Today's episode begins in a classroom. I was taking a course on interpersonal communication and well-being, in which we discussed how communication in our relationships has measurable and substantial impacts on our health. That's not limited to our relationship's health! It also means physiological and mental health as well.
We were looking at a body of research that explored how expressing affection in our relationships has statistically significant impacts on each of these areas of health. Study after study after study has consistently—and impressively—found support for how even minor affectionate exchanges can have actual, measurable impacts on our physical and relational health.
In some cases, the results are so incredible it almost defies reality! To me, it seemed almost too good to be true. How is it, as one study showed, that writing a brief letter to a loved one can reduce your cholesterol?
The more I looked into the topic, the more frustrated I became. How is it that this simple interpersonal behavior can have such consistent, significant impacts on our bodies? And what does that mean for our relationships?
How do we express affection?
First, let's step back a bit, and define what "expressing affection" actually means. There are three primary categories for how people express affection that researchers have identified:
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Verbally: These are the ways in which we directly express to our partner how much we love, care, and appreciate them. Verbal affection can be expressed face-to-face, over the phone, or through written means such as through text, email, or a letter.
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Non-verbally: These are gestures or touches that are meant to express those same sentiments of love and care toward our partner. For example, these behaviors include hugs, holding hands, or smiling.
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Indirect Tasks: These are overt methods for expressing love, care, and appreciation for our partner, such as through cooking, or spending time together.
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