How to Build a Secret Circle of Mentors

Hold onto your hat for the big reveal—I dig mentors. Who'd have thought?

Depending on the goals you’ve set, your mentor may educate, inform, inspire, or offer you feedback. There are no limits on what that relationship might bring your way. But for many, the idea of finding a mentor and maintaining that relationship can feel heavy, overwhelming, or intimidating.

And I get it. It’s a big ask of someone you admire and respect. And as the mentee, you may feel pressured to make the most of every minute spent together.

But here’s the thing—“mentor” is a verb as well as a noun. It’s entirely possible for someone to mentor you without being a “capital M” Mentor.

“Mentor” is a verb as well as a noun. It’s entirely possible for someone to mentor you without being a “capital M” Mentor.

And while I don’t hold myself up as the epitome of success, I have achieved a lot as I’ve defined it for myself. And as I reflect on levers I’ve pulled and buttons I’ve pushed in getting here, I realize I’ve built a secret circle of mentors that has supported me along the way. Some have known they’ve been mentoring me, and others haven’t. Others, I don’t even know personally—they’ve mentored me from afar. In some way, they’ve provided support in a form that has served me in growing and achieving.

If you’re not feeling up to the task of asking someone to be a mentor, then let’s talk about the different types of secret mentors you might pull into your own circle of support.

Here’s what my circle has looked like.

Find direction with a compass-holder

A compass-holder is the person who inspires you, offers a sense of direction.

When you set down a path—any path—it’s super helpful to look toward someone a few steps ahead of you. You don’t have to follow every step they’ve taken, but you have the luxury of seeing how their steps have played out. In some cases, you may study what they did and attempt to replicate it. In others, you may choose to go left where they went right.

This person can be either someone you know or a total stranger.

This person can be either someone you know or a total stranger. Author and personal branding expert Dorie Clark was one of my secret mentors when I was just getting started. It wasn’t just what she had achieved, but it was the scrappiness and hustle she demonstrated that really spoke to me.

I listened to her stories, read her books, and played with her tools. And much of what she had to share really pushed me down my own path.

So yes, when I recently had the...

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