At some point, our kids begin to test the waters with "little white lies" and other sneaky, manipulative maneuvers. Sneaky behavior can be disheartening and troublesome to any parent, but it can also perpetuate and grow into more serious problems if it’s not nipped in the bud.
Kids who engage in sneaky behavior usually have a reason. Your teen may try to test boundaries—like fudging the actual time they returned home for curfew—to see how much control they actually have over their own lives. Or your preschooler may casually slide a few cookies in his pocket before dinner because he knows you’ll say he can only have a treat for dessert if he eats all of his green beans—ick!
Even though your child knows he's doing something dishonest, in his mind he may reason that he’s problem solving.
Even though your child knows he's doing something dishonest, in his mind he may reason that he’s problem-solving. If he gets away with it, however, it’s like an invitation to try again, but next time he might take something a lot more valuable than a cookie.
Before sneaky actions get out of control, here are four ways you can address the issue and stop it in its tracks.
Model what you preach
Our kids are great observers, and whether we realize it or not, they’re constantly watching our every move. They imitate our behaviors and actions because, after all, we're their most important role models.
One of the most effective ways to combat dishonest behavior is not to engage in it ourselves.
One of the most effective ways to combat dishonest behavior is not to engage in it ourselves. You’ve been dreading returning the PTA president’s phone call because you don’t want to be roped into this year’s fundraiser. Instead of being honest and telling her you just don't have the time, you fabricate an excuse by weaving an elaborate tale. But your middle-schooler heard and knows you haven't told the truth. You may have even invited her to join you in celebrating your ability to wiggle out of a task you didn't want to do.
When we practice "little white lies" in front of our children, we’re giving them the thumbs up to follow suit. Be mindful of the honesty factor in your home environment so your kids will take you seriously when you preach that honesty is the best policy—even when it’s not convenient or you’re trying not to hurt someone’s feelings.
Engage your sneak with a problem-solving conversation
When you know that your child has been sneaky or lied to you, your first instinct might be to question or accuse them. But this tactic can set you and your child up for...
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