If the teen in your life is giving you angst, don't fret. These four practical tips can help you redirect your teen's negative ways.
Set firm boundaries and impose consequences
Most kids have one thing in common, they crave structure and routines, and that includes teens! When kids are younger, if they know what to expect throughout the day, they're better able to cope with rules because they know what's expected of them. If you're dealing with a disrespectful teen or one who feels it's OK to break the rules, it's time to reestablish firm boundaries.
Include your teenager in the setting of your boundaries. Making him a part of the conversation will help him understand why you've set your boundaries so he has a clear path to follow. For example, respect is something I hold in high regard in our family. It's essential that my kids don't mock, roll their eyes, belittle, or use backtalk when I'm communicating with them. Likewise, they know they can expect the same from me in return. If my son does get flippant when I'm explaining why he can't borrow my car for a weekend ski trip with his friends, he's testing the boundaries we've agreed on. And that means there'll be consequences for him.
There's no point in having a boundary without a consequence. QDT's former Savvy Psychologist, Dr. Ellen Hendriksen, shared three helpful tips for imposing practical consequences:
- Choose a consequence that motivates him. If hanging out with his friends after practice is something he enjoys, losing this privilege for a week would be more upsetting than taking his cell phone away.
- Add an incentive for adhering to the rule. Put a carrot on the end of your behavior stick! If your teen knows that positive actions on his part may yield a reward, he'll have more reason to stay on task. Dr. Hendriksen recommends including your teen in the conversation so he can tell you what incentives would be meaningful to him.
- Write it all down! Write your...
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