Can You Still Be Successful If You Don't Want a Promotion?

Congratulations! You’ve landed your dream job. And you are, if you do say so yourself, crushing it. Your work is top-notch, your ideas innovative, you meet every deadline and ask for more. You’ve been recognized and celebrated. And your reward is—drumroll please—a bigger, more sought-after job!

The only problem? You don’t want the bigger job. You love the one you've got. That's why it was your dream job in the first place.

I received a question from Anna, a Modern Mentor listener in Oregon who's struggling with this very conundrum. She says:

Both my husband and I are in jobs that we currently really enjoy. We feel like we are constantly being offered ‘up the ladder’ positions that are not interesting due to the increase in stress and decrease in work-life balance. It’s uncomfortable to feel like you’re being pushed into something you don’t want to do, and there seems to be culturally-inflicted shame and stigma around not wanting to climb the corporate ladder.

My friend in Portland, I hear you. One of the tenets of this show is the idea that we all get to define success on our terms. If the idea of earning a promotion inspires you, lean on in! But if you're happy in the role you've got, know that success comes in many forms. No one should feel pressured to take on someone else’s vision.

Success comes in many forms. No one should feel pressured to take on someone else’s vision.

So, what can we do when we’re happy where we are? How do we continue to feel valued by our organization without feeling the shame my listener described?

Send shame packing

Anna used the term “culturally-inflicted shame.” Famed researcher and author Brene Brown defines shame as “the intensely painful feeling … that we are flawed—something we've experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy.” 

So let's begin with mindset. It's natural to feel bad when you’ve done something you regret—you dropped the ball, you broke someone’s confidence. But feeling shame for being awesome at your job and not wanting to give it up? I say no way.

In the last full-time job I held, I had a reputation for being excellent at setting and maintaining boundaries, particularly as a working mom. During my tenure in that role, I had dozens of colleagues approach me and ask for my secret. My number one piece of advice never wavered—do not apologize for knowing what you need and protecting it.

Due to my childcare arrangements, I had to physically leave my office by 3:30 p.m. every day. I was strategic with my schedule—using my...

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