What Should You Do if Your Partner Is Addicted to Video Games?

Your partner seems to be spending more and more time playing their favorite online video game. They’re up late at night playing, long after you fall asleep. They no longer have much interest in sex. You ask them to cut down, but you don’t get much response. What do you do?  

Can you really be addicted to video games?

Most people these days live in two worlds—the real world, and the online world. As we’ve discussed before, in episode 3 of Relationship Doctor, this has serious implications for intimate relationships in the 21st Century.

75 percent of American households include at least one video gamer.

One of the most popular ways people live in the Internet is through online video games. According to the Entertainment Software Association, 75% of American households include at least one video gamer. The video game industry makes more money than the film and music industries combined.

Gaming can be a fun, engaging diversion in the right context. For some people, though, video game use can become a problem. Many mental health professionals think that, for a very small percentage of regular users, video games can be addictive. That’s still controversial, as we’ll discuss today. But what’s clear is that video gaming can occasionally have serious negative consequences.

As my editor, a former video game journalist, notes, “I’ve seen marriages dissolve, people who lost friends and even jobs because of gaming, and young adults flunking out of college as the result of problem gaming habits. These stories aren’t the norm, but they’re out there.”

Can you be addicted to video games if it’s not a drug?

New neuroscience suggests that video games can activate changes in your brain similar to addictive substances like drugs or alcohol. Problem gaming can be a form of self-medication.

In 2013, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) reviewed the arguments for and against including something called Internet Gaming Disorder in its most recent Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5).

The APA felt there wasn’t enough research evidence to make a decision. But they did include it in a...

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