18 Beliefs That Are Ruining Your Life (Part 2)

In part one of this episode, I introduced you to schema. Schemas are deep-set beliefs, or negative patterns, that develop during childhood and perist and expand throughout adulthood.

If you listened last week, you'll know the first 9. Have spent this last week thinking about what schemas may impact you or those around you? I know it's been on my mind lately after talking about this topic with all of you.

This week, we're going to introduce the other 9 schemas, and also dig a bit deeper into how they operate.

Missed last week's episode? Catch up here.

10. Entitlement/Grandiosity

The belief that you’re superior to others. Some may have an exaggerated focus on aspects that they believe display this superiority (e.g. being amongst the most wealthy or successful). I think, in present-day language, we might call them clout chasers; however, individuals with this schema are engaging in these behaviors to achieve power and control, and not primarily seeking approval or attention. Sometimes those with this schema may engage in excessive competitiveness, force their perspective on others, or attempt to control the behaviors of others to be more in line with their own desires without empathy or concern for the other person’s feelings. 

11. Insufficient Self-Control or Self-Discipline

This schema refers to the inability to tolerate any frustration in reaching your goals, as well as an inability to restrain the expression of your impulses or feelings. In its milder form, you may have an exaggerated emphasis on discomfort avoidance: avoiding pain, conflict, confrontation, responsibility, or overexertion at the expense of personal fulfillment, commitment, or integrity. When lack of self-control is extreme, criminal or addictive behavior may rule your life. If you struggle with this schema, remember that pain is a mandatory aspect of life, it’s impossible to have a healthy existence and avoid all discomfort.

12. Subjugation

This is the excessive surrendering of control to others because you feel coerced. This behavior is usually done to avoid things like conflict, anger, or abandonment. There are two major forms of subjugation. The subjugation of needs, which involves suppressing your desires, preferences, or decisions, and subjugation of emotions which involves the suppression of emotions, especially anger. People with this schema typically think that their experiences, opinions, feelings, and desires are invalid or not as important as those around them. Many times, subjugation can lead to...

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