5 Signs You're Too Self-Critical

Being hard on yourself is double-edged—highly self-critical individuals are often successful achievers. But the road to those achievements isn’t a smooth ride; instead, it’s often riddled with potholes of stress, insecurity, and self-doubt. 

Self-criticism may be overt, such as calling yourself names like "idiot" or "loser" when you don’t meet your own standards, or disparaging your accomplishments to those who try to congratulate you. 

But self-criticism may be covert, too. And it may leak out in sneaky ways, like an eating disorder, social anxiety, or depression. Therefore, this week, we’ll talk about five signs it may be time to trade in your criticism for some kindness.

5 Signs You're Being Too Self-Critical

1. You're never content.
2. You feel constantly overwhelmed.
3. You always feel guilty.
4. You go it alone.
5. You’re too humble.

Here are the self-critical signs in more detail. 

Sign #1: You’re never content.

Even if we’ve run out of room on our trophy shelf, made the Dean’s list, or framed the first dollar from our newly launched business, we just don’t feel satisfied. Or perhaps we do, but it’s either fleeting or weighed down by qualifications: “Yeah, I got the promotion, but I don’t think it was unanimous,” or “Meeting the Dalai Lama was amazing, but I got star struck and babbled like an idiot.”

We may feel like a failure, even as others congratulate us on a job well done. We may feel like a loser, even when our life is objectively going well. 

Of course, it’s important to strive, aim high, and even kick our own butts from time to time, but too much time in thumbscrews slows our progress. Why? Our criticism has good intentions: we’re trying to motivate ourselves and accomplish great things. But it backfires. Focusing on all the ways we fall short either takes the wind out of our sails or fixates our attention on unimportant details rather than the big picture. 

Sign #2: You feel constantly overwhelmed.

Self-critical individuals are often responsible and reliable. This personality trait is called conscientiousness. Conscientiousness gets you a long way—it’s a better predictor of success than intelligence. However, it’s also a quality that often...

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