5 Ways to Nurture Your Child's Self-Worth

Today we're talking about the origins of your child’s self-worth, and the everyday ways you can make a regular practice of showing your child how important they are to you. Just because you experience love for your child - it doesn’t mean that your child feels loved. So it’s important that you show your child that you love them, because they see and experience themselves through your eyes.

Radical acceptance of your child means that you are responsive to the child you have - with all of their unique strengths and weaknesses - and to the hand you’ve been dealt.

One of the simplest - though not always the easiest - ways to nurture your child’s sense of self worth is to accept your child just as they are in any given moment. Radical acceptance of your child means that you are responsive to the child you have - with all of their unique strengths and weaknesses - and to the hand you’ve been dealt. Because this requires letting go of who you fear they’ll turn out to be, who you wish they were now, and your regret around who they’ve been in the past, many parents find this incredibly difficult. It's critical for parents to work their way through grief and mourning to be able to come to this place of acceptance.

When you’re able to stay present with and responsive to the child standing in front of you, whoever they are, they understand that they’re valuable to you and that your connection is always solid - in moments of joy and when they’re struggling.

Here are 5 ways to nurture your child’s self-worth:

Tip #1: Observe your child at play

In the rushing around parents do each day, we can forget the value of slowing down and attuning to the present moment. The first way you can show your children your love and acceptance is by engaging in what child development specialist Magda Gerber, called “wants nothing quality time.”  This is a time of connection with your child when you’re not requesting anything of them. You’re spending time with them without any agenda of your own. You don’t need to entertain and they don’t need to perform.

For five to 10 minutes each day, put your tasks and technology aside and observe your child while they play independently. You might even ask them if they mind if you watch them play for a while - some kids will really light up at this. Don’t involve yourself in their play unless they invite you in, your only task is to focus only on your child, and observe them with interest and curiosity. What is your child drawn to? What’s the theme of their play? How do they use their body and their creativity? What do they struggle...

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