While it has probably felt like your financial challenges and frustrations are about money, money is rarely the real issue. Instead, the problem is your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about money. The common thread running through them all requires you to look inside yourself to understand them, so you can identify the inner conflicts that are causing the outer frustrations. For many, this may feel like you’re taking a giant leap into the unknown, because it’s the opposite of how you’ve been trained to think. Normally, we’re told that if you fix your finances and create wealth for yourself, then everything will work out fine.
As a certified financial planner (CFP®) who has worked in the money business for over twenty-five years, I saw how traditional money management solutions work for some but not for everyone. During my career I’ve witnessed countless people, myself included, struggle with the emotional aspects of money far more than the financial part. My suspicion is that many people know it has something to do with their past, and yet, without a guide or process to go through, it is just too intimidating to dive into. Then there’s the fact that, for many of us, we’ve got a ton of pain wrapped up in our money stories, which means we’d prefer to never have to revisit it.
For many of us, we’ve got a ton of pain wrapped up in our money stories, which means we’d prefer to never have to revisit it.
Unfortunately, avoiding pain is often the exact challenge that prevents us from improving our lives. And, if you’re like me and my clients, we were experts at avoiding unwelcome feelings that the past could bring about, especially regarding money. We’d rather have stood on our heads, chanted a gazillion mantras, and run a marathon than explore what was happening under the surface.
Yet living without uncovering the story beneath it all causes us to live with a lot more fear than when we understand and release it. The more fear we have, the more likely we are to live in one of two ways with money: either apprehensively or aggressively. When we’re apprehensive about it, money remains elusive and hard to come by, and when we’re aggressively pursuing it, even though we may earn a lot of money, that pursuit can be riddled with problems. In either case, our fears cause us to play life in such a way that prevents us from losing rather than truly thriving. This is why you can have all the money in the world and still be operating from a lack-oriented mindset.
Perhaps you’ve asked yourself the following questions and at the same time were afraid of their answers:
- “What’s wrong with me that I can’t make my money work?”
- “Why does it always...
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