5 Types of Writing You’ll Encounter in College

In college, not only are students expected to write at a higher level, they’re also asked to use different writing styles to accomplish various tasks. For one class, you may be asked to write a persuasive essay, while for another you might find yourself writing a long research paper complete with a literature review. In order to feel equipped to complete these assignments, it can help to know what is expected in each writing style. Keep reading to learn five types of writing you’ll encounter in college.

College Writing Type #1: Expository Essay

The term "expository" stems from the purpose of exposing the facts on your subject of choice. This is informative writing in which you’ll provide a balanced portrayal of the facts. This will not be written with emotions or first-person observations. Instead, your essay will attempt to be objective and cite examples and figures to explain your topic. You may often see this type of writing on essay exams, because it can be a good way to test your retention of the course material.

For these essays, you’ll want to follow a structure with an introduction and thesis statement, supporting paragraphs in the body of the essay to back up your thesis, and a conclusion. This doesn’t mean you can’t use any creativity, but the main point of expository writing is to explain the facts at hand.

College Writing Type #2: Persuasive Essay

With this type of writing, your goal is to convince the reader of your point of view. This can take many forms—for example, you may be arguing in favor of a political stance or trying to explain the consequences of a historical event. While you’ll still need to base your argument on facts and research, this is different from expository writing because it aligns with a specific viewpoint or position. Typically, a persuasive essay will follow a similar format to an expository essay—an introduction, thesis statement, body, and conclusion—but you’ll craft your thesis statement with the intention of convincing the readers of your argument, rather than just informing them.

College Writing Type #3: Book or Article Review

This style of writing will require you to summarize key points of a text, but more importantly, provide critical analysis. The point is to make you think more deeply about the meaning of the text and how the...

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"Black Klansman" Ron Stallworth on His First Undercover Assignment

Immediately following my swearing-in ceremony and receiving my formal commission, I marched over to Arthur’s office and showed him my brand-new city certificate of employment and department identification card signifying my minutes-long status as a full-fledged cop. I then repeated my obnoxious declaration: “Now that I’m legal will you make me a narc?”

He laughed at my audacious persistence and said, “You need to put in at least two years in uniform before consideration. That’s just the rules.” 

Little did I know that my luck would change much more quickly.

For ten months I went about the business of being a patrolman: writing traffic citations, collaring drunks in public, investigating burglaries, robberies, domestic disputes, etc. It wasn’t exactly what you’d find on a TV police drama, but for me it was all new and exciting. I still hollered at Arthur each time I saw him with my call “Make me a narc,” and one day I got more than a smile and a shake of the head from him.

On that day Arthur asked me, “How’d you like to work an undercover assignment with us, Ron?”

As you can imagine, I didn’t hesitate. “Yes!”

Now was my time to prove my professional mettle to them, and it was to be against one of the foremost leaders of the civil rights movement, a man I had watched numerous times as a teenager on the late-night news agitating the system and provocatively confronting the forces I now represented.

“It’s Stokely Carmichael. The Black Panther leader is in town giving a speech. We’re concerned about the impact he might have. What he might say. We need a black person to go in because our white guys won’t fit in very well.”

Stokely Carmichael, later known as Kwame Ture, was the former prime minister of the Black Panther Party and an iconic contemporary member of the civil rights pantheon that included Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X. Carmichael belonged to and later became leader of the SNCC (Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee), which staged sit-in protests at white-owned businesses that refused service to black citizens in the South. He is the man commonly credited in 1966 with coining the term “Black Power”—the fist-pumping, chest-thumping revolutionary clarion call for black empowerment. The protests associated with the contemporary Black Lives Matter movement are direct descendants of Carmichael’s message.

Arthur explained to me that Stokely was contracted to give a speech at a club called Bell’s Nightingale. The Nightingale was frequented by blacks, with late-night dancing and live bands. Bell’s...

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Sleep Hygiene Doesn't Cure Insomnia—Do This Instead

Insomnia is one of the most frustrating experiences in our modern existence. You stare up at the ceiling (or worse, at the red numbers on a clock), mind buzzing with random thoughts, tossing and turning while everyone else snores away blissfully. It can really drive a person crazy!

Everyone has insomnia sometimes. Even though I’m a sleep expert (and I was lucky enough to be born with good sleep genes), I still sometimes toss and turn all night. And these occasional sleepless nights are totally fine. They just mean you're excited about something, or you have had one too many cups of coffee, or some other fluke stars aligned to make you unable to shut down for a night or two. All you have to do is ride it out, knowing you'll be back to your normal sleep routine soon.

Chronic insomnia can really disrupt your life. It puts a damper over your everyday mood and turns sleep into a chore instead of a relief.

But for many people, insomnia becomes chronic. If you’re having a really hard time falling or staying asleep a few times per week, and this has been going on for a few months, then we’re dealing with a different animal. Chronic insomnia can really disrupt your life. It puts a damper over your everyday mood and turns sleep into a chore instead of a relief.

If you don’t have chronic insomnia yourself, I bet you know someone who does. About one in ten adults have chronic insomnia by the strictest diagnostic criteria. But if you ask everyone visiting a primary care doctor, one in three will have it. In my own clinic, the average patient has had chronic insomnia for 15 years before finding their way to me because they didn’t know there were treatment options other than Ambien and sleep hygiene.

That’s because most doctors’ go-to for treating insomnia are Ambien (and other prescription sleep medications) and sleep hygiene. As a psychologist and not a medical doctor, it’s not my place to talk in-depth about medications. But I can talk to you about sleep hygiene.

Most doctors’ go-to for treating insomnia are Ambien (and other prescription sleep medications) and sleep hygiene.

I’m sure you’ve already heard some things about it. Here’s what the National Sleep Foundation recommends (slightly paraphrased): 

• Avoiding stimulants such as caffeine and nicotine close to bedtime
• Exercising, but not too close to bed time
• Steering clear of food that can be...

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What Are the Different Book Genres?

Writers often struggle with how exactly to describe their stories to other people. They may get asked, “What genre is your book?” and they get stumped trying to give a pithy answer to encompass an entire universe and cast of characters they had built up in their imaginations! Stories come in many different flavors, and some of those flavors are called genres.

The publishing industry finds categorizing books by genre particularly useful. Publishers typically assign a genre to a book: a book may be literary fiction, a mystery, space opera, or something else entirely. When you go into a bookstore, a library, or buy books online, books are often organized by genre. And you may also find it useful to figure out how to label your story this way. But first, let’s talk about what genre actually means.

How to define genre

When it comes to writing, the two common understandings of genre are often conflated. One definition of genre is that it is a writing format: fiction, non-fiction, poetry, play, graphic novel/comics, or screenplay. Genre by this definition doesn’t take into account the actual content of the story, just how a piece of writing is structured. The other definition of genre goes beyond its composition. Merriam-Webster in part defines genre as “characterized by a particular style, form, or content.” Genre is a set of expectations of what the story may be about. Narrative elements that help define a genre include:

• Setting: Is the story in today’s world? In futuristic space? In 1930s France?
• Characters: Are the characters “realistic” in the sense that they are people, animals, or things that could exist in our world? Are any of them magical? Are any of them supernatural?
• Tropes: Tropes are defined as common ideas, character types, or plot elements that occur in a given genre. For example, if your story has space ships, robots, or time travel, it just might be science fiction!
• Writing Style: This is where “genre as format” and “genre as content” overlap. The writer’s voice and the style of writing may also influence the book’s genre. Think about the difference between the detective mysteries of Raymond Chandler (who wrote “The Big Sleep”) and the literary fiction of Joyce Carol Oates (who wrote “We Were the Mulvaneys”), for instance. Both writers have a very distinguished writing style, but Chandler’s gritty and...

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'Fringe' or 'Bangs'?

Last week I mentioned my bangs, which are called “fringe” in British English, and a friend on LinkedIn who’s based in the UK, Chris Croft, asked why Americans call them bangs. And I have to admit…fringe makes more sense.

Fringe

According to Etymonline, the word “fringe” goes all the way back to the early 14th century and meant the same thing as it means today. Fringe is that decorative border material made of threads. And it looks a lot like the hair on my forehead.

Bangs

Around 1832, Americans started referring to horse tails cut straight across to look kind of like tassles as “bang-tails.” 

A few decades later, around 1878, we started using the word “bangs” to describe human hair that was cut straight across the forehead.

It could come from the idea of a bang as an abrupt noise, kind of like how the hairstyle is a little abrupt, or it could come from the idea of the quick cut that takes off the horses tail, that bangs it off.

That’s what I found. I still can’t tell you why Americans call them bangs instead of fringe, but that’s the evolution of the word, and I can tell you that I never in my life heard it called “fringe,” as an American, until I became interested in language.

Singular or Plural?

And that last sentence brought up an interesting thing I hadn’t noticed before. “Bangs” is plural, but “fringe” seems to be singular. I said, “Americans call THEM bangs,” but I said, “I’ve never heard IT called fringe.” Interesting. 

The Oxford English Dictionary does have some examples from the 1800s in which they’re called “fringes,” and in the U.S. we might say something like “My, that’s a heavy bang,” so I guess they both can be singular and plural, but we just commonly tend to use the words differently. That’s English for you!

Thanks for the question, Chris.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.

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9 Simple Dog-Washing Tips

How Often Should I Wash My Dog?

You can wash your dog every week if you want to, however, most dogs only need to be bathed once a month, or every time they seem dirty. You can’t overbathe a dog, but if you’re washing your dog every week and he doesn’t have an oily coat, or you’re washing him every few days, you may want to add a spoonful of olive oil to the shampoo and shake before applying to your dog. The olive oil will add some much-needed moisture into his coat and skin.

Can I Wash My Dog After Applying Flea Medication?

If you’ve just applied a flea medication like Frontline or K9 Advantix, you should wait for 24–48 hours before you let that part of his body get wet. These topical flea medications work in conjunction with your dog’s oil glands, and need a couple of days to sink in. Manufacturers like Frontline also recommend that if you dog swims a lot, you may need to reapply the flea medication more frequently.

Do I Need to Take My Dog’s Flea Collar Off Before I Wash Him?

If your dog wears a flea collar, it may be a good idea to take it off before you bathe him. However, most newfangled flea collars that emit chemicals over time, like Seresto, don’t need to be removed when your dog is under water or getting shampooed. (Hate the chemicals? Here are some all-natural ways to get rid of fleas and ticks.)

Can I Use Human Shampoo to Wash a Dog?

Don’t spend money on specially formulated dog shampoos—simply buy baby shampoo instead. It lifts oil and dirt from your dog’s coat while protecting their eyes, and contains almost the exact same ingredients as dog shampoos at a fraction of the cost.

How Do I Give My Dog a Bath Outdoors?

If your dog loves the hose, bathtime couldn’t be easier. Put on your dog’s leash and hold one end or affix to a fence or post, then hose him down! Some dogs, however, don’t like the forceful flow of the hose or the cold of the water. Try filling up a few empty milk jugs and letting them sit out for an hour before your dog’s bath. The water will warm up, and then you can use it to fill a watering can during your dog’s bath. Just like your plants, your dog will love its gentle sprinkle!

How Do I Wash My Dog in the Bathtub?

Washing your dog inside is all about...

