trust that this it’s the new normal.

When it comes to improving the parent-child dynamic, there's only one person you have any real control over: yourself.

The challenge is that respectful parenting requires a genuine desire to understand your child’s perspective and an underlying consciousness of acceptance, especially when they’re behaving in challenging ways. Otherwise, you’re just parroting "respectful" phrases while still trying to control and change your child—just in a nice way. When it comes to improving the parent-child dynamic, there's only one person you have any real control over: yourself.

Changing your behavior changes the “dance” between you and your child. Some kids, feeling confused by this change, will try to reestablish the old dance that they know best. They need repeated experiences of your commitment to your new dance steps. The problem is that it can be easier to white-knuckle through your child’s expressions of emotion than it is to really show acceptance.

Today, I’m talking about the concept of validation. Here are 9 ways to express that you are truly and deeply interested in your child’s perspective—even when you don’t agree—that can help you begin to rebuild the trust you need to send your relationship with them in a new direction.

1. Give full attention to your child

Put your technology, your book, or your activity aside for the moment. Let your child know...

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6 Ways to Cope With Suicidal Thoughts

Suicidal thoughts are a lot more common than you might think. That's why it's crucial to be aware of suicidal behaviors in yourself or friends and family, and ways you can prevent suicide.

Did you know that suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the US? In 2019, nearly 1.4 million suicide attempts were made and over 47 thousand people died by suicide.

Women are more likely to attempt suicide, but men are more likely to die by suicide—in fact, the highest rate of suicide is in middle-aged white men, with white males accounting for nearly 70% of suicide deaths in 2019.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be reached at 1-800-273-8255.

It's also important to note that there are alarming trends within groups of marginalized people. For example, suicide rates are higher in those who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender, likely due in part to hostility and discrimination against LGBTQIA+ individuals. The suicide rate for American Indian and Alaskan Native individuals was 1.6 times higher than the all-race suicide rate in the US in the late 2000s. From 2003 to 2017, Black youth experienced a significant upward trend in suicide rates, with the largest annual percentage in the 15 to 17 age group and among girls.

This may all feel like just a bunch of statistics, but they feel startling to me and drive home the point that we all need to be aware of how suicide and suicidal thoughts can impact us as individuals and look out for each other. No group of people is immune to suicidal thoughts, behaviors, attempts, or deaths.

Scoping out suicidal behaviors in yourself or others

So, what behaviors should you be on the lookout for?

First, I want to say that it’s not uncommon to have a fleeting suicidal thought even if you don’t have a diagnosable mental illness. Many people have had a low day and thought to themselves, "I wish I wasn’t alive right now."

This is an example of passive suicidal thoughts. Passive suicidal ideation occurs when you wish you could die or that you were dead, but you don’t have an intention or plan to commit suicide. Active suicidal ideation involves the thoughts, intention, and plan to follow through on suicide.

Here is a list of potential risk factors to look out for:

1. If a person has a history of suicidal behaviors which include a history of attempts, aborted attempts, or self-injurious behavior (e.g. cutting, burning).
2. Current or past mental health diagnoses like depression, bipolar disorder, psychotic disorders, substance use disorders, traumatic brain injuries, ADHD, PTSD, and personality disorders like Borderline Personality Disorder.
3. They may start to show signs that they have lost interest in things, feel a sense of...

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'The Language of Leadership' with Joel Schwartzberg

In this interview, I talked with Joel Schwartzberg about his book The Language of Leadership. We discussed:

• How to write better thank-you emails.
• What people get wrong about empathy.
• Why even leaders should use simple language.
• Why "hope" makes a better noun than verb.
• When you should and shouldn't use the pronoun "I."
• And more.

You can listen to the interview using the player at the top of this page, or you can read a complete rough transcript.

____________________________

Joel Schwartzberg is a leadership communications coach whose clients include American Express, Blue Cross Blue Shield, State Farm Insurance, the Brennan Center for Justice, and Comedy Central. He is the senior director of strategic and executive communications for a major national nonprofit and previously held senior-level communication and editorial positions with Time Inc., PBS, and Nickelodeon. Schwartzberg’s articles on effective communication have appeared in "Fast Company," "Harvard Business Review," and "Toastmaster" magazine, and he’s a sought-after business and communications podcast guest and conference speaker. He is the author of Get to the Point! Sharpen Your Message and Make Your Words Matter, which Seth Godin calls “a manifesto for giving talks that make a difference,” and The Language of Leadership:...

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An Interview with Joel Schwartzberg: Transcript

5 Common Health Conditions Affected by Screen Time

It’s September, which means back to school. As physically active as you may have been during the summer months, it’s safe to say that most of you who are back in the dorms and the classroom will be spending a lot of time on the computer.

Without aging myself, I remember the internet was a rather novel entity when I was in college. It was a treat to be able to use it when living in the dorms. Wifi and Bluetooth didn’t exist; only scarce computer labs that we had to fight for time on. Most of us still hit the good ole library to research our school projects. We also used typewriters to type reports, and only if it was required.

It’s now the 21^st Century, and time has surely changed. We spend almost every waking moment attached at the hip to our smart phones, tablets, and computers. College campuses, restaurants, coffee shops, shopping centers, amusement parks, and libraries now all include wifi.  Even my 80-something year old parents have tablets and Facebook accounts. A world without computers is a strange one to contemplate.

But with it also come a slew of new health disorders that have been on the rise. I see them almost daily. What are the most common medical conditions doctors see related to this increased screen time? And what can you do to negate it all to protect your health?

5 Common Health Conditions Affected by Screen Time

1.  Eye health

Glaring at a computer all day long will certainly affect your staring eyes, right? And it does. Eye fatigue is more common now than ever. Besides discomfort, it can also cause the eye muscles to twitch as a result. It can also contribute to dry eyes, a condition that can cause irritation, inflammation, and even pain. Staring at a screen can also cause headaches in some, especially if you are sensitive to the screen light.

What can you do to combat this?

• Take eye breaks frequently – give your eyes a break throughout the day by taking your eyes off of the screen and look around at your surroundings
•  Use artificial tears multiple times a day, especially if you suffer from dry eyes or your eyes twitch
• Keep a safe distance from the screen. Try to avoid getting too close, or too far. If you are squinting, you either need an eye exam or the screen is not set at a proper distance
• Wear your eye correction. Don’t skimp out on the glasses or lenses your eye...

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Launching the Berlin Airlift

Within minutes of Lucius Clay’s green-lighting the full-scale airlift, urgent messages began clattering out of Teletype machines at air bases across the globe. Capt. Clifford “Ted” Harris was based on Johnston Atoll, a speck of steaming lushness in the Pacific Ocean. It was midnight when he saw a Jeep’s carbide headlights cutting through the darkness. “Ted,” came the voice of his navigator, “you’ve got to get yourself all together in 30 minutes. We’re going to Berlin!”

Six hundred miles to the east, on Honolulu, Pvt. William “Greek” Glatiotis was sitting in a bar sluicing ice-cold beer. He choked with surprise when a sergeant greeted him with the words, “Hey, Greek, you’re shipping out in two hours’ time.” It was the very last thing he was expecting.

British airmen received similarly curt summonses. Flight Lt. Dick Arscott was about to set off on a weekend’s leave with his wife when his trip was abruptly canceled. “I’ve got news for you,” his squadron commander said. “You’re going to Germany.”

Within hours, Arscott and his comrades were heading for Berlin. They were to work a 16-hour day, seven days a week, with as many as three return trips to Berlin each day. They worked in revolving shifts: breakfast was served at 8 a.m. on day one, 4 a.m. on day two, and midnight on day three. This played havoc with Arscott’s body clock, for there were days when he would eat breakfast in the evening and lunch in the middle of the night.

Pilots faced the additional menace of Soviet harassment, with Yak fighters swooping down on the lumbering allied cargo planes in 370-mph dives.  “Like a swarm of wasps,” thought Ens. Bernald Smith as he counted 22 Yaks performing acrobatics in the sky around him. When flight engineer Albert Carotenuto made his final approach into Berlin, the Yaks came so close that their piston-driven engines sent his plane into a violent shudder. “One micro-second on either side and it would be mincemeat.”

At Gatow, General Kotikov encouraged Soviet artillery to fire incendiary bullets between incoming planes; he also had powerful searchlights carefully positioned so as to blind incoming flights at night. Airman Gerry Munn was about to land when the sky seemed to explode into a million fragments of light. “A blinding, blinding flash of bright white light.” Munn’s eyes went into a spin. “I couldn’t see from here to the windshield, let alone 10 miles ahead.” It was a miracle the control tower was able to talk him down to the ground.

Once on the ground, pilots had just seconds to get their planes off the landing strip before the next plane came in to land...

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20 Best Personal Finance and Small Business Digital Tools

Managing money doesn’t have to be a ton of work. You can use free or low-cost digital tools to make better financial decisions and achieve your goals. Personal finance and business programs and apps have become incredibly popular, and for a good reason. They’re easy to use, generally don’t cost much, and can help with managing money, being more productive, finding the best financial products, staying on top of your credit, investing your hard-earned money, and so much more.

