10 Ghastly Words for Ghosts

Today is Halloween: the day many people celebrate all things spooky, spectral, and scary. And what’s scarier than a ghost? With that in mind, today we’re going to talk about all the words we use to describe ghosts.

Let’s start with one that’s also a favorite movie from the 1980s: “poltergeist.”

Poltergeist

This word was borrowed into English from German in the mid-1800s. It’s a mashup of the word “polter,” which means to make a loud noise, or to rumble and thud — and the word “geist,” which means a ghost or spirit. In other words, a poltergeist is a really noisy ghost, one that’s often more interested in annoying its victims than hurting them.

A related word is “zeitgeist.” This refers to the unique flavor of a certain time like the counter-culture mood of the 1960s. The word is another mashup using “geist,” although here it refers more to a spirit than a ghost per se. “Zeit” means “time,” so “zeitgeist” literally means “time spirit”— that is, the spirit or mood of a particular era.

Ghoul

Let’s move on to the word “ghoul.” I had always thought this was a general word referring to any old ghost. But apparently it’s a lot more specific. 

It comes from the word Arabic “ghūl.” Its root means “to seize.” And in Muslim countries, a ghul is an evil spirit that seizes things — specifically, human corpses from graves. Then, it eats them.   

I’ll never underestimate what a ghoul is again.

Banshee, Fetch, Kelpie, Wraith, and Bogle

Irish and Scottish cultures have several interesting words for ghosts. There’s the Irish “banshee,” a female spirit whose wailing sends a warning that death is on the way. It comes from the Old Irish “ben side,” meaning “a woman of the fairies.” The famous cry of this spirit is where we get the phrase “howling like a banshee.”

There’s also the Irish “fetch,” the wraith or double of a living person; it’s the equivalent of the German “doppelganger.” Supposedly, if you see your fetch in the morning, you’ll have a long, happy life. If you see it in the evening, death is soon to come.

In Scotland, there’s the ”kelpie,” “wraith,” and “bogle.” All three words are distinctly Scottish but have murky origins. 

A kelpie is a water-spirit or water-demon. They can take on various shapes, but they are said to usually look like a horse. They haunt lakes and rivers, and they like nothing better than to lure people into the water and watch them drown. 

A...

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What Is a ‘Quid pro Quo’?

If you’ve been following American politics for the last month or two, you are practically drowning in the phrase “quid pro quo,” and lots of people have been asking me about what it means and how to use it.

Google Trends search results for "quid pro quo" in October 2019.

What Is a ‘Quid pro Quo’?

“Quid” and “quo” are both Latin pronouns, and the word “pro” in the middle of “quid pro quo” means “for.” Latin dictionaries and old schoolbooks give multiple meanings for these pronouns, but modern sources agree that the interpretation of the Latin phrase “quid pro quo” is “something for something.” Technically, it can mean any kind of exchange or transaction, but these days it usually has a sense of corruption, as in “Was there a quid pro quo? Did Squiggly give you those chocolate donuts for an A on that test?”

It’s generally a noun (as in “Was there a quid pro quo?”), but you can also use it as an attributive to modify a noun, as in “It’s a quid pro quo issue.”

What Is the Origin of ‘Quid pro Quo’?

Interestingly, the phrase was used in a much more limited way when it first arose in the 16th century. According to Merriam-Webster, it was used when an apothecary substituted one kind of medicine for another, sometimes by accident and sometimes fraudulently on purpose. Sometimes it was fine—close enough—but as Ben Zimmer pointed out in an NPR interview, sometimes it would make people sick, so it wasn’t viewed as a good thing even back then. And then within just a few decades, the phrase started being used more generally.

Why Are There Two Different Latin Words for ‘Something’?

You might be wondering why we have two different words for “something”? Why isn’t it “quid pro quid” or “quo pro quo”?

Well, they aren’t two different words, exactly. According to the OED, “quō” is the...

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4 Tips for Tackling Midterm Essays

Midterms often have a tendency of sneaking up on you. One minute you’re starting the semester and settling into a routine, and the next you’re facing a midterm exam that will have a major impact on your grade. While this can prompt a great deal of stress, midterms can be successfully tackled with thoughtful planning and preparation. One style midterm you may encounter incorporates essays. Depending on your teacher and course, the essay could be given in class during the allotted midterm exam time, or in the form of a take-home assignment.

There are many strategies you can implement to ace your midterm essay. Keep reading to learn four tips for tackling midterm essays this fall. 

1. Take good notes and use them wisely

As mentioned above, depending on the class or instructor, your midterm essay might be written in class or completed as a take-home assignment. Regardless, your most important task is to showcase a high-level of understanding of the material the class has covered so far. Set yourself up for success by going to class and taking detailed notes. Pay close attention to recurring themes and note the questions and topics from any previous quizzes or assignments. 

Going through your notes after each class will further cement the information in your brain.

Additionally, don’t wait until right before it’s time to write your essay to review your notes. Going through your notes after each class will further cement the information in your brain. It can also help to work with a study group, as sharing notes can help fill in any gaps you might have regarding the material. 

2. Manage your time wisely

Whether you’re writing the essay outside of class or in an exam setting, you’ll need to have a strategy for using your time wisely. 

In the case of a take-home essay exam, this is as simple as giving yourself deadlines for each stage. For example, create a schedule for making an outline, writing a first draft, making revisions, and finalizing your essay. Make sure you allow time for proofreading to avoid any last-minute errors...

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Transcript: An Interview with Curtis Chen

12 Tips and Ideas for a Fun, Easy, and Inexpensive Halloween

Finalize Your Thanksgiving Travel Now to Save

If you want to fly home for Thanksgiving, but don’t want to spend your savings, then you’ll love this tip from our friends at The Penny Hoarder. The best time to buy Thanksgiving airline tickets is about 60 to 70 days ahead. But it’s OK if you missed that window. Travel experts say prices don’t vary much until about a month ahead. As long as you finalize your Thanksgiving air travel plans by Halloween, you shouldn’t be paying ridiculous prices. You could also plan your travel for less popular days; specifically, Monday, November 21 through Friday, November 25. These hacks could save you 20 percent on flights, so be sure to mark your calendars! For more money hacks, visit ThePennyHoarder.com.

Cheap and Easy Halloween Decoration

Adding stretchy cobwebs to the doorjambs and corners of your home is a great way to add Halloween flair to the entire house. Instead of buying the ones packaged as spider webs, though, simply go to a craft store and buy a bag of fiberfill. It’s the exact same stuff, and a 16-ounce bag of fiberfill is less than half the cost. You can usually find bags of plastic spider rings for super-cheap at party supply or superstores—add them to the webs and on tables around your house for more atmosphere, and encourage your guests to take them home!

Make Jack-o’-Lanterns Last Longer

A problem we used to have every Halloween was that our pumpkins got soft and mushy soon after they were carved. It turns out that this happens because air comes in contact with the inside flesh, allowing bacteria to grow. So to solve the problem of every jack-o-lantern looking like an old man, we now spray the inside of the hollowed-out pumpkin with an antiseptic spray, which slows down the bacterial growth and increases the time it takes for the pumpkin to deteriorate. Just make sure no one eats a pumpkin that has been sprayed! You can also try using WD-40 spray instead (just don’t use a real candle inside!).

Jack-o’-Lantern Candle Alternatives

A candle looks eerily beautiful when burning inside a carved pumpkin, but electric lights last longer and burn even more brightly. To give your pumpkin a long-lasting glow, curl up a string of Christmas lights, stick them in a clear plastic bag, and place the bag inside the pumpkin. Carve a small hole in the back of your pumpkin to plug the lights into an electrical outlet. Or, use a “wickless candles” which is a battery-operated fake candle, made to imitate the light from a real one.

To give your pumpkin a long-lasting glow, curl up a string of Christmas...

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How to Break Through and Overcome Financial Hardships

Your life and personal finances don’t always go the way you hope. We all have struggles and no one achieves success without their share of hurdles and challenges. However, there are tools that can help you break through financial hardships and live the life you want.

