How to Get Your Way in a Negotiation

You have the world’s best proposal. But the people you’re giving it to won’t accept its brilliance. You know there has to be something you can say to someone to get your deal through the door. Genius alone won’t cut it. You need to make your sale a win for everyone.

Know Who the Real Decision-Maker Is

Of course by everyone, I mean everyone in charge of accepting your proposal. Your first step should be to find the real decision-maker in the room. But looks can be deceiving, and so can behavior. The person who speaks eighty percent of the time might only hold twenty percent of the power. Pitching to them might send you down a wormhole, never to emerge. The decision-maker might also get annoyed by you ignoring them. BOOM! Deal dead! That’s why it’s crucial to find the real decision-maker as soon as you can.

Say you own an interstellar junkyard in a galaxy far, far away. You want to sell spare spaceship parts to the Rebel Alliance. You sit down for a holographic meeting with some loud-mouth, scruffy-looking guy and a woman with two buns in her hair who calls herself a princess. You aren’t sure at first who the decision-maker is.

So you decide to ask a few rapport-building questions that might give you some clue. You start with: “So, how long have you two been with the Alliance?”

Scruff boy immediately jumps in: “I only started fighting for the rebels a few weeks ago. I’m a rogue pilot and thought I could make more money with the Alliance than the Empire.”

In a more collected tone, the princess says: “I’ve been committed to leading the rebel forces my entire life. I’ve risked everything I have for over twenty years to make sure the Alliance runs smoothly and carries out my orders. Plus, I’m royalty and have total authority over the sourcing for spare spaceship parts.”

Clearly, the decision-maker is the princess. Start your pitch with questions that might yield clues to the real decision maker. Once you know who wears the pantsuit in the relationship, you can adapt your pitch to them.

Make the Decision-Maker Win Personally

Most decision-makers speak for a group. And the best, most mature ones put the needs of the group above their own. (Wow, I said that with a straight face. There really aren’t such people. Those people are either torn to shreds by the psychopathic ladder-climbers, or they abandon their morals to become psychopathic ladder-climbers themselves.) 

But even those pure souls like a deal that helps them personally, too. If you know what the decision-maker wants for themselves, in addition to what helps their team, you can craft an offer they can’t possibly refuse.

The princess is waiting for you to begin. You start by asking, “We want this deal to be a win for everyone. How can we make it a big win for you, in your own life, as well?”

The princess replies: “I have a care package I want to send home, and no way to deliver it. It’s nothing special. Just a few recipes, some holiday photos, a bottle of Alderaan Ruge Liqueur, and the plans to defeat a moon-sized planet-destroying weapon.”

“Well, then. Why don’t we add that care package to the first delivery of spare parts?”

Every hope or pain the decision-maker mentions is a chance for your plan to make their life better. Listen to what the decision-maker has to say and tweak your plan accordingly.

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Find Any Absent Decision-Makers and Get Them Involved

Even important decision-makers don’t always have full authority to green-light your proposal. There may be shadowy figures wearing robes and hoods that shadow their faces, waiting secretly to advise your counter-party. These other decision-makers may not be in the room, but you still need to make your plan work for them, too.

You can ask more questions to find out how to get an absent decision-maker’s approval. While the princess is clearly a decision-maker, you want to check for absentees. You say: “Before we go ahead with our plan — does anyone else need to approve it? Like the Senate?”

Even hidden in the shadows, a decision maker is a decision maker.

“We’re the Rebel Alliance. We don’t need the Imperial Senate’s approval to order parts.”

“No senior officer signatures required? Forgive me, but I’m unfamiliar with the rebel chain of command.”

“It’s not a problem at all. Now that you mention it, though, I need to get the chief financial officer’s approval. Rebellions are built on expense reports, you know.”

Now you know that you need to account for the CFO, as well. (Get it? “Account for” the CFO? Sometimes I’m so funny I crack myself up.)

Make Absent Decision-Makers Win Personally Too

Even if they’re hidden in the shadows, a decision-maker is a decision-maker. They’re a gatekeeper to your plans. If you can’t get to them directly, take an attitude of helping the person who is in the room address the agendas of the hidden power players.

When the princess tells you your pitch needs to please the CFO of the Rebel Alliance, your natural response should be “Excellent! What are the CFO’s concerns? We want to make sure this works for everyone.”

“The CFO is mostly concerned with keeping us in the black each quarter. But this proposal raises some questions.”

“Of course. How about we phase the deliveries over several quarters, to spread out the hit to the Rebel Alliance’s income statement?”

“That’s perfect!” the princess says. “I’m sure the CFO will be ecstatic!” 

The final proposal is to deliver the spare parts over several quarters, and zip that care package off to Alderaan for the Princess. Both the CFO and the Princess sign off immediately, and this everyday, routine parts sale just helped you hit your sales quota. Funny… now that you’re coming up on Alderaan, you don’t remember it having a moon that looked like that…

To get your way in a negotiation, think about how you can make your idea appeal to the other side. Identify key decision-makers, both in the room and out of it. Find out their concerns, and build those into a plan that works for everyone. You’ll be in charge the whole time, but it’ll feel like a win-win. And that’s because, if you do this right, it’ll actually be one.

This is Stever Robbins. Follow GetItDoneGuy on Twitter and Facebook. I run programs to help people have Extraordinary Lives and extraordinary careers. If you want to know more, visit SteverRobbins.com.

Work Less, Do More, and have a Great Life!