7 Simple Tips to Help You Stop Feeling Inadequate

Have you ever sat in a classroom or work meeting and felt small, like you didn’t belong there, as you listened to other people make seemingly smarter comments than you can think of? Have you ever cringed at your own reflection in the mirror, seeing a body that's nothing like the ones you see in magazines? Or have you doubted your own sanity when you thought you were awesome but discovered that someone else seemed to think you didn't measure up?

Each of us has someone in our life who makes us feel as invalid as an expired password. Sometimes that someone is a parent, a partner, a total stranger, or even a friend. Often, that someone is actually something, like an academic institution or a whole cultural stereotype. And sadly, sometimes we buy into it ourselves.

Each of us has someone in our life who makes us feel as invalid as an expired password.

Recently, I was listening to Michelle Obama’s autobiography in audiobook form, and I stopped dead in my tracks when she described how in high school, a guidance counselor told her she was not “Princeton material.” Even more surprising than this was that she doubted herself, too. So much of what she did in her youth was aimed at answering the question, “Am I good enough?”

I wondered, “If Michelle Obama could question her own adequacy, what hope is there for the rest of us?”

Imposter syndrome is real. Every one of us can relate to this type of self-doubt on some level. And it’s not just about academic ability. Snuggly couples pop out from every corner whenever we feel lonely. Ridiculously attractive people seem to materialize next to us on the beach when we’re feeling especially bloated. We rejoice at passing the exam, but feel deflated as the kid next to us shows off a big "A." We try not to make eye contact with passers-by as we park our years-old Corolla between a Porsche and a Land Rover.

What do you do when life leaves you feeling like you're just not good enough? Here are seven ways to hit the reset button and see yourself anew.

1. Trust that everyone has their stuff

First of all, I’ll bet you my last box of Thin Mints that the kid next to you showing off their “A” grade feels deeply inadequate, themselves. Same thing for your Instagram influencer friend who looks perfect in every post and can’t stop bragging about how many “likes” they get. True adequacy doesn’t feel the need to advertise.

While we can’t know if these people in our lives are searching for affirmation, trying to build themselves up by comparing down to others, or simply...

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