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Should You Pay Down PMI or High-Interest Debt First?

Money Girl listener Danielle M. says:

I’ve been listening to your podcast for about five years now since I graduated from college. I greatly appreciate the tips and guidance you give to the community as a whole. Thank you for giving me the confidence and knowledge to build a solid financial foundation.

I recently purchased a home, which includes a PMI payment. I also have student loans and a small car loan. We have extra money every month to put toward our loans. I understand it’s best to pay down debt in order of the highest interest rate first. I’m wondering how to evaluate my mortgage since the interest rate doesn’t include PMI payments. Should I pay down my mortgage until the PMI is gone, or is it better to focus on my higher-rate student loans first?

Thanks for your great question, Danielle! Understanding where to put your extra money each month is incredibly important. In this post, I’ll explain what PMI is, the rules for eliminating it, and how to know when it should be your top financial priority.

What is Private Mortgage Insurance (PMI)?

If you take out a mortgage to buy a home or refinance an existing home loan, the last thing you want to hear is that you have to pay an additional charge, called private mortgage insurance or PMI. You might feel even worse when you find out that this insurance protects the lender, not you!

Borrowers have to shell out for PMI when they get a conventional mortgage but can’t put at least 20% down. The amount you borrow to buy a home is called the loan-to-value (LTV) ratio. For example, if you borrow $180,000 to buy a home valued at $200,000, you have a 90% LTV ($180,000 / $200,000 = 0.90)

Borrowers have to shell out for PMI when they get a conventional mortgage but can’t put at least 20% down.

When your LTV on a home mortgage is higher than 80%, lenders consider you to be a bigger risk than if you borrowed less. The lender mitigates that risk by requiring you to purchase PMI. The policy would cover a portion of their loss if you didn’t pay your mortgage and foreclosure proceeds don’t cover your outstanding loan balance.

However, there's a bright side to paying PMI. It makes it possible for many borrowers who can’t afford to put 20% down to buy a home. And it can be eliminated at certain LTV thresholds, which we’ll cover.  

What’s the cost of PMI?...

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Is Coffee Flour a New Fair Trade Nutritional Powerhouse?

Coffee flour isn't really a flour. And although it is from the coffee plant, it doesn't taste or smell anything like the roasted coffee beans we know and love. 

Coffee beans are actually seeds and, like many seeds, they grow inside a fruit. The fruit that surrounds a coffee bean is called a coffee cherry. After harvesting the coffee beans, the coffee cherry has traditionally been discarded. Billions of pounds of coffee fruit was simply discarded every year. But now this tasty part of the plant is being reclaimed as an edible crop. The cherries are dehydrated and ground into a fine powder and sold as coffee flour or coffee cherry flour. But it functions more like a spice or flavoring agent than a flour.

Coffee beans are actually seeds and, like many seeds, they grow inside a fruit. Now this fruit is being reclaimed as an edible crop.

You'll see coffee flour in stores that specialize in healthy foods, including some Trader Joes. Chefs, food bloggers, and even mixologists have taken interest and have been experimenting with it as an ingredient in drinks, baked goods, dips, and desserts. In an era when we are increasingly focused on reducing food waste, the idea of diverting perfectly good food out of the waste stream is very appealing. Coffee flour production is also providing a new source of income for people in developing countries.

What does it taste like?

Even though it's made from a fruit, coffee flour is not sweet. It is virtually sugar-free and fat-free. It has a slightly tart, slightly bitter taste, like fruity cocoa powder. You can add a tablespoon or two to a smoothie or your favorite chia seed pudding recipe. You can also add it to baked goods, replacing two tablespoons of every cup of flour with coffee powder. You'd certainly notice it if you added it to your pancake or pound cake recipe. You might not notice the difference in a brownie recipe. 

Coffee flour is virtually sugar-free and fat free.

But as one food blogger wrote, "Though the #wasteless angle reeled me in, it's the nutritional aspects that really sold me. ... The real reason I'd cook with coffee flour again is not for its flavor, but for the nutritional boost it offers."

And it is sometimes touted as a nutritional powerhouse. One website claims that coffee flour has more iron than fresh spinach, more protein than fresh kale, more potassium than a banana, and more fiber than whole grain wheat flour.

But this is a perfect example of how nutrition claims can be true but not meaningful. 

...

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8 Steps to Be a Savvy Couponer

Stick to Your Usual Shopping Habits

Coupons don’t actually save you money if you’re buying a product you wouldn’t normally buy or are buying a higher quantity than you will ever use before the item expires. Also make sure to check generic and other brands to see if they are still cheaper than the product you are buying with a coupon! A coupon that saves you 30¢ isn’t much good if the item is still 40¢ more expensive than the store brand.

Shop at Stores that Double Coupons

You can save big (twice as much, in fact) if you shop at a grocery store that doubles coupons—that is, offers you one dollar off for using a 50¢-off coupon. Unfortunately, these stores are few and far between in most states. Visit Couponing.about.com/od/groceryzone/a/doublecoupons.htm for a reader-generated list of stores that double. And if you find one, consider yourself lucky!

Myth Buster

If you’ve ever seen the common limitation “limit one per purchase” on a coupon, you may have thought that you could only use one of these coupons during a shopping trip. But that isn’t true! The limitation actually means that you can only use one of these coupons per item, not per trip. For example, if you’re buying five tubes of toothpaste and you have five identical coupons, you can use all of them. This is important to keep in mind if you find a great deal on a item you buy regularly. Get a second newspaper or have a friend save theirs, and you can now get double the discount! Then stockpile your items and save.

Print Double Coupons

If you print out coupons from sites like Coupons.com, here’s a secret you’ll want to know: You can print out just about all internet coupons two times from each computer. Just click your internet browser’s “Back” button, or go back to the site’s homepage and search for the coupon again. If you have more than one computer in your home, you can print two more coupons from that computer!