No matter what you want to achieve, such as sticking to a budget, building a side business, or shopping for cheaper insurance, there’s a digital tool that can help. In this post, I’ll cover 20 of my favorite free or low-cost online tools. Giving them a try could be the ticket to quickly improving various aspects of your financial life.

20 Best Personal Finance and Small Business Online Tools

See how each of these online tools can improve your personal and business financial success.

1. LastPass

If you’re like me, you have a lot of online accounts. With so many online tools and apps at your fingertips, you’ve probably noticed that managing their passwords can be a real hassle. Also, you need to change passwords periodically to make sure your accounts, especially bank and credit cards, won’t get hacked by a cybercriminal. So how do you keep up with it all?

Fortunately, password managers like LastPass keep you organized and secure. It saves all your different passwords and automatically logs you into your accounts. All you need to do is remember one password, the master password that unlocks everything saved in LastPass.

LastPass offers password management for one device for free. However, you can upgrade and manage all logins across your devices for $3 a month or $4 for a family plan. 

2. Credit Karma

I’ve used Credit Karma for many years to do monthly checkups...

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Getting More Sleep Can Reduce Food Cravings

Have you ever noticed that you feel hungrier or have uncontrollable cravings for certain foods after a poor night’s sleep? It’s not just your imagination—there's a link between sleep and hunger.

Studies show that even a single night of sleep deprivation changes the levels of our hunger and appetite hormones, leading to increased hunger. It also affects the way your brain’s motivation centers respond to the sight (or even the thought) of food. 

Essentially, when you are under-rested, both your body and brain send strong signals that drive you to the drive-through. Those extra calories can easily lead to weight gain, which would seem to explain the well-documented connection between undersleeping and being overweight. Undersleeping is also associated with increased risk of heart disease and Type 2 diabetes.

When you're under-rested, both your body and brain send strong signals that drive you to the drive-through

There is some good news here. Researchers from University of Cape Town in South Africa recently analyzed results from seven studies that used various methods to increase sleep duration. They found that when people got more sleep, they were less hungry during the day. Even better, they experienced reduced desire for sweet and salty foods. 

Perhaps this is the motivation you need to finally get serious about improving your sleep habits. But how?

The first step involves a set of practices collectively referred to as “sleep hygiene.” If that doesn’t help, there are some more intensive approaches you can try. But let’s start with the basics. 

Basics of Good Sleep Hygiene

1. Limit caffeine after midday. Caffeine can make you more alert and boost your ability to concentrate. It also appears to have neuroprotective properties. Regular consumption of caffeine reduces the risk of both Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s. But because it is stimulant, it can interfier with sleep. Although individual tolerance varies, most people sleep better if they avoid caffeine in the afternoon and evening. See also:...

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Do Dogs Grieve When Another Dog Dies?

Recently, listener Deborah wrote to me about her two dogs, Greta and Oyster. The family adopted Greta two years ago, when they already had Oyster. Deborah says it was “love at first sight” for the dogs, even though Greta’s afraid of other dogs in general. Deborah brought her dogs to work, and a colleague’s dog, Lucy, would hang out in her office with Greta and Oyster.

Sadly, Oyster died, and now Greta’s afraid to pass Lucy in the office hallway. It seems as if Oyster gave shy Greta confidence, and Deborah wonders how she can best help Greta now that her companion is gone. This week, a look at how dogs react when a housemate dog dies, and what you can do to help them adjust.

Do dogs feel grief?

Most dogs recover quickly from the death of a housemate dog.

Probably most people assume that if housemate dogs are friends and one dies, the surviving dog will feel grief, or a canine equivalent. In my experience, this isn’t necessarily so. Our dogs Muggsy and Izzy were the best of friends. They’d greet each other eagerly after any separation, and they played and napped together. Conflict was rare. For a few weeks after Muggsy died, Izzy would respond to the sound of Muggsy's name by alerting and looking around. But she ate and slept normally and enjoyed her outings to the park as much as ever.

Last year, Izzy herself died at a ripe old age. Our dog Juniper had never known life without her. The dogs hadn’t played much, because their styles weren’t compatible, but they had a good relationship. Juni never really seemed to notice that Izzy was gone. Pretty shallow, right?

Dogs don’t understand death

I’m not so sure it’s shallow. Dogs probably don’t have the cognitive ability to understand permanence or death. Behaviorally healthy dogs take separations in stride—they don’t lose their marbles when we take one dog to the vet for a checkup and leave the other one at home. They do fine when we go on vacation and leave them with their friend the dog sitter. I believe that often, as far as Dogalini’s concerned, the late Zippy isn’t home right now, and that’s all there is to it. The longer Zippy stays away, the more Dogalini gets used to the new situation and accepts it as normal.

Dogs are exquisitely sensitive to human body language and tone.

However, dogs are exquisitely sensitive to human body language and tone. And we humans understand death and permanence all too well. Our distress at losing a beloved companion shows itself in our voices and our movements. Our dogs may respond with anxiety when we cry. Familiar routines may suddenly have changed. Like all animals, including us, dogs are most at ease when their...

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Audiobook Excerpt from "True Raiders" by Brad Ricca

This book tells the untold true story of Monty Parker, a British rogue nobleman who, after being dared to do so by Ava Astor, the so-called “most beautiful woman in the world,” headed a secret 1909 expedition to find the fabled Ark of the Covenant. This amazing tale not only inspired the blockbuster film Raiders of the Lost Ark but stands on its own as an incredible story of adventure and mystery, though it has been almost completely forgotten today.

In 1908, Monty is approached by a strange Finnish scholar named Valter Juvelius who claims to have discovered a secret code in the Bible that reveals the location of the Ark. Monty assembles a ragtag group of blueblood adventurers, a renowned psychic, and a Franciscan father, to engage in a secret excavation just outside the city walls of Jerusalem.

Using recently uncovered records from the original expedition and several newly translated sources, Raiders is the first retelling of this group’s adventures– in the space between fact and faith, science and romance.

This exclusive audiobook excerpt was provided by Macmillan Audio. 

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How to Make the Peer-to-Boss Transition

Today we begin with a congratulations to Modern Mentor listener Sylvie! She’s been promoted. But there’s a catch and she needs some advice. Here’s how Sylvie described it to me in an email she sent to modernmentor@quickanddirtytips.com:

 

“Hi Rachel. I’ve been on an account management team for 3 years. We’re a small team and sometimes it feels like family. Our boss left the company a few weeks ago and I’ve been promoted into his role. I’m so excited—I’ve been wanting the new challenge. But now my colleagues—my friends—have become my direct reports, and I’m their boss. I want to be successful in the role, but I’m worried my team will resent me or just not see me as a leader. How can I step into this role and make it a win for everyone?”

 

Sylvie, thanks for the question, and congratulations again. I’ve been in your shoes, and I’ve coached others through similar transitions. So let’s talk about some strategies you can use to build trust and credibility and deliver some amazing results through your team.

1. Own the awkward.

This situation isn’t uncommon. But it can be awkward. And the worst thing you can do is try to hide or ignore that reality.

 

So start by just putting it out there. Let your team know you’re so excited about the job, but this is a big change for everyone, and it’ll take time to adjust to the new dynamic.

 

What are you most uncertain about? Maybe you’re worried they don’t think you’re ready for the job, or that your friendships will fade. Let them know what’s on your mind and invite them to do the same. 

 

A shared sense of discomfort is something you can all watch for and manage together.

 

I was 27 the first time I landed in this situation. I spent my first few weeks in the role just pretending the awkward away. Which is vaguely like ignoring a gentle case of appendicitis, assuming it will just pass. Until the appendix bursts. In other words, not a great idea.

 

Finally, one day I pulled the team together and said “Hey. This is a weird moment for me and I’m sure it is for you too. I’m uncomfortable suddenly being the boss. We’ve always been peers and I have a lot to learn about how to do this well. I want to hear what this feels like for you—let’s just put it all out there.”

 

We ended up having a great conversation, laughing together for the first time in weeks. But we also articulated some of our biggest...

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7 Tips for Great Form on the Assault Bike

The assault bike (also referred to as a fan bike or an air bike) is one of the most effective ways to develop cardiovascular endurance. I personally hop on mine every week for a killer cardio session. 

For those who aren’t familiar, an assault bike is an exercise bike with arm handles that you can push and pull in addition to pedals for your legs. The handles move in sync with the pedals and both are attached to a large fan in front of the bike that provides air resistance. 

Because the assault bike allows more motion of the body than a traditional exercise bike, there’s also more room for inefficient or ineffective movement patterns. My tips to improve your form will help newbies and veterans alike prevent injuries and optimize gains.

Assault bikes are great for people of all ages, weight, and fitness levels and workouts can be as simple as pushing, pulling, and pedaling for 20 minutes at a moderate intensity.

4 benefits of an assault bike

But first, let’s briefly look at some of the benefits of exercising with an assault bike: 

• The simultaneous use of the arms and legs on an assault bike provides a full-body workout that’s also great for burning calories. 

• Air resistance naturally increases the harder and faster you go, which means the resistance on an assault bike changes to match your effort in real-time.

• Assault bikes are the perfect tool for interval training, a method where you alternate between exerting high-level and low-level effort, which can vastly improve your cardiovascular fitness.

• An assault bike workout is low-impact, which...

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What Happens When Your Foot Falls Asleep?

Imagine you’ve just sat down to watch your favorite TV show. You decide to snuggle in with your legs crisscrossed because you find it more comfortable that way.

When the episode ends, you try to stand up and suddenly your right foot isn’t working. At first you just can’t move it, then it feels like it has pins and needles all over it. For a minute or two it feels uncomfortable and weird, but soon enough you are able to stand up and walk around normally.

What just happened?

I’m an exercise physiologist – a scientist who studies what happens to our bodies when we move and exercise. The goal of much of my research has been to understand how the brain talks to and controls the different parts of our bodies. When your foot falls asleep, there is something wrong with the communication between your brain and the muscles in that area.

Every time you decide to move your body, whether it’s standing up, walking around or playing sports, your brain sends signals to your muscles to make sure they move correctly. When the brain is unable to talk with a muscle or groups of muscles, some weird things can happen – including that part of your body getting that weird falling-asleep sensation.

An animation explains how the nervous system works.

It usually starts with a sense of numbness or tingling in that area. This sensation, which people often also call “pins and needles,” is technically known as paresthesia.

Some people mistakenly think a lack of blood flow causes this feeling. They imagine the “asleep” feeling happens when your blood, which carries nutrients all over your body, is unable to get to your foot. But that’s not right.

When your foot falls asleep, it’s actually because the nerves that connect the brain to the foot are getting squished thanks to the position you’re sitting in. Remember, it’s these nerves that carry messages back and forth to let your brain and your foot communicate with each other. If the nerves have been compressed for a little while, you won’t have much feeling in your foot because it can’t get its normal messages through to your brain about how it feels or if it’s moving.

Once you start to move around again, the pressure...

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Will My On-Again Off-Again Relationship Work Out?

A friend, Jim, recently asked me for advice about his relationship. He said his girlfriend broke up with him because she perceived him as too controlling. After putting in some work to try and better himself, he and his girlfriend have decided to try and make it work again. She agreed that he has clearly demonstrated growth and has made an effort to improve, and has decided to give him that second chance.

Jim asked me a question that a lot of have faced in the past: "What's the likelihood that this relationship will last?"

This kind of relationship is called an on-again/off-again relationship, also known as a cyclical relationship. This is when a couple has broken up at least once before and then gets back together. Cyclical relationships are fairly common, with nearly two-thirds of adults in one study indicating that they have experienced an on-again/off-again relationship at least once in their lifetime. 

What do we know about on-again/off-again relationships?

The quality of cyclical relationships generally tend to be lower than noncyclical relationships. What does that mean, exactly? People in cyclical relationships report having more conflict and experiencing more aggression from their partner, while also experiencing less validation and understanding from their partner. They also report experiencing less love, sexual satisfaction, and satisfaction of needs like companionship or emotional involvement from their partner. If these couples decide to get married, the lower satisfaction tends to carry over into the marriage as well.

Break-up periods in cyclical relationships ("off-again") tend to last an average of 1-2 months. When couples are off-again, partners take fewer measures to maintain their relationship when compared to couples who break up and don't get back together, even though partners in cyclical relationships...

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How to Manage Your Anger and Frustration as a Parent

There are so many ways in which being with children can fill your heart with a kind of glowing love that feels almost surreal. An unprompted “Thank you so much, Papa!” or, “I made this for you because you’re the best ever!” can really warm the cockles of your heart.

But there always be times when you find yourself clenching your teeth and thinking: “If I have to answer this question one. more. time. I’m going to throw this glass right at the wall!” Or your child whines to you about how they wish they were with their other parent right now “instead of YOU!” And all the sacrifices you’ve made for this tiny human flash through your mind as you hear yourself saying, “Yeah? Well GUESS WHAT?!” and things go downhill from there.

Today, we’re talking about your anger as a parent: what it is, how it works, how to regulate it, and how to know when it’s a problem for you and your children.

The mechanics of anger

While we all experience anger, it's important to actually define what it is we're talking about here.

Anger is an emotional state that can vary in duration, intensity, and frequency within a person and between people. It starts with physiological arousal and reactivity in response to any situation you perceive as aversive, threatening, or unfair. Outside of your conscious control, your nervous system automatically switches into survival mode of the “fight” variety.

