How to Handle a No-Show

A loyal Modern Manners Guy reader emailed me recently about a client who pulled a no-show for a scheduled meeting.  My listener skipped dinner with her husband and stayed extra late at the office just to accommodate said client’s “busy schedule.” Yet when the big day came, the client bailed without a call, text, or email. Needless to say, my listener was extremely upset. Well, she used a more colorful word, but we'll go with upset here.

Call it an inability to commit or a lack of maturity, but when you tell someone you’re going to be somewhere, and then don’t show up, you stand to lose tons of respect. Period.  I understand that unexpected things happen, but there is no excuse (with all the technology avilable to us today) for not letting your colleague know that you need to reschedule — this goes for both personal and professional meetings.

If something important and unavoidable does come up, there is no excuse for not letting your colleagues know that you need to reschedule. 

I spoke about a similar issue in the article, What to Do if You’re Stood Up, where I gave 3 tips on how to handle being stood up. However, today, I’m going to discuss 3 tips on how you should react when the immature person who stood you up calls you back…hopefully to grovel:

Tip #1: Be Stern  

Some people assume that being mannerly means you have to keep your mouth shut and smile pretty at all times. Not true! Just because you don’t want to curse or throw things, does not mean you need to be walked all over. Being mannerly allows you to be witty, sharp, and make yourself understood using your brain, not your brawn.

Never be afraid to stand up for yourself and let the no-show know that your time is too valuable to waste.

So when the no-show calls you back with a lame excuse, don’t be afraid to tell them exactly what you're thinking. Just don’t lose your temper. Doing that weakens your argument. If it was a professional engagement,you could try something like “We made these plans 3 weeks ago and confirmed them the day before. I know you have a phone. I would have appreciated some form of contact to let me know you would not be arriving so that I could make alternative plans.”

Tip #2: Don’t Be Quick to Reschedule 

Time heals all wounds, right?  When the no-show calls you back to give an excuse about why they couldn't make it, they will most likely...

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