Why Some People Never Apologize

What is the deal with not apologizing?

Eminem says no apologies.

Demi Lovato is sorry, not sorry.

Gibbs on NCIS says Rule #6 is never apologize.

Any one of them might have gotten the idea from John Wayne, who delivers his famous line in 1949’s She Wore a Yellow Ribbon: “Never apologize—it’s a sign of weakness.”

Even status quo customer service rules say not to apologize. Apparently, customers interpret the word “sorry” as an admission that your product or service is lousy; therefore, apologizing is discouraged and replaced by exasperating phrases like, “Thank you for your flexibility.”

The mystery is only confounded by studies that show how helpful a good apology can be.

For instance, many doctors are told to avoid apologies because it looks like an admission of fault, which might cause patients to sue them. However, not receiving an apology for a bad medical outcome makes patients mad, which according to a study in The Lancet, is the main reason that patients sue their doctors.

The result is a vicious cycle. Thankfully, the implementation of apology laws that declare an apology is not evidence of liability has allowed doctors to apologize, patients to feel heard, and the costs associated with malpractice lawsuits to abate. A study out of Cornell University found that malpractice cases in states with apology laws settle 20% faster and reduce payouts by up to $73,0000 than in states that do not. In other words, allowing apologies literally saves time and money, not to mention repairing damaged emotions and relationships.

Elton John said it perfectly when he sang, “Sorry seems to be the hardest word.” But why?

Why are we so resistant to apologizing? What’s the problem? Elton John said it perfectly when he sang, “Sorry seems to be the hardest word.” But why?

One answer lies in a study out of the University of Queensland in Australia. 

In the study, 219 participants were asked to reflect on a time when they upset someone. Next, half the participants were asked to write a hypothetical email to the person they had wronged, apologizing for their actions. The other half was also told to write an email, but were instructed to explicitly say they refuse to apologize.

Here’s where things get interesting:...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

Do You Capitalize "Google"?

 

Jeannie A. from Chicago, Illinois, wrote, "If you're using the proper noun 'Google' as a verb, do you capitalize it?"

If Google executives care about their trademark, they would like you to not use "Google" as a verb since doing so threatens that trademark, but as you know, it's very common to hear people say, "I Googled it," to mean they searched for something on Google.

AP style is to capitalize “Google” when you use it as a verb, when you say you Googled something or are Googling something. The Chicago Manual of Style also says to capitalize trademarks such as Google, but notes that although this is what corporations would prefer, it’s not a legally binding rule, and they note that Webster’s includes lowercase entries for both “google” and another company name that has become a verb: “xerox.”

The Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary lists the verb "google" as lowercase, but notes that it is often capitalized. The Oxford English Dictionary entry shows the verb "Google" capitalized, but says it can also be lowercase. Garner’s Modern English Usage says it can go either way but that it’s more common to keep “Google” capitalized than to write it lowercase.

It’s common to use certain company or product names as verbs, and when you do, it’s usually better to capitalize them.

The bottom line is that you don’t have to capitalize it unless your following AP or Chicago style, but it’s probably a good idea to do it anyway. No matter what you decide, pick one way of doing it and being consistent instead of flipping back and forth between two styles. Be deliberate.

Finally, remember how I said at the beginning that Google executives wouldn’t want you to use “Google” as a verb if they care about their trademark? Well, maybe they don’t care, because a couple of years ago, Nancy Friedman, a corporate naming expert who goes by @fritinancy on Twitter, found an ad for Chromebook computers that deliberately used the product name, Chromebook, as a verb. It read, “If you’re over the old way of doing things, you Chromebook.” And in case you’re curious, they did capitalize “Chromebook.”

That’s your Quick and Dirty Tip: It’s common to use certain company or product names as verbs, and when you do, it’s usually better to capitalize them.

Mignon Fogarty is Grammar Girl and the founder of Quick and Dirty Tips. Check out her New York Times bestseller, “...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

Why Does ‘Love’ Mean ‘Zero’ in Tennis?

The first Wimbledon championships were held in 1877. They featured a field of 22 men, who were advised to bring their own racquets and to wear “shoes without heels.” The balls were hand-sewn, with a flannel casing. The racquets were made of wood and looked distinctly like snowshoes. 

The event was so successful that a women’s championship was added seven years later. First prize for the ladies was a silver flower basket, valued at 20 guineas. 

Fast forward about a hundred years. In 2018, the winner of the women’s tournament, Angelique Kerber, took home 2.25 million pounds (that’s about 2.8 million US dollars). Her racquet was made of a carbon-graphite compound originally developed for use in space flight. And the balls she played with had to match international standards dictating their mass, size, deformation, and rebound. 

In other words, things have changed.

One thing that hasn’t changed though is the weird scoring system used in tennis.

'Love' Means 'Zero' Because … Eggs?

Let’s start with “love” — the word that means “zero” in tennis.

When a match starts, the score is zero-zero; in the tennis world, that’s called “love all.”

There are a couple of theories on why. One is that the number zero has an oval shape, just like an egg. The French word for “egg” is “l’oeuf.” Say “l’oeuf” five times fast, and it starts to sound like “love.” L’oeuf, l’oeuf, l’oeuf, l’oeuf, l’oeuf.

Seems like a bit of a stretch, until you consider the fact that we also call “zero” on a scoreboard a “goose egg.” Sports fans have been saying this since at least 1867 … about the time the first tennis matches were being played. 

'Love' Means 'Zero' Because … the Love of the Game?

Another theory is related to the expression “to play a sport for love,” as opposed to playing for money. This refers to the practice of playing a competitive game simply for the fun of it, not because you might win a prize.

In other words, just for the love of the game, you’d accept a score of love, and keep on playing.  

This explanation is suggested but not verified by the Oxford English Dictionary.  The OED also notes that “love” has been used for centuries to mean “zero” in other games, such as bridge and whist, the card game from which bridge is derived.

15, 30, 40 … What?

...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

8 Hacks to Make Doing Laundry Easier

The Myth of Laundry Sorting

Did you know that you really don’t have to sort laundry into colors versus whites? Unless a clothing item is a brand-new red or denim, tossing all your clothes into the machine together will not result in bleeding colors and unintentional tie-dyes—and it’s been this way for decades! Although whites can handle higher temperatures (which can help remove stains), there’s no other reason to wash your whites and your colors separately. Which means your laundry job just got easier: now you can clean your family’s clothes by their owner rather than by color. Stick a hamper in each child’s room and toss the entire load in at once, set on cold. No sorting!

Two People Doing Laundry?

Has this conversation ever happened in your house? “Can this go in the dryer? What about this? Should I hang this up? What about that?” End it forever with a dry erase marker. When you put laundry in the washing machine, write what garments can’t go in the dryer on the lid of the washer. Then erase it before your next load. Problem solved!

Sock Sorting the Easy Way

Use a mesh lingerie bag or pillowcase to launder each family member’s socks separately. It’s an easy way to keep them together so they’ll be easier to sort later.

Take Them for Another Spin

If you find your clothes are still dripping wet when you take them out of the washing machine, put them back in and set the cycle to spin. The extra spin time will wring them out even further, and use less energy than extra time in the dryer will.

Cut Down on Drying Time

Add a big, dry towel to the clothes dryer when drying jeans and other bulky items. It will cut the drying time significantly, because the dry towel will absorb excess moisture. It will save you energy and save your clothes!

See also: What to Do If You’re Out of Dryer Sheets or Fabric Softener

Dry Pants without Creases

What’s the secret to wrinkle-free pants? When hanging up your pants to dry, make sure to hang them by the cuffs at the bottom. (Either use a pants hanger with clips, or just add clothespins to a hanger.) Thanks to gravity, they’ll dry with little to no creases!

