3 Sexy Ways Texting in a Relationship Works (And 3 Pitfalls to Avoid)

Texting in a relationship can be a great thing. It can also be a disaster. Today I want to talk with you about how to enjoy all the wonderful things texting can bring to your relationship while avoiding the most common pitfalls.

Texting is part of every relationship

For better or worse, texting is now a permanent part of the relationship landscape. Americans now send a total of 26 billion text messages a day. The average American spends nearly an hour each day sending and receiving texts. There’s even a study suggesting that “text compatibility”—how well your texting habits match—are an important predictor of relationship satisfaction.

Human beings didn’t develop the capacity for language until very recently. Until then, our ancestors got along perfectly well with non-verbal communication plus the occasional grunts and groans.

Human beings didn’t develop the capacity for language until very recently, at least in terms of our 13.8-billion-year-old universe. Scientists estimate humans began developing languages anywhere from two-million to just 50,000 years ago. Until then, our ancestors got along perfectly well with non-verbal communication plus the occasional grunts and groans. Written language didn’t get invented until much, much later. So disembodied words on a screen may be something our brains haven’t evolved to process very well.

As a sex and relationship therapist, I often feel nostalgic for the good old days when texting didn’t wreak such havoc in relationships.

I’m not just talking about extreme things like catching your partner cheating by intercepting a text message. I’m talking about the endless misunderstandings that occur when people try to rely on text to communicate.

Be smart about texting in a relationship by asking yourself one simple question

There’s one crucial question that determines whether or not texting is going to be a good way to communicate at any given moment. And that question has to do with whether, at that moment, you and your partner both want the same thing.

Texting tends to be a great means of communication when you both want the same thing. But when you don’t, or you’re not really sure, then texting is often the worst communication technique in the world.

Texting can be a great thing for relationships. It can also be a disaster.

The most important question to ask yourself...

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