We have many roles in life: child, brother, sister, parent, businessperson, citizen, shmoopie, and fryolator king at Fry-and-Buy Deep Fried Alligator Parts Franchise #317. Each role requires us to act differently. But our roles can blend if we’re not careful. That causes trouble when their behavior clashes. When we approach shmoopie with the same gusto that we use to wrestle an alligator into the Fry-and-Buy fyrolator, it can completely ruin a romantic, candle-lit dinner. To keep our lives running smoothly, we need to keep clashing roles separate. And we can do that by setting up the environment so we automatically assume the role we need, when we need it.
Grandma Cuddles, founder of the infamous Grandma Cuddles Child Care and Metalworking chain, has to juggle way more roles than her folksy exterior would suggest. At any moment she might play the part of professional babysitter, astute business owner, trainee for ultramarathons, or actual grandmother to her family. (Of course, there’s no evidence that any of her relatives have survived as long as she has, but I’m sure that’s just coincidence.)
Grandma Cuddles finds it can be tricky to switch between entrepreneur, babysitter, extreme athlete, and mom. But context clues can help! Clues like clothes, locations, and devices can be the signals she uses to choose her role.
Use Clothes for Context
By instinct, humans judge books by their covers and people by their clothes. We look at others and decide who they are. Pink mohawk and leather tutu? It makes one impression. But the same person wearing a three piece suit and patent leather shoes makes a different impression. Of course, you can’t see their underwear, but that’s the point. How they dress affects how we react to them, and likewise, how we dress affects how we feel about ourselves! We can use this to our advantage, and change our clothes to “get in character” for different roles.
One actor might play several parts in the same play, which could get confusing. But all they have to do is swap one little piece of clothing — like a hat — and POOF! You know they’re a different character. Of course, there’s more to it then that. A good actor also changes their behavior, and that’s what really make the difference. And the hat can tell them when to make that behavior change, in a way that taps into their social instincts.
Grandma Cuddles puts this to work immediately. At the daycare center, she’ll wear a cheery pants suit when she’s in her role as salesperson. She’ll wear a fun warden’s costume when she’s overseeing the good behavior of her little tykes. And when she’s making cookies with her actual grandchildren (or the ones she tells us are hers, even though they seem to be different every time she comes over), she’ll wear a flower-print dress and apron. They remind her of her idyllic past, listening happily to her handlers read her favorite bedtime stories like Hansel and Gretel. The clothes she’s wearing put Grandma in the right frame to be savvy salesperson, devoted disciplinarian, or the perfect image of a loving granny.
You can use outfits, or even just parts of outfits. You’ve heard people say, “when I put on my thinking hat”? Well, how about a hat that literally is your thinking hat? Put it on whenever you are going into a period of deep, uninterrupted reflection. Be strict about putting it on and taking it off and the results may surprise you. I put on my thinking cap and it quietly said, “Hufflepuff!”
Use Locations for Context
Our brains are also built to use location to signal context. The Cuddles Daycare Center has traditionally been a large room, with unstructured activities everywhere! But in an effort to corral her rowdy charges, Grandma has divided the room into separate areas. Each area is for one and only one thing. There’s Nap Nook, where the kiddies nap. Play Palace with toys and fun all day long. Productivity Place is where the tots learn to be productive members of society. And of course, Discipline Junction, room 101. The rooms are marked out by bright paint on the floor and adorable pretend barbed wire strung between them. She took her inspiration from the Stanford Prison Experiment. “To get the children accustomed to life’s adversity and help them set good boundaries,” says Cuddles. Once the rooms are all set up, Grandma automatically takes on her role effortlessly as she steps into each area. She’s sleepy bedtime story Granny, playful fun Granny, taskmaster and project manager Granny, and of course, Loving But Stern Guidance Granny. The location brings on the role.
Beware the Smartphone
Devices provide context too. Back in ancient Greece, phones were literally wired to the wall. When you weren’t near a phone, you weren’t thinking about talking to anybody except the people you were with. You were present. I know that anyone under 40 doesn’t really understand what this means, but imagine hanging out with a friend who is actually paying attention to you, and not you, Youtube, Facebook, and … no? Can’t imagine it? Take my word for it: it’s actually better than multitasking.
Smartphones destroy our location context, since we have them with us at all times. But they even destroy our mental context, since the device looks and acts the same no matter what we’re using it for. It makes no distinction between work and personal.
Rebuild that separation by using different devices for work and play. Make the devices as different as possible so your brain really switches modes. If you have an iPhone and an iPad, use the iPhone just for work, and your iPad just for play. Don’t play games on your phone, and don’t open spreadsheets on the iPad. My friend Shanti has two different phones, a flip phone for work and a Wifi-only smartphone for social media.
Sort Out Your Own Roles
Take a moment and jot down all the major roles you have in your life. You probably have work-related roles like graphic manager and project designer. (Hmm…) You have home-related roles, head of household, organizer of board games parties. You may have a romantic you who comes out when you’re with shmoopie, and another role for family, like brother, sister, aunt, uncle, son, daughter, or invisible, inaudible person who’s silently packing to move to another continent.
For each role, ask yourself how you can create a contextual marker for yourself, either clothes or location. Then spend a few minutes imagining how you’ll behave in that role, in that location or attire or with that device.
Now start dressing, moving, and choosing locations and devices according to those markers. You’ll find yourself able to keep work behaviors at work, and home behaviors at home. It’s something that used to happen unconsciously, but with the merging of our work and home lives, doing some explicit sorting can help your brain out. It worked so well for Grandma Cuddles that Teacher Cuddles is taking the kids to tour the Fry-and-Buy Deep Fried Alligator Parts franchise. She plans to report back to Business Development Cuddles once they return from the tour. Because not only would it teach the kiddies a lot to run their own cute little franchise, it could be very profitable for Cuddles Incorporated.
This is Stever Robbins. Follow GetItDoneGuy on Twitter and Facebook. I run programs to help people have Extraordinary Lives and extraordinary careers. If you want to know more, visit http://ift.tt/1l2uWN6 .
Work Less, Do More, and have a Great Life!
Image courtesy of Shutterstock.
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