Another Halloween in the books and another round of emails from Mannerly Nation about things they witnessed during the spookiest day of the year. Turns out that for some of my readers, Halloween wasn’t filled to the brim with treats, but rather overflowing with rude tricks that left them trying to forget Halloween 2016 altogether.
Now, I don’t want to ruin the punchline for you on these stories, but from the professional to the romantic, Halloween 2016 surely had some improper surprises. So, before you start planning for next year’s Halloween, let’s look some readers’ emails to laugh and learn together as a team, with these three stories that will make you cringe:
NOTE: As always your emails are personal and private. These stories are from people who asked to have their stories shared. With that I always protect your/their privacy, and have changed their names and location.
#1: The Halloween Breakup
In my tenure as Modern Manners Guy, I’ve covered all kinds of break up stories that became worthy of The Unmannerly Hall of Fame. For example, we have The Holiday Breakup, where rude daters handed their partner walking papers on the night of a major holiday or right before. As well, in an article called How Not to Break Up With Someone, I outlined basic do’s and don’ts on how to deliver heartbreaking news to your soon-to-be ex with grace and kindness in mind. Well, apparently some people out there need a refresher course because they missed out on the finer details of how to properly end a relationship. For example, Sherri from New Orleans emailed me about how her now ex decided a friend’s Halloween party was the best time to drop the news that he was having an affair with an old college flame. Nice, right? Well, it gets worse. I know what you’re thinking: “How can being dumped at a party get worse?” Well, hang onto your witch’s hat here folks because not only did Sherri get dumped on a holiday (improper timing), at a party (improper setting) but the most embarrassing part was she came dressed as “The World’s Greatest Couple.” Yeesh!
Folks, bottom line, if you’re going to dump someone, don’t do it at a party! Sure, there are many high school and college kids in Mannerly Nation that tend to end relationships faster before a couple’s photo is done loading into SnapChat, but being in a mature relationship means timing is key. How bad could a relationship be that while at a party you are forced to end things? Come on people, just wait. It’s that easy. Don’t pick the party as the time or place (no less) to deliver a blow to the gut that will leave your partner kneeling over in pain. Now, after two months of working on a costume that resembled a puffy cloud, with the words, “Love is in the air with this perfect couple,” sewn (yes, each letter) that they could both fit in. Their costume was now ruined. As planned they would stand in the “cloud” at the same time and “float” (walk) around the party together showing off their love … until Daniel broke up with her, about 25 minutes into the party and left her hanging there by herself. She would have taken it off but only had a tank top and yoga pants on. So, she spent the remainder of the night walking around couple less, in her “perfect couples” costume. Hearing, “Hey Sherri, where’s your boyfriend?” about 100 times throughout the night didn’t help either. Crappy timing, Daniel … crappy timing.
Tip #2: The Office Costume
Whenever I think of embarrassing corporate situations, I always think of the hit show, “The Office,” which was the single greatest display of unmannerly office culture. In fact, I think the show is so great, that every college kid should watch it before the graduate to understand what should NOT be done in the real world. Case in point: during the Halloween episodes which had improper (and hilarious) costumes, I was so disturbed that I vowed never to wear a costume to work, unless it was for a set Halloween party. With that, I never go “creative” but rather stick to the basics if and when I do dress up, so they don’t offend anyone. However, along with the fear of wearing even a “slightly” inappropriate costume, my biggest worry is always having to hold a meeting, or even worse, get reprimanded, while dressed as a Ghostbuster. Turns out, a similar uneasy feeling happened with Harry at his office. Low and behold, the one stinkin’ day he dresses up as a T Rex, he ends up getting fired.
So here was Harry, a 34-year-old guy, wearing a brown and green TRex outfit, face paint and claws, no crying his eyes out in his boss’ office. Rightfully so too. I mean, being cut loose stinks! I’ve been let go and when you get that call it will crush you. However, here was Harry, dressed as a “frickin’ dinosaur” (as he said) packing up his cube, in front of his (now ex) coworkers. Let me point out, that it wasn’t his costume that got him fired—it was just bad timing. His boss had planned to drop the ax that day not knowing Harry would be all dolled up for Halloween. This tip has two helpful points I’d like to address. For all the bosses out there DO NOT pick a holiday to fire someone. Thanksgiving, Halloween, or Earth Day … just don’t do it. Unless it’s something that deems an “on the spot” firing, there is nothing that can’t wait until tomorrow (like in Tip #1). And for the employees, it’s always proper to show your enthusiasm, but don’t go overboard when you know you have to actually work that same day. The last thing you want is to have to yell on a call with a client or give a presentation, while dressed like an Avenger.
Tip #3: The Lazy Trick or Treater
I’m not sure at what age you’re considered “too old” for trick or treating. Maybe eighth grade or ninth? Regardless, I will say that a good sign to identify as being too old to trick or treat is when you don’t even bother to dress up. For example, the other night when I took my kids trick or treating, I saw a group of maybe 13 or 14-year-olds walking around, wearing a baseball cap and saying they were dressed as a “fan.” They didn’t even have a jersey on! Just the stinkin’ hat. They had no intention of getting dressed, they just wanted some free candy. I can imagine the conversation that took place about a half hour prior.
Dude #1: “Hey, dude I’m bored.”
Dude #2: “Yeah me too. Want to go get some free candy?”
Dude #1: “Yeah … But we don’t have a costume.”
Dude #2: “Eh, screw it. Just wear an Oriole’s hat.”
Kudos to Dude #2 for the ingenious idea. Whether or not this was what really went down (although I’ll bet it was a close version), it’s improper to throw in the towel for the costume just so you can reap the benefits of the candy or to attend a party. This is when I believe you’re being a lazy trick or treater.
When it comes to Halloween either go big … or stay home.
The part that made things worse was that you can’t really deny kids candy for their lack of a proper costume. They bring a bag, you fill it. It’s hard—and a waste of time—to debate them. However, one parent at a house I saw them entering even said, “You’re not even dressed up!” But they didn’t care. They continued to go from house to house filling their mouths with Hershey bars. Folks, when it comes to Halloween either go big … or stay home.
As always, if you have another manners question, I look forward to hearing from you at manners@quickanddirtytips.com. Follow me on Twitter @MannersQDT, and of course, check back next week for more Modern Manners Guy tips for a more polite life.
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