How to Tell Your Child about Their Neurodivergence

Finding out that your child has a neurodevelopmental diagnosis such as ADHD, autism, or dyslexia can feel like a total departure from what you thought life with your child would be like. Parents often have a difficult time accepting and understanding the reality that their child’s brain works differently than the "typical" brain. It can also be a struggle to know when and how to educate their child about it.

To help lessen the anxiety that can come with tackling this issue, here are 7 tips for conversations with your child about being neurodiverse in a neurotypical world.

It begins with a conversation

In my experience, parents of neurodiverse kids can be reluctant to have a sit-down with their kiddo about their diagnosis. Parents often worry that their children will use the information as an avoidance strategy for tasks they don’t prefer. There’s also fear that their child will internalize negative ideas about themselves.

However, empowering children with knowledge about their diagnosis allows them to have a better understanding of their capabilities, sensitivities, challenges, and needs. Without knowing what support or accommodations they require, children are less able to make good decisions, advocate for themselves, or even keep themselves safe. If your child didn’t know they were allergic to avocados, for instance, they might head right for the guacamole!

When a child is asking why they’re different, it’s time to start talking about it.

Kids can tell when they’re somehow different from their peers. If they don't know the underlying reasons for this, they may come up with their own conclusions—incorrect ones—for why that might be. When a child is asking why they're different, why they go to therapists and evaluators, or why they have trouble in certain situations, it's time to start talking to them about their diagnosis.

While some parents prefer to have a professional explain the diagnosis to their child or to the whole family as a group, you can absolutely have that conversation yourself. Here are seven things to keep in mind if you do decide to have that conversation:

1. You need to understand your child's diagnosis—and accept it—yourself

After finding out about your child’s neurodifferences, you might experience fear and pessimism about the future. This is understandable: you had a different vision for how your family would look and feel and how your child would respond to and be received by the world.

Take the time to grieve the loss of the vision you had, which involves allowing yourself to not only experience your...

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