Destiny’s Child told us what it’s like to be a survivor. Taylor Swift knows how to shake it off. And Elton John is still standing. What’s the common thread? A little thing glinting in the eye of the tiger called resilience.
Resilience is the ability to adapt and bounce back after experiencing stress and adversity, like bamboo canes that bend in the wind but don’t break. Think of a small, mom-and-pop bookstore that's close to bankruptcy because Amazon has become such a giant competitor. The owners might show resilience by shifting their marketing strategy and finding a way to build a loyal following. Or think of a child falling off her bicycle and scraping her knee. She might show resilience by getting back on that bike the next day and practicing again.
Resilient people are able to learn, change, and move forward, ultimately growing and thriving even when they run into obstacles.
Both the bookstore owners and the child were resilient because they were able to learn, change, and move forward, ultimately growing and thriving even when they ran into obstacles. Notice that resilience didn’t just befall them—no fairy godmother came to rescue them. Instead, their resilience came from within.
Is resilience always possible?
That's not to say resilience is all up to you. You may be dealing with many obstacles that are out of your control, so no matter how much grit and motivation you have inside, you're still held back. This is why critics of the resilience concept are worried. By advocating resilience, are we implying that all setbacks are the individual person’s fault and everyone should be left to fend for themselves?
In reality, many people carry the weight of systemic barriers, like racism, sexism, economic inequality, or other injustices, and individual resilience is not the answer to these problems.
Many people carry the weight of systemic barriers, like racism, sexism, economic inequality, or other injustices, and individual resilience is not the answer to these problems.
At the same time, we don’t need to throw the resilience baby out with the bathwater. While we fight for equity and justice, we can also cultivate our own resilience, which isn’t an empty idea. We can learn to be resilient by responding to adversity in psychologically healthy ways. In other words, when life gives us lemons, we can still practice making lemonade!
And “practice” is the key word here. Resilience is a skill, not a you-have-it-or-you-don’t trait. This is good news because it means you can have some control over how...
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