5 Signs You're Too Self-Critical

Being hard on yourself is double-edged—highly self-critical individuals are often successful achievers. But the road to those achievements isn’t a smooth ride; instead, it’s often riddled with potholes of stress, insecurity, and self-doubt. 

Self-criticism may be overt, such as calling yourself names like "idiot" or "loser" when you don’t meet your own standards, or disparaging your accomplishments to those who try to congratulate you. 

But self-criticism may be covert, too. And it may leak out in sneaky ways, like an eating disorder, social anxiety, or depression. Therefore, this week, we’ll talk about five signs it may be time to trade in your criticism for some kindness.

5 Signs You're Being Too Self-Critical

1. You're never content.
2. You feel constantly overwhelmed.
3. You always feel guilty.
4. You go it alone.
5. You’re too humble.

Here are the self-critical signs in more detail. 

Sign #1: You’re never content.

Even if we’ve run out of room on our trophy shelf, made the Dean’s list, or framed the first dollar from our newly launched business, we just don’t feel satisfied. Or perhaps we do, but it’s either fleeting or weighed down by qualifications: “Yeah, I got the promotion, but I don’t think it was unanimous,” or “Meeting the Dalai Lama was amazing, but I got star struck and babbled like an idiot.”

We may feel like a failure, even as others congratulate us on a job well done. We may feel like a loser, even when our life is objectively going well. 

Of course, it’s important to strive, aim high, and even kick our own butts from time to time, but too much time in thumbscrews slows our progress. Why? Our criticism has good intentions: we’re trying to motivate ourselves and accomplish great things. But it backfires. Focusing on all the ways we fall short either takes the wind out of our sails or fixates our attention on unimportant details rather than the big picture. 

Sign #2: You feel constantly overwhelmed.

Self-critical individuals are often responsible and reliable. This personality trait is called conscientiousness. Conscientiousness gets you a long way—it’s a better predictor of success than intelligence. However, it’s also a quality that often...

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What Does It Mean to Be ‘In the Limelight’?

Have you ever wondered what it means to be “in the limelight?”  

Let me tell you right now that it has nothing to do with limes.

Instead, it has to do with minerals, lighthouses, and the early days of theater.

For starters, “to be in the limelight” is an expression that means to be under intense public scrutiny—to have all eyes on you. This could be in the moment; for example, if you were an actor on stage in a critical scene. Or it could be over a period of time; if you were a celebrity caught in a scandal, for example. 

Limelight’s Invention, and Its Use in Surveying

This expression dates back to 1816. A young Scottish engineer named Thomas Drummond had been hired by Britain’s Ordnance Survey to create detailed maps of Scotland. But he struggled to get accurate readings in the murky Scottish weather. 

To solve this problem, he turned to English inventor Sir Goldsworthy Gurney. (What a name!) Gurney had developed a blowpipe that burned hydrogen and oxygen, which created an extremely hot flame. Gurney found that when he used the flame to heat calcium oxide—also known as “quicklime”—it produced an intense white light. 

This light was so spectacular, and so much brighter than other lights from that time, that viewers were stunned. Here’s what one witness said: “… when the gas began to play, the lime being brought now to its full ignition … a glare shone forth, overpowering … A shout of triumph and of admiration burst from all present.”

Limelight made it easier for surveyors to measure distances.

Drummond realized that if he placed a limelight on a reference point in the landscape, it could be seen from miles away—as many as 50 miles away. This would make the work of surveyors measuring distances immensely easier.

A New Light for Lighthouses?

Drummond’s light was used throughout the surveying of Scotland, and in the subsequent surveying of Ireland, and starting in 1829, it was put into trial for use in lighthouses. The light it created, said one witness, was “not only more vivid and conspicuous [than other types of light], but was peculiarly remarkable from its exquisite whiteness. Indeed, there seems no great presumption in comparing its splendour to that of the sun….”

...

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Grammar Quirks: Will Schwalbe on the Word 'Unique'

Grammar Girl: What’s your favorite word and why?

Will Schwalbe: "Remarkable." The great thing about this word is that it proves itself true. If you declare something remarkable, by the very act you make it so. You’ve not only declared it worthy of attention, you’ve actually brought attention to it.

GG: What’s a word you dislike (either because it’s overused or misused) and why?

WS: "Awesome." I overuse this word and others do too. Very rarely are the things we declare awesome worthy of awe. It’s one of those words that is a product of our tendency towards hype and exaggeration. If we declare something interesting or good, we are damning it with faint praise. If we don’t say something is awesome, it’s as though we didn’t care for it at all.

GG: What word will you always misspell?

WS: I can never remember how to spell "independent." I always want to throw an "a" in there somewhere. I gather that at one time "independance" may have been a variant in English and that it has also been a common transcription error in historical documents. 

GG: What word (or semblance of a word) would you like to see added to the dictionary? Why?