Dry Delicates Faster

After hand-washing clothes they can stay damp for hours, but trying to wring them out can leave...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

The Relationship Doctor

5 Tips for Writing a Literature Review

A literature review is an important part of academic writing. Whether you’re writing one that will stand on its own or as preparation for a thesis or other major project, it’s a key process for gaining a deeper understanding of an area of research. However, with the amount of reading and analysis involved, writing a literature review can be a daunting task. When composing your literature review, it’s important to refine your chosen topic, analyze your research, and thoughtfully structure your information. Keep reading to learn five tips for writing a literature review.

1. Choose and refine your topic

It’s important to have a clear idea of not only your general area of focus, but also what your research question will be so you can search for specific terms when collecting sources. It should be obvious fairly quickly if your initial focus is too broad—your searches will show results that are too varied in scope. If this happens, look for more narrowly focused parts of your area of study that have not been addressed in previous research.

2. Begin collecting sources early in the process

With a little luck, you’ll be able to find the full text of many of your sources online. However, there will likely be a few items you really want to review, but can’t access as quickly. The faster you can identify the sources you need to request through holds or interlibrary loans, the more likely you’ll be able to access and review them with enough time to include them in your literature review.

Knowing where to look for sources in your area of interest is important too. Check your school’s library to see what databases are available that include your area of study. You may also talk to your professor for advice on finding the best resources. Once you find a couple of sources from the literature that fit what you need, finding others becomes easier. You can use the references cited in those studies to find related sources to add to your list.

3. Analyze your research findings

The term “literature review” describes both the paper you’re writing and the process of creating it. The purpose is to review the existing research that relates to your topic, and to then synthesize what others have written on it. Note that your goal is more than just recapping what others have said; you’re also looking at how it all fits together and relates to the specific research question you want to address. This will help you identify differences, gaps in the research, and unanswered questions. Take good notes on each source that will help you group them together later by common themes or contradictions.

4. Keep track of your searches and results

When...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

The Right Way to Talk to Your Aging Parents About Their Money

Talking with aging parents about their money and future wishes can be a touchy subject. It’s not always easy to know how much or how little we should be involved in their financial lives. Plus, parents can be reluctant to open up about their finances, and kids might not know exactly what to do or say to get prepared for the future.

I interviewed Cameron Huddleston, author of Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk: How to Have Essential Conversations with Your Parents About Their Finances, to talk about this often-difficult topic.

Cameron is an award-winning journalist with more than 17 years of experience writing about personal finance. U.S. News & World Report named her one of the top personal finance experts to follow on Twitter.

Her work has appeared in Kiplinger's Personal Finance, Business Insider, Chicago Tribune, Fortune, MSN, USA Today, Yahoo and many more print and online publications. She’s been featured on MSNBC, CNN, “Fox & Friends,” ABC News Radio, Wall Street Journal Radio, NPR and other personal finance radio shows nationwide. She’s been interviewed and quoted as an expert in The New York Times, Chicago Tribune, BBC.com, MarketWatch and more.

On the Money Girl podcast, Cameron and I chat about conversation starters and strategies to communicate with your parents about their finances the best ways possible. We cover:

• Why having money talks sooner rather than later is so important.
• Strategies to start conversations that aren’t awkward or upsetting.
• Key legal documents your parents should have to protect their final wishes.
• The challenges that a parent’s memory issues can bring to estate planning.
• What to do if your parents aren’t prepared for retirement or are struggling financially.
• How to use long-term care insurance to manage a parent’s future care expenses.
• Ideas for aging parents to manage debt and cut expenses to free up more cash.

[Listen to the interview using the embedded audio player or on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, and Spotify]

Use these tips from Cameron Huddleston to communicate more effectively about money with your parents:

...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

Personalized Nutrition: The Latest on DNA-Based Diets

Several of you have written asking me to revisit the subject of nutrigenomics, which is the attempt to use genetic testing as a way to steer dietary recommendations.

Nutrition Diva listener Brad writes:

You did an episode on DNA-based diets in 2012 (episode 203). I know the genetics field is changing very quickly and I was hoping you could revisit this subject. Some of the companies who do the testing also sell specific supplements based on your results, which seems a little suspcious. What is the state of the art?

Another listener, Dizz, wrote:   

I keep seeing these DNA testing companies on social media. They claim to have studies on their website supporting their results. I haven’t actually done the test, but I read a sample report and it seemed like the recommendations (like eat a high fiber diet) were just common sense and would apply to everyone. Can you hang your hat on these tests?

If you've been wondering whether DNA testing can help you zero in on the best diet, there's new research out that I think you’ll find quite interesting.

No Single Diet Works Best for Everyone

Since the sequencing of the human gemone, there's been a lot of interest in nutrigenomics. It’s long been clear that we don’t all respond the same way to the same dietary interventions. Some people do really well on a higher fat diet. Others develop high triglycerides or cholesterol on the same diet. Some people lose more weight when they reduce carbs. Others lose more weight when they increase complex carbs and reduce fat.  

If these differences are genetic, maybe we could skip some of the trial-and-error and zero in on the best approach for each unique individual based on their DNA.

Now that inexpensive mail-order genetic testing is available, companies have started selling personalized nutrition programs that are supposedly based on your DNA. When I talked about this back in 2012, we didn't have any research to show that these DNA-driven diets are any more effective or valid than standard dietary recommendations. We also didn't have evidence that DNA-driven supplement regimens prevent disease. 

Last year,...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

How to Be Persuasive Using the Right Language Cues

The problem with being a villian is that, well, you have to communicate like one. Villains don't explain, they command. 

It was a cold, gray morning and the Wicked Witch’s castle was chilled to the ramparts. The Witch called to her minions. “The weather disappoints!” she proclaimed. “Fix it immediately!”

Her minions scurried out of the room. She heard hammering outside, and smiled, imagining the wonderful wood-burning heater they were going to have for her in just a few moments. They wheeled in a large metal box, on wooden rollers. “Voila!”, cried the head minion, “it bends space and time and turns the snow pure white.” Pure white. White snow. W-T-F?

The Wicked Witch buried her head in her hands. 

Communication is Difficult

Some of the Wicked Witch’s problems are simply communication. She knows exactly what she wants: warmth! Either a heater or maybe little booties to protect her feet. But the language she’s using isn’t language that will work with minions. That’s because to get your message across, you need to send it in ways that work for everyone.

In my career—and I have been doing public speaking and training professionally for years—it seems one distinction is very, very important in crafting your message: the difference between abstract and concrete.

Abstract vs. Concrete Language

Abstract thinking drives progress

One of the things that separates Human from Beast is that humans can think abstractly. We give words to things, and then act as if those words are real. A Beast can say “R-o-o-o-a-r!” That's about it. The Wicked Witch can say “The weather disappoints! Fix it!” The words “weather,” “disappoints,” and “fix” are abstract. They refer to concepts and broad categories, not specifics. 

Abstraction drives pretty much all human progress. Without it, we couldn’t have language. We wouldn’t have science, or mathematics, or engineering. How would you feel about that? (pause) I’ll bet you thought something like, “OK. I guess that’s bad. But at least school would have been easier.”

Concrete thinking drives action

But you also wouldn’t have kitty pictures. You wouldn’t have stereos for dance parties. You wouldn’t have People Magazine or Oprah. You wouldn’t have the websites you keep open in your other browser tabs. And you wouldn’t have smartphones to take selfies and post on Instagram. Now you’re thinking: “ARGH!!!! Gu… sp… how… ARGH!!!...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

What Is #StetWalk?

I’ve been using the hashtag #StetWalk on Twitter and Instagram, and every time I do, someone asks what #StetWalk is, so here’s a quick explanation. It’s a hashtag that editors use to post pictures they took while they were out walking. Editors tend to be sedentary, and we can all use some encouragement to get out of the office and get moving!

It started a few weeks ago when Tanya Gold, who goes by @EditorTanya on Twitter and Instagram, posted about how she had fallen out of her habit of daily walks. She asked if anyone else was having the same problem and if people wanted to do something fun to hold each other accountable. She said, “I've done photo exchanges with friends over the years and have always loved being able to see how others see the world. And what better way to show you've been somewhere and done something than taking a photograph?”

