3 Ways to Cope When You're Feeling Bad

After reading the title of this episode, you might be thinking, “But I already know how to feel bad, Dr. Johnson. I came here to figure out how to feel good!” Hear me out. I recently saw Time Magazine's cover of Naomi Osaka, and her quote was, "It's O.K. not to be O.K." I was inspired. I tell my patients all the time that it's normal to feel bad sometimes, and what it's really about is how we treat ourselves when we are not feeling our best.

When it comes to our mental health, many of us take the approach of: I'm sad, and now I'm going to be angry with myself or judge myself for feeling this way. This approach is completely ineffective. It exacerbates your mood state and inhibits your ability to address the core issue and heal. It's like waking up with a cold and deciding to break your own arm in response!

I want you to listen to me very carefully when I say this: It is entirely normal to feel bad sometimes. You're not weak or silly or deserving of pain because of it. It is simply a consequence of living that we must all learn to radically accept.

I was once talking to someone who plays roller derby, and they told me about how they had to learn how to fall. If you know how to fall, you can do it in a way that reduces the impact and likelihood of serious injury. You can apply this concept to your mental health. Let's talk about a few ways you can do that.

Tip #1: Change Your Mindset

Your mentality about experiencing unwanted emotions is key here. It's important to address yourself with compassion when you are in this state. Instead of screaming at yourself, “What is wrong with me?!” say instead, with care, “What do I need?” This approach helps to eliminate the anger and judgment that I mentioned earlier because you are assessing yourself with an open hand instead of a closed fist.

Tip #2: Use Your Five Senses

I am a Dialectical Behavior Therapy, or DBT, specialist. One of the skills I teach in DBT is self soothing through your 5 senses. The goal of this skill is to be kind to yourself by engaging in comforting or pleasant activities to provide relief from mental strain. This skill makes it much easier to get through a low period without making it worse. I usually encourage my patients to write down things you can do in each of the sense categories. Now, let's review some examples together.

Be kind to yourself by engaging in comforting or pleasant activities to provide relief from mental strain.

The first sense is sight, so you'll want to think of things that are visually pleasing. This could be pictures of family or friends, going to a museum...

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