Minggu, 13 November 2016

Post-Election Social Media Etiquette

I’m not sure if anyone noticed, but the US just elected a new president. Eh, who am I kidding—of course we all know that! But not because we all voted, and followed the news until 3 AM but because our “Facebook friends” (a term I use loosely) spent the past few days telling us in detail their political views.  Let me point out, this goes for both parties, winners and losers. Each can be rather brutal towards the other online.

Facebook has become the breeding ground for some rather improper opinions about the election, with posts about outrage and frustration. As goes with normal Facebook rants, the election has divided Facebook “friends” all thanks to snarky posts.  So, before you try to come up with the wittiest way to stink your friends online, check out my three etiquette rules for social media after the election:

Tip #1: The 'I Told You So' Post

I simply can’t stand the 'I told you so' post. Not only for the obvious reasons (being juvenile and bratty) but because it’s everything a manners guru like myself points to when proving my favorite point: manners matter.  It didn’t take long for the 'I Told You So' posts to pile up on our Facebook walls. I mean, before even a quarter of the states were in, both sides were already posting with 'I Told You So,' and as it went on, one side delivered the message much more often. However, the ultimate influx of rude 'I Told You So' posts came right after the big announcement was dropped about our new president. It didn’t even take 10 seconds before the world was inundated with these posts. Let’s be honest, is that really the best way to get back at someone? In a world where we have such beautiful languages, why go with the cheesiest of cheesy quotes? I hate to break it to you, but an 'I Told You So' post is about as baseless as it gets.

Don’t get me wrong, I can see why an 'I Told You So' post would feel good. After all, I was once fourteen too and played video games. So when I would defeat my buddy in Nintendo, I enjoyed blasting them with, “I told you so!” Yet I was a child, and not the esteemed gentleman you see now, Mannerly Nation. Get where I’m going with this? So, in the world of being an adult and being a professional, why would you let your ego get the best of you by stooping to such a low level of using an “I Told You So Post” in politics? Politics is not like sports, where you can playfully trash talk a friend about your team being better, or troll on social media with clever memes. Politics is in many ways a religion, which people take very seriously and by saying “I Told You So” only makes your argument less credible. We know you won. We know you are happy, but with politics, the feelings don’t go away as easy. Why not rather simply post something with pride instead? How about an image of your candidate or a news link announcing the win? Add in your feelings of course, but just don’t go the immature route.

Tip #2: Poking Fun at Sorrow

Who doesn’t like an awkward photo of someone to put a situation in perspective? Take a bad photo of a group of people crying over a loss, add a never-as-funny-as-planned statement in bold font, then—WHAMO—you’re a comedian. It takes about ten seconds to create and only five seconds to reach every one of your Facebook friends.  Now, let me say, that I do believe that when it comes to politicians, you have a right to mock individuals who lust after power. Take Anthony Weiner for example. That’s open season and a given. Mock away!  However, when it comes to the presidential race, one thing I can’t stand is when Facebookers posting fun at other parties crying and grieving after a loss.  As well, if you’re trying to be “funny,” where’s the creativity in posting a photo of said group crying with the tagline, “ONLY LOSERS CRY”? That’s not funny, that’s ignorant. But let me guess, they deserved it, right? C’mon, people.


To prove my point, let’s think about what goes into posting an image or link mocking people’s sadness. First step is you have to deeply want to humiliate someone. The need to be mean has to be there. With step two, there’s the thought process of, “Not only do I want to (further) embarrass someone but I also want to share it with the world!” Next, you go online and you try to find the worst photo or video possible out of the tens of thousands out there.  “Hmm… this one is okay… but not enough tears. I need more tears!... Wait, here’s a great one -  it has a mother crying, while holding her children. Perfect!” Lastly, on top of everything else, you add a snarky comment before posting.  When you think of posts this, it’s a disgraceful snippet of what really goes into making sure you nailed your point when trying to mock someone’s sorrow. And of all the ways to drive home your victory, I feel this is the most disgusting of all. Stick to articles and photos of your team winning and not of others’ lives falling apart.

Tip #3: The Shouting Match

Next to hating the sorrow mocking posts, the single worst aspect of Facebook is when you get into or have to witness a shouting match. Be it between two people or one person picking fight with all of their friends, shouting matches after a political win is super obnoxious. Remember how I just said that politics is like a religion? Well, think about that when you see – or get trapped into – a shouting match on Facebook. Now, I understand people can get heated even after a win (kind of like I said in Tip #1 about driving the point home) and I also realize you want to wave your team flag with pride, but to what degree?  After all, there is a great difference between celebrating a big win with high fives and cheer, then there is celebrating your team pride by rioting in the streets, tipping cars over and breaking windows. The latter is the social media equivalent of a shouting match on Facebook. In both situations, you look foolish and it diminishes your win. I mean, you just won – isn’t that enough? Why make a scene? Why pour salt on the wound? Why not celebrate with class?

Why pour salt on the wound? Why not celebrate with class?

As I mentioned earlier, politics is like a religion; you base your beliefs and support around a group of people with similar values. With both politics and religion, you fight for what you believe in and stand your ground to show your force.  So, when you think of politics as a religion – and even a politician as an almost God-like figure (which is rather nuts, but it happens) – you can must realize that yelling at someone about politics is like telling them, “You’re wrong about every single thing you represent and believe in!”, over and over, louder and louder.  As well, when you engage in a shouting match you’re bound to lose sight of your real mission or message. It’s like any other shouting match; you get heated, get frustrated and then end up down a rabbit hole of nonsense. I kid you not, on my own feed I witnessed a stream of shouting that ended up with two people arguing over the number of security guards the other candidate had. Yup, apparently having five versus three security guards is something to aggressively argue. Folks, if you’re a friend or even a pretend friend at that (i.e., Facebook friend) don’t try to beat up your “buddies” while celebrating your win. Win with class, and don’t be a… well, you know, something that rhymes with class.

As always, if you have another manners question, I look forward to hearing from you at manners@quickanddirtytips.com. Follow me on Twitter @MannersQDT, and of course, check back next week for more Modern Manners Guy tips for a more polite life.

Do you have any recent graduates in your circle, or perhaps someone who is looking to start a new career, check out my new book, Reply All…And Other Ways to Tank Your Career for great tips and advice on job success. It's available now!

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