Tanya asked some friends to help her come up with a name, and she liked Heather Saunders’ suggestion the best: #StetWalk. [Here's Heather on Twitter.]

Heather said, “I brainstormed a tag with the goal that it'd be fun, memorable, and related to editing. But most of all, I wanted it to be cheerful so it would be fun to post. I liked the playfulness of #StetWalk because it combines a term that means ‘let it stand’ with doing anything but standing still—walking, running, even simply getting outside for a minute.”

I’m more of a writer and podcaster these days than an editor, but anyone can participate. Heather said, “I was thrilled when Tanya came up with this idea and am beyond pleased to see it growing into a supportive community of editors, freelancers, and remote workers, all sharing pics of our daily adventures as we get outside to better our physical and mental health.”

You can browse everyone else’s pictures for...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

How to Solve Your Biggest Summer Problems

Use Vanilla to Keep Mosquitoes Away

Keeping mosquitoes away from you is easier (and nicer smelling) than you might think—just use vanilla extract! Vanilla contains alcohol, which keeps mosquitoes away.

Keep Bugs Away from Your Barbecue

Mosquitoes are a pain each summer, but you don’t have to buy citronella candles, mosquito coils, or the latest gadget—you can just use cardboard egg cartons and coffee trays (the kind you get when you order more than a couple of coffees to-go). Light them on fire, then blow them out and let them smolder in a fire-safe location. The smokes goes up into the air and keeps mosquitoes away. Another way to keep bugs like bees away is to leave open cans of soda around your outdoor party. Bugs will be attracted to the cans, and not your guests! As for ants, simply put the legs of your table in some large plastic cups. Ants can swim, and won’t be able to climb onto the table!

Get Rid of Indoor Ants

Have a bad ant problem that you don’t want to solve with smelly bug spray? Use a clothes freshener spray like Febreeze instead. It contains enough alcohol to kill the ants, but will leave the room smelling fresh.

Help for Bug Bites

Covered in bug bites? Make the itchiness go away with some toothpaste. Just apply some white, non-gel toothpaste to the spot and it will stop bothering you almost immediately!

Check to See if You Have Enough Propane

Nothing gets the summertime party going faster than firing up the backyard grill. Just make sure you don’t run out of gas during your BBQ! Even without a gas gauge, there is a way to figure out how much fuel you have left. Here’s what to do a day or two before the your guests are set to arrive: Boil water, then pour it down the side of the tank. Place your hand on the side: the cool part has propane inside, the warm part is empty.

Clean Your Grill Fast

Our favorite way to clean a grill? With an onion! Pierce a half an onion with a grill fork, then run it over a warm grill. The onion contains anti-bacterial properties that help clean the grill!

Lighter Fluid Substitution

If you run out of lighter fluid, you can use sugar instead. Something else that works well? Doritos.

Keep Burgers from Breaking Up

Do your burgers...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

How to Get Better at Cycling

If you've been riding a bike since childhood, when you had a horn and streamers on your handlebars, you may think that cycling is as easy as, well ... riding a bike. But there's a lot more to it if you truly want to know how to get better at cycling.

I was watching the World Triathlon Series race in Leeds yesterday. There were times when even I, an experienced rider and racer, was cringing as the cyclists ripped through the city streets, mere centimeters from each other's wheels. When you watch cyclists of this caliber, you really start to appreciate the importance of proper cycling.

The type of technique I am referring to shows up in their smooth pedaling, their judicious braking, and their seamless gearing. It also shows up in their hairpin turns, their tight grouping and their overall safety at high speeds.

This isn't the type of stuff you learn from a spin class (actually, quite the opposite) or from pedaling your commuter around town (although that helps). It also doesn't automatically come from owning an expensive carbon fiber bike or a flashy cycling outfit (also known as a kit). This stuff takes practice, practice, more practice, and focus.

Cycling Physical Fitness

Technique and fitness often go hand in hand. Obviously, if you lack the strength, stamina, flexibility, and focus, you won't ever achieve the level of technique required to ride with the lead pack safely.

For example, if you're riding up a steep hill without adequate strength, power, and endurance, you won't be able to keep your cadence high and your exertion low. When you are coming down that hill, your fitness switches to upper body strength that helps you handle the bike, flexibility to get down low to reduce wind resistance and of course the confidence and nerve to allow yourself to hit some top speeds.

Cycling Mental Psychology

A recent research paper about the effects of cycling on cognitive function and well-being in older adults shows that cycling is not only good for your body, but it's also good for your brain. And the benefit goes both ways. The more you practice good cycling technique, the more you embed the movement patterns into your neuromuscular pathways. (Neuromuscular pathways are the points where an electrical impulse from the nervous system is passed to the muscle). The more that happens, the closer you get to riding like a pro. Like I said before, practice, practice, practice.

The main areas of cycling technique are:

• pedaling
• gearing
• cadence...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

The Power of Nuclear Weapons with Dr. Alex Wellerstein

I’m here today with Dr. Alex Wellerstein, a historian of science and nuclear weapons and a professor at the Stevens Institute of Technology in New Jersey. He has a Ph.D .in the History of Science from Harvard and was previously an Associate Historian with the American Institute of Physics. Alex is an expert in nuclear weapons, especially how secrecy is used to control nuclear technology. 

Thank you for being here, Alex.

I’m happy to be here. 

I think even if you don’t understand the technology completely, we all know that nuclear bombs are not like other bombs. And in your writing, you’ve called the nuclear bomb a “special bomb.” What do you mean by that and what role does science play in making it “special?” 

The question of [whether] nuclear weapons [are] totally different from everything else or ... just a regular bomb made bigger again—people have been arguing about this since before the atomic bomb was even made when people were still working on it. But at its core, nuclear weapons just have a potential that conventional weapons don’t have. And that ultimately comes down to physics.

Your average conventional chemical weapon like TNT— As a TNT molecule breaks down it releases some energy. It releases about one electron volt or so of energy. You don’t have to know what that is to know that when I tell you that a uranium atom releases 200 million electron volts, you can see that’s a big step up. The consequence of all this is that for a much smaller weapon, a much smaller amount of reacting material, you can get extreme explosive results. 

If you reacted one kilogram of uranium-235 completely, you would get about 20,000 tons of TNT-equivalent worth of explosives. That’s about the size of the Hiroshima bomb. One kg of uranium—you could hold that in your hand! That’s nothing, and to have that destroy entire cities, that changes things. And that’s not even as big as they get. 

So when people say, and when I say, there’s something different, there’s something special, there’s something unusual, that’s what they mean. There’s potential in here that’s thousands of times to millions of times more destructive than anything else out there. 

Very intimidating. So, you’ve created this incredibly interesting interactive nuclear effects simulator called NUKEMAP...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

How to Write the Names of Computer Programs and Formats

A listener named Hernán wrote that he was writing about Word documents and PDF documents or files. He said, “I am struggling to know the proper way to address the name of these items; is it ‘Word document’ or ‘word document’? Is it ‘.pdf’ document with a period, or just ‘pdf,’ or all capital ‘PDF’?” He also asked how to talk about multiple PDF files. In other words, how to make “PDF” plural.

These are great questions. I’ve had to look up the answers myself in the past.

According to the Chicago Manual of Style, the names of computer programs, operating systems, and so on are capitalized and written without quotations. For example, you’d write that you created a Word document (with “Word” capitalized and “document” lowercase).

Chicago also says that you write file formats in all caps, so you would then write that you converted your Word document to a PDF or a PDF file.

The F in “PDF” doesn't stand for “file.” It stands for “format” in “portable document format” so “PDF file” isn't redundant.

If you have two, they are PDFs (with “PDF” in all caps and then a lowercase S at the end).

The AP Stylebook is less clear about these kinds of abbreviations, but it does say to use all caps for “JPEG,” “GIF,” “PDF,” and “MP3.” On the other hand, it recommends lowercase for “zip files” and lowercase if you have to quote someone talking about a “.exe” file, for example.

Thanks for the question, Hernán. I hope that helped!

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.

Mignon Fogarty is Grammar Girl and the founder of Quick and Dirty Tips. Check out her New York Times bestseller, “Grammar Girl’s Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing.”

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

5 Ways to Excel at Parenting When You’re Discouraged

Parenting when everything is going right with the world can leave you feeling unstoppable. Don't you just love those moments in time when your child is thriving at school and sports, on top of homework, putting away his clean laundry, funding his own weekend fun by working a great part-time job, and maintaining solid friendships? He even manages to tell you he loves you—just because! Sure, those are the things parenting dreams are made of. But there are also plenty of times when life comes at you hard—your kid is flunking two classes, breaks a leg during practice, couldn't care less about homework (or any kind of work), and has punks for friends. Not to mention, you have your own struggles—a difficult boss, a furnace on the fritz, bills to pay, and can’t remember the last time you did anything for yourself.

But when life knocks us down, we still have kids to care for. The show must go on! Here are five ways you can bring your A game to parenting even when you feel the most discouraged.

#1 - Don’t Compare Yourself to Others

One of my tendencies when I’m struggling with any difficult situation in my life is to immediately look around at my friends, co-workers, family members and, yes, even social media platforms (hello, Facebook!) and compare my own messy life with how everyone else seems to be doing.

Here's one example that always comes to mind. Three of my children were diagnosed with significant speech and developmental delays when they were around 2-3 years old. After weeks of intense testing and evaluations, we had to come to grips with this very unsettling news and gear up for a few years of very involved therapy interventions to help get them back on track.

Before I was emotionally ready myself to dive in and learn all that I needed to both advocate for and support my young kids, I ventured into the very murky waters of comparison. I began noticing the behaviors and language habits of nearly every child we encountered, even strangers in the grocery store. At the time, I couldn’t help myself because I was desperately looking for patterns my speech delayed kids had in common with their normally developing peers.

In Psychology Today’s article, 3 Reasons to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others, Dr. Deborah Carr discusses the allure of comparison. It's basically a means to find out how we, ourselves, are doing. “While comparisons can be informative," she said, "they’re almost always discouraging, because someone...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

How to Conquer Your Fear of Driving

This week, by request from Marilyn in Massachusetts, we’ll cover fear of driving. As fellow Bay Staters, Marilyn and I know that Massachusetts drivers are not called Massholes for nothing. Indeed, of the cities with the dubious distinction of having the worst drivers in the nation, 3 of the top 5 are in Massachusetts. 

But no matter where you live, being scared to drive can really get in the way; indeed, if life is a highway, it’s easy for a phobia to push you into breakdown lane. Unless we’re lucky enough to live in a city with great public transportation, driving is necessary for basic freedom and independence.

But not all fear of driving looks the same: there are generally four reasons people are afraid to drive.

The first is a traumatic experience. Let’s take Nora for example: When Nora was twenty-five, she was driving home from a night out and got hit by a driver who was texting. Thankfully, even though her car was totaled, Nora was relatively unscathed and just needed a few stitches. But three years later, she hasn’t driven since.

If your story is like Nora’s, it makes sense that you don’t feel safe in a car. For you, the possibility of an accident is all too real and all too salient. If you’re having nightmares or flashbacks (also called re-experiencing), are on edge, tense, easily startled, and have trouble sleeping (also called hyperarousal), avoiding the car (predictably called avoidance) completes the trifecta of posttraumatic stress disorder, or PTSD. Indeed, up to one-third of people who are in a serious accident have PTSD 30 days or more after the accident.

A second theme of driving fear is Erik’s. Erik sometimes has panic attacks, and while he’s never had one while driving, he’s convinced that if he does, he’ll lose control of the car and unintentionally re-create the big crash scene in Talladega Nights (“Rickyyyy!”).

The problem is that his fear creates a cycle: Erik’s fear that he’s a split second away from a horrible accident is stressful, and stress (a pounding heart, feeling lightheaded, and more) feels a lot like panic, which in turns convinces him he’s on the verge of an attack. Next thing Erik knows, he’s pulled over on the side of the road, convinced he narrowly missed panicking and losing control of the car.

Our third variation is Karla. Karla gets...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

When to Capitalize Articles (Such as "the") in Publication Names

7 Ways to Treat Poison Ivy

1. Dishwashing Liquid

Curing a poison ivy rash can be as easy (and cheap) as some dishwashing liquid! Its grease-fighting ingredients are also perfect for removing urushiol, the chemical in poison ivy that causes so much itching. Wash the rash with dishwashing liquid and water as soon as possible after contact with poison ivy, and it will help prevent the itch.

2. Oatmeal Bath

Oatmeal is a common ingredient in scrubs and body washes—and for good reason! It’s loaded with anti-inflammatory powers thanks to two chemicals, avenanthramides and phenols, which make it a wonderful treatment for all sorts of skin conditions, including acne, eczema, sunburn, and yes, poisonous-plant rashes. Make your own oatmeal bath at home with one cup of uncooked oats: Finely grind the oats in a blender and pour into a tub filled with warm water. The rashy patient should sit in the tub for 15 minutes for a skin-calming soak.

3. Alcohol

As soon as you notice there’s been contact with poison ivy, coat the area with rubbing alcohol. It’s especially handy if there’s no place to wash up immediately (like when you’re camping), and it will eliminate the plant’s itch-inducing urushiol. Take a bottle with you on hikes or anytime you journey into potential ivy-dwelling territory. If you don’t have rubbing alcohol, anything containing alcohol will do—and yes, that includes beverages.

4. DIY Solution

Try this cooling compress for a burning, itchy rash: Combine a third of a cup of vinegar and one cup of water and pop it in the fridge. For a quick cool down, soak a soft cloth or small towel in the solution and hold it against the skin.

5. Not Just for Baby’s Bum

Whether it’s poison ivy, oak, or sumac, diaper rash cream can come to the rescue! Its cream contains zinc oxide, which offers soothing relief and tames that irksome itch.

6. Pepto Rub

Although normally used for digestive troubles, Milk of Magnesia and Pepto-Bismol are great for skin rashes too, including those from poisonous plants. Soak a cotton ball in the liquid and apply to the rash: The alkaline properties in the stomach meds cool the inflamed skin and help control the itch.

7. Salt Bath

To help relieve the itching of a rash caused by poison ivy, soak the affected area in a strong...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

Quick and Dirty Tips From the Great Economists

The most striking thing about the Great Economists, starting with the father of economics, Adam Smith, is that they tackled the biggest challenges of the day and did not limit themselves to narrow questions that could be answered neatly. Adam Smith, for instance, weighed in on the American War of Independence when he timed the publication of his seminal work, The Wealth of Nations, to come out in 1776. In it, he urged the British government to stop fighting a ruinous war and instead trade with the former colony as equals.

His disciple, David Ricardo, similarly led efforts to promote international trade and openness through repealing the protectionist Corn Laws in the mid-19th century. Ricardo actually never met Adam Smith, but he learned his economics from The Wealth of Nations. After making a fortune as a stockbroker, Ricardo became bored and happened to pick up Smith's seminal book while on vacation and taught himself economics!

Both Smith and Ricardo were also actively engaged in making policy. All of the Great Economists were. Smith became the Commissioner of Customs for Scotland while Ricardo became a Member of the British Parliament.

When there’s a breakdown in consensus about the economy, globalization, and income inequality, that provides an opportunity for a battle of ideas to take place.

This tradition of the great thinkers playing an active role in policymaking continued with the later Great Economists of the 20th century who argued against the rise of communism and socialism. Joseph Schumpeter may be best known for coming up with the idea of 'creative destruction.' Schumpeter's concept helps us to understand how the biggest mobile phone maker just ten years ago was Nokia, which has since been out-competed by Samsung, Apple, and others. Arguably, his most influential book was Capitalism, Socialism and Democracy, which was part of the debate in the post-war period about the best system of economic organization.

Another example is the introduction of Social Security and other programs.  They provided more of a social safety net, which changed the capitalism of Adam Smith's day to address the problems that were revealed by the Long Depression of the late 19th century and the 1930s Great Depression as well as the high levels of income inequality seen in the Gilded Age. The opening of markets, particularly in the 1980s under Ronald Reagan, was also influenced by Great Economists such as Milton Friedman and Friedrich Hayek, who were advocates of the free market.

All of this means that the capitalist system has undergone significant change during the past 250 years. And today, the system needs to be looked at again to make it suit the needs and challenges of the 21st century.

Tips from the Great...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

How to Manage Health Benefits When You Leave a Job

When you leave a job, there are usually some loose ends with your benefits that need to be tied up before your last day. Some perks end right away, but others continue after you leave or require you take some action to manage them wisely. No matter if you quit, are laid-off, or get fired, it’s important to understand your rights and options for getting the most out of your health benefits between jobs. In this post, I’ll review what happens with common health-related benefits once you’re no longer employed.

3 Health Benefits to Manage When Leaving a Job

The benefits you have at work vary depending on your industry, company size, and employer preferences. Once you know that you’ll be moving on, ask your human resources administrator about the health benefits you’re eligible for and how to access them after you leave.

Here’s what you should know about three health-related employee benefits when you’re no longer employed.

1. Health insurance

There’s no doubt that group health insurance is one of the most valuable benefits you can get as an employee. In general, your policy extends through the end of the month that you leave a job. For example, if your last day on the job is July 2, your health coverage will likely end at midnight on July 31.

Here are several options you may have to continue getting health coverage:

• Enrolling in a spouse’s health plan
• Enrolling in a parent’s health plan if you’re younger than age 26
• Getting free or low-cost health coverage through Medicaid if you have low income
• Getting free or low-cost coverage for young dependents through the Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP)
• Shopping for a plan in the government’s health insurance marketplace

Depending on your income, these options may be more affordable than opting for COBRA, which I’ll cover in a moment.

You can learn more and compare individual and family health plan prices on the marketplace by working with an insurance broker, using health insurance websites, or visiting healthcare.gov. If your income is below certain limits based on your family size, you’ll qualify for a federal subsidy, which reduces your healthcare premiums.

Open enrollment for marketplace health plans is limited to the last few weeks of the year. However, losing your group coverage at work is one of several life events that qualify you for a...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

Wellness Is Not the Enemy

Writer Jessica Knoll recently published an op-ed in the New York Times titled “Smash the Wellness Industry.” in which she suggests that our pursuit of “wellness” is actually undermining both our health and our happiness—especially that of women.

In her piece, Knoll recounts her recovery from what she describes as a “poisonous relationship between a body I was indoctrinated to hate and food I had been taught to fear.” Like many successful young women, Knoll got sucked into a toxic culture of extreme dietary restriction, excessive exercise, and various other rituals of purification and penance all packaged in the guise of “wellness.”  

Dieting has become something of a dirty word lately, and rightfully so: it clearly doesn’t work. But the most toxic aspects of dieting culture—the pursuit of an unrealistic body ideal at the expense of your physical comfort and emotional well-being—haven’t gone away. According to Knoll, dieting has simply been rebranded as wellness, and under cover of this benign new label, is continuing to perpetrate the same fraud.  We now have a generation of wellness influencers selling detoxes, cleanses, and elimination diets as a way of looking and feeling your best.

Dieting has become something of a dirty word lately, and rightfully so: it clearly doesn’t work.

In her pursuit of wellness (or, more accurately, thinness), Knoll found herself alternating between bouts of “clean eating” and violent bingeing. That’s not wellness. That’s not looking or feeling your best. Fortunately, Knoll finally found relief from this unhealthy cycle working with a dietitian who specializes in intuitive eating, a process she describes in more detail in her article.

Jessica Knoll makes some important points in her article. But there are a couple of things I’d like to respond to.

One is the idea that men are largely immune to this unwholesome influence. She describes having lunch with some highly accomplished and successful women who spent the first part of their meeting bashing their bodies and comparing their respective diet rules. Knoll fantasizes that the men at the next table were unburdened by these...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

6 Low-Stress Tips for Staying Fit on Vacation

It's getting warm (in the northern hemisphere, at least), and that means summer vacation is right around the corner. I'm going to say it: We should all take a break from work to enjoy some sunshine and outdoor time. But that doesn't mean we should take a break from fitness. In fact, some of us think summer is even more reason to head out there and get some serious movement in. Movement is the key to staying fit on vacation.

Who wants to hang out in a gym while they're on their dream vacation? Nobody, that's who.

The problem with mixing holiday time and exercise time is, well, who wants to hang out in a gym while they're on their dream vacation? Nobody, that's who. So, let's flip that thought around and focus instead on how you can incorporate movement into your vacation. It's possible to stay active without feeling like you're exercising.

A Warning About Losing Fitness

Before we go any further, you may already be thinking “Whatever, Brock. Why do I even need to worry about this.” I've got an answer for that. Let’s consider the ramifications of doing nothing during your vacation. The hard truth is that the body starts experiencing significant changes after as little as one week of inactivity.

In an older Get-Fit Guy article, How Fast Do You Lose Fitness, we found out that when we stop training, we almost immediately start to lose plasma and blood volume. This means that your heart rate for a given intensity will naturally increase.

After approximately 10-14 days, your maximum oxygen utilization drops at a rate of about 0.5 percent a day. After a two-week fitness break, your brain’s ability to recruit muscle drops by 1-5 percent. After three to four weeks off, your muscles begin to atrophy, your fatty acid utilization drops, and you become more sensitive to fluctuations in blood sugar.

When you get back from your vacation and start moving again, you can expect it to take roughly twice as long to get back into shape as the time you’ve spent being inactive. That means if you take two weeks off, it could take four weeks to build back up to your previous fitness level. But there's some good news. If you’re already fit with good training history, that time can definitely be shortened. We’ll talk about that, and a thing called supercompensation, in a moment.

Should you Move, Exercise, or Train?

OK, here's a quick refresher. The three categories of fitness are Movement, Exercise, and Training. Movement is the...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

5 Important Facts You Should Know About Ticks

As the weather warms, stories of ticks and the diseases they carry become more prevalent in the news, from stories of a coming "tickpocalypse" to an unforgettable photo from the Center for Disease Control in the United States comparing ticks to the size of the seeds on a poppy seed muffin. Should you be worried about ticks? Here are five important facts summarizing what you should know to protect yourself against ticks.

1. Ticks and tick-borne illnesess are on the rise.

In a recent report, the Center for Disease Control in the United States noted that in 2004, 27,000 people were diagnosed with diseases from mosquitos, ticks, and fleas. That number jumped to 96,000 diagnoses in 2016, more than tripling over the last twelve years. 60% of those diagnoses were from tick-borne diseases, and of the nine new pathogens identified in that time, seven were tick-borne.

The authors of the report note that warmer temperatures mean there are larger swaths of the country where ticks can survive and thrive. Efforts at suburban reforestation bring woods, and thus ticks, closer to where people live. More air travel means the little arachnids can be transported to new areas as well. A lack of new vaccines in the recent past also contributes to the rise in infections of tick-borne diseases.

2. Most cases of Lyme disease go undiagnosed.

There are an estimated 300,000 new cases of Lyme disease in the United States each year, but only 30,000 of those cases are reported to the CDC. Lyme disease can go easily undiagnosed because the symptoms tend to be highly varied and can depend on where the tick bite occurs. A telltale rash often forms at the sight of the bite but this rash can go unnoticed if hidden in a spot like under the hair or your scalp. The rash also fades after several days erasing the evidence if not caught early enough. Many tick-borne diseases are characterized early on by flu-like symptoms and then later by joint pain and eventual neurological problems.

