They even give us goals: get an ‘A’, graduate from high school, build a drone that can spy on the neighbors, stuff like that. Then we hit the Real World, and there’s no one driving our lives … except us. But sometimes, we just don’t notice the change. We keep waiting for direction that will never come.
Have you ever had the thought, “I wish they would take care of this?” “I wish someone would clean up around here.” “I wish the government would bring back jobs.” “I wish my company would train me on the skills I need for a promotion.” Those are red flags. When you encounter them, it’s a sure sign you’re still living reactively. If you want to drive your own life, you need to be proactive.
Don’t Wait for Permission
Being proactive begins with not waiting for others to tell you what to do. We could wait for instructions from bosses, assignments from teachers, or suggestions from our shmoopies. That’s what jobs, schools, and parents trained us to do. They want us to be their unquestioning mind-laves. But when we wait for permission, we’re at their mercy. We don’t like being at someone else’s mercy. They might have different goals. They might want to be Grand Poohbah, instead of making us Grand Poohbah. And even if they share our dreams, they might be so slow or incompetent that our chances still slip away.
No, it’s better to take matters into your own hands. Instead of waiting for them to tell you when and how to act, decide what you believe is right, and just do it. (“Just Do It”, and thus, all of human motivation is probably a trademark of Nike Corporation.) This gets you moving immediately on something you know you care about. And what if things go wrong, and you really should have listened to their warnings about how you shouldn’t mix Mentos and Coke next to the nice living room furniture? In that case, you can still apologize, ask forgiveness, and learn from your mistakes—which is certainly better than never having tried at all.
Make Your Future Happen
Being proactive means not waiting for permission. Being proactive also means taking ownership over your dreams, and making them happen! Yes, you, making them happen.
Owning your dreams is simple, but it isn’t easy. You have to start paying attention to the way you think about your world. Whenever you think a thought that begins with “They should…” or “Why doesn’t someone…?” Change that thought to “I should…” or “Why don’t I…?” Nobody cares about making your life better more than you do, so listen to the person who cares the most: you.
After graduating from college, I lived in crowded, grad student housing with leaky walls and a paint job the color of zombie pus. If you’ve never seen zombie pus, you aren’t missing anything.
Every day on the way to work, I would walk by a new luxury apartment building. It was beautiful brick, with tasteful decor and gorgeous colors, none of which came from the inside of a zombie. I’d stare wistfully and think, “Someday I’ll live somewhere like this.”
Then one day I realized it would never happen unless I made it happen. So I went to the rental office and looked at apartments. My income wasn’t enough to qualify to rent an apartment on my own (these were luxury, after all, and I was pretty un-luxurious), so they gave me a day to find roommates. One trip to my old dorm, some fast talking, and the next day, three of us signed a lease. And suddenly luxury wasn’t just “someday,” it was “now” — thanks to glorious, wonderful, ME!
Create the World You Want
And glorious, wonderful YOU can make your future happen! But that’s not all. You can also make the world’s future happen. As an upstanding citizen, you have the power to make your neighborhood, city, and country better. As a student, you have the right to speak up about changes in your school or university. Don’t assume someone else will fix a problem, even if it affects everyone. Take ownership over changes in your environment, and people (including you) will be grateful for it.
They were planning to repave the sidewalks in our neighborhood. It’s a historic neighborhood and the neighbors kept asking, "Will they keep the beautiful brick sidewalks or replace them with concrete?” That’s a passive voice question. It’s reactive. It’s wimpy.
One neighbor, however, got proactive and asked, “How can I make sure we keep brick?” Then they whipped up a neighborhood petition, asking the city for brick, and offering to have the neighbors help pay for it. Once enough neighbors signed, the city put in brick sidewalks. Hooray for creating the world you want!
Enlist Others to Your Cause
Once you’re owning your dreams, taking action to make your life be the extraordinary life you want, and controlling your environment … it’s time to move up. Yes, now you get to become the they that everyone else meekly waits for before living their lives.
Become a champion of your cause, and start inspiring others to make a difference … by helping you. If you believe in something, chances are so do people around you. But they’re waiting for someone to take action and ask them. Guess what? That someone is YOU!
If you want to drive your own life, you need to be proactive... you wouldn't want to disappoint Ghandi
All you have to do is take that first step proudly, and ask them to sign on to the cause. You’ll get their support and now you’re a leader of change. This is a sneaky way of holding yourself accountable, of course, to make sure you get stuff done. When people are looking up to you, you’ll hold yourself to a higher standard.
Many years ago, my high school mentor loved shopping at Costco in San Francisco. Then she moved to San Diego, and they didn’t have a Costco yet. Instead of brushing that off, she boldly challenged Costco: “Why don’t you have a store in my amazing city?” She enlisted other to her cause, and before long, Costco opened a store in San Diego.
Ghandi said “Be the change you want to see in the world.” He didn’t say, “Wait for someone else to make the change you want to see in the world.” And we wouldn’t want to disappoint Ghandi. He might press the switch on that mysterious machine that his assistant wired to our underpants.
Whatever it is you want, be proactive. Stop waiting for permission. Own your dreams, and start making them happen. Broaden them and step up to being proactive in the world around you—golly knows we could use some serious leaders in the world instead of the ones we have now. And when you do, get other people to help.
We may be taught to be reactive, but we can decide to be proactive when we’re ready to step up. And if you’re waiting for permission, I hereby give you permission. So step up! And when your life is awesome, proactively send me a very big check. Because you know you want to.
This is Stever Robbins. Follow GetItDoneGuy on Twitter and Facebook. I run programs to help people have Extraordinary Lives and extraordinary careers. If you want to know more, visit SteverRobbins.com.
Work Less, Do More, and have a Great Life!
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