WS: "Arugalid." I think we need a new noun to categorize the type of person who is fresh and a bit peppery in a delightful way. So that’s one. "Independance." That’s another. So (see above) that way I wouldn’t be entirely wrong—perhaps we could define it to mean "dancing by oneself." 

Very rarely are the things we declare awesome worthy of awe.

GG: Any grammar pet peeves we should know about?

WS: I’m one of those people who just can’t bear any adverb before "unique." You either are or you aren’t.

GG: Do you have a favorite quote or passage from an author you’d like to share?

WS: Lin Yutang, quoting the ancient scholar Yuan Chunglang, "You can leave the books that you don't like alone, and let other people read them." And also Lin Yutang on reading, "There is no proper place and time for reading. When the mood for reading comes, one can read anywhere...What, then, is the true art of reading? The simple answer is to just take up a book and read when the mood comes. To be thoroughly enjoyed, reading must be entirely spontaneous."

GG: ...

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8 Smart Ways to Clean Your Electronics

From grimy keyboards to germy remotes, these DIY tips will tell you how to repurpose common household items to clean your electronics safely and efficiently.

Clean & Protect Devices

1. Simple DIY Screen Cleaner
Sure, you can buy a commercial screen cleaner or cleaning wipes for $10 to $15, or you can make your own at home for pennies. All you need: white vinegar, distilled water, and a spray bottle. In the bottle, mix equal parts vinegar and distilled water. When you’re ready to clean your phone, TV, or computer screen, first give it a dusting with a microfiber cloth. Then shake your spray bottle, spritz a little of the mixture on a clean cloth, and bring your screens back to clean!

2. Dust with Coffee Filters
When your electronic screens need a dusting, grab a coffee filter. It’ll grab dust without scratching or leaving smudges.

3. Clean Up Your Keys
The easiest way to clean the gunk and dust between your computer keys is with transparent tape. Slide a 2-inch strip between the rows of your keyboard, and the adhesive will pick up any debris. More dust than dirt? Try a small, soft paintbrush. Really tiny crumbs need loosening? Look for cleaning tools in your bathroom. You can brush with a child’s toothbrush, and swipe a strand of dental floss between the keys in your computer keyboard. So many simple yet effective options!

4. Need More Key-Cleaning Power?
Simply dip a cotton swab or cotton ball in hydrogen peroxide or rubbing alcohol and run it between your computer keys. Another surprising solution that works: mouthwash! The same cleaning solutions work for your mouse.

5. Get Help from Squeeze Bottles
Save plastic squeeze bottles, but not for storage—they make the perfect substitute for bottles of compressed air, which are used to clean out computer keyboards, electronics, and other tiny crevices. This works especially well with squeeze bottles with small spouts, such as lemon juice dispensers. Wash them well and let them dry completely before using. To really power up this repurposed tool, try using just the top of a squeeze bottle top as an extension on your wet/dry vacuum to clean nooks on electronic devices.

6. Refresh Remotes
Remote controls gather a lot of grime and germs from so much handling. Squeeze a drop of hand sanitizer onto a paper towel or cloth to clean remotes. To reach between buttons, use a cotton swab.

7. Protect Your Phone at the Beach
When you spend a day at the beach, sand can get everywhere—including the nooks of your phone. But you can protect it from scratches, humidity, and other sneaky damage while still keeping it...

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Who Was Charles Coughlin and Radio’s Religious Right?

In November 1938, one of America’s most famous radio personalities took to the airwaves on a Sunday afternoon, as he had done for years. Unlike the talk shows of later years, this host would not be taking calls from his fans. On this occasion the host opened his show with the usual church choir and organ music, before launching into a startling defense of Nazi Germany’s treatment of the Jews. Though he claimed to oppose any form of religious discrimination, the host proclaimed that recent violence against the German Jewish community was merely a response to the threat posed by Communism. He went on to name two dozen Jews he claimed had helped bring about the Russian Revolution back in 1917, before concluding that Jews had risen to “high places in radio, press and finance” and were now feeling a backlash.

This was the radio show of Father Charles Coughlin, one of America’s most infamous radio personalities of all time. From 1926 until 1940, Coughlin hosted a Sunday radio program that often focused more on politics than matters of faith. He would eventually see himself as the voice of millions of disaffected Americans who had lost everything in the Depression, and saw no improvement in sight. This populism gathered him what may have been the largest audience in American radio history, if not world history. While we don’t have accurate audience information from the 1930s, polling suggests that Coughlin’s monthly audience may have been as large as 29 million people, with about half that listening on a weekly basis. This meant his audience was much larger than any other talk show hosts’ before or since. By 1938 Coughlin had convinced millions of Americans that he understood their problems as no one else could and was giving them a voice.

Coughlin was now espousing a political ideology of his own concoction, and it bore remarkable similarities to Nazism.