Trial-Sized Treasures

If you’re used to checking the “unit” prices of items at the grocery store, you know that buying the bigger size almost always means a better value. But when you have coupons,...

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Is 10,000 Really the Magical Number of Steps to Take Per Day?

There's a piece of fitness advice you've likely heard so many times by now that you assume it's scientific fact—you should strive to walk 10,000 steps every day. But where did that number come from? Are 10,000 steps really the ideal count to rack up on your pedometer daily?

When I think of this sage advice, I picture a smart group of scientists with a battery of test subjects, a bunch of treadmills, and more than one calculator. They're working feverishly to crack the code on how many steps we should all be taking per day to be healthy, fit, trim, and happy. Is that what you pictured too?

Dr. Yoshiro Hatano invented a pedometer in 1965 and named it "Manpo-kei," which translates to "10,000-step meter" in English.

Well, sadly, that's not an accurate picture. Instead, imagine a Don-Draper-style fellow in 1965 Japan doodling on a piece of paper trying to come up with a hook-y name for a new device. That device was a pedometer, invented by Dr. Yoshiro Hatano, who worked for a company called Yamesa in 1965. He (and the Japanese Mad Men who worked for Yamesa) named his new device Manpo-kei, which translates to “10,000-step meter” in English.

Now, before I throw poor Dr. Hatano under the bus, let me say this: I'm sure he wasn’t trying to perpetuate the greatest hoax ever pulled on the fitness community. He was simply trying to come up with a name for his device that would stick. And wow, did he ever succeed!

10,000 steps is a flawed fitness goal

I've said it before (in my article called 11 Common Exercise Excuses) and I'll say it again—I'm not a fan of the 10,000 step phenomenon. And not just because my vision of athletes and scientists working to crack the step-count code was dashed to pieces and replaced by an inventor looking for a catchy name.

There's nothing magical about the number 10,000, except that it roughly approximates 150 minutes of physical activity per week.

First, there's nothing magical about the number 10,000, except that it (perhaps accidentally) roughly approximates the 150 minutes of physical activity per week that your doctor may be hounding you about. Second, having that finite 10,000 step goal (or any finite step goal) gives us a reason to check "exercise" off our to-do list and hit the couch, even if we still have a spring in our step and a smile on our face and many hours of daylight left to enjoy.

No, I'm...

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How Listening Makes You Smarter, Faster, Better

From crawling to walking to uttering that first word, we develop our earliest skills by instinct. No one tells a baby to do these things. Babies just do.

But then babies morph into toddlers, and the walking and eating become less impressive. And suddenly, we adults all about telling them what to do. And what are toddlers told to do more than anything? Listen!

“Listen to me!”

“Be a good listener.”

“WHY AREN’T YOU LISTENING?!”

After enduring all that nagging in your youth, it should come as no surprise to you that sometimes your rebellious inner toddler doesn’t want to listen.

But listening—and I don’t just mean passively perceiving words and sounds but truly engaged listening—is one of the most powerful tools in your success toolbox. Listening, when done with purpose, makes you smarter, faster, better.

Smarter because you perceive more detail, more clarity, greater alignment on what needs to be achieved and addressed.

Faster because with greater clarity upfront you have less need to double back; and because listening builds empathy and rapport so you’ll have a more open door to pose questions.

Better because having clarity positions you to deliver what was asked for.

How to be a better listener at work

Listening well can serve you in many different ways—in building relationships, learning new skills, finding your next opportunity, and more. But for today’s episode, I’m going to focus on the power of listening in service of delivering a work product or outcome that will win you accolades every time.

So how can you demonstrate that brand of listening?  Here are some can’t-miss techniques.

1. Begin with intention

Great listening is not passive. Engaged listening requires your attention, focus, and conscious energy.  Establish a goal ahead of an important conversation and ready yourself to take in key facts, instructions, details, and opinions. And—this is key!—do this with the intent of receiving information, not responding to it.

Most successful listeners head into a conversation with a sense of what they want to learn and the intent to extract what’s essential to their goal.

In 2010, University of Ottawa researcher Larry Vandergrift published a study about listening for the purpose of learning. One of his findings was that the most successful listeners...

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How Long Would It Take to Fall Through the Earth?

As children growing up in the US, we often made attempts to “dig to China.” If we could just have a little more time on the playground or out in the backyard, maybe, just maybe, we could dig a hole deep enough that it would take us all the way to the other side of the Earth. We always hoped there were Chinese children on the other side digging to get to us, and we didn’t want to let them down. 

If my childhood self had known what I know now, I wouldn't have gotten my hopes up. Now I know the deepest hole ever dug is the Kola Superdeep Borehole at 7.5 miles underground—less than 0.2 percent of the Earth’s radius. And it took a hugely impressive feat of engineering to get there. Another big snag in the grand Dig-to-China plan is that the antipode of the US—that’s the spot directly opposite us on the globe—was actually somewhere in the Indian Ocean off the southeastern coast of Africa.

As children growing up in the US, we often made attempts to 'dig to China.' If my childhood self had known what I know now, I wouldn't have gotten my hopes up.

China and the US are often held up as cultural opposites, so it is possible the phrase “digging to China” was born less out of actual geography and more from a mix of ignorance and orientalism. The physical antipodes for China are better located in Chile and Argentina than anywhere in the northern hemisphere.

Want to know where your antipode is? Enter your location on this map.

But what if we had been able to make significant progress on our dig through to the other side of the Earth? I’m not sure what we were expecting. Some kind of slide? a chute all the way through? Well, it turns out physicists have thought about this problem.

