How Being Less Defensive About Racism Will Help You Grow

Have you ever called a Black acquaintance you've met multiple times by the wrong name because you mixed them up with another Black person, even though they look nothing alike? Maybe you assumed your white friend's new boyfriend was also white ... until you met him and learned he was Latino. Ever laughed at or made a joke about a hurtful Asian stereotype? What about coming home from a party and suddenly realizing you introduced yourself only to strangers of your own race all evening even though the party was diverse?

I've done these things. And there have been many other times (including some I still haven't realized) when I participated in perpetuating racial prejudice, stereotyping, creating social distance between races, and discrimination.

I genuinely believe I am a good person who is not a racist. The idea of me contributing to racism sends my brain into DEFCON 3 defensive mode.

That sentence was incredibly hard to say out loud. It was especially hard to say without adding qualifiers like “perhaps,” “accidentally,” or “just like anyone else.” And this is because I genuinely believe I am a good person who is not a racist. The idea of me contributing to racism sends my brain into DEFCON 3 defensive mode.

If you can relate to this—or even if you don’t think you can but you do feel uncomfortable talking about racism—today’s discussion is for you. It’s aimed at people who consider themselves “not racist.” It will not be a finger-wagging exercise where I chastise you for being “secretly” racist. Instead, we'll take a compassionate but realistic look at ourselves as imperfect animals with defensive instincts.

What is implicit racial bias?

An important foundation for what we’ll talk about today is the concept of implicit racial bias. This refers to unconscious attitudes and tendencies that happen behind the scenes of what we say and do. These tendencies may not look like in-your-face racism. Nevertheless, they contribute to perpetuating racism in our society.

Implicit bias refers to unconscious attitudes and tendencies that happen behind the scenes of what we say and do.

Implicit bias is so well-documented in psychology research that there are non-profits and bestselling books devoted to the topic. Instead of enumerating the many research findings here, I’ll refer you to books like Blindspot to get...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips