Today’s article is a holiday gift to myself and to everyone out there who does sales by email. For me, it’s a rant. If you’re an email sales person, then it will be painful for you, though ultimately useful. And if you’re not, you’ll find this amusing—the same way that it was amusing to watch teenagers get torn to bits in EVIL DEAD.
Incoming sales emails! I just love incoming sales emails! Last night, I wasted a full hour going through my Get-it-Done Guy inbox and my personal web site inbox reading offer after offer after offer for SEO services, for helpful content I can redistribute to my audience, for requests for free content someone else can sell to their customers, and for custom content writing services. If you or someone you love sends out this kind of email, put on your flame retardant jacket, sit down in a comfortable chair where you aren’t operating heavy machinery, and make sure your therapist is available for when you’re done listening to this episode, because it’s gonna hurt. And do definitely keep listening. I wasted my evening going through your email to no benefit of my own, now you get to spend quality time listening to my thoughts in return. If you really listen, you’ll actually benefit. Here are the mistakes you’re making, and how to fix them.
So tighten your seat belts and Flame. Friggin. On.
Mistake #1: Not realizing you’re a commodity
First of all, you need to know something about the world. You use email sales because it’s virtually free for you. Guess what? It’s also free for all your competitors. You are not the only SEO, website design, or custom content proposal your prospect has received today. You’re the 9,417th. And there’s nothing, nothing in your email that says you’re better, smarter, or more successful than the others. You could vanish off the face of the earth and all your prospects would do is breathe a sigh of relief. To them, you are at best another carbon-copy service, and at worst, a blight on their day, a waste of their precious life energy, and convenient zombie food for the rapidly-approaching, post-apocalyptic, dystopian zombie future.
And by the way, you know how you provide a link to a valuable article as a favor to this person you’ve never met? Don’t bother. In 2004, maybe an article was valuable. Now, we’re drowning in content, most of it repetitive drivel. Your insights are not insightful. Your article is not art. You write an obvious form-letter and want them to believe your recommended article will be valuable? L. O. L. You’ve just demonstrated you don’t know what value is. You are living on another planet, my friend, a planet that is scary, and dangerous, and occupied by one-eyed green monsters who ooze slime. Do not get slimed.
It’s 2016. Generic, recycled, pablum content is not valuable. And a hint: everything I’ve ever seen posted on LinkedIn fits that description. So if you are going to make this awful mistake, at least go somewhere original to get your “valuable content” (Can you hear the air quotes? Because there were definitely air quotes).
Mistake #2: Using form letters
You must earn the right to make a recommendation to a prospect. Why? Because your prospect is flooded with content and offers. They don’t have the time or inclination to read or respond to your email. People are very good at knowing when they’re getting a form letter. And by “people,” I mean “me.”
Earn the right to their attention by showing you’ve put in effort on your end. Learn who they are and customize your efforts. “But that takes work!” I hear you cry. Yes, it does. It’s easy to send out 10,000 email messages to a rented list, and all 10,000 of those people know you value them at roughly $0.
It’s hard to customize an email pitch to 100 prospects. But if you send out 100 inquiries showing you understand someone’s business, you’ll get their attention, because no one does that. As long-time listeners know, intern MG sent a hand-written, carefully-thought-out apology note on fine stationery and made a huge impression that saved a relationship. People respond to personal attention.
Mistake #3: Knowing nothing about your prospect
If you’re talking about SEO services that are priced in the thousands of dollars, it’s certainly worth the time to try a focused, higher-touch prospecting service.
I get pitches for documentary films about pet lizard tattoos for Cambodian refugees. Really? My podcast is about personal productivity. My business website is about Living an Extraordinary Life. The only use I have for a pet lizard is to put it into an enlargement ray, let it starve for a few weeks, and then sic it on the person who sent me that completely inappropriate pitch.
You know what pitch works? A pitch that says, “I have a great app that helps people manage To-do lists the way you recommend in episode 243. It runs on all platforms so your entire audience will find it valuable. Would you consider taking a look?” They make it clear they know my topic area, they know me and my specific episodes, and they know that my audience comprises all platforms. I rarely recommend paid products, but sometimes I do. So in this case, I’d take a look. Is this a lot of work? You bet. But it’s the cost of getting your prospect’s attention, because so many other email salespeople have wasted your prospect’s time.
If you’re a long-time listener to this podcast, you’ll remember that Intern MG discovered that the most effective apologies are customized and show effort. The same is true of sales pitches. The days of commodity pitches to non-opt-in prospects are over.
Mistake #4: Not providing value immediately
A special note for SEO providers: you know that software that finds SEO errors on someone’s website? And you use it to send out messages telling me “your website isn’t optimized?” Well, your competitors use that same software. All 9,417 of them.
Don’t send a message saying “You don’t rank for your desired keywords.” That sounds like a form letter. Give enough value so I know you’re not one of the 9,417 form-letter-sending drones.
Here’s the message that would get my attention. “Based on looking at your site, you probably want to rank for keywords ‘cute cat pictures,’ ‘adorable puppies,’ and ‘grade d school lunch meat.’ If you optimize your WHAT-TO-DO-WHEN-FLUFFY-DIES.html page for these keywords, we believe you could get a 13% boost in qualified leads for both your taxidermy and school lunch meat preparation services. We’re willing to make your fee partially contingent on that result.”
You’re not just sending a vague form letter, you’re actually giving an example of the value you’d provide and supporting that claim with specifics.
Mistake #5: Botching the basics
Amusingly, I’ve never received an offer of custom content writing that was written in full, grammatical, English sentences. If you aren’t a native speaker of your prospect’s language, hire someone who is to edit your letter. Telling me you “write good” so I should “hire you for top content that is audience happy” is not going to impress me. Sending a cover letter in my language and my style is going to get my attention, pronto. (And by the way, if you can take an outline from me and produce an article written in my writing style, I want to know you! Now!)
Mistake #6: Using the wrong communication channel
Be clear: when someone puts a “contact me if you want to hire me” email address on their website, that is not a request to opt-in to your email list. In fact, it’s exactly the opposite: their contact info is so you can buy from them. If you’re not writing to buy something from them, you’re completely wasting their time. So don’t be surprised when they ask for your credit card number, to compensate them for the time they wasted reading an inappropriate sales pitch from someone who doesn’t understand what a web form is for. Don’t be that inappropriate person! Sending a sales pitch to someone else’s sales email address is rude, inconsiderate, and frankly, makes you look like a total nincompoop. Emphasis on the poop.
If you want to contact someone from their web site, look for a “press inquiries” or corporate contact number. Then do the work to find out who the right person is at that organization, and contact them that way. Is it work? Yes. But it might make a good impression. Sending a sales pitch to an inbound sales email just makes you look clueless. “Clueless” worked for Alicia Silverstone’s career, but you aren’t as pretty as she is, nor are you as good an actor.
Mistake #7: Using the wrong name
My name is Stever. That’s Steve-with-an-R. Now I understand that someone might not realize that. After all, it’s only in my domain name, my email address, my Facebook page, my Twitter feed, 435 episode sign-ons, 435 episode signoffs, my book cover, my Amazon author profile, my LinkedIn profile, my Harvard Business School Working Knowledge articles, and my ABC News Now, CNN, Newsweek, and MSNBC appearances. So I can see how someone might miss that. Sending me an email that starts “Dear Steve” just won’t work. If you want to convince someone you can do a good job, but you can’t even get their name right, you won’t be very convincing.
Mistake #8: Treating your prospect like the commodity that you are
When you’re making a request that someone share your content with their audience, you’re asking for access to their audience and you want to piggy-back on their reputation. Don’t be the person who puts the “pig” into “piggy-back.”
Think about that. Make sure your content fits their topic and their quality level. And frankly, make sure it’s not a piece of trite crap, which so many articles are. Leading by being authentic? Yawn. Not only is it trite, but actual leadership research says it’s flat-out wrong.
Leading by being authentic? Yawn. Not only is it trite, but actual leadership research says it’s flat-out wrong.
Is this a high bar? Of course. You’re asking for access to someone else’s audience and reputation. You have to earn that, and you don’t get it just because you think you’re a wonderful special snowflake. You actually have to be a wonderful special snowflake, which is really quite difficult. But you don’t deserve to be retweeted if you’re trying to pass off commodity sludge as fine art. If you don’t make the grade, you need to step up your game.
Mistake #9: Asking for free work
If you want someone to write for your publication, pay them. Asking for free content because you don’t have your own ideas, knowledge, or anything of worth to offer the world sucks. And using their incoming web form for business inquiries to ask them to work for free just makes you look unprofessional. And by unprofessional, I mean it makes you look like a rank amateur. Emphasis on the “rank.”
You expect to be paid for doing your worthless, commodity, non-valuable job. The idea that you would ask someone who actually does produce something of value to work for free simply underscores your own lack of moral worth. If your business can’t afford to pay the people who produce its value, then it isn’t a business, it’s a hobby that depends on exploitation. It—and you—deserve to fail.
Flame off!
Rest easy. I’m back to my friendly, happy-go-lucky self who sees nothing but the best of intentions and the deep, shared humanity that makes all of us worthwhile human beings.
The more people sell products and services through inbound email sales, the more the recipients get overloaded. The more they’re overloaded, the harder it is to get their attention. So now it’s time to step up your game. Customize your incoming email to show you know who the person is, why they would want your product, and how they’ll benefit.
Email is being ruined in no small part by inbound email sales. The result is that inbound email sales is becoming less effective
This is Stever Robbins. Follow GetItDoneGuy on Twitter and Facebook. I run programs to help people have Extraordinary Lives and extraordinary careers. If you want to know more, visit SteverRobbins.com.
Work Less, Do More, and Have a Great Life!
Image courtesy of Shutterstock.
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