The “Radio Priest” — as he was known — came from humble beginnings. Coughlin himself was actually Canadian and was born in Ontario. He entered the seminary and was apparently an outstanding student. After entering the priesthood he was appointed to a small shrine — called the Shrine of the Little Flower — in the Detroit suburb of Royal Oak. This was an area known for its Ku Klux Klan presence, and local members welcomed the new priest by burning a cross on his front lawn. Coughlin came to believe that the best way to combat prejudice was by making his church popular, and a few months later he invited big-name baseball players, including the Catholic Babe Ruth, for a visit. The event not only gained Coughlin positive press coverage, but also raised his profile in the community.

Using the new technology of radio...

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11 Hacks for Common Cooking Problems

From forgetting to thaw the chicken to opening lids with ease, our kitchen rescues are here to save you from these common cooking problems.

Meal Rescues

1. Update Your Meat Menu
If your meat turned out dry, rethink your dish. Shred beef or chicken and tuck it into a sauce over pasta or feature it as a taco filling. No one needs to know what was originally on the menu!

2. Don’t Toss Those Muffins!
Baked goods a little burned on the bottom? Just lightly lift the charred bottoms off of them or with a box grater or vegetable peeler.

Better Prep

3. Keep That Recipe Handy
Don’t have room for a countertop cookbook holder? Here’s a clever way to keep a recipe within your easy view: Attach it to the clips of a pants hanger, then loop the hanger’s handle over a top cabinet knob or pull. Your recipe will be right at eye level!

4. Forgot to Take Out the Meat?
If you’re in a rush to get some frozen meat thawed, pour a bit of white vinegar on it. This will help it thaw faster, as well as help tenderize the meat. This technique works great on steaks!

5. Spray Away the Stick
You can prevent jars of sticky foods and liquids (jam, honey, syrup) from resisting opening with one little step. After opening them the first time, spray a little nonstick spray around the jar rims before closing up. Spraying in pulses and holding the jar at an angle will help you direct the spray at the rim, not the food.

6. Fresh Spaghetti in Small Spaces
Homemade pasta doesn’t need to take over your entire kitchen. Forget those hefty, commercial drying racks. A simple, clean plastic coat hanger hung from a pot rack or cabinet handles can work just as well.

Avoid a Mess

7. No-Drip Pancake Batter
Ladles can still leave quite a mess as you move small amounts of batter repeatedly from the bowl to the griddle. Instead, try pouring a good amount of pancake batter into a clean, quart-size yogurt or cottage cheese container. Bending the flexible sides will give you an easy pour for more portions into the pan.

8. Slow Down That Syrup
It’s easy for anyone but kids especially to pour too much syrup on pancakes, waffles, or French toast. So before you pour, attach a liquid pourer (like you see in cruets of oil) to the syrup bottle top. When done with using, remove, wash, and set aside for your next syrup session.

9. Easy Ice for Bottles
Trying to fit ice cubes into water bottles is messy and difficult. Make ice-cold, on-the-go water easy by storing bottles filled with a small amount of water...

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Got Old Retirement Accounts? 5 Costly Mistakes to Avoid

Sue B. says, “I’ve had multiple jobs in the past few years and still have a different retirement plan from each one. Should I roll them all over into an IRA for better tracking or just keep them in their separate accounts?”

Thanks for your question, Sue! The average American worker will have more than 11 jobs in their lifetimes, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Chances are many will come with a retirement plan, such as a 401(k), a 403(b), or a Thrift Savings Plan (TSP), if you work for the federal government.

But knowing what to do with an old retirement plan when you change jobs can be confusing. In this post, I’ll review your options and cover five costly mistakes to avoid.

5 Costly Mistakes to Avoid With Old Retirement Accounts

1. Cashing out old account balances. 
2. Forgetting about old plans. 
3. Missing the benefits of consolidation. 
4. Not factoring in your age. 
5. Doing an indirect rollover.

Before making any moves with your retirement account, make sure you understand some of the biggest missteps and how to avoid them.

1. Cashing out old account balances.

By far, the worst mistake you can make with an old retirement account is cashing it out. So I’m glad that Sue didn’t say this option was on her mind.

Many people get lured into cashing out an old retirement plan because it’s tempting and easy to do. Problem is, cashing out is incredibly expensive. If you’re younger than age 59½, taking a retirement distribution means you must pay income tax, plus an additional 10% early withdrawal penalty.

Here’s an example: Let’s say you have a balance in a traditional account of $50,000 and decide to cash out. If you must pay 40% for federal and state tax, plus an additional 10% penalty, you lose 50%. Your $50,000 retirement balance just shrunk to $25,000 in one fell swoop. That makes me want to cry!

If your distribution is large enough, it could also push you into a higher tax bracket for the year, costing you even more in taxes. In addition, you lose all future growth that your account could have earned.

For instance, if you’re 30 years away from retirement, $50,000 could grow to more than $500,000, assuming an 8% annual return. So requesting a lump sum distribution and shutting down your account could...

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