Perfect Families Don't Exist—How to Be Good Enough

Regardless of parenting style, we parents have one goal in common—raising successful, independent children who will make a positive difference in the world. But many of us inadvertently choose a stressful, pressure-packed route to that destination. Why? Because we live in a culture that worships perfection.

Setting the bar high when you're aiming to inspire your kids is admirable. But when that bar is too far out of reach, your kids pay the price. Perfectionism can also rob you of the joyful parenting experiences that come with embracing the imperfect and the ordinary.

Don’t let perfection dictate how you parent. Turn your focus to enjoying life’s simpler parenting moments with these routine strategies:

RELATED: Sometimes Doing a Perfect Job Means Stopping at 60%

Replace perfectionism with excellence

My five-year journey with infertility was both physically and mentally draining. My tired body rode the emotional roller coaster of trying to get pregnant each month, and I spent countless hours absorbed deep in thought about the perfect parent I would be when I was finally given a chance.

My rose-colored glasses came off and my idyllic vision of parenting went from attaining perfection to humbly accepting good-enough.

This perfectionism stemmed from so desperately wanting to become a mom, coupled with vulnerably watching from the sidelines as friends and relatives raised their families. I envied and admired the gift they'd received by becoming parents. And I'll admit that at times I secretly judged them. How the heck could they allow their child to whine so much or let their three-year-old have lollipops during church? That wasn’t going to happen when I became a mom—no way!

Then, my dream came true when I had my first child. Then I had three more in less than four years! My rose-colored glasses quickly came off (probably pulled off by one of my whiny kids!) and my idyllic vision of parenting went from attaining perfection to humbly accepting good-enough.

An article in Psychology Today hit home with me. It reiterated what most parents already know—striving for perfection is destructive and infringes on your happiness. There needs to be a healthy balance when trying to achieve high standards. Here's what the author, Dr. Jim Taylor, had to say:

At the heart of perfectionism lies a threat: if children aren't perfect, their parents won't love them. This threat arises because children connect...

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