What is a gravity train?

A tunnel stretching from one side of the Earth to the other, and passing through the center, is known as a gravity train. That's because you’d be letting gravity do the work of carrying you through it.

For the first half of the trip, the gravity of the Earth below pulls you down, converting all that potential energy you had standing at the surface of the Earth into kinetic energy or speed. Once you pass through the center, you gain enough speed to overcome the gravity that would otherwise pull you back down. Instead, you'd keep on moving toward the surface on the other side. It would be kind of like you were falling up.

When you get to the opposing surface, you’ll fall back down again, doomed to repeat your journey over and...

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Perfect Families Don't Exist—How to Be Good Enough

Regardless of parenting style, we parents have one goal in common—raising successful, independent children who will make a positive difference in the world. But many of us inadvertently choose a stressful, pressure-packed route to that destination. Why? Because we live in a culture that worships perfection.

Setting the bar high when you're aiming to inspire your kids is admirable. But when that bar is too far out of reach, your kids pay the price. Perfectionism can also rob you of the joyful parenting experiences that come with embracing the imperfect and the ordinary.

Don’t let perfection dictate how you parent. Turn your focus to enjoying life’s simpler parenting moments with these routine strategies:

RELATED: Sometimes Doing a Perfect Job Means Stopping at 60%

Replace perfectionism with excellence

My five-year journey with infertility was both physically and mentally draining. My tired body rode the emotional roller coaster of trying to get pregnant each month, and I spent countless hours absorbed deep in thought about the perfect parent I would be when I was finally given a chance.

My rose-colored glasses came off and my idyllic vision of parenting went from attaining perfection to humbly accepting good-enough.

This perfectionism stemmed from so desperately wanting to become a mom, coupled with vulnerably watching from the sidelines as friends and relatives raised their families. I envied and admired the gift they'd received by becoming parents. And I'll admit that at times I secretly judged them. How the heck could they allow their child to whine so much or let their three-year-old have lollipops during church? That wasn’t going to happen when I became a mom—no way!

Then, my dream came true when I had my first child. Then I had three more in less than four years! My rose-colored glasses quickly came off (probably pulled off by one of my whiny kids!) and my idyllic vision of parenting went from attaining perfection to humbly accepting good-enough.

An article in Psychology Today hit home with me. It reiterated what most parents already know—striving for perfection is destructive and infringes on your happiness. There needs to be a healthy balance when trying to achieve high standards. Here's what the author, Dr. Jim Taylor, had to say:

At the heart of perfectionism lies a threat: if children aren't perfect, their parents won't love them. This threat arises because children connect...

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How to Recognize and Avoid Common Thinking Traps - Part 2

Do you remember the last time you went down a rabbit hole with worry, tumbling down and down until it felt like all was hopeless and unfair? I do! It’s a situation we all find ourselves in from time to time. Our brains are designed to look for problems and anticipate threats. We can’t blame them for sometimes going overboard.

In part one of this two-part series on thinking traps, we talked about three unhelpful (but all too common) patterns our thoughts can fall into:

• Black-and-white thinking. You see things as one way or the other with no shades of gray.
• Jumping to conclusions. You convince yourself that something is true despite any evidence.
• Mental filter. You only look for evidence that supports your beliefs. 

You can stop struggling and find balance if you learn to catch yourself when you start forgetting about middle grounds, time-traveling and mind-reading, or acting like an over-zealous defense lawyer.

In Part 2, let’s look at three more common thinking traps that keep us hooked to the struggle:

Trap #4: Emotional reasoning

• "I feel so embarrassed. I must have made a fool of myself."
• "My hands are shaking, and my stomach is in knots. I must be totally not ready for this conversation."
• "I feel so 'blah' about this project. It’s probably not worth pursuing."

Our emotions are powerful guides. A sense of foreboding can warn us of danger, a burst of joy can reaffirm a relationship, and sadness can tell us where our spiritual priorities lie. But sometimes we end up reading too much into emotions, imbuing them with more meaning than they were supposed to convey.

For example, just because you feel embarrassed doesn’t mean you actually made a fool of yourself. We often judge ourselves more harshly than others do. Stuttering a line in the wedding toast or making a conversational faux pas with a stranger might send heat rushing to your cheeks. That automatic response reflects your body’s knee-jerk reaction and not necessarily your brain’s careful consideration of the facts. So, just because you feel embarrassed doesn’t mean you actually did something embarrassing.

Sometimes we end up reading too much into emotions, imbuing them with more meaning than they were supposed to convey.

It’s a similar story with other emotions and situations. Just because you don’t feel excited about starting a new project at work doesn’t mean it’s not a meaningful one. It’s worth listening to your...

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Why Do We ‘Drive Home’ but ‘Drive TO Work’?

A friend on Twitter asked if we have ever done an episode on why you need the word “to” in phrases like “drive to work” but you don’t need it in phrases like “drive home.” He wrote, “I don’t know why the ‘to’ is in there, but it sounds odd not to include it or include it as the case may be.”

When we say, “I'm driving to the house,” “house” functions as a noun indicating a specific place. But when we say, “I'm driving home,” “home” functions as an adverb of place, similar to the adverb “homeward.” Compare “I'm driving to school” or “to the mall,” or “to my job” with “I'm driving well,” I’m driving carefully,” “I’m driving north…forward…up…there,” and so on.

The first set of examples are all place nouns (“school,” “the mall,” “my job”), while the second set are all adverbs of place or direction (“carefully,” “north,” and so on). 

This is also true of other transport verbs like “to go”: “I am going to school, “to the mall,” “to my job,” versus “I am going quickly,” “I am going forward,” and “I am going soon.” With “to go,” we can also attach an adverb of place instead of a noun: “I am going home,” “I am going north,” “I am going there.”

