How to Make the Peer-to-Boss Transition

Today we begin with a congratulations to Modern Mentor listener Sylvie! She’s been promoted. But there’s a catch and she needs some advice. Here’s how Sylvie described it to me in an email she sent to modernmentor@quickanddirtytips.com:

 

“Hi Rachel. I’ve been on an account management team for 3 years. We’re a small team and sometimes it feels like family. Our boss left the company a few weeks ago and I’ve been promoted into his role. I’m so excited—I’ve been wanting the new challenge. But now my colleagues—my friends—have become my direct reports, and I’m their boss. I want to be successful in the role, but I’m worried my team will resent me or just not see me as a leader. How can I step into this role and make it a win for everyone?”

 

Sylvie, thanks for the question, and congratulations again. I’ve been in your shoes, and I’ve coached others through similar transitions. So let’s talk about some strategies you can use to build trust and credibility and deliver some amazing results through your team.

1. Own the awkward.

This situation isn’t uncommon. But it can be awkward. And the worst thing you can do is try to hide or ignore that reality.

 

So start by just putting it out there. Let your team know you’re so excited about the job, but this is a big change for everyone, and it’ll take time to adjust to the new dynamic.

 

What are you most uncertain about? Maybe you’re worried they don’t think you’re ready for the job, or that your friendships will fade. Let them know what’s on your mind and invite them to do the same. 

 

A shared sense of discomfort is something you can all watch for and manage together.

 

I was 27 the first time I landed in this situation. I spent my first few weeks in the role just pretending the awkward away. Which is vaguely like ignoring a gentle case of appendicitis, assuming it will just pass. Until the appendix bursts. In other words, not a great idea.

 

Finally, one day I pulled the team together and said “Hey. This is a weird moment for me and I’m sure it is for you too. I’m uncomfortable suddenly being the boss. We’ve always been peers and I have a lot to learn about how to do this well. I want to hear what this feels like for you—let’s just put it all out there.”

 

We ended up having a great conversation, laughing together for the first time in weeks. But we also articulated some of our biggest...

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