Early May is the time when most high school seniors have finally made their decision as to which college they will attend in the fall. Emotions run high with excitement, anxiety, elation, worry, and everything in between once that tuition deposit has been made.
On the other hand, there are plenty of students who have not made their selection yet, and that’s not because they can’t choose between one college or another; it’s because they’ve decided they aren’t going to attend a college or university at all.
If you’ve dreamt that college would be part of your child’s future from that very first moment you held him/her in your arms as a newborn, you might be filled with another set of emotions: confusion, uncertainty, concern, and maybe even a tad bit of disappointment.
Mighty Mommy can relate because one of her kids decided to take another path other than college and you know what? It turned out to be a great decision. If your child decides not to be college bound, don’t fret—here are 6 ways to focus on a bright future.
#1. Don’t Pressure
Even if you feel certain that college is the best path for your teen, forcing them into something will only set them up for failure and frustration.
For students who are trying to figure things out, you might consider a gap year. A Gap Year is a break from formal education—typically taken after high school or before starting graduate school - which the student uses to travel or work. This period of time can be extremely valuable in helping your child get focused and figure out what his/her next step is.
According to ThinkProgress, “The high cost of college and other factors are causing American students to drop out before receiving their degree at higher rates than in other developed countries, according to a new study from Harvard University. Only 56 percent of the students who enter America’s colleges and universities graduate within six years, while only 29 percent of students who enter two-year programs complete their degrees within three years, the study found.”
So no matter how difficult it is hearing that college is not the plan (at least not yet), don’t lay unnecessary pressure on your teen. Give your kid a chance to figure things out on his own.
#2. Explore Their Interests
Many times, as in the case of my son, teenagers don’t have any idea why they want to attend college. He didn’t gravitate to studying like my other kids did and quite frankly didn’t take school seriously. I wasn’t really surprised to learn that he didn’t want to go to college, but I also wasn’t sure how to help him figure out what he was passionate about so he could build a career for his future. A guidance counselor from our high school suggested that my son do a career search to start exploring different possibilities. This on-line tool called Major and Career Search allows a student to imagine himself in different roles by exploring various careers and interests. You can find information on more than 300 careers here, which range from air traffic controller to wildlife technician. My son realized he had two big interests—working outdoors as well as a passion for cooking. He knew he was not cut out for the corporate world working in a business office. Taking chunks of quality time to explore what he liked and disliked help put him on the right career path.
#3. Encourage Community Involvement
Successful people know and care about what's going on in their community and around the world. I’ve always been a firm believer in giving back or helping to support one or two causes throughout the year in addition to my busy role as a full-time working mom of 8 kids. Not only do I enjoy volunteer work, but my kids have grown up watching me involved in various aspects of the community including their schools and our church. A young teen who is not ready for college can stay grounded to his/her community which in turn promotes personal growth. Organizations such as 4-H, The Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts of America, and Kiwanis Key Club always encourage their members to volunteer in the community. Many of them will also help foster beneficial, ethical values that can remain with your child for life. For parents who do not have the time available to help their kids to the fullest, these organizations are a blessing.
Check out www.idealist.org for specific opportunities for teenagers in your area. See Also: 5 Fun Ways to Encourage Kids to Volunteer
#4. Keep Them Reading
Reading is the gateway to learning new things, thinking differently, experiencing new adventures, and for just pure entertainment. For kids who aren’t interested in heading to college, reading probably is not one of their favorite pastimes, but it can be more important to keep those pages turning now than ever. In addition, reading can also keep your brain sharp.
In Smithsonian's Being a Lifelong Bookworm May Keep You Sharp in Old Age, the authors write, “The findings, published online today in Neurology, suggest that reading books, writing and engaging in other similar brain-stimulating activities slows down cognitive decline in old age, independent of common age-related neurodegenerative diseases.”
For a teen who is now no longer a student, reading can definitely fall by the wayside. Encourage your non-college student to stay sharp and informed by reading as often as possible. I subscribed my son to some culinary and landscape magazines, which he still receives 4 years later. For an interesting assortment of good reads, check out the list,Ten Books That Will Change Your Life, on lifehack.org.
#5. Discover Alternatives
Instead of trying to convince your teen to attend college, talk about alternatives to college. Encourage your child to visit a career center or their guidance counselor to learn about their options, and help your teen gain an understanding of what types of opportunities are available.
Instead of trying to convince your teen to attend college, talk about alternatives to college.
Some of these options are:
Community college: Community colleges are a great option for teens who might need more time to mature, who are afraid to leave home, or who do not have the resources to pay for an expensive university.
Trade or other specialty school: Some teens choose not to go to college because what they want to do needs a different type of education. For example, if your teen wants to be a mechanic or a chef, there are wonderful vocational schools and programs to support their interest.
Internship: While most internships are unpaid, they provide an excellent way to explore career options, make contacts, and develop relationships with mentors. In a year’s time, your teen could possibly participate in two or three internships, helping them to define their true career goals.
Online Universities: One way to keep your child connected to a college studying experience is for him to enroll in an on-line class. These are becoming increasingly popular throughout the country and are a great option for a student who might want to get his feet wet with a college curriculum without enrolling in a particular college or university.
Military service: Some teens may want to explore military service as an option.
#6. Establish Boundaries for Living At Home
If your teen doesn’t want to attend college, but does want to continue living at home, you must talk about your expectations and take steps to help them become self-sufficient.
In My Kid Doesn’t Want to Go to College, New Jersey-based psychotherapist Tom Kerstig says parents need to set firm boundaries: “If a child wants to stay home and not go to school, Kerstig says, it’s time to set some ground rules. Will the child pay rent if he’s working but not in school? Does he need to have some kind of job? How much hanging out in front of the TV is acceptable? Whatever the arrangement you make, if you don’t communicate your expectations and then follow up with consequences, you might end up with a 25-year-old still living at home, going nowhere.”
“Parents are going to have to step up to the plate and get a little firmer with kids,” he says. “As a parent you can’t keep bailing your kid out and enabling them to do what they’re doing.”
This is exactly what we did with our son. We told him how much we loved him and that we were willing to embrace his decision with a positive outlook, but he had to work and begin exploring career options and personal interests that would help lay a solid foundation for his future. Four years later, he’s working in the culinary field and is learning from professionals with on-the-job training, which because he is a tactile learner has benefited him immensely.
How have you helped your child who has chosen not to attend college? Please share your thoughts in the comments section at http://ift.tt/1zMEe2L, post your ideas on the Mighty Mommy Facebook page. or email me at mommy@quickanddirtytips.com. Visit my family-friendly boards at http://ift.tt/1wyJKr5.
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