In the United States, the CDC notes that 95% of cases of Lyme disease are reported...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

5 Steps to Deal With Being Overloaded at Work

Today we’re talking being overloaded at work. Because sometimes you just have too much to do.

Grandma Cuddles’s controller Chip was ferklempt. Even though he’s usually an overachiever, he’s feeling like there’s just too much on his plate.

Grandma’s latest business is a golf course. The kiddies just love to play in the sand trap. When a member accidentally hits a ball into the sand, they kids bring it right back to the clubhouse. They build strong running muscles, dexterity in avoiding golf clubs, and valuable sales skills from upselling billionaire customers like Jeffrey Epstein on vacation packages. 

Chip has to track each pre-schooler’s expenses individually, so all costs can be allocated precisely to each little tyke. After all, Grandma thinks every youngster must learn to carry their own weight for society. That leaves Chip to create profitability measures on a per-child basis. 

He also has a task list that’s a hundred pages long. He’s constantly thinking about creating tracking systems, balancing accounts, thinking about the company direction, and a dozen other things. He’s also keenly aware that it’s been ages since he’s replenished his psyche with a trip back to nature.

Chips is going crazy, and the reason is that he’s not just busy, he’s fundamentally overcommitted. That means he has 25 hours’ worth of work but only 24 hours in which to do it. 

1. Admit the truth

The first step of dealing with overcommitment is to admit you’re overcommitted. This isn’t easy. We’ve been brainwashed by our corporate overlords to think that no matter how much we have to do, there’s some productivity trick, some app, or some lifehack that will let us do it all. 

There’s only so much you can do in a day, and no matter how hard you try, no matter how smart you work, you can’t do more than that.

No. That’s not true. There’s only so much you can do in a day, and no matter how hard you try, no matter how smart you work, you can’t do more than that. 

So stop trying. 

2. Get the big picture

Get your hands around your overwhelm by taking a step back and getting the big picture. Grab a piece of paper and list your major commitments. Don’t write down tasks; write down projects. Chip’s list is:

1. Preparing tax forms to submit for insurance claims
2. Helping Cuddles set strategy (she’s angling for the contract running the day spa at Mar-a-Lago)
3. Renovating the office
4. Consolidating employee...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

An interview with Ethan Sawyer

Why College Essays Are About More Than Just College

Ethan Sawyer (aka The College Essay Guy) has been helping students write their best college essays for more than a decade, and along the way, he's identified four kinds of essays that can help anyone find their story, whether they've overcome a dramatic challenge or had a simple, normal life. He's also learned that the essay process (and its deadlines and thought exercises) can be a powerful tool for self-discovery that can help anyone, even people well beyond their college essay years. 

Listen to the interview to learn more about the tools Ethan uses to help students write their essays, about why writing a college essay is a lot like writing a screenplay, and about some of Ethan's favorite essays. You can also read a rough transcript.

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

Kids Gaming - How to Keep Your Video Gamer Safe

Now that summer break has arrived, our kids have a lot more free time on their hands, and they’re looking to spend much of it hanging out with their friends. Gaming is a favorite pastime for today’s kids. It’s quite possible many of your child’s friendships were made online and they spend some of their time socializing virtually while playing video games.  Busy parents are looking for ways to keep screen time both safe and balanced, particularly during a longer stretch of unstructured time like summer vacation. Today’s guest can help!

Dan Feierabend is a professional audio producer, high-level gamer, and the father of two. He’ll share ways you can establish safe gaming protocols for your family. Because Dan loves the art of gaming, he realizes the many ins and outs of today’s video game world. He encourages his own children to enjoy gaming while he acts as a coach to instill good online behaviors and interactions.

Today we’ll cover:

1. Parental controls for safety

2. How to handle cyberbullying

3. How to safely communicate with others online

4. Managing screen time  

5. How to be a part of your child’s gaming world

Parental Controls for Safety

Dan says:

Xbox One, PlayStation 4, and Nintendo Switch consoles all have Parental controls that allow you to set a password, limit content by age and ESRB/PEGI ratings, restrict purchases, control screen time, and even turn them on or off with a smartphone app. Nintendo’s app even lets you set predetermined screen time and display on-screen warnings when your young gamers are out of time or have exceeded their time.

...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

How to Quit Opioids: A Conversation with Podcast Host Eric Zimmer

Today’s show is a little bit of a hybrid between the usual monologue and a guest interview—think of it as a BOGO. First, we’ll dive into the history of the opioid epidemic and look at the disconnect between research-recommended opioid treatment versus the most commonly administered treatment. Then, we’ll talk about how to quit opioids with podcast host and TEDx speaker Eric Zimmer who, at the age of 24, was homeless, addicted to heroin, and facing long jail sentences. Today, he’s a seasoned behavior coach and host of the excellent podcast, The One You Feed. His podcast title is based on an old parable about two metaphorical wolves who battle within us.

So first, let’s talk history. To paraphrase the Talking Heads, how did we get here? How did the opioid epidemic become the opioid epidemic?

Every day, 130 Americans die from an opioid overdose. In 2017, that added up to more than 47,000 people.

Let’s start where we are now: every day, 130 Americans die from an opioid overdose. In 2017, that added up to more than 47,000 people. It’s to the point where, for the first time in decades, life expectancy in the U.S. is decreasing, driven in part by opioid overdoses.

The First Wave

The opioid epidemic didn’t just develop from one seed; it grew from many. One sprouted in 1980, when a five-sentence letter to the editor was published in one of the most prestigious medical journals, The New England Journal of Medicine, which stated that opioids were not addictive. Like a game of telephone gone wrong, what followed was hundreds of citations of the letter justifying increased prescription of opioids. But few of the citations noted that the letter referred to inpatients prescribed opioids during brief and closely monitored hospital stays. The letter was never meant to apply to opioids in an outpatient setting, nor for long-term use.

Meanwhile, another seed was planted. Many doctors and pain organizations, including the World Health Organization, began a well-intentioned campaign to treat pain. From breakthrough cancer pain to chronic...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

Are You Using Hyphens Correctly?

A lot of people get confused about when to use hyphens when writing ages, and I think it’s because sometimes an age is a noun, sometimes an age is an adjective that comes before a noun and modifies it, and sometimes an age is an adjective that comes after a noun.

When to Hyphenate Ages

First we’ll talk about when you do hyphenate an age: You do it when the age is acting like a noun and when the age is an adjective that comes before the noun and modifies the noun.

In this example, the age—70-year-old—is used as a noun, and you hyphenate it:

• That 70-year-old with a purple hoodie loves Justin Bieber.

Just as you’d say, “That woman with the purple hoodie loves Justin Bieber,” with “woman” as the noun, the age—70-year-old—can take the place of “woman.” When an age is a noun like that, you hyphenate it.

Here’s an example of an age that comes before the noun it modifies. You hyphenate here too:

• My 8-year-old neighbor wrote a poem about commas for National Grammar Day.

In that example, “8-year-old” is an adjective that describes the noun, “neighbor.” 

When to Not Hyphenate Ages

Now we’ll move on to when you don’t hyphenate ages: When the age is part of an adjective phrase after the noun, you don't hyphenate it. For example,

• Beyoncé is 37 years old.
• John’s twin sons are nearly 2 years old.

Neither of those ages are hyphenated.

Summary

So to sum up, you hyphenate an age when it’s a noun or when it’s a modifier that comes before a noun. 

The main time you don’t hyphenate an age is when it comes after the noun it modifies. 

Ages are like every other compound modifier that way: you hyphenate them before the noun but not after the noun.

[Note: Chicago style and AP style differ when it comes to ages. Chicago style is to use the word for ages 100 and lower, and AP style is to always use the numeral for ages. Our site uses a modified version of AP style, which is why the example reads “8-year-old” instead of “eight-year-old.”]

Read more about hyphens.

