How to Manage Workplace Conflict

You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach…or maybe behind your eyes…when you have to face something icky going down between people at work? Maybe you’re one of the people, or possibly a bystander, or even the leader of one or more of the involved parties. But whatever your role, there is something universally uncomfortable and unsettling about having to deal with conflict in the workplace.

But there are positive and constructive ways to work through it. So let’s talk about some things you can do to help keep workplace conflict in check.

Tip #1: Separate signal from noise

In the realm of workplace conflict some things matter (signal) and some things don’t (noise). Let’s say you have an assertive colleague, Mary. In team meetings she always speaks first and frequently. She loves the sound of her own voice and it drives you bonkers. You avoid collaborating with her whenever possible. This presents a conflict.

But what’s the signal and what’s the noise?

She’s annoying – and that’s annoying. But it’s noise – it doesn’t really matter or have an impact on the business.  But her failure to be careful and thoughtful – to consider all the critical information before speaking up – that’s signal. There is real risk inherent in there.

Now you have clarity on what needs resolution.

A conflict that is just noise is a waste of your time and energy. Focus on finding the signals. That’s where you’ll invest in finding resolution.

Tip #2: Empathize with the other point of view

Before moving to action, it’s helpful to consider why someone is behaving in a way that may be triggering conflict. Let’s return to Mary. You’ve decided her issue is hubris – she believes her ideas are the best and most important, and therefore her voice must always be heard first.

I get it. I too assume the worst of the people who get under my skin. But have you considered other possibilities?

Maybe Mary is deeply insecure, and she speaks quickly because she doesn’t feel entitled to her seat at the table. Maybe Mary received feedback years ago that she wasn’t speaking up sufficiently, and now she’s overcorrecting. Maybe Mary is intimidated by you and feels she needs to speak before you do.

None of these are excuses for poor behavior. But considering the possibilities may bring more of your own empathy to the solution.

Tip #3: Consider your own role 

You’re amazing. And we both know it. But just for a second…can we consider the possibility that you may have a hand in this conflict as well? Is Mary over-delivering on ideas because she feels you may...

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