Recently, I read about a woman’s whirlwind dating experience that started out feeling romantic and ended with her seeking therapy for post-traumatic stress disorder. She described feeling infatuated with her handsome, glamorous boyfriend, who entered her life with a larger-than-life charm. But then she started to see another side of him, one that abused alcohol and drugs to the point of needing her to caretake multiple nights per week, one that lied about money, and one that alternated between making aggressive outbursts and pleading apologies.
By the end of the relationship, this woman said, she felt emotionally and physically exhausted. She felt like she was spinning out of control, feeling uncertain of herself, sometimes even doing things in the bedroom that were uncharacteristic of her. She finally made a full break to help herself heal.
Narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism are a trio of personality traits that spell trouble.
Sadly, this kind of relationship happens to many people, men and women alike. What they have in common is a partner who may very well have the dark triad—narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism, a trio of personality traits that spell trouble.
Last week we walked through the destructive relationship patterns of people with the dark triad. I hope nothing in that episode resonated with your own experiences with a past or current partner, but if so, you might now be able to put a name to why a relationship feels or felt traumatic.
Now the question is: How do we protect ourselves from falling into a dark triad relationship in the first place? What are the warning signs? And how do we get out of that situation?
What is the dark triad?
First, a quick recap of what the dark triad includes.
Machiavellianism
This describes someone who is strategic and manipulative in their use of other people for personal gain. For example, a politician who flatters rich campaign donors and starts a rumor about their opponent is being Machiavellian.
Psychopathy
This trait boils down to a lack of empathy with a helping of recklessness and thrill-seeking. Someone who laughs at other people’s pain or commits crimes without much concern may have psychopathy.
Narcissism
This refers to a strong need for admiration and high status while also feeling entitled to special treatment. A celebrity who says “Don’t you know who I am?” when they don’t get special treatment at a restaurant might have a dash of narcissism.
How to spot dark triad behaviors
Add those three personality traits together, and you’ve got...
Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips
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