7 Ways to Feel Good About Giving Up

The slogans are countless: You only get out what you put into it; I never dreamed of success, I worked for it; nothing worth having comes easy. Even Malcolm Gladwell’s “10,000 hour rule” claims that the holy grail of mastery is achieved only through decades of dedication.

But how often do you hear a slogan that says you tried hard enough—at building your business, chasing your dream, sustaining your relationship—and now it’s time to move on? Rarely. And how much blood, sweat, and tears are wasted on hopeless cases? A lot. Maybe you’ve been there—drained emotionally, financially, or both, but somehow you can’t bear to step away.

Why? Consider a concept known as the “sunk cost fallacy.” It comes from both psychology and economics and refers to a decision-making bias that leads us to pour more time, money, effort, or other resources into a project simply because we’ve already invested in it. We fall prey to this whether the stakes are high, like continuing to throw money and energy into a clearly doomed business, or low, like forcing yourself to finish a lousy salad just because you (over)paid twelve bucks for it. No matter the scale, humans are reliably illogical when it comes to calling it quits.

Why Do We Refuse to Quit?

Why did evolution do this to us? Researchers theorize that the phenomenon may come from an effort to avoid wasting precious resources. This rule makes sense when you look at it from a scarcity perspective—better to keeping slogging away if you’ve already invested limited resources, but at a certain point the logic breaks down.

For instance, it might seem a waste to part ways with a partner of many years, but continuing in vain to repair the relationship is no less wasteful. You could argue that staying in is actually more wasteful, and that bringing an unfulfilling, emotionally draining relationship to an end frees up opportunity to try again.

The notion of failure, though, is so stigmatized that it’s no wonder we keep the doors of our failing jazz bar open rather than truly facing the music. Plus, it just feels wrong to jump ship even though we’re likely to sink. However, that feeling may actually be the sunk cost fallacy leading us astray. What to do? Here are 7 ways not only to throw in the towel, but to feel good about it.

Tip #1: Write down not only what it’s cost you already, but what it will cost in the future.

Sometimes going with our gut can be useful, but sometimes our guts are...

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