Choosing Your Dream College: Break the Family Mold

Regardless of where you are in the college application process, the first thing you need to think about is YOU: Your priorities and goals. You may think the college process is all about molding yourself to whatever the college or grad program wants you to become—that elusive “perfect” applicant. But as you’ll soon see, there is no perfect applicant. In college admissions and in life, you just play to your strengths and find ways to develop yourself into the best version of yourself.

Let's think about my client Jennifer.  As well rounded as she already was, Jennifer could have put even more pressure on herself to “build out” her weaknesses. She could have chosen to pursue AP literature and history classes so that she appeared across-the-board stellar to college admissions officers.

But Jennifer (wisely) chose to build on her strengths. She was already so well equipped in math and science: Why dilute her strengths in order to present a “perfect” façade, especially given that she didn’t plan to pursue a career in the humanities? Jennifer would have hurt her chances of getting into her dream college if she were more concerned about checking boxes than capitalizing on her strengths. So will you. Admissions officers want to know you; if you’re playing the role of “perfect applicant,” they’ll be able to tell. You’ll end up stressing out needlessly and possibly self-sabotaging.

Admissions officers want to know you; if you’re playing the role of “perfect applicant,” they’ll be able to tell.

Knowing yourself and playing to your strengths is easier said than done. For instance: What if everyone in your grade is taking AP physics, and you feel tempted to sign up for the class, too? Problem is, you don’t really want to: you already have a full and challenging class load, the class is notoriously difficult, and a solid understanding of physics isn’t needed for your future career goals.

It takes courage to go against the flow—to decide what’s best for you and to stick to your truth. In chapter three, we met Jennifer and Adam, who did just that. In this chapter, we’ll talk about the courage it takes to break the family mold: to chart your own path, believe in it, and see it through—even if the path is different than one your family has in mind.

Mary Ann Evans was a leading Victorian era writer whose work you might read in your English class under her pen name: George Eliot. Evans took on a pen name to protect her identity and overcome the stigma of being a female author in a time when women were second-class citizens. But breaking the family mold is just what she did: Eliot pursued and attained a formal education...

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