I interviewed AJ Gibson, author of Flipping the Script: Bouncing Back from Life’s Rock Bottom Moments, an Amazon #1 new release. We talk about the personal, professional, and financial challenges that he’s overcome.

AJ is a Los-Angeles based TV host, public speaker, and coach who loves great people, food, fashion, entertainment, and travel. He’s been the host of the nationally syndicated daytime talk show, Hollywood Today Live, a co-host on Access Hollywood Live, and a frequent anchor on Good Day LA. You’ll see him on CBS’s The Talk and even on several episodes of The Wendy Williams Show.

His journey from being a closeted gay boy in Ohio to a host chatting with the some of the world’s most admired celebrities on Hollywood’s biggest red carpets is incredibly inspiring. He has a gift for busting through life’s roadblocks and persevering despite failure.

On the Money Girl podcast, AJ and I chatted about key lessons from his book. You’ll learn how to shift your perspective to find the beauty in life’s most challenging moments. We cover:

• Overcoming the financial hurdles of becoming self-employed
• Tips for reaching financial goals when you have big dreams
• Why fear and shame may be causing you to ignore your financial situation
• Leaning on professionals to help stay on top of your financial life
• Tools for turning hopelessness into a positive, fresh outlook on your future
• Using a focus wheel for daily motivation to achieve your dreams and goals

Listen to the interview using the audio player above, or check it out on Apple Podcasts, SoundCloud, Stitcher, and Spotify

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Laura Adams received an MBA from the University of Florida. She's an award-winning personal finance author, speaker, and consumer advocate who is a trusted and frequent source for the national media. Her book, ...

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3 Strategies for Eating Healthier—Which One Works Best?

Could your eating habits be better?

You’re in good company. Despite decades of haranguing by parents, health professionals, government agencies, and podcasters, the average American is still eating too much sugar and highly processed foods and too few fruits and vegetables. We’re taking in too many calories and too few nutrients. As a result we’re both overweight and undernourished.

The causes of our dietary discretions are well-documented. The proliferation of cheap, high-calorie, and  hyper-palatable food and beverages, as well as the normalization of huge portion sizes and constant snacking have created an environment and culture in which it takes super-human effort and willpower to not overeat. 

The question: How do we change all this? Put calories on restaurant menus? Hide the ice cream in the back of the freezer? Serve dinner on smaller dinner plates? Post healthy eating messages in cafeterias, breakrooms, and on our refrigerators at home? 

You name it, someone has tried it. And many of these strategies work—at least a little. But are any of them really making a dent? 

Best ways to promote healthy habits

What are the most effective ways to encourage healthy behaviors that will ultimately result in improved health? A pair of French researchers (Romain Cadario and Pierre Chandon) set out to find out. They identified 96 research studies that employed various strategies for nudging people toward healthy choices and compared their results to determine which seemed to be most effective. 

In this particular study, the researchers calculated how each nudge impacted total daily calorie intake. Now, admittedly, reducing calories is not the only way a nudge might improve your nutrition. But with obesity being such a primary concern, it’s certainly relevant. And this metric does allow us to compare the effects of a lot of different types of interventions. 

A nudge was defined as anything that altered people’s behavior without outright forbidding something or using economic incentives.

A nudge, in this case, was defined as anything that altered people’s behavior without outright forbidding something or using economic incentives. For example, if an employer wanted to...

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14 All-Natural Cold & Allergy Fighters

These solutions are easy, cheap, and best of all, natural. Using essential oils and other home remedy heros, you'll be on your way to breathing right in no time! 

Soothe Your Throat

1. Ease an Itch Through Your Ear
If you’ve got an itch in your throat, scratch your ear. When the nerves in the ear get stimulated, they create a reflex in the throat that causes a muscle spasm, which cures the itch.

2. Salt Solution
Saltwater is a tried-and-true way to soothe throat irritation. But it does more than relieve pain—it may actually work to draw infections or irritants to the surface of your throat, where your body is better able to deal with them. Dissolve ½ to 1 teaspoon salt in 8 ounces warm water for an inflammation-taming gargle that you can use every hour or two. (Hint: Save those salt packets from restaurant takeout orders—each one is 1 teaspoon, making it easy to bring relief on the go.) For even more infection-fighting power, add a few dashes of turmeric.

3. Tea for Relief
Any warm beverage will feel great going down, but this tea contains honey and herbs that fight infection and reduce inflammation. Combine 1 clove, ¼ teaspoon powdered ginger, and 1/8 teaspoon ground cinnamon. Place the spice mixture in a tea infuser in 2 cups boiling water. Stir in 4 teaspoons honey, and sip your way to soothing!

4. Sage-Echinacea Throat Spray
Another infection-fighting herbal combo works great as a spray! Pour ¾ cup boiling water over 2 tablespoons each sage leaves and marshmallow or licorice root. Steep for 30 minutes, then strain. Add ¼ cup echinacea tincture and 1 tablespoon honey. Pour into a clean spray bottle, and shake before spraying twice for each use a few times a day. Keep in the fridge between uses for up to a week.

Clear Your Nose

5. Press for Relief in 20 Seconds
Let’s get right to the (pressure) point! You can clear your stuffy nose and pressure-filled head by pushing your tongue against the roof of your mouth while pressing a finger between your eyebrows. Hold for 20 seconds, and you’ll start to feel draining—and freedom to breathe again! The science: Pressing these two points causes the vomer bone (running through the nasal passages to the mouth) to rock, which loosens your congestion and moves fluid.

6. DIY Saline Drops
You can buy saline nasal spray or drops to soothe dry nasal passages and sinuses, and clear out mucus, bacteria, and allergens. But it’s simple to make your own nasal rinse that’s just as effective. In ½ cup warm water, mix ¼ teaspoon sea salt and 1/8 teaspoon baking soda. Pair with a...

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8 Exercises that Will Turn You into a Powerful Hiker

A listener named Tess who lives in the Southern Hemisphere called the Get-Fit Guy hotline and asked:

"It's spring here in New Zealand, and I am starting to think about heading for the hills to start hiking again. Do you have suggestions for exercises in the gym that would be useful to get me fit enough? The type of hiking I do involves big steps up and down and scrambling over rocks, so in the past I've found getting a bit of leg strength has been good."

Tess is right on the mark. Getting a bit of leg strength is a great place to start. But I would also encourage her to work on her leg stability, balance, core strength, and overall stamina if she really wants to become a powerful hiker who can go anywhere with ease and confidence.

You need strength, stamina, agility, and balance to tackle those wilderness trails.

The truth is, hiking is not just a walk in the woods. You really do need strength, stamina, agility, and balance to tackle those wilderness trails. 

Be prepared

Unless you're among the most active of people in the world, you won't enjoy yourself if you simply stand up from your couch or desk, slip on your hiking shoes, and hit the trail. You'll most likely need to prepare for your hike. 

Trails are the opposite of the flat, smooth surfaces we're used to walking on. They're uneven, tend to include some amount of elevation gain, and may have obstacles that you'll need to navigate. The good news is that preparing for these challenges isn't as hard as you think and won't cost you hours and hours in the gym. 

Movements to build into your daily life

Here are a few things you can start doing as a part of your normal routine without even calling them a workout. 

Whenever possible, get off the safe and smooth pavement and walk on a surface that challenges your proprioception.

Start spending more time walking on uneven or unstable surfaces. Navigating uneven terrain can go a long way toward building strong and pain-free feet. Find some gravel, sand, or dirt and walk on it. Whenever possible, get off the safe and smooth pavement and walk on a surface that challenges your proprioception (sense stimuli arising within the body regarding position, motion, and equilibrium). Doing this builds the neural connections and muscles that will protect your hips, knees, ankles, and feet when you're on a long and challenging hike. 

Increase your range of motion by moving more of your body, more often, in more different ways. Do things like squatting to unload the...

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5 Real-Life Monsters to Fuel Your Nightmares

I love anything spooky, whether it’s suspenseful tension, over-the-top gore, or just plain disconcerting creepiness. And apparently I’m not the only one. Horror movies are quickly gaining in popularity. In 2017, the horror genre grossed more than $1 billion in ticket sales for the first time ever.

Some say it’s our inner bad guy that draws us to horror. Others say it’s being able to experience the thrill of danger while knowing we're in the safe confines of a movie theater or our living room.

But what happens when these creepy crawlies and things that go bump in the night aren’t just a part of our silver screen imaginations? Let’s investigate some real life monsters. I'll leave you to decide whether they're totally cool or nightmare fuel.

Giant squid 

Release the kraken! Let’s start off with one of my biggest fears: giant squid.

Giant squid have always deeply freaked me out. They can grow as big as 45 feet long (at least the females can), and they have eyes the size of dinner plates. They can snatch you from as far as 33 feet away by shooting out one of their feeding tentacles. If that’s not creepy, I don’t know what is. 

They can snatch you from as far as 33 feet away by shooting out one of their feeding tentacles.

You might consider this a silly thing to be afraid of. Krakens—I mean, giant squid—are typically only found at ocean depths below 1,000 feet (that’s about 300 meters). But I once saw a documentary that claimed giant squid were “more common than you think.” Now, I hear that phrase whenever my logical brain tries to convince me that I will very likely never ever in my life encounter a giant squid. 

Exaggerated versions of a giant tentacled sea monster known as the kraken have long appeared in Scandinavian folklore, possibly based on sightings of actual giant squid. They’ve also wreaked havoc in movies. The god Zeus in Clash of the Titans called upon one as he famously yelled, “Release the kraken!” Davy Jones called on a giant squid to destroy the ships of his adversaries in Pirates of the Caribbean. Of course, a real-life giant squid wouldn't be able to sink a ship, so you're probably safe on your next all-inclusive ocean cruise.

So, how common are they? A giant squid would be hard to miss if you encountered one. Wikipedia even has a page that claims ...

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Tackle Complex Projects and Connections with This Simple System

Today we’re going to tackle how to juggle multiple people and projects while keeping everything well under control.

Europa was verklemmt! Her day job is as an office manager at Green Growing Things, the carnivorous plant store that specializes in Audrey IIs. By night, she’s the secret ruler of the Eastern Bloc. She’s got a lot on her plate.

She’s trying to juggle relationships with dozens of world leaders, clandestine negotiations with governments, and appearances at the local plant appreciation lunch club. And on top of everything else, her angst-ridden teenage cyborg son, Thomas, has been dating the toaster. Sometimes she doesn’t know how a single parent is supposed to cope.

With so much going on, important issues seem to come up every few minutes. Dealing with any one of those issues might involve delicate negotiations with several people. Having all of them hitting at once leaves Europa’s head spinning. She just can’t keep track of who needs to know what, and when.

“The President of Nowhereistan has just placed an order for the world’s largest supply of squirt guns, paid for in untraceable cryptocurrency.”

She’s sure that Vlad, Angela, and Boris have an opinion on this. But the next time she calls Boris to demand her tribute, she gets so caught up asking him to place an order for a dozen Audrey IIs that she completely forgets to mention Nowhereistan. Then she asks Angela to have the intelligence agencies do a background check on the toaster, before realizing how absurd the whole notion is.

When there’s way too much going on, you need a system for quickly organizing all that stuff so you can put your fingers (or toes, or noodly appendages) on it the moment you need it.

Create a note for every person

This is one area where the electronic solution really shines. Open your notepad program and create a separate note for each person you are communicating with. Create the notes in a folder called AGENDA in your notes app. You can also title each one so you can clearly identify it as an agenda.

Europa quickly creates AGENDA VLAD, AGENDA ANGELA, AGENDA BORIS, and AGENDA THOMAS.

Since I’m often invited to participate in online summits, or do public speaking engagements, I often have introductory conversations with people scheduled weeks in advance. If PAT KITTY emails asking to schedule an introductory conversation, I even create AGENDA PAT KITTY. Being electronic, there’s no cost to creating notes for people you’ll only talk to once.

Stay tuned. You’ll use these shortly.

Set aside a time to organize

When you’re going about your day, you’ll get incoming messages and have stray thoughts about your various projects and...

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Dave Itzkoff on Writing a Biography of Robin Williams

In this interview, Mignon Fogarty and Dave Itzkoff, New York Times culture writer, author of the book "Robin," and host of the new podcast "Knowing: Robin Williams," talked about:

• How Dave got the contract to write a book about Robin Williams
• How Dave dealt with people who were reluctant to be interviewed
• Which people surprised Dave in interviews
• How a biographer can find out details about the subject's background and the culture of the time
• How Robin's upbringing influenced his later life
• How Dave technologically manages his writing
• What Dave thinks is the hardest part of writing a biography
• How the podcast "Knowing: Robin Williams" came to be

You can listen to the entire interview by clicking the player above or by finding the Grammar Girl podcast on any podcasting app, but if you prefer to read it, we also have a complete (rough) transcript.

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5 Tips for a Memorable Holiday Card for Your Business

In a time when most communication takes place online, receiving a personal holiday card in the mail is a welcome treat—and one that can help build stronger business relationships while supporting your company’s brand.

So how can you be sure that your company’s holiday card earns a place on the mantel or card display and isn’t just tossed in the recycling bin? Start with a high-quality card from a well-known stationer like Crane, and then remember these tips.

1. Reflect Your Brand

Although sending a holiday card spreads cheer and acknowledges the spirit of the season, it’s a marketing tool ultimately, giving you a chance to thank your customers for their business and maintain top-of-mind awareness. Therefore, it’s important that the design you choose reflects your company brand and sends the right message to customers. Try to choose card designs that align with your brand colors, imagery, fonts, and overall corporate identity. That doesn’t mean you have to stick to boring or conservative designs, but you should consider the message you’re sending. Even conservative businesses like accountants or attorneys can incorporate whimsical or colorful designs into their cards when done appropriately.

2. Consider a Photo

Photo cards are among the most popular design choices for holiday cards. After all, who doesn’t love seeing the smiling faces of friends and family that they might see all that often? Photo cards are also appropriate for businesses and are likely to get the recipients to look more closely at them. Photo cards work well both for businesses where customers have regular contact with your team and for those where your customers might not see you and want to put faces to names. They are also a great choice for family businesses. Including a family photo on the holiday card supports your “family-owned” brand and a personal touch to the card.

3. Make it Personal

Speaking of adding a personal touch, the most memorable holiday cards are those that have a personal touch. Nothing will send your card to the bin faster than a preprinted card that was clearly a mass mailing. People want to feel special and acknowledged, and adding a personal touch to the card creates that feeling. Hand-signing cards is ideal, but not always practical, but many printing companies can add digital signatures that mimic the look of a signature. Another option is to have your team send cards to specific clients with a personalized message thanking them for their business or mentioning a specific memory...

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The Best Way in the World to Keep Your Partner Happy

Today, I'm going to show you the best, sure-fire, works-every-time, easiest way in the world to make any partner happy, and make yourself happier by extension.

That's a big promise, I know. We therapists don't usually make promises. But this one can really change your life. And I’m going to tell it to you absolutely free ... in a minute.

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But first, I want to tell you a story.

My most unhappy patient

A long time ago, before I became a sex and relationship therapist, I was a regular therapist. I had just a few patients, and I’d meet with them every week, for months and years, listening to their problems and trying to figure out how to help them.

I had one patient who absolutely drove me crazy. She’d come into my office, sit down, and immediately start ranting.

She ranted about everything—her work, her life, her parents. I could never manage to get in more than a few words before she’d start ranting again. It wasn’t long before she started ranting about me, too. It was useless talking to me, she said. No one understood her—least of all, me.

Some serious advice about being happier

Not sure what to do, I called an older colleague and described the situation. He listened carefully and made a few suggestions. Then, almost as an afterthought, he said something I've remembered ever since:

"Don't forget to enjoy her."

For a moment, I wondered if he'd gone soft in the head. But as I continued to sit with my patient, day after day, week after week, I realized my colleague was on to something.

No one, as far as she or I could tell, had ever really enjoyed this woman. Her parents, she said, were awful people—always critical. And she'd been a difficult child—irritable, quick-tempered, not an easy person to get along with.

Once I decided just to let her be, she calmed down, stopped ranting, and started to get better.

Clearly, something had gone seriously wrong very early in my patient's life. And now, ever since, she’d been playing the same drama over and over again with everyone she met.

I decided to set everything else aside momentarily and see whether I could find something about this woman to enjoy. It turned out to be unexpectedly easy. She had all sorts of interesting, quirky opinions about all sorts of things. I disagreed with most of them, but hey, who was I to judge?

Once I started to relax a bit with her, she started to relax, too. She had a goofy sense of humor that I'd never noticed before. Once I decided just to let her be, she calmed down, stopped ranting, and started to get better.

The world's best secret to making your partner happy...

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How to Handle Your Child's Tantrums—5 Easy Strategies

This morning your three-year-old was an adorable ray of sunshine. Then, within seconds of announcing it was time to leave the park and go home, her happy-go-lucky mood changed into a raging outburst like a scene in a cringe-worthy horror movie. (With dozens of bystanders in the vicinity, of course!)

What the heck just happened? A tantrum, that’s what! Your child was in the full-blown throes of a meltdown.

No parent enjoys tantrums. But the fact is, they’re a normal part of childhood that every family experiences. The next time your child has a blood-curdling meltdown, try one of these five simple strategies. They’ll help you embrace the moment, rather than cringe, and soon you'll both be feeling the love again.

Strategy #1: Stay calm

Although getting angry might be your first reaction when you’re dealing with an explosive outburst, getting riled up is counterproductive. Kids feed off of the emotional atmosphere around them.

The best thing you can do is to remain calm. Don’t challenge your child when he’s angry. Instead, show him the calm demeanor you want him to mirror.

When one of my kids is pushing my buttons or doing something that I find completely unacceptable, I count to ten (sometimes a lot more!) and talk myself down. Stay calm and in control, this too shall pass.

Take a few seconds to get your feelings in check and shift from being frustrated and ready to lash out to a calmer state.

By taking a few seconds to get my own feelings in check, I can usually shift from being frustrated and ready to lash out to a calmer state. Then, I can handle my child’s situation without losing my composure. When you work to manage your own behavior first, you effectively neutralize the power struggle.

RELATED: 10 Ways to Handle Difficult Days

Strategy #2: Know your child’s trigger points

Tantrums usually arise from one simple thing—a child not getting what she wants. When a child doesn’t get her way, she responds with frustration and, in order to get your attention, she throws a fit. Tantrums are like a test your child is giving to you, her parent. How well do you understand her needs?

In an article about tantrums by The Child Mind Institute, Dr. Vasco Lopes, a clinical psychologist, explained:

A majority of kids who have frequent meltdowns do it in very predictable, circumscribed...

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Key Ways to Encourage an Athletic Child without Pushing Them

Do you have a child who’s a born athlete who can pick up any sport? Or perhaps your kid is incredibly skilled at a particular sporting field? Either way, it’s natural to want to help them succeed and pursue excellence. 

However, also be careful to encourage your child to further their passions and abilities without pushing them so much that they end up feeling excessive pressure. 

Too much force and too many expectations from parents can cause children significant stress and other emotional distress, and lead to them losing interest in a sport altogether. Avoid this situation by thinking about ways you can encourage your child effectively.

Foster experimentation and breaks

It pays to foster experimentation in sport. While some children find a single type of exercise they adore and want to focus on, many times they’re pushed into one particular sport by a parent or other adult. It’s fine for them to have a favorite, but instead of having your child only compete in a single sport year-round, encourage them to mix things up. 

If they diversify with numerous sports, they’ll not only avoid getting sick of their top option but also build up additional strengths and skill sets.

If they diversify with numerous sports, they’ll not only avoid getting sick of their top option but also build up additional strengths and skill sets that can help them across the board. Let your child test out new activities at school, on weekends through local clubs, and during vacation time via quality youth athletic training programs that cover numerous fields. 

It’s helpful, too, to make sure your child spends time doing other activities besides sport. When they have other interests in life, there isn’t an unbalanced focus on athletics. Plus, children need to have a break from sport at times to avoid burnout and stay healthy....

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4 Things Never to Say or Do When Someone Has Anxiety

“It’s not a big deal.”

“You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“It’s all in your head.”

“Just relax.”

Have people uttered phrases like these when you were anxious or worried about something? Were they helpful?

I didn’t think so.

Anxiety is such a universal phenomenon that you'd be hard-pressed to find anyone who hasn’t been a nervous wreck at least sometimes in their life. In fact, about one-third of people have had an anxiety disorder at some point. This can include anxiety about a specific situation, such as having a phobia of heights, or anxiety about a lot of things, such as having generalized anxiety disorder. Some types of anxiety disorders are well-known, like social anxiety disorder—it’s easy to imagine someone who feels pathologically awkward at parties or is deathly afraid of speaking in front of a crowd. You may even be that person!

RELATED: The Best Social Anxiety Hacks for Any Occasion

But other anxiety-related disorders are difficult for most people to relate to. Why is grandma stubbornly unwilling to throw out those old newspapers, even though they’ve piled up so much that they’re blocking the way to her bathroom? Why does my roommate jump-scare so easily, even at the slightest unexpected noise? How come my neighbor needs to check whether he locked the front door at least three times whenever he leaves the house?

Talking to someone with anxiety is not as intuitive as you may think!

This article isn't about deep-diving into the mysteries of anxiety disorders and where they come from—we'll save that for a separate discussion. Instead, we'll focus on how you, as a friend, or even a stranger, can help someone who is actively feeling the burn of anxiety.

Read on, because talking to someone with anxiety is not as intuitive as you may think! Let’s take a look at the most common things people say and do (with all the best intentions), why they’re not helpful, and what you can do instead.

1. Don't say “Just relax”

Variations of this crowd favorite include “Just calm down” and “Just breathe.”

Well, if I could, wouldn’t I have already done that?

Let’s say your roommate is looking for a job, and you find him spiraling one evening, freaking out about how he'll be unemployed forever. Automatically reaching for a phrase like “just relax” is understandable....

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How to Stop Feeling Dizzy

Hold Steady

Feeling dizzy? Stop what you’re doing and hold still! Focus your attention on a single spot, anything from a crack in the wall to your own hand. In a few minutes, your inner ear will regain equilibrium and you’ll feel better.

Ginger

As any person who has suffered a bout of dizziness knows, nausea is often an unwanted side effect. Fortunately, there’s a natural solution: ginger! The next time you get that spinning sensation, chew on a fresh piece of ginger, a ginger candy, or drink a cup of ginger tea. It will focus your attention on the flavor, and settle your stomach in a jiffy.

Water Can Help

Dizziness can often occur as a result of dehydration, particularly on a hot day or after vigorous exercise. If you feel a bout of dizziness come on, slowly sip a glass of water, and you should start to feel better. As a general rule, you should be drinking eight glasses of water per day.

Up Your Sugar Levels

Another possible cause of dizziness is low blood sugar. If it’s been awhile since you last ate something, this could very well be the case for you. To stop the spins, eat a small sweet or carbohydrate-rich snack like hard candy, fruit juice, a spoonful of honey, or a bagel.

Ayurvedic Approach to Dizziness

In Ayurvedic medicine, lemon water is a traditional cure for dizziness. Add one tablespoon of lemon juice and one teaspoon of sugar or honey to a glass of water and drink. You should start to feel revived in a few minutes. Cumin and nutmeg are also classic Ayurvedic dizziness remedies.

Feet Flat on the Ground

When you get dizzy, make sure your feet stay flat on the ground. In particular, women who are prone to dizziness should avoid high heels and wedges and choose flats instead. The additional surface area in contact with the ground will reduce your chance of falls.

Skip the Uppers and Downers

If you suffer from dizziness, you should avoid both caffeine and alcohol. These stimulants and depressants can send you for a whirl, making your dizziness problem worse.

Eyes Wide Shut

Have you noticed that your dizziness gets worse when you get up from a chair or out of bed? To prevent the attack from coming on, keep your eyes shut while you change positions. For example, when getting out of...

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Ghost Words

In 1886, a lexicographer named Walter Skeat first used the phrase “ghost words” to describe words that he said had “no real existence.” In other words, ghost words are words that weren’t real to begin with—they made it into the dictionary because of an error or misunderstanding.

Gravy

For example, it appears that “gravy” only became a word because a 14th-century translator misread a French cookbook. (1, 2) In Old French, the word was spelled with an N: “grane” (also sometimes spelled “grain”), and it was related to the word “grain,” which according to the Oxford English Dictionary meant “anything used in cooking” at the time. 

But English cookbooks translated from French in the 14th century and later nearly always have a V or a U instead of the N, leading to the word “gravy” that sounds so right to us today. Researchers believe it was simply a transcription error. If the word had been transcribed properly, we’d be having “grany” on our mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving.

Syllabus

In the 15th century, a misprint gave us another ghost word: “syllabus.”  The Roman philosopher Cicero died in 43 BC, but his work has been read ever since. Two of his “Letters to Atticus” (one, two) have the word “sittybas” (or possibly “sittubas”—sources disagree). Either way, it was a Greek word meaning “a label for a book or parchment” or “title-slip,” but one printing of this work mistakenly spelled the word as “syllabus.” (3, 4)

People apparently thought “syllabus” was Latin, and the spelling stuck so well that “syllabus” took on its new meaning in the mid-1600s and now even has a fake Latin plural: “syllabi” (although “syllabuses” is also listed as an option in all the dictionaries I checked.)

Tweed

Here’s a more recent misunderstanding that gave us a new word. We got the word “tweed”—a type of wool—from a misunderstanding of the Scottish word “tweel,” which was how the Scots said “twill.” That mistake may have happened because there’s a Tweed river in Scotland, so when people heard or saw “tweel,” they thought of the Tweed River; but regardless of how it happened, “tweed” became an established word for the cloth in London in the mid-1800s...

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8 Steps to Buying a Home You Can Afford

The journey to buying a home can be one of the most daunting but rewarding decisions of your life. If you’re ready to become a homeowner, now’s the time to get your finances in shape and figure out how much house you can afford.

I've identified eight steps to buying a home. Let's learn how to avoid common pitfalls, use key affordability formulas, and get the best deal possible on your next home purchase.

How to buy a home you can afford

1. Prepare your credit for mortgage approval.
2. List the features you want and need in a home.
3. Figure out what you can afford.
4. Get preapproved for a mortgage before shopping.
5. Find a great real estate agent.
6. Make a reasonable purchase offer.
7. Work through contract contingencies.
8. Close the deal.

Let's take a closer look at each step.

1. Prepare your credit for mortgage approval

Unless you have loads of cash, you’ll need to finance a portion of your home’s purchase price. Mortgage lenders review several aspects of your finances, including how much you have for a down payment, your income, outstanding debt, and credit.

Without a good credit score, you’ll either be turned down for a mortgage or charged a high interest rate. Even paying 1% more interest than you have to for a home loan means getting charged an extra $50,000 on a $200,000 30-year mortgage! So, if your credit isn’t in good shape, take the time to improve it before applying for a mortgage.

Even paying 1% more interest than you have to for a home loan means getting charged an extra $50,000 on a $200,000 30-year mortgage!

If you’re not sure what’s going on with your credit, visit annualcreditreport.com for free copies from each of the three nationwide credit agencies (Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion). Review your credit reports carefully and dispute any errors, such as accounts that aren’t yours, incorrect loan balances, or invalid late payments.   

Be sure to read or listen to 6 Steps to Build or Repair Your Credit Before Buying a Home for specific tips to get your credit in tip-top shape.  

2. List the features you want and need in a home

Before you start looking for a home, think about what you truly need versus...

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What to Eat to Prevent Kidney Stones

As anyone who has ever had one can attest, passing a kidney stone is something you’re not likely to forget ... or remember fondly. Although dietary measures are not 100% effective in preventing stones, they can definitely reduce your risk.

What causes kidney stones?

Kidney stones can form when compounds that are normally found in urine form crystals and start to clump together. They may be as small as a grain of sand or as large as a small pebble. Small stones may pass out of the body without you noticing. If larger stones start to migrate through the urinary tract, you’re going to notice!

Although the pain of passing a kidney stone can be excruciating, they usually pass without causing any further damage. In rare cases, surgery or other treatment may be required. But in most cases, the only treatment is medication to alleviate the pain while they are on the move.

Who gets kidney stones?

About 1 in 10 people will experience a kidney stone at some point during their lifetime, and men are about twice as likely as women. Kidney stones generally occur after age 30, although it’s possible for a younger person to have one as well. Once you’ve had a kidney stone, you’re at a significantly higher risk for future stones.

About 1 in 10 people will experience a kidney stone at some point during their lifetime, and men are about twice as likely as women.

The tendency to form kidney stones tends to run in families, so if your parents or siblings have had stones, you may be at increased risk. Whether or not you have a family history of stones, though, certain dietary habits can increase or reduce your risk.

How to prevent kidney stones

Drink lots of water. The most important thing to do to prevent kidney stones is to drink plenty of water, which helps flush compounds out of the kidneys before they can start making trouble.

Reduce salt. Excessive sodium intake can also concentrate the urine, making stone formation more likely.

Eat your veggies. A diet high in fruits and vegetables, which raises the pH of the urine, can help prevent kidney stones.

High protein diets, which lower the pH of your urine, can make kidney stones more likely.

Keep protein intake moderate. High protein diets, which lower the pH of your urine, can make kidney stones more likely. If you are nervous about kidney stones, you’ll probably want to stick to a moderate protein diet and get at least some of your protein from plants. 

Get enough calcium. A low...

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9 Tips for a Healthy, Happy Pup

White Noise for Anxiety

It seems like a silly habit of guilty “dog parents,” but it’s true: leaving the TV or radio on low in the room next to your pup will keep him calm while you’re away.

Chamomile for Anxiety

To keep your dog calm on the way to the vet, spray his carrier or seat with some chamomile tea. The scent has a relaxing effect (even for pets!), and you’ll be able to spend more time focusing on the road, not on what your dog is doing.

Your Scent for Anxiety

Don’t toss those old sweatpants! Put them in your dog’s bed, and he’ll stay calmer and sleep better, having the scent of you nearby. This trick is also useful if you’re going on a trip—add an old piece of clothes that you haven’t washed to your dog’s carrier and he’ll be more relaxed.

Heat for Insomnia

If it takes your dog awhile to go to sleep, particularly on a cold winter night, use heat to ease her into slumber. Throw a large towel into the dryer for 5-10 minutes on high, then wrap around your dog’s bedding. Dogs (especially older ones) will love the feeling of heat on their muscles and will settle down faster.

Green Tea for Waxy Ears

Remove wax build-up in your pet’s ears with green tea. Using an eyedropper, place several drops of room-temperature tea into each ear, massaging at the base of the ear to loosen the wax. Wipe away any excess. Repeat twice daily until you see an improvement. (You should double-check with your vet to make sure this tip is OK for your particular furry friend.)

Witch Hazel for Ear Infections

If your poor pup is prone to uncomfortable ear infections, try this tip for keeping his ears clean. Twice a month, wipe down the inside of the ears with a cotton ball soaked in witch hazel. The astringent will help loosen wax and reduce the incidence of infection. Just be sure to ask your vet first!

Coconut Oil for Dandruff

To eliminate dog dandruff, massage a few tablespoons warm coconut oil into your pet’s fur. Wait 15 minutes, and then shampoo it out. Coconut oil will moisturize and exfoliate your pet’s skin, and can be found at most healthfood stores.

Elderberry Tea for the Common Cold

Pets get colds too! To help them get better fast, brew some elderberry tea, and put the liquid in their water bowl, a half cup at a time. Many holistic vets believe in this remedy,...

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3 Fitness Lessons I Learned Riding a Bike Through Europe

Remember back in grade school when your teacher clearly wasn't completely ready for the school year to begin? You'd get the assignment to write an essay about what you learned on your summer vacation. Well, you can think of this as my "What I learned on Summer Vacation" essay ... with a bit more of a fitness and wellness vibe than I had in the fifth grade. 

On my summer vacation I traveled through Denmark, Belgium, and Holland (with brief dips into Sweden and Germany) on a bicycle and on foot. As you probably know, I have always been a believer in making vacations active affairs (for fun and fitness) but cycling from town to town was a bit of a new adventure. An adventure I highly recommend!

Now that I've been home for a couple of weeks, I've had a chance to reflect on the trip. I'm ready to share what I experienced and contemplated during my cycling vacation. 

1. Safe cycling is more fun

As a cyclist, if you're constantly afraid of getting hit by a car (or even just getting run off the road by drivers whose cars are too big for their own good), you're not going to have all that much fun. The good people of Europe (specifically Denmark, Holland, and Belgium) seem to have that sorted out. 

We North Americans could really take a lesson on the importance of bike safety from the Scandanavians. Not only are the bike lanes significantly wider in those countries than they are in Canada and the USA, but much of the time there's an entirely separate roadway specifically for bikes. A roadway that even has its own numbering and navigation system. Check out the Cycle Across Netherlands trip planner website for a great example of how easy it is to plan your trip. 

I have never seen so many spryly cycling and self-sufficient septuagenarians in my life.

In Europe, cycling seems to play in important role in keeping our seniors healthy. I have never seen so many spryly cycling and self-sufficient septuagenarians in my life. It was both depressing and inspiring at the same time. My newly minted vision for my retirement years is to be happily pedaling along a country path with a smörgåsbord in my bike's basket and a happy pupper in the chariot I'm pulling along behind me. 

But the good news is that we don't all have to move to Copenhagen to get this outcome. In my article, The Benefits of Biking to Work, I dove into some research in the ...

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How Can You Tell If You Have Perfect Pitch?

Mariah Carey, Ella Fitzgerald, Bing Crosby, Mozart, Beethoven, Jimi Hendrix, and Yanni. What do these musicians have in common? They're all said to have perfect pitch.

How rare is perfect pitch? If you don’t have it already, can you learn it?

What is perfect (or absolute) pitch?

Perfect pitch (technically known as absolute pitch) is the ability to identify, without effort, the pitch of a note.

Let's say someone plays a D on the piano. A person with perfect pitch—and the musical training to be able to name the notes—would be able to identify the note as a D without any reference. Or they might hear a note played and be able to reproduce it on an instrument without having to search for it. If you told someone who had vocal training and perfect pitch to sing a D, they'd be able to do it easily. 

When someone can identify a note only when it's based on a reference note, that's called relative pitch. People with perfect pitch, on the other hand, don't need a reference note to label an audible tone correctly.

How rare is perfect pitch? 

Out of every 10,000 people, only between 1 to 5 of them will have perfect pitch. Out of every 10,000 musicians, however, between 100 and 1100 (that’s 1-11%) may have the gift. Perfect pitch is also observed to run in families, which suggests it's at least partially genetic.

Perfect pitch is more common in cultures where the language is tonal. In tonal languages, the same word said in different tones has different meanings. (That's compared to cultures where tone indicates emotion and not meaning.) One study of music students found that 60 percent of Mandarin-speaking students who had studied music since the age of four or five had perfect pitch relative to only 14 percent of English-speaking students.

Some scientists argue that this could mean perfect pitch can be taught. That's especially true for someone who learns to alter and identify pitch from a young age, like when they're learning to speak their first language. 

Other studies have shown that perfect pitch is more common among people with ...

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Prospect Like a Pro in 5 Easy Steps

No matter how you define success, effective prospecting is the key to reaching it every time. You could be a consultant seeking clients, a job hunter seeking employment, or a member of a polycule seeking additional polyamorous family units. All of those require good prospecting.

Bernice, owner of Green Growing Things plant stores, has decided it’s time to enter the corporate market. Her carnivorous plants, especially the Audrey IIs, have been a huge hit with consumers. She’s built the company this far through direct-to-consumer outreach. But corporate clients are an entirely different matter. 

She’ll need a concerted, systematic effort in order to make a name for her business in the corporate world. That means being as rigorous with her prospecting efforts as she is with her yoga practice. Her year-end goal is mastering the prospecting equivalent of the Bird of Paradise pose. (If you don’t know what that is, look it up. If you dare). 

Know the prospecting roadmap

Prospecting isn’t as simple as it seems from the outside. It involves not only finding prospects but reaching out to them, tracking the results, and following up. Regularly.

Most people (and by “most people,” I mean “me”) tend to intermingle these phases. They’ll randomly go to a conference, randomly meet some people, and randomly follow up. Then they randomly wonder why they aren’t randomly getting more random business.

These steps take most of the random out of prospecting and replace it with something much more on-purpose.

Step 1: Generate prospect sources

Bernice is smarter than most people (and by “most people,” I mean “me”). Rather than going right out to knock on corporate doors, she makes a list of prospect sources. Not prospects, prospect sources. She’s looking for companies that might use plants, so she realizes she can find those companies through:

• Her Chamber of Commerce
• The monthly Human Resources Best Practices Dinner
• The Inc. 500 List of Fastest Growing Businesses in her area
• A subreddit about “humane working environments.” (After all, strategically-placed person-eating plants are a very humane way to make sure employees don’t raid the supply closet.)

You don't have to be a business owner to benefit from...

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Why People Hate Words Like 'Moist'

In this discussion, Mignon Fogarty and Jade Wu, host of the Savvy Psychologist podcast, discuss word aversion. Some of the points covered include:

• What are some of the most commonly hated words?
• Who is most likely to find certain words disgusting?
• How do researchers measure whether people really hate certain words?
• What are some different theories about why people hate certain words?
• What future research might be able to tease out the details of word aversion?

You can listen to the entire interview by clicking the player above or by finding the Grammar Girl podcast on any podcasting app, but if you prefer to read it, we also have a complete (rough) transcript.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.

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5 Crucial Steps for Launching a New Business

Hundreds of businesses are launched every day. Many of these new companies fail within a few years because they fail to set themselves up for success. While it may seem like a daunting challenge to start a new company, if you have a dream and a plan to deliver on it, you can certainly develop a business that will thrive.

Here are five key steps to follow to help your business succeed.

1. Research the Industry

Once you develop an idea for a business, you must do the proper research to ensure it has a market. If your business does not fulfill a need in the industry, you will not be able to attract customers. But if your company offers something new that will benefit consumers, you can identify your niche market and work on building a successful corporation.

If f your company offers something new that will benefit consumers, you can identify your niche market and work on building a successful corporation.

Many new business owners skip this critical step, believing that if they came up with the idea themselves, then there must be a need. This can be a fatal mistake. Failing to do extensive research causes many companies to fail prematurely because they have not developed a product or service that is strong enough to support a business.

2. Secure Funding

Businesses need funding. So getting the right business loan fast is critical to ensure the success of your startup.

The right funding can help your company thrive in every stage of growth. While many banks may hesitate to provide financing to a new company due to poor or limited credit history, there are many private financial companies that offer loans tailored specifically to startups. Depending on the type of financing you secure for your company, you can purchase equipment, consolidate debt, or obtain inventory as needed. Funding gives you access to a flexible line of credit so you can grow your business without tying up your profits.

3. Develop a Brand

No company can succeed without a unique brand. Comprised of company logos, graphics and values, the brand is what sets your startup apart from its competitors. It makes your business instantly recognizable to potential customers, making it more likely that they will turn to your company instead of a competitor with similar offerings.

