How to Avoid Common Thinking Traps - Part 1

How can we make the perfect balance between positive and negative thoughts?

That was a trick question. The way to a healthy mental experience is not to control our thoughts. If we try to manipulate our thoughts, we’re being dishonest with ourselves. Not only that but we’d also be fighting an exhausting battle, since the mind has a pretty strong will of its own.

The mind likes to worry, criticize, complain, doubt, regret, downplay, and generally bring us back down to earth.

Trying to put all of our inner experiences in rose-colored boxes often either doesn’t work or doesn’t last very long. The truth is, our thoughts are not always positive, and they shouldn’t be. To help us navigate the world and make sound decisions, we need a variety of thoughts, not just positive ones. Right next to the peppy “I can totally do a triathlon!” we also need the sobering “I won’t be able to unless I start training.”

The mind likes to worry, criticize, complain, doubt, regret, downplay, and generally bring us back down to earth. It sometimes even goes too far and keeps us mired in muddy, unhelpful swamps, and in those moments, we could use a positive lift.

Here's a better question to ask yourself: How can I gain better awareness of the tricks my thoughts play, and how do I get out of unhelpful thinking traps for better mental health and more successful living?

In this two-part series, we’ll look at a few of the most common thinking traps we all fall into.

Thinking trap #1: Black-and-white thinking

• "I bombed this presentation because I messed up the order of two important slides."
• "My friends have partners, so they're lovable. I'm single because I'm unlovable."
• "Your parents were perfect because they supported your dreams, but mine ruined my life because they didn’t let me go to art school."

Have you had thoughts like these? You certainly wouldn’t be alone. We're very good at making contrasts and comparisons. From a young age, we’re taught about the concept of being tall by comparing it with being short, and the concept of old by comparing it with young. No wonder we often draw all-or-nothing lines that put our situation in the “awful” box while others seem to be in the “awesome” box.

We're very good at making contrasts and comparisons. No wonder we often draw all-or-nothing lines that put our situation in the 'awful' box...

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