This aroused state brings your hypervigilance online. You begin to see others and the world as threatening or hostile, which then increases your reactivity, generating a feedback loop. Your facial expression, body posture, the tone and volume of your voice, the words you use, and the actions you take help to communicate your anger to others.

Outside of your conscious control, your nervous system automatically switches into survival mode of the “fight” variety.

You can be in an angry state (state anger), or you might be particularly predisposed to becoming angry such that anger is a trait (trait anger) of yours. Evolutionarily, fight mode is adaptive and might have helped you (and therefore your future offspring) survive an attack by a predator or allowed you to establish dominance with your fellow mammals. In the modern world—and especially as a parent—you need to be able to moderate your anger in order to get your needs met in non-hurtful ways. If you struggle with emotional regulation your anger can become controlling, rejecting, or aggressive—verbally or physically.

The anger pathways of your brain can become so accustomed to firing that your...

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Childlessness: How to Decide if Motherhood Is for You

Today, we are talking about childlessness - the conscious decision made by women to forego having children. To be clear, I am not talking about women who have dealt or are dealing with infertility, but rather about women who view the prospect of motherhood as a choice rather than a predetermined milestone. When we dig into the reasons why this is happening, we see there have been many shifts since American fertility rates were at their peak in the 1950s.

The shift toward increasing childlessness reflects a variety of social trends; these include, but are not limited to, access to contraception and abortion, women’s increased opportunity for education and focus on career growth, and changing attitudes toward mothering. Generally speaking, in my practice as a psychologist, I have seen attitudes toward mothering operate on a continuum. There are women with strong motherhood attitudes, those with strong childfree attitudes, and those somewhere in the middle, who are open to the concept as long as certain contingencies are in place (e.g. stable relationships or financial security).

In this episode we will focus specifically on straight, cisgender women who make the choice not to have children. Research on men and LGBTQ+ individuals' parenting decisions is more scarce. For heterosexual men, it has been noted that some reasons given included loss of freedom and importance of other life goals. While higher levels of education in women is associated with making the choice to be childfree, it was found that men with lower education levels were more likely to make this choice. In general, those who have chosen to be childfree tend to be more politically liberal, less religious, and value independence more highly. In terms of the LGBTQ+ community, please keep in mind that they face additional barriers to being parents. For instance, adoption, finding a surrogate, or donor, and discrimination. Therefore, they may not have freely made the choice to be without children. 

That said, here are four reasons why women are choosing to be childless:

Reason #1: Safer sex and access to abortions

Let’s start with access to contraception and abortions. I'm not trying to draw any lines in the sand here...wait, yes, I am! Myself and anyone associated with my practice is pro-choice. We believe fundamentally that all women should have the freedom to decide if and when they become mothers. There is no universal right answer for anyone, and I help people explore this topic from a non-judgmental position every day. Having access to contraception and to abortions allows women to take control of their sexuality. Removal of these rights can force the hand of the woman and, when given the choice, some women are choosing an...

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When to Use a Comma Before 'Because'

A reader named JC asked when he needs a comma before the word "because." He wondered about this exchange:

What did you like about camp?

I liked swimming and hiking because they were fun.

Does he need a comma before "because they were fun"?

The short answer is no.

It’s unusual to put a comma before "because." You only do it when you need the comma to prevent confusion because your sentence could have two meanings.

The Chicago Manual of Style has an excellent entry on this topic in its Q&A section online. It gives the example

He didn’t run because he was afraid.

Without a comma, you don’t know whether the writer means that the reason the man didn’t run was that he was afraid or whether the writer means there was some different reason the man ran.

If you put a comma before "because" ("He didn’t run, because he was afraid"), it’s clear that the part after the comma is extra information: the reason the man didn’t run—because he was afraid.

If you leave out the comma, you should probably add clarifying information to the end of the sentence. For example, you could write,

He didn’t run because he was afraid; he ran because the fire made his hiding place too hot.

You can imagine other sentences in which "because" may be ambiguous:

She didn’t want to cook because it was her birthday. (Does she want to have a break from cooking on her birthday, or does she want to cook for some other reason? She didn't want to cook because it was her birthday; she wanted to cook because she likes her own cooking better than restaurant food.)

Often a sentence that needs a comma before "because" will start with a negative statement, like both our previous examples—"He didn’t run" and "She didn’t want to cook"—but sometimes a positive sentence needs a comma too. Consider this example:

I heard Marylou got fired because Bob was gossiping in my dad’s store.

Did Marylou get fired because of Bob’s gossiping or did the writer hear about the firing from Bob’s gossiping? It’s not clear without a comma. If you put a comma before "because," it’s clear that the writer heard about it from Bob. If you mean that gossiping was the cause of the firing, it’s best...