Develop a brand voice that reflects the values of your company.

The key to high-quality branding is consistency. You must first develop a brand voice that reflects the values of your company, and then you can create a branding strategy that coordinates with the company voice. A...

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How Not to Have a One-Sided Relationship

Hardly anyone starts out wanting to be in a one-sided relationship. But lots of people still end up in relationships where the other person has all the power.

Let's take a look at how to avoid getting into a one-sided relationship. I'll also show you how to get out, if you happen to be stuck in one. 

First, let's consider the kind of relationships most of us want. You know, the good kind where both people feel valued and everyone gets to have a say. For this kind of relationship, you need the right partner. Some people make better partners than others. 

What all good relationships have in common

There are three things good partners do in a good relationship. They all begin with the letter "R," so they're easy to remember. Good partners are:

1. Reliable. They show up when they say they’re going to show up. In psychology we call this “object permanence.” You don’t have to worry about whether or not they’re going to stick around. And when they say they’re going to do something for you, or with you, you can trust that they’re going to do what they say.
   
2. Reassuring. You can ask them for reassurance—any time you want—and they're happy to give it. In psychology we call this “object constancy.” You don’t have to worry that their feelings for you are going to suddenly change.
   
3. Real. They want to be part of your life. They want to meet your family and friends, and they want you to meet their family and friends too. They're interested in the real details of your life—the good as well as the bad. And they expect you to be interested in their lives, too.

Simple, right? And as a result, with a good partner, you should be able to do one more thing that begins with the letter R—relax. You should feel like you can kick off your shoes and be completely yourself. In a good relationship, you should feel right at home. 

Now let’s look at one-sided relationships       

In a one-sided relationship, one or more of these three things are missing. Your partner isn’t reliable enough, they’re not reassuring enough, or they’re not 100 percent real. And the result is that you’re anxious a lot of the time. Which makes perfect sense—under those circumstances, who wouldn’t be anxious?

Why do so many people stay with partners who are unreliable, or not able to offer enough reassurance, or not 100 percent real?

You’d think in this kind of situation, where a relationship is one-sided, that pretty much everyone would...

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Mallika Chopra's Best Advice to Help Kids Manage Their Feelings

Is your child a bit overwhelmed with trying to keep up a crazy pace? School, sports and extracurricular activities, homework, and daily peer pressure often compete for a child's attention. A demanding schedule and lifestyle can lead to a lot of stress. What can you and your child do to cope?

Mallika Chopra is a mom, media entrepreneur, author, and public speaker. (She's also the daughter of spiritual guru Deepak Chopra.) Today, she joins Mighty Mommy to discuss her latest book, Just Feel: How to Be Stronger, Happier, Healthier, and More. It's a full-color, illustrated guide for kids ages 8-12 that gives them the tools to build resilience and overcome their daily pressures.

Putting these strategies into action will help your child develop independence, grit, and inner strength.

Mallika wants kids to know that their feelings are potent and affect both their mood and choices. Her book provides mindful exercises that show kids how to identify their feelings, express them, and make good choices. Putting these strategies into action will help them develop independence, grit, and inner strength.

Just Feel is the follow-up to Mallika's popular book, Just Breathe, which offers practical advice on breathing techniques and guided meditations for a number of scenarios. It's designed to help kids deal with stress, fall asleep, and have better focus in school.

Have a listen to the interview by clicking on the audio player above. Here are a few things we'll talk about in this episode.

• You'll learn some of the biggest challenges today’s kids and teens face and how parents are contributing to their daily stressors.
• Mallika explains whether Just Feel is a book to have your child read independently or to read together.
• Mallika shares some of the tools and exercises she recommends and explains how families can benefit from them.
• Is your child reluctant to share his or her feelings? We'll talk about helping them.   
• We'll discover a few ways to be more proactive when it comes to supporting and empowering your child as well as building their self-confidence.
• Mallika will tell you her number-one takeaway from the book—advice to help you parent your child through good times and difficult ones.

JOIN THE PARENTING CONVERSATION

Do you have difficulty helping your child manage his feelings? Join the conversation on the Mighty Mommy Facebook page,...

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Transcript: An Interview with Dave Itzkoff

5 Helpful Tricks for DIY Halloween Face Paint

All Natural DIY Face Paint

Skip the store-bought face paint this year (along with those yucky chemicals) and make your own non-toxic paints! All you’ll need are a few common household items and food coloring: Combine 5 tablespoons cornstarch, 2 tablespoons vegetable shortening, 1 tablespoon flour, and a dollop of petroleum jelly. Split this mixture into several different containers, then add as much food coloring as you need to get the colors you want. You may want to use a gel food coloring instead of the regular liquid kind for a darker, more concentrated color.

DIY Fake Blood

Nothing says Halloween like chainsaw-inflicted gashes and lots of zombie fluids. Cook up your own fake blood this year by mixing cornstarch, red and blue food dye, and a little milk. Use a small paintbrush to work your bloody magic on faces, necks, limbs, and clothing.

How to Make Scratches and Bruises

Need to make some gory gashes? Check out this tutorial on how to make bruises, scratches, and cuts with makeup.

Last Minute Face Paint Ideas

So now you’ve got your face paints…but what are you going to paint? If you’re unsure about what you want to be for Halloween, check out this impressive YouTube playlist by makeup artist Melissa Bernard, which not only gives you more than 100 different ideas for ways to paint your face for Halloween, each one has one of her video tutorials to show you how to do it!

Easy Face Paint and Makeup Remover

Once the fun is over, get the paint off your or your kids’ face the easy, natural way! As we shared in our Halloween podcast, olive oil is a cheap and effective way to remove caked-on makeup or face paint. Just apply with a paper towel or wash cloth, then rise off. It will moisturize your face, too!

For more Halloween ideas from all over the internet, including ideas for food, check out our Halloween Pinterest board! And don’t forget to sign up for our newsletter and follow us on Facebook!

Photo courtesy of...

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What You Should Know About Starting a New Business

You decided to start a business with a life-long friend, and after discussing your options for several weeks, you are finally ready to put your plan in action. Although it may be a stress-filled few weeks of trial and error, you are both sure your plan can change the world. Before you can get your product to the public, there are a few things you should know about how to start a new business.

Listen To Everyone

As you workshop your idea for your business with friends and family, you never know when a side comment or off-the-cuff remark could bring fresh new ideas or clarify questions you may have had. Remember to keep an open mind when your loved ones offer feedback and advice. It is also important to notice how people react when you talk about your idea. Watch their body language and notice whether they seem excited or bored. The way your family and friends respond to your product spiels will almost always prove to be a microcosm of the larger collective.

Raise Your Credit

There are many reasons to raise your credit score, but one of the most important is the ability to save money. When looking for financing for your business startup, you may notice that low credit can make it difficult or impossible to get a loan. Even if you are able to get a business loan with so-so credit, you may be charged a higher interest rate. It is a good idea to review a credit monitoring site monthly to stay on top of your scores.

Create a Solution

If you want a product or service to succeed, create a solution to a problem. Consider a product like the one-touch, leak-proof water bottle. This product was designed to help travelers, commuters and athletes simplify the process of accessing their water. Without a cap to unscrew, it's easier to use than a traditional water bottle. Even more importantly, it solves the problem of leaks in transit. Think about how this simple fix could apply to your business. Because challenges are universal, it is easier to collect a solid base of consumers when you help them solve one of life’s difficulties. Your consumers will proudly tell their friends about how you solved a problem they didn't even know they had.

If you want a product or service to succeed, create a solution to a problem.

Birth a Name

Creating a name for your business may sound easy, but in reality, it can one of the most...

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3 Symptoms of Childhood Trauma We Don't Talk About

When you think of your childhood, what comes to mind? It might be things like ice cream running down our chin, giggling and running through a water fountain, sledding with your siblings, or having hot chocolate while snuggling on the sofa with your mom and dad. Or you may be among the many people who don't have these lovely childhood memories, or who have darker memories that crowd out the good ones.

What is complex trauma?

Most of us can recognize trauma in general. When we think of trauma, we often think of momentous, life-changing events. We think of horrific instances of sexual assault, car accidents, natural disaster, and war—events that divide a person’s life into “before” and “after.” These are the experiences that victims can’t help but replay in flashbacks and nightmares.

Complex trauma is an insidious, 'slow burn' type of childhood experience that affects a person profoundly.

What we don’t think or talk much about is something called complex trauma. Complex trauma is an insidious, "slow burn" type of childhood experience that affects a person just as profoundly.

These traumas are harder to pinpoint, describe, and remember. They might appear as “snapshots” from childhood, like waiting late into the night for an often-absent parent to come home. They could appear as a general feeling of distrust or detachment. That feeling sneaks into the person’s adult relationships, even when those relationships are with people who aren't abusive.

Complex trauma is not always about what happened to a person; it’s also about what did not happen. Perhaps the person didn't receive basic respect, or a sense of consistency from the adults in their lives.

The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) checklist

Over my years of clinical practice, I’ve learned a few things about trauma that I didn’t get from textbooks. One thing really stands out—how common it is.

Of course, I had heard about the high prevalence of childhood trauma from famous studies like the Adverse Childhood Events (ACE) study. ACE was huge survey of over 17,000 people between 1995 to 1997. The participants had physical exams and filled out confidential surveys about their childhood experiences as well as their current health and behavior status.

The surveys contained a list of ten items. In addition to traumatic experiences like physical and sexual abuse, the checklist included things like:

• Did a parent or older adult in the household often swear at you, insult you, put you down, or humiliate you?
• Did you...

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‘Rebut’ or ‘Refute’?

A listener named Luke asked me to write about the difference between the words “rebut” and “refute.”

The Origins of 'Rebut' and 'Refute'

“Rebut" came to English in the 1300s from an Old French word that meant “to thrust back.”

“Refute” came later—from Middle French in the 1500s, but its Latin roots mean something very similar: “to drive back.” So the etymology doesn’t help us much here.

The ways the meanings have resolved today, “rebut” means to make an argument against something, and “refute” means to prove your case against something. In other words, if you rebut something successfully, you have refuted it.

Examples of 'Rebut' and 'Refute' Being Used Correctly

The Cinderella of the poem (let us imagine) is as radical as the Disney version is safe. She questions some of her culture’s deepest values and beliefs that women should marry men, that rich and handsome princes are automatically desirable, that a man can love a woman even if he can’t remember what she looks like. The other characters in the poem are, of course, horrified by her unorthodox views, and they do everything they can to contradict her. Every time she speaks, they rebut everything she says. But Cinderella is a clever debater, and she holds her own. They go on arguing and arguing until the Fairy Godmother shows up and angrily puts an end to the debate.

― Michael Austin, Re-reading Job: Understanding the Ancient World's Greatest Poem

I can imagine a number of different ways that one might go about rebutting Poe’s metaphysical truth claims. But it makes no difference whether or not ravens can talk. Nothing about Poe’s poem can be supported, or refuted, by scientific knowledge about the vocalization mechanisms of the Corvus corax.

― Michael Austin, Re-reading Job: Understanding the Ancient World's Greatest Poem

Using Alternatives to 'Rebut' and 'Refute'

In trying to find examples, I came across many well-known writers who used these words incorrectly, and Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary allows “refute” to have both meanings, so the confusion seems widespread. Still, many style guides, including Garner’s Modern English Usage and the AP Stylebook, strongly say we should continue to...

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How to Write a Conclusion

Writing essays is complicated work, and writing the ending to an essay is often the hardest part of that work. Endings are tough for several reasons. You may be tired from writing—or tired of what you have written. You may feel that you have made your point sufficiently and that no more needs to be said or can possibly be said. You may feel like just tying a bow around the essay and calling it good, but doing so is a mistake. The ending is your last chance to make an impression.

The ending is your last chance to make an impression.

And even if you try to write a powerful, substantive ending, there are plenty of ways to go wrong: repeating, equivocating, going off on a tangent, introducing a call to action from out of nowhere, marveling at the mysteries of the universe, tacking on an afterthought, and so on. I know because I’ve made all of these mistakes.

With so many ways to go wrong, planning the ending is too important to leave until the end. Consider the analogy of a road trip. If you are on the highway, you want to know where your exit is, slow down, signal and safely leave the highway. If you are driving too fast, or are in the wrong lane, or if the road is hazardous, you may be in for an accident. So think about the ending all through the essay, perhaps even finding ways to drop foreshadowing clues as you go, so the ending seems natural rather than forced.

Your ending should also match the purpose of the piece of writing. An opinion essay might end by reinforcing a particular course of action and its outcomes; a historical essay might connect the material discussed with what happened later or could happen in the future; satire might end with a wink to the reader; and analytic writing might offer readers a chance to test their thinking abilities. Even a listicle has a natural ending: the last item is often the most complex one—the item that the others in the list prepare the reader for.

The conclusion should be in proportion to the rest of the essay.

Besides matching the purpose of the writing, the ending should be in proportion to the rest of the work—probably between 10 to 15 percent of the content but no more than 20 and no less than 5. Finally, an ending should not be over-signaled with transitional phrases like “In conclusion,” or “to summarize” or even “so….” It should emerge naturally, almost inevitably from your points.

One of the best ways to refine conclusions is to notice how some writers you admire handle their endings. Take Sam Anderson’s “New York Magazine” review of “The Anthology of Rap,” in which he discusses rap as written poetry. His ending teases us with “And now to the ultimate...

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25 Home Remedy Sleep Treatments

Drugging yourself to get to sleep? Pumping caffeine to stay awake? No more! These all-natural remedies will have you sleeping through the night and waking up feeling refreshed.

The End the Insomnia

1. Hit the Juice Aisle
Tart cherry juice is packed with melatonin! Try drinking 8 ounces an hour before bed to set yourself up for a good night’s sleep.

2. Nod Off with Nuts
If you have a hard time winding down at the end of the day, try eating more nuts! Rich in sleep-promoting nutrients such as magnesium and selenium, nuts are a healthy, drug-free way to help you get that much-needed shut-eye. In research, peanuts and pistachios have been the biggest standouts for bringing on deeper sleep.

3. Snooze with Seafood
Serve up more dinners from the sea! Cod, tuna, snapper, halibut, and shrimp contain levels of sleep-promoting tryptophan comparable to those found in turkey.

4. Blue Lights Out
Melatonin is a hormone the body produces to help you sleep. Research has shown that staring at a screen that gives off blue light (such as a TV, computer, or smartphone) will decrease the amount of melatonin your body is producing. If you’re having trouble sleeping at night, be sure to set aside the TV, laptop, and video game after dinnertime. Or spend as little as $8 for a pair of blue light–blocking glasses.

5. Make Pink Your Favorite Color
You’ve probably heard of white noise—like the constant hum of a fan to cover up harsher background sounds that could stir you in your sleep. So what’s pink noise? It has more variation, coming out louder and more powerful at the lower frequencies. Think of rain falling on pavement or waves crashing on the beach. And it’s been shown to lead your brain waves into deep sleep. Try a color test to see whether white or pink works better for you—free apps such as Simply Noise offer both.

6. Skip the Nightcap
Alcohol can make you feel really sleepy...at first. But you’ll pay for it at 3 a.m. when the alcohol is metabolized and that effect wears off and wakes you up. It’s smart to limit alcohol within 3 hours of bedtime.

7. The Scents of Sleep
Mix a few drops of lavender, chamomile, and ylang-ylang essential oils and water in a spray bottle and give your pillowcase a spritz. These scents activate the alpha wave activity in the back of your brain, which leads to relaxation. You’ll be ahh-sleep before you know it!

8. Invite Fido In
But not on your bed! Surprisingly, a recent study out of the Mayo Clinic found that people sleep better when their dogs are in the...

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