You’ll notice another little quirk related to transport verbs when you compare American English and British English. We’ve talked about this before, so you may remember that the British go to hospital, while Americans go to “the” hospital; the British go to university while Americans go to the university or a university. Both British and American speakers can either go to the school or just go to school. 

The difference here is whether you are talking about the general concept or idea of hospitals or schools, or about a specific hospital or school. In other words, you might say, “I go to school” in a general sense, meaning you haven’t graduated yet. Similarly, speakers of British English will say, “I need to go to hospital” to indicate that they require medical attention — if they say, “I’m going to the hospital,” that usually means they are visiting a specific hospital for a reason other than getting treatment — for example, to visit someone or take care of an administrative task. It’s kind of like the difference in American English between...

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What Does ‛Mardi Gras’ Mean?

It’s the end of February, which means Mardi Gras is almost here! When we think of Mardi Gras, we picture parties, parades, and beads. But did you ever wonder what “Mardi Gras” means?

Mardi Gras Kicks Off Lent

The first thing to know about Mardi Gras is that it kicks off the Christian season of Lent. That’s the time when people prepare for Easter, the holiday that celebrates the resurrection of Christ.

In Western churches, Lent begins six-and-a-half weeks before Easter on what’s known as Ash Wednesday. On this solemn day, Christians are asked to reflect on their mortality and their need to reconcile with god.

They are also asked to begin fasting — and to fast for the next 40 days.

Nowadays, that might mean  giving up wine or candy. 

But in the early days of the church, fasting was pretty hard core. You could only eat one meal a day, and that had to be in the evening. You couldn’t eat eggs, butter, meat, or fish. In some places, you couldn’t have oil, wine, or any other type of dairy.

Knowing this period of fasting was coming up, people naturally tried to use up any of these foods they had on hand before Lent began. Especially because there wasn’t refrigeration back then.

That leads us back to Mardi Gras.

'Mardi Gras' Means 'Fat Tuesday'

In French, “Mardi Gras” means “Fat Tuesday.” In other words, it’s the day when people try to literally use up all the fats in their house before Ash Wednesday begins. 

If you’re a regular listener or reader, you will remember that just a couple of weeks ago we talked about the origin of the names of the days of the week, and in Roman times, Tuesday was “dies Martis,” with directly led to the French and Spanish words we use for Tuesday today.

Mardi Gras Started as a Way to Get Rid of Food Before the Time of Fasting

Over time, this practical act turned into a celebration. You can see how. If you had to get rid of all the ice cream, frozen pizzas, and potato chips in your house, you’d probably throw a party too.

And so the Mardi Gras carnival was born, the feasts and...

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6 All-Natural Beauty Hacks

These home remedy secrets will have you looking your best without expensive products or time-consuming routines.

1. Sweet and Simple Solution

Send chapped lips packing with coconut oil! Mix a bit of the oil with a dab of brown sugar and honey. Apply the mixture with a soft toothbrush and then use a circular motion to lightly exfoliate your lips. Let your lips enjoy the treatment for a few minutes, then rinse off.

2. Ditch Dark Circles

Dark, saggy rings under your eyes? A handful of fresh parsley with its vitamins C and K can do the trick. In a bowl, crush and grind the leaves with a spoon to release the juices. Pour one tablespoon hot water over the parsley and stir. When cool, dab the liquid goodness onto the dark skin beneath your eyes with a cotton ball. Let it sit for about 15 minutes, and rinse.

3. Get Fuller Lashes While You Sleep

Just as you can condition your hair, you can condition your eyelashes. The best all-natural conditioners are oils: almond, castor, or coconut oil. You can simply apply the oil of your choice with a cotton ball at the base of your lashes before bed. Or use a clean mascara wand to apply a mixture of two parts vitamin E oil, one part castor oil, and one part 100% pure aloe vera gel. Rinse off and reveal healthier lashes in the morning! Want full brows as well? The recipe works for them, too.

4. Give Mascara a Boost

Sneak two drops of lavender, rosemary, or tea tree oil into your mascara to boost its conditioning power. Rolling the tube and moving the mascara wand up and down will mix in the oil. So simple!

5. Natural Makeup Remover

For a gentle way to remove mascara, eyeliner, and shadow, try coconut oil. It works just as well as eye makeup remover but is useful in so many other ways—so you get the most for your money. Plus, it’s moisturizing! Dab a small amount on a tissue or cotton ball, rub over closed eyes, and rinse with water.

6. Discover a Natural Highlighter

Fancy highlighter kits can be pricey and complicated. (What goes where?!) A simple solution to get a dewy glow: coconut oil. Dab a bit along your cheekbones—it lightens just like a highlighter. No special brushes or YouTube tutorials required!

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The Origin of the Orc

Nowadays, you say the word "orc" and it immediately conjures an image based on your media experiences.  Perhaps you see the hulking green-skinned barbarians of "Warhammer" fame, or the misunderstood Noble Savages of "Elder Scrolls;" maybe your vision of the orc is the pig-snouted monsters made famous by artist David C. Sutherland III for "Dungeons & Dragons."  Or, like me, you speak the word and in your mind’s eye you see a horde of bestial creatures enslaved to a Dark Lord, as personified by (and, indeed, originating with) the works of English scholar and author J.R.R. Tolkien.  And Tolkien is undoubtedly the founder of this particular feast.  The orc as we know it came into being in the early 20th century, as the faceless minions of Tolkien’s original dark lord, Melkor, in the writings that would become "The Silmarillion."