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Which Parts of 'Pirate Talk' Are Authentic and Which Come from Disney?

Most of us only think of “Ahoy There, Matey!” and “Me Hearties!” once a year on International Talk Like A Pirate Day, a day when landlubbers can joke about walking the plank and being scalawags with abandon. But for linguists, the allure of pirate language and what it reveals about language and social life on the high seas is a year-round fascination. 

Although the average person’s idea of how pirates spoke is generally limited to a random "arr" and "yar," true pirate talk likely began in earnest in the late 1700s and early 1800s, a period known as the golden age of piracy. 

Privateering and pirate ships were crewed by sailors from around the world.

Privateering and pirate ships were crewed by sailors from around the world, but the majority spoke a hybridized version of English known as Maritime Pidgin English. This variety was a contact English, or lingua franca, strongly influenced by European traders’ contact with West African languages and the multicultural diversity found on board slaving and trading ships.

In the 17th century, certain coastal ports became well known as "pirate nests," offering safe harbor to those who felt marauding and pillaging made for a better living than more legal nautical gigs. According to historian Mark Hanna, author of "Pirate Nests and the Rise of the British Empire," one well-known pirate nest was in what is referred to as the "West Country" in Southwestern England, an area that includes counties such as Devon, Bristol, Dorset, and Cornwall.

This area had a long maritime history and also happened to be where many British sailors hailed from, including a fair number who turned to piracy. For instance, West County native Sir Francis Drake—a decorated sailor with a side hustle as a pirate and illegal slave trader—is a perfect example of how little difference there could often be. The famous dastardly pirate Blackbeard was also rumored to have been born in Bristol. As a result, some romanticizing about pirate life and language developed within this region based on its pirate proclivities. 

Robert...

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7 Back-to-School Life Hacks for Families

Prevent an apple from browning

You can preslice an apple, then nestle the wedges back together to minimize browning. A simple rubber band around the width of the apple secures the slices. Works great for kids’ lunchboxes!

Safely store important papers

You need a place to store the kids’ artwork and diplomas when newer ones take up the space on the fridge. Try rolling them tightly in paper towel tubes so they won’t crease, then label the outside, so you know what’s what.

Check out Project Parenthood's episode on reducing back-to-school anxiety with trauma informed parenthing. 

Homemade glitter

If your kids need glitter in an emergency (and who hasn’t had a glitter emergency?), you can make your own at home. Just take a cup of salt, add 10 to 15 drops of your favorite food coloring, and mix it thoroughly. Microwave on high for 2 to 3 minutes, then spread it out on a sheet of nonstick foil or wax paper to dry. If you don’t use it all right away, store it in an airtight container.

Erase face paint easily

Face paint is an undeniable part of kids’ Halloween and sports-fan fun. But getting it off easily can be a problem. One trick that’s worked for us is olive oil. Simply rub it onto the skin with a dry cloth, then wipe off with a wet cloth.

Check out Who Knew's article 12 Tips and Ideas for a Fun, Easy, and Inexpensive Halloween

Erase pen marks from skin

Our kids drive us crazy by writing notes and drawing all over their hands (thankfully, not answers to tests, as far as we know). The fastest way to clean them up? Green or black tea bags. Once you’ve brewed a cup of tea, use the wet bag to dab at ink stains.

Make mud stains disappear

When kids come home with fresh mud stains on their clothes, don’t apply water! Instead, let the mud dry, then use a piece of duct tape (or packing tape) to lift up all of the hardened dirt you can. Then wash as usual.

Protect books

Whether in your bag or your kids’ backpack, books can get damaged when pages fly open. Keep books closed by wrapping a rubber band around them.

See Modern Mentor's article on How to Ease Into Back-to-School Without Losing Your Mind

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The Siege: Could the Berlin Airlift Save the City?

A besieged city requires a number of essentials if the inhabitants are to be kept alive. Clean drinking water is vital, as is sufficient food, fuel, and medication. An acute shortage of food cost thousands of lives during the Siege of Leningrad (1941–44), while a lack of fuel caused extreme deprivation during the 1870 Siege of Paris. A further requirement is the maintenance of morale: If the besieged inhabitants lose faith in their leaders, the will to resist is rapidly undermined.

Western Berlin’s stockpile of supplies was meager indeed in the spring of 1948. The small British garrison had enough food for 37 days, but the population of the city’s Western sectors, some 2.4 million people, could be fed for just 27 days. There would be enough petrol for 10 weeks if it were severely rationed, and coal for perhaps half this time.

American warehouses also contained two hundred tons of condensed milk and a stockpile of powdered milk, emergency supplies that Howley had prudently imported to the city. Yet it was nowhere near enough. Grand historical parallels were uppermost in Howley’s mind in those opening days of the siege. “The cold inhuman minds of the Kremlin had reached a wicked decision, the most barbarous in history since Genghis Khan reduced conquered cities to pyramids of skulls.” Howley knew that the closing of the land routes had marked the end of the Phoney War and the beginning of a battle for survival.

The small British garrison had enough food for 37 days, but the population of the city’s Western sectors, some 2.4 million people, could be fed for just 27 days.

“June 24, 1948, is one of the most infamous dates in the history of civilization,” he wrote, adding that it was the day on which “the Russians tried to murder an entire city to gain a political advantage.” It was conquest by starvation, pure and simple. “There we were, in a land-locked city, trapped in the Bear’s paws.”

Berlin’s situation was different from all previous sieges in one important respect: only the Western half of the city was blockaded, and Berliners could still cross into the Soviet sector. True, there was a marked increase in the number of checkpoints—more than seventy on the main crossing points—and the Communist police were prone to confiscate food and goods, yet the subway lines remained open, and the besieged inhabitants of the West were enticed into the Soviet sector by the promise of extra rations.

The situation seemed hopeless to most of the city’s inhabitants as well as to the Western-allied garrisons. Howley alone harbored a ray of optimism for the showdown to follow. “Although the Reds had succeeded in cutting us off completely by land, depriving us of the...

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Smart Home Insurance Savings Tips for Homeowners and Renters

Smart home technology is changing the way we live and can even save money. By connecting one or more smart home devices to apps on your smartphone, you can control various appliances, security features, and utilities. 

Whether smart technology allows you to monitor water leaks, who's at your doorstep, your air conditioning and heating, sprinkler system, window coverings, lighting, or power use, it can make your life easier and make you appear less risky to your home insurer.

To discuss what homeowners and renters should know about using smart home devices to save money, I interviewed Melanie Musson. She's a home insurance expert with Clearsurance.com, an insurance comparison site.

We cover lots of money-saving tips, including:

• How to know if installing a smart home device can pay off in the long run

• Tips for managing insurance when your home's value is rising

• Various ways you benefit from using smart home devices

• Types of devices that save the most on insurance and protect your property

• Which insurers offer the best smart home device partnerships

• The difference between replacement and cash value home and renters coverage

• Tips to be a savvy insurance shopper and get more coverage for your money

...

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What is Vitamin U?

I received an email this week from a new listener, who writes:

"I just found your podcast this year and I'm working through the episodes. I'm currently on the episodes from 2010. I've been learning new and interesting ways to eat better and feel fabulous, to borrow your catchphrase. I recently saw a video on vitamin U. Would you do an episode on what it is and why it's good for you?"

After 13 years of the Nutrition Diva podcast, there aren't many nutrients that I haven't mentioned at least once. But I have never talked about vitamin U. Let's set the record straight

What is vitamin U?

Vitamin U is not a true vitamin but rather a sulfur-containing compound found in cabbage and other vegetables in the brassica family. (Its chemical name is s-methylmethionine.) In the 1950s, it was thought to be an effective treatment for peptic ulcers—which is why it was dubbed vitamin U. 

Back then, we believed that painful stomach ulcers were caused by stress and spicy foods. Standard treatment was a bland diet and antacids, which helped somewhat. But apparently, not nearly as much as cabbage juice. A handful of studies from this time (including one conducted among inmates at San Quentin prison!) found that drinking raw cabbage juice relieved pain better and healed ulcers more quickly than the usual approach. 

Today we know that, while stress and spicy food can certainly exacerbate symptoms if you already have an ulcer, they don't actually cause ulcers. So, what does? 

Certain medications can injure the stomach lining and if you're taking one of those medications, that would be the first suspect. But aside from that, ulcers are almost always caused by an infection of h. pylori bacteria. The standard treatment is a course of antibiotics to knock out the bacteria, which is highly effective—not to mention a lot less unpleasant than drinking a quart of raw cabbage juice every day.

We've also learned that long-term use of antacids can have a lot of unintended consequences, including increased risk of osteoporosis and bone fractures, nutrient deficiencies, and intestinal infections. It turns out that maintaining an acidic environment in the stomach plays an important role in our health. So it's just as well that we no longer treat ulcers by chugging milk-of-magnesia.  

See also: How to Avoid Acid Reflux

What does vitamin U do?

We still don't know too much about how s-methylmethionine worked to heal ulcers—or whether something else in the cabbage juice may have been part of the effect. And now that we have a...

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