A leading online women’s magazine recently did a run-down of the ten most highly searched relationship questions on Google. The results were pretty shocking. The #1 most-asked question turned out to be: “How to make a long distance relationship work?”
That’s interesting. We’re all usually told to do everything we can to avoid long-distance relationships.
What’s going on here? Google doesn’t give an opinion. But it seems more people do find themselves in long-distance relationships these days—despite all the traditional warnings.
Long-Distance Relationships in the 21st Century
According to one study, about three million married Americans now live apart from their spouse at some point during their marriage. Part of the explanation may be economic. These days it’s typical for both partners to work. Which means that sooner or later one of you may have to move for a job assignment.
Another reason for the apparent uptick in long distance relationships is that many relationships these days start out long-distance. Almost 40% of heterosexual American couples today actually meet online. For same-sex couples, it’s more than 60%. If you’re looking for love online, it’s easy to get attracted to someone who lives a bit farther away than you’d ordinarily consider practical. Before you know it, you’re part of a long-distance couple.
If you’re looking for love online, it’s easy to get attracted to someone who lives a bit farther away than you’d ordinarily consider practical. Before you know it, you’re part of a long-distance couple.
There are also lots of new, creative ways for couples to stay in touch. According to one study, the average long-distance couple exchanges 343 text messages—and spends eight hours on the phone or video together—in a typical week. There’s now a whole micro-industry devoted to supporting long-distance relationships—through special apps, special web sites, and even long-distance interactive sex toys.
So, Is There Hope for Long Distance Relationships?
With all these innovations, do long-distance relationships stand a better chance than they used to? Two recent studies found that people in long distance relationships report equal levels of relationship satisfaction, and even better levels of satisfaction on some measures, than conventional couples.
So let’s ask the obvious question: Are we now at a point where friends and family should finally stop warning couples against long-distance relationships? The answer, I think, depends on where you happen to be in your relationship when you face the decision to go long-distance or not.
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