 

...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

The Emphatic 'This'

Recently, one of our listeners wrote in with a question about the word “this”:

“I have a question regarding the use of the word ‘this’ in regard to something that is not present. My husband gets irritated every time I say something like, ‘So I was listening to this podcast...’ He tells me that there is no podcast in the room, so I can't use that word. I explain to him that I can use it because I am referring to a specific podcast. Could you please clarify (hopefully in my favor!) the use of ‘this’?

Although we hesitate to jump into the middle of a spousal disagreement, we’ll diplomatically try to answer the question.

The Emphatic 'This' Means Replacing 'A' with 'This' to Add Emphasis

First of all, the usage our listener is talking about is known as the “emphatic this.” It happens when you replace the indefinite article “a” with “this” to add emphasis. 

For example, instead of saying “Let me tell you about a book I’m reading,” you might say, “Let me tell you about this book I’m reading.” Instead of “A coworker is making me so mad,” you’d say, “This coworker is making me so mad.”

Replacing the word “a” with “this” creates a subtle but noticeable difference in the sentence. Is the usage somewhat colloquial? Yes. Is it appropriate in formal writing? Probably not. Is it acceptable just about anytime else? I’m going to go with yes.

Is the Emphatic 'This' Correct?

Here’s what “Merriam-Webster’s Concise Dictionary of English Usage” says about this topic: 

“It is not rare in speech for ‘this’ to be used for emphasis in place of the indefinite article, as in ‘This guy said to me....’ Use of the emphatic ‘this’ in writing has sometimes been discouraged, but our evidence shows that it is neither rare nor inappropriate in writing of a conversational tone.” 

“Fowler’s Dictionary of Modern English Usage” concurs. It notes that “this” is used in narrative writing or speech “to refer in a familiar manner to a person, place, [or] object not previously mentioned.” Fowler’s notes that this usage seems to have emerged in American English in the 1920s. 

The editor of “Fowler’s” can be quite firm when he thinks a certain usage is incorrect. He says that...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

6 Foods to Prevent Gout or Relieve a Gout Attack

Here are 6 substances that will help you avoid gout or relieve a gout attack quickly. But first, learn more here: What Is Gout?

Life Is a Bowl of Cherries

If you’re having an attack of gout, grab yourself a bowl of cherries. They contain an anti-inflammatory called anthocyanin, which reduces gout pain. Eat a few handfuls of cherries every day during an attack. If you can’t find fresh cherries, drink a cup of cherry juice or eat dried cherries.

A Cup of Joe

Attention coffee lovers: high coffee intake can help prevent gout. Drinking four, five, and even six or more cups of coffee a day is associated with a 40 to 60 percent reduction in the risk for gout for men. While there may be other reasons you might not want to drink so much coffee (jittery, anyone?), if you’re at risk for gout, ask your doctor if upping your coffee intake could work for you.

Vinegar

Apple cider vinegar is thought to help gout pain and to prevent attacks. Try taking a tablespoon in the morning and evening. If you don’t like the taste of it straight, simply dilute it by mixing it into a glass of water. You can even add a little honey to sweeten it up.

See Also: How to Diagnose and Treat Gout

Drink to Your Health

Stay hydrated. By drinking plenty of water and other liquids (cranberry juice, cherry juices, and herbal teas are good options), you can flush excess uric acid from your system, so that you have less pain.

Eat Turmeric

Add more turmeric into your diet. It can help reduce inflammation associated with gout. Turmeric will add a beautiful color to your favorite dishes as well as a subtle flavor...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

Redefining Success is the First Step Toward Achieving It

In my experience, I have found that few people actually take the time to figure out what success is for them. Many mistakenly assume it’s universally defined, as though everyone on the planet has the same aspirations and keeps score in life the same way. Many others operate on the flawed assumption that someone else has the right to impose his or her personal view of success upon them.

While some people think success means attaining the goals that have been set for them by others—whether by their families, their managers, the media, or societal norms and expectations—others think success means following in the steps of those successful people who preceded them. Still others are blinded by the intoxicating sparkle of fame and fortune as the measure of true success.

Fully two-thirds of the American workforce does not feel a deep connection to the work they do; they are simply going through the motions, day in and day out.

Back in 2014, Strayer University and Ipsos, a global market research firm, conducted a survey to find out what success means to Americans. Fully 90 percent of those surveyed said that success is more about happiness than power, money, or fame. (In fact, only one in five respondents felt that monetary wealth is what defines success.) In addition, 67 percent felt that success means achieving personal goals, while 60 percent believed that success is loving what you do for a living.

The problem is that relatively few people have the courage to look deep within themselves to get to the heart of what true success means to and for them. Granted, there are many people on the planet for whom success lies almost exclusively in making sure that their families have enough food to eat, clean water to drink, and adequate shelter. But for those of us who have the opportunity to choose what we want to be when we grow up, it behooves us to choose our life’s path in a way that allows us to pursue and accomplish our unique definition of success, rooted in our sense of purpose and core values. This isn’t just for the well-heeled Ivy Leaguers among us. This is something that everyday people can—and should—do.

For many of us, it’s a struggle to clarify how we define success for our lives, not to mention how we pursue it. And when we don’t, the consequences for our careers—and our lives—can be devastating.One of those consequences comes in terms of how we show up to work every day. Gallup has tracked employee engagement—the extent to...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

Can Minors and Seniors Have a Roth IRA?

A Roth IRA is one of the most flexible types of retirement accounts if you understand the rules. Does that mean that a Roth retirement account can work for both seniors and minors?

A Florida voicemail caller named Kathy says, “I’m 69 years old and still working. Can I start a Roth IRA? If so, are there any restrictions for starting at this late date?”

And a Money Girl podcast listener named Adrian V. has a question about using a Roth IRA much earlier in life. He says, “On your podcast, you mentioned the benefits of a Roth IRA. I want to open one for my 10-year old daughter. I understand that she must have earned income in order to qualify. She’ll be doing babysitting and dog walking and won’t earn more than $1,000 per year. How can I document her income to avoid any trouble with the IRS?”

Those are both fantastic questions. Let's take a look at what seniors and the parents of minors need to know about using a Roth retirement account the right way.

Roth IRA Rules for Seniors

Let’s review important information about traditional and Roth accounts that apply to anyone over age 70½, whether you’re still working or not.

Traditional retirement accounts allow you to skip paying tax on contributions and investment earnings until you take withdrawals in retirement. Roth accounts have the opposite taxation because you must pay tax up front on contributions. However, you can withdraw both contributions and earnings completely tax-free in retirement—as long as you’ve owned the account for at least five years.

With most retirement accounts, you must begin taking withdrawals by April 1 of the year after you reach age 70½. These are known as required minimum distributions (RMDs).

Once you start taking RMDs from a retirement account, you can no longer make any new contributions to it.

You don’t have to take any money out of a Roth IRA if you don’t want to. You can use it as an estate planning tool by passing it along to your heirs as a tax-free inheritance.

But with a Roth IRA, there are no RMDs. You don’t have to take any money out of a Roth IRA if you don’t want to. You can use it as an estate planning tool by passing it along to your heirs as a tax-free inheritance.

Plus, you can continue making contributions to a Roth IRA after reaching age 70½. For 2019, you can contribute up to $5,500 to either a traditional or a Roth IRA. If you’re over age 50, you can contribute up to $6,500. But as I mentioned, once you’re over age 70½ you can only...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

Phone Numbers in Dialogue

Last week I had lunch with a friend who has a new book coming out. She’s at the stage where her publisher is copy editing her final manuscript, and she told me about a problem she’s been having that I think holds some valuable lessons. We’ll call my friend Helen.

Helen disagrees with her publisher about how some of the numbers should be handled in the manuscript. It’s actually more complicated than that because when she raised the issue with her editor, he actually agreed with her, but then stuck to the style that neither of them liked!

Here’s the story.

Helen has some dialogue in her novel where the characters talk about calling 9-1-1. For my foreign listeners, that is the emergency number in the United States. Her publisher uses The Chicago Manual of Style, as many book publishers do—that’s totally normal—and the general rule in Chicago is that you usually write out numbers in dialogue even when you might use the numerals in narrative text. 

You Often Write Out Numbers in Dialogue

For example, in the Chicago Manual of Style, you write out the words for the numbers one through 100, but use the numeral format for most bigger numbers. (I used the numeral “100” here because our website follows AP style for numbers, which is different.) So you’d use the numerals if you wrote something like “Aardvark only needs 2,400 more miles for a free plane ticket.” But you’d write out the words for 2,400 in dialogue if you wrote something like this:

Squiggly said, “Aardvark can be kind of obsessive. He once counted all his change by laying out two thousand four hundred pennies in rows on the table.”

Following this style, Helen’s copy editor changed her manuscript so the phone number 9-1-1 was spelled out. “He should call nine one one,” with the words “nine one one.” Helen thought this looked ridiculous, and her editor agreed, but then said there was nothing he could do about it because the publisher follows Chicago style.

When Helen and I talked about it at lunch, I thought the whole situation was ridiculous! 

You Can Make Exceptions

The first lesson I want you to learn is that you never have to slavishly follow a style guide when your common sense tells you what you’re writing should be different. Often there are situations that aren’t specifically covered by a style guide, and you should make your own judgement about what is best, maybe guided by similar rules that are covered by the style guide, but you should never feel like you have to force your work into something awkward just so it “fits the rules.” Trust me, the editors at the style guides would want you to use...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

Is Leaky Gut Syndrome a Legitimate Diagnosis?

Several times a week, I get emails from listeners asking me to dedicate an episode to leaky gut. Is this a real thing? How do you know if you have it? How can you heal or prevent a leaky gut?

To help me sort through what has become a veritable mountain of myth and misunderstanding on this subject, I’ve invited Tamara Duker Freuman, a registered dietitian nutritionist who specializes in digestive disorders, back to the Nutrition Diva podcast for an encore appearance.

Earlier this year, Tamara joined me on the podcast to talk about her book, The Bloated Belly Whisperer, in which she explains the many different causes of belly bloating and how to tailor an approach to your particular situation. If you heard that episode, then you know that Tamara really knows her stuff. And I can’t think of a better person to help us understand the mysterious (and, according to some people, extremely common) phenomenon popularly referred to as leaky gut syndrome.

The basic idea is that something— it might be a food, additive, environmental toxin, or even stress—causes the cells that line the digestive tract to become inflamed and irritated. As a result, the normally tight connections between these cells become more permeable (or “leaky.") Allegedly, this permeability allows toxins, bacteria or partially digested food to “leak” out of the intestines and into circulation, where they cause all kinds of havoc. Symptoms attributed to a leaky gut include fatigue, headaches, joint pain, and an entire range of digestive symptoms. 

Alternative medicine practitioners (or popular websites) might base a diagnosis of leaky gut syndrome on your symptoms. Or, they may recommend various lab tests— such as urine, blood, or stool tests—to confirm the diagnosis.

The next step is a protocol to heal the gut. These typically involve fasting or eliminating various foods and food groups that are thought to be inflammatory from the diet. Leaky gut protocols may also include introducing probiotic foods or probiotic supplements, along with a host of other dietary supplements. Often, but not always, people following these protocols experience relief from some of their symptoms, which would seem to validate the approach.

There's only a drop of truth here surrounded by an ocean of misinformation and misunderstanding.

But, as is so often the case, there's only a drop of truth here surrounded by an ocean of misinformation and misunderstanding.

In our interview, Tamara and I discuss:

• What intestinal permeability is (and isn’t)
• The potential causes of intestinal permeability
• What symptoms might be caused by intestinal permeability
• How researchers determine if...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

What Can Genes Tell Us About Fitness?

Several years ago, I received a tiny plastic test tube in my mailbox, so naturally, I spit in it and put it back in the mail. No, this was not an elaborate practical joke, I was actually submitting my DNA to a testing service called 23andMe.

A few weeks later, I received a report telling me all about myself, based on what they found in my genes that were contained in that saliva I put in the mail. There was information about my ancestry, my hair and eye color, some of my health predispositions and risks, and even what percentage of me is directly linked to Neanderthals (more than I would care to admit, to be honest).

As exciting and fun as that was, I didn't really find much in the way of actionable information in that report. I already knew that my family was predominantly Eastern European and that I had blue eyes and runny earwax. I was relieved to find out that I am not at increased risk of macular degeneration or Alzheimer's, but in the end, once I had read the reports (and shared them with my sister, since they are likely relevant to her as well) I pretty much went on with my life as usual. 

As a fitness and movement professional, I was aware of the growing market in DNA testing as it pertains to fitness. I often considered signing up for services such as DNAFit and FoundMyFitness. Would DNA testing lend any additional or helpful information? I was skeptical until I heard Dr. Dan Reardon MB ChB, BSc, co-founder and CEO of FitnessGenes, speak at a wellness conference in Los Angeles this spring. After hearing his presentation, I took a closer look into his company and what it had to offer me as someone who is focused on being (and staying) fit and healthy.

FitnessGenes

This is how it works:

1. You sign up at fitnessgenes.com (Although I have no monetary agreement or affiliate deal with this company, you can use code GETFITGUY25 to get 25% off) and choose one of their Tailored Workout Systems based on your specific goal and experience level. 
2. In a few days, you'll receive your DNA collection kit. Follow the instructions for correctly spitting into the tube and then pop it back in the mail. 
3. The FitnessGenes scientists extract your DNA from cheek cells that are naturally present in your saliva. 
4. After your DNA analysis is complete, you'll receive an email notification that your results are ready. You'll also get a link to your own online portal.
5. Login to the portal to see your DNA analysis, recommendations based on the analysis, personalized workout advice, and genetically tailored diet plans.

As you can see, my experience with this process was much more actionable than simply finding out that my...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

How to Manage Two Projects at Once

Managing one project can be enough of a challenge, but what do you do when you have to manage two projects at the same time? Listener Don wrote in:

Hi, Stever. I have recently been promoted to team lead at my call center job. They made me the leader of two teams that work on completely different projects. How can I organize my to-do list and time management to make sure both teams get what they need?

Ah, Don. Welcome to the 21st century! Juggling a dozen things at once is just what we do. Unfortunately, our brains weren’t really built for that. So, today, let’s explore how to juggle.

You didn’t say what your call center teams are in charge of. Common sense suggests that one team is doing outbound telemarketing for Grandma Cuddles' Day Care Center, while the other is taking inbound orders for Audrey II plant food. (Most owners just don’t have the stomach to do the dirty work when it comes to satisfying the desires of carnivorous plants.)

The problem is thrashing

Juggling multiple projects is hard because of “thrashing.” You start designing a script extolling the virtues of Grandma Cuddles' Day Care. You’re brainstorming a synonym for “cattle prod,” but you can’t focus. The whole time, your brain is worrying about Audrey II food inventory levels. Then when you concentrate on inventory, your brain worries about Cuddles filling her classes. She gets angry if classes aren’t filled to capacity, and she’s not cuddly when she’s angry.

You can’t bring your full brain power to bear on either team because you’re trying to do both at once.

You can’t bring your full brain power to bear on either team because you’re trying to do both at once. But paradoxically, you can manage both at once by creating a clean separation between the two. 

When you’re focusing on Cuddles, you need to focus just on Cuddles. When you’re focusing on Audrey IIs, you need to focus just on Audrey IIs. You can do this, as long as your brain knows that everything is under control. The only question is: whose control?

Use project time blocks

The answer is your calendar. Block out dedicated time each day for each team. From 8a – noon, you’ll put your full attention on Grandma’s indoctrination efforts. From noon – 1, you’ll eat lunch. And from 1p–5p, you’ll make the world a better place for Audrey IIs (which is what they want, anyway). 

During the Cuddles hours, you’ll be able to focus completely on Cuddles. Your brain will let you, because it knows you already...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips