A few episodes ago, I talked about the cultural sensation of “love languages” and why people are so drawn to them. Here's the truth about love languages: science doesn't support the idea that tailoring your affections to your partner's preferences will meaningfully impact your relationship. After sharing this research on TikTok and in the podcast, I received a lot of questions about whether there is a better theory out there.
Here’s the thing about love: it's notoriously difficult to research and explore effectively. As the famous song says, “what is love?”, and researchers ask the same thing, too. It's hard to explain to someone else the feelings you have when you love someone.
People experience love differently. The physical, emotional, and cognitive sensations associated with love may differ as people get older, or as their relationship progresses. There are also many cultural expectations on the role of and importance of love in relationships that affect our experience. So, to effectively measure love, our tools would need to account for and accommodate a variety of vastly different experiences—which is not easily conducive to effective research.
The Triangular Theory of Love
With that being said, there are a few theories that identify the different ways in which we experience love. In 1986, Dr. Sternberg developed the Triangular Theory of Love to do just that. He proposed that there are three components to love: intimacy, passion, and commitment.
Intimacy refers to feeling close and connected with our romantic partner. It is typically identified by feelings of wanting your partner to feel good and do good. You hold your partner in high regard and value who they are as a person. You feel like you can count on your partner and they can count on you. You have common goals and have a sense of understanding one another.
Passion refers to a...
Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar