How to Handle a Freeloader

There is a major difference from someone who asks to stay with you for a few days and a freeloader. Unlike a friendly houseguest, a freeloader doesn't care about what you have going on in your life—only their own comfort. They may even make complaints about the bed they're borrowing. … Typical.

Bottom line, freeloaders stink! But when they come into your life, you must combat them with grace, wit, and as much patience as you can … before you have to put your foot down. Which you have a right to do. I’ll explain that and more with these 3 quick and dirty tips.

Tip #1: Deadlines

We all have deadlines. In fact, as I write this podcast, my editor has already emailed me asking where it is. “Come on, I’m an artist! You can’t rush creativity!”

Life is a team sport, and in your life, you are the star player. You may have a lovely team, but if you can’t captain your own self, you can’t help others.

The good thing about deadlines, though, is that both parties know where they stand. Some people may think it’s rude to give a friend or family member deadlines on crashing with you, but it's the mature choice—and the safe choice. After all, a freeloader doesn't care about your time or money. If you make an open-ended invitation, their "one-week visit" could turn into months. They’ll stay until you throw them out.

Before anyone comes to stay, you have to ask, “How long?” Not to be rude, but to be practical. Is it two days or nine weeks?  If you don’t ask, they can argue that they assumed it was until they were ready. Instead, sit down (or write an email, or make a phone call) and ask them how long. Also ask what they will need—food, to borrow your car, for you to take them out, etc.—and then tell them your deadline.

“No problem, Rachel. But in two weeks I'll be cleaning out the house, so it may be hard to have you here then. You understand, right?” Or, “I’m happy to have you here, Ben, but Melissa will be staying with me next month and it might get kind of crowded. You understand, right?”

Adding, “You understand, right?” is the best way to complete a deadline discussion. Because if they don’t understand, then they are not a real friend—they’re a freeloader.

Tip #2: Your Money

Freeloaders aren't hard to spot. Their reputation usually precedes them. So when they hit you up for something, you shouldn't expect the deal to work out as planned.

One Modern Manners Facebook friend told me that his old college roommate,...

Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips