Minggu, 27 November 2016

How to Master the Etiquette of Winning

 

Celebrating VictoryFor the first time in 17 years, my favorite team, the Baltimore Orioles, clinched a division title. I’m not bragging, really!  But being a baseball fan in my town and calling yourself a “winner?" These things don't happen too often. The O’s locker room celebration consisted of players and staff spraying Champagne on each other, singing, dancing, and more importantly thanking the city for its support. I was most happy with that last part because it showed both class and appreciation.

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And that brings me to the sad part we often see when witnessing a victory celebration--the lack of proper etiquette. Whether or not you believe that dousing yourself in alcohol is the way to celebrate is not the issue. It’s your ability to be gracious as a winner, respectful, and appreciative of the others who helped make that happen that mean the most. So, before you allow your hand to be raised in victory, check out my top three quick and dirty tips for the etiquette of winning.

Tip #1: The Respect Factor

As many of you know, I spent more than eight wonderful years as a professional wrestler. I have to point this out because even though people think pro wrestling is a bunch of hooligans kicking the crap out of each other, it’s really just “soap-opera style” entertainment.  It’s not like cage fighting or boxing with actual violence. In fact, in wrestling a “victory” is a two-person action. I only won because someone was willing to allow me to (and vice-versa). It was decided way before I laced up my boots and squeezed myself into my skintight "pleather" pants. (Hey, I know I'm a respectable dad now; this was a long time ago.) After a win, I’d run around the ring, pointing to the crowd and waving my championship belt in the air. I was required to do that. But, in my mind, I was thinking about how it was the other guy in the fight who made it possible. With that, the first thing I would do after a match--win or lose --was thank my opponent for his time and spirit, and for allowing me to “shine” (a term we use for winning). You know, like a gentleman. PS - Sorry to shatter the myth, folks. But that's how professional wrestling works.

So, now we all know that professional wrestling is not a “real sport,” and the emotions of winning are just for show, but the respect factor was very authentic.  And that, my friends, is one of the most important characteristics a real competitor should posess. So when you win, it’s, of course. proper to celebrate – many times you can’t even control yourself because you’re so happy - but in the end, you can’t forget your opponent. Even if it’s a bitter rivalry, real competitors respect the process. When you win, the proper thing to do is to thank your opponent like a mature adult. “Wait, MMG, did you just say thank your… opponent?” Yup, I did. Opponents are not enemies – they’re competitors. You only get better by having quality opponents and that’s something that should be respected. Anything less shows a lack of class, and appreaciation for your field.


Tip #2: Stay Classy

For those of you who believe keeping your manners intact is not a priority when it comes to the big win, take a look at someone like boxing legend, Floyd Mayweather after a cheap win over  Victor Oritz (note - this video contains harsh language). This fight goes down as one of the cheapest wins in professional sports history because of some rather unsportsmanlike behavior displayed by Mr. Mayweather. Things got worse during his “victory speech,” when Mayweather cursed at broadcaster Larry Merchant, who questioned Mayweather's tactics. An exchange that once again allowed Mayweather to claim his other world title--The Rudest Professional Athlete Alive. His actions irk me to this day, on multiple levels. For starters, he’s an amazing boxer. But, time after time, he destroys our ability to celebrate his wins with his brash and immature behavior. Where’s the humbleness? Where’s the “thanks for the good fight?"

When I decided to write an episode about the etiquette of winning, I thought about people like Mayweather and their behavior. I would much rather cheer for someone who lost but shows class with defeat than someone who wins without it. Interestingly enough, I came across this quote that sums up the proper way to embrace victory (by Paul Bryant): “Show class, have pride, and display character. If you do, winning takes care of itself.” Winning is one thing but taking the time to remember how you got there is another. People will forget about your win if your ego over shadows the work.

Tip #3: Winning Isn’t Forever

Like most things, victory celebrations don't last forever. You can be king/queen of the world one day and, the next day, the game starts all over again. Another person is working his or her way up to you, or to your spot.  Whether in sports, business, or even life, there will always people on the heels of every winner, just waiting to step in. I don’t mean to rain on your parade, but it’s the truth. Revel in your win, celebrate, see your name in lights…but it’s improper and irrational to think staying at the top can last forever. The beautiful thing about competition is that everyone has a chance to take home the grand prize. Money, looks, and prestige simply don't matter in the long run; what matters is how you play the game.

The reason why I want to stress this point last is because it highlights the importance of following Tips #1 and #2. You have to approach competition properly in order to solidify yourself as a winner. No one will want to celebrate with you if you don’t appreciate the journey. And no one will respect you if you can’t win with grace. This perspective allows you to also respect those in your field more and embrace what it means to have a successful, true victory--not just a fleeting "win."

As always, if you have another manners question, I look forward to hearing from you at manners@quickanddirtytips.com. Follow me on Twitter @MannersQDT, and, of course, check back next week for more Modern Manners Guy tips for a more polite life.

Do you have any recent graduates in your circle, or perhaps someone who is looking to start a new career, check out my new book, Reply All…And Other Ways to Tank Your Career for great tips and advice on job success. It's available now!

Victory image courtesy of Shutterstock



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