Despite serving as their creator, orcs occupy hardly any time on the pages of Tolkien’s seminal trilogy, "The Lord of the Rings."  The narrative goes on for more than 300 pages before we see the first orc, a great chieftain in Moria; after that, we see them again in three chapters and meet only a dozen or so named orc characters, often in passing.  Nevertheless, something about these foot-soldiers of evil struck a chord with readers.  After the success of "The Lord of the Rings" in the 1960s, orcs became eponymous as cannon-fodder; a race of disposable, faceless mooks.  They migrated into the nascent tabletop role-playing game hobby via "Dungeons & Dragons" (1974) and then into video games and other media.

Along the way, a strange thing happened.  Other writers took it upon themselves to liberate orcs from their status as lowly minions.

Along the way, a strange thing happened.  Other writers took it upon themselves to liberate orcs from their status as lowly minions.  While they took center stage in Mary Gentle’s 1992 satirical fantasy novel, "Grunts," it was British author Stan Nicholls who properly launched the “Orcish renaissance” with the 1999 publication of "Bodyguard of Lightning," the first book in his "Orcs: First Blood" trilogy.  In the twenty-one years since, orcs have grown beyond the role set forth by their creator to become protagonists in their own right.

So, we know what they are, but where did Tolkien find the word "orc"?  Like much of what makes up the good Professor’s expansive legendarium, Tolkien did not so much invent the word as he did merely repurpose it.  Indeed, it hails from Old...

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5 Effective Ways to Get a Loan with Bad Credit

If you've had the wind knocked out of your credit scores due to financial problems, or because you’re struggling to build credit for the first time, it can be challenging to get a loan. It’s critical to understand the factors that affect your credit and how to build it. You might be surprised to learn that you have more options than you think. I’ll give you five ways to find a loan, even with bad credit.

Having bad credit or no credit is a major stumbling block to getting a traditional loan.

Having bad credit or no credit is a major stumbling block to getting a traditional loan. Lenders view you as a high-risk customer who might not repay them. It’s just a fact that until you raise your credit scores, you won’t fit standard lending guidelines that traditional big banks have to follow.

Factors that affect your credit scores

A common credit misconception is that you only have one credit score. Although FICO is probably the most well-known type of score, there are hundreds of different credit scoring models used by mortgage lenders, credit card issuers, insurers, and merchants. There are even multiple types and versions of FICO scores.

Credit scoring models use algorithms to crunch the data in your credit reports, which are maintained by several nationwide credit bureaus, including Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion. Here are ranges for some popular credit scores:

• FICO Auto Score: 250 to 900
• FICO Mortgage Score: 300 to 850
• TransUnion: 300 to 850
• VantageScore: 501 to 990

In addition to assigning different score ranges, credit scoring models emphasize different factors. For instance, having a missed payment on an auto loan might be weighted more heavily when factored into an auto-scoring model.

The exact formulas of credit scoring models are proprietary. However, FICO says they use the following factors and weights as a baseline for their credit scores.

• Payment history (35%). A record of late payments, accounts in collections, and bankruptcies. This is the top-ranking factor.
  
  Takeaway: Making payments on time is a critical factor for maintaining high credit scores.
   
• Amounts owed (30%). Your debt compared to your available credit, which is known as credit utilization.
  
  Takeaway: Using a smaller percentage of available credit you have on credit cards and lines of credit boosts your credit scores.
   
• Age of credit history (15%). How long you...

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How to Fight PCOS with Diet and Nutrition

Nutrition Diva listener Angie writes:

I was recently diagnosed with PCOS and I've been trying to learn about it. There seems to be a lot of confusing advice out there and a few sources suggest that a healthy diet for someone with PCOS is different than a healthy diet for someone without this condition. Is this true?

What is Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS)?

Unfortunately, Angie, you've got plenty of company. Polycystic ovarian syndrome, or PCOS, is a condition that affects up to 1 in 10 women of child-bearing age. In a nutshell, PCOS is characterized by hormonal imbalances, involving not just the reproductive hormones (like estrogen and testosterone) but also hormones that regulate blood sugar, fat storage, and appetite.

Symptoms of PCOS may include painful or irregular periods, acne, abnormal hair growth, increased appetite, weight gain, and difficulty losing weight. Women with PCOS often develop metabolic syndrome, which increases your risk of heart disease and diabetes. And the reverse is also true: Women with metabolic syndrome are more likely to develop PCOS. PCOS is also a leading cause of infertility.

PCOS is strongly linked with obesity—and as obesity levels have risen, PCOS has become a more common diagnosis. But there are also lean women who suffer from PCOS. Almost all women with PCOS, however, have some degree of insulin resistance, which is also known as pre-diabetes.

RELATED: What is High Glucose?

The first-line therapy for PCOS is a diet and lifestyle makeover with the primary goal of improving the body’s sensitivity to insulin. Here are 3 ways to start on a virtuous path.

3 ways to improve insulin sensitivity and alleviate PCOS symptoms

Tip #1: Lose weight (if you need to)

Weight loss improves insulin sensitivity and you don’t necessarily have to reach your goal weight to get this benefit. Even a modest amount of weight loss can begin to reverse symptoms of PCOS. For example, if you are 50 pounds overweight, losing 10 pounds can make a big difference in your PCOS symptoms, even though you might still be significantly overweight.

Above all, you want to lose weight at a pace you can maintain long-term....

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4 Surprising Ways to Get Rid of Static Cling

Static Electricity Solution

One easy way to remove static cling is to run the long part of a wire hanger over the garment. If you’ve suffered any skirt-stuck-to-pantyhose embarrassment, run the hanger between your skirt and the pantyhose. 

Lotion for Static Cling

Another cure for static cling? Lotion. Rub just a dab on your legs and the static will be gone! It even works if you’re wearing pantyhose. Just rub the lotion right on the pantyhose to keep static cling away all night long.

Great Use for Old Batteries

Slinky skirt grabbing your pantyhose and won’t let go? Solve this annoyance with an unlikely household hero: a battery! Rub the positive end of a battery over your skirt and hose. (If this happens to you a lot, you can just keep a AAA battery in your purse!) The battery releases positively charged ions that neutralize the negative ones that cause static cling. Bada-bing, no more static cling!

Get Rid of Static Before You Leave the House

The next time your skirt or slip stick to your pantyhose due to static electricity, try this tip: just spritz a little hair spray on your nylons and they’ll not only be free of static, they’ll be less likely to run.

Did these tricks work for you? Let us know in the comments below or on the Who Knew? Facebook page!

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.

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Five Smart and Easy Ways to Save Your Family Money

Setting financial goals for your family can be exciting and overwhelming. It’s empowering to work towards saving for your family’s dream vacation or eliminating debt such as a car payment, but when your family budget is already tight, finding ways to improve your finances can seem daunting.

Good news! There are everyday ways that you can implement into your family’s lifestyle that can help you save money. Here are a few easy strategies that will prove fruitful for both your home and your bank account.

1. Clean out your fridge and freezer each week

Before you roll your eyes at this suggestion, let me explain. Research shows that people in US households toss out a staggering 150,000 tons of food each day! The average American family of four spending $ $10,995 per year on food. A considerable amount of waste could be prevented if we commited to monitoring foods like produce, dairy, and meat and using them before they go bad.

Schedule a day once a week (the day before or day you plan to grocery shop is ideal) and take inventory of what groceries you still have available to prepare family meals. This allows you to take advantage of a slightly bruised zucchini and end-of-package cheese slices that you can turn into a delicious quiche for dinner rather than spending a small chunk-of-change on takeout pizza. Don’t forget the freezer. Those frozen drumsticks can be thawed and marinated for tomorrow’s Sunday dinner along with that bag of red bliss potatoes that have been sitting on your counter for weeks now.

A considerable amount of waste could be prevented if we commited to monitoring foods and using them before they go bad.

Make this a weekly habit and not only will you be able to serve your family tasty dishes, you can put the money you save toward something meaningful for your family.

2. Review your family’s monthly subscriptions

It’s the little things in life that can truly make a difference! That goes for those small, innocent payments you make each month for our family’s entertainment—Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, gym memberships, music streaming services, Dollar Shave Club, and so many more.

List all your family’s subscriptions and see what your monthly total is. Decide which ones really make a difference for your family and then look at trimming the rest. You might be surprised to find out how much money you're spending on subscriptions you rarely (if ever) use!

3. Commit to decluttering your surroundings

A home...

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How to Use Traveling Rings to Keep Fitness Fun

Traveling rings are a fitness apparatus that usually has five to ten aluminum or wooden rings suspended from chains or rope. The ropes are then spaced a few feet apart and attached to a strong steel support beam that looks a lot like a large children’s swing set. All of this is set up in a way that allows users to travel from one ring to the next using a combination of arm pulls, leg swings, twirls, swoops and any number of Spiderman-esque or dance-like movements.

When I say dance-like, I really mean it. If you haven’t seen this in action, check out some videos. People, both young and old alike, can be seen gracefully soaring through the air on these rings. Some look like trapeze artists while others look like Olympic athletes, but all of them look like they are having the time of their life.

As I will get into later, the traveling rings have been around since approximately 1860, but Muscle Beach (in Santa Monica, California) is credited with making them popular in the 1970s. Since then, this sport has grown and blossomed in cities all around the world. 

Due to the lack of rules in this sport (or more accurately, this art), the styles used on the rings are as individual and creative as the person performing them. Which makes it as fun to do as it is to watch. 

Fitness and fun

One of the first things I noticed when I started researching this traveling rings was how much fun everyone was having. In the videos I watched of people swinging, twirling, and dangling, the default setting for this activity seems to involve a lot of laughing and grinning. Even the name this community has given itself, Ringers, is fun and playful. And to me, that is one of the most important, and all too often overlooked, aspects of fitness—it should be fun!

To me, that is one of the most important, and all too often overlooked, aspects of fitness—it should be fun!

Sure, there are times when you might struggle to find the fun in your fitness routine, especially if you're training hard. But overall, your regimen should be fun instead of feeling like some gross medicine you take only in the hopes of getting healthier. To be truly healthful, not to mention sustainable, your fitness program should bring you joy. If yours feels like something you have to force yourself to endure, look for a different program.

If you don’t enjoy running, go for a walk. If you don’t like lifting weights, try resistance bands. If you don’t like going to the...

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How to Love Your Job (Even When It Isn't Perfect)

I can still picture the look on my Baby Boomer mother’s face the first time I posed a work-related existential question. Was she happy in her career? Was it fulfilling and purposeful? Her response, the blankest of stares, told me all I needed to know. Purpose and fulfillment were things you found off the clock. And work was work—a paycheck and a means to an end.

As a younger Gen-Exer with some Millennial tendencies, I understand why the question confused my mother. But I’m part of the tribe seeking something more from my career than a paycheck. (Though I do love the paycheck.) Work commands a lot of my time, energy, and attention. I want to do what I love and love what I do. Not every minute of every day, but on balance.

I’m part of the tribe seeking something more from my career than a paycheck. Though I do love the paycheck.

I’ve learned that finding job-love isn’t passive. It’s not about luck. It requires us to take an active role in making it happen for ourselves. So, if we want work to fuel more than just our bank accounts, what’s our responsibility?

How to love your job

When I’m coaching someone looking to bump up the pleasure-levels in their work, here are some of the gems we cover.

Follow the thread to impact

Yale Professor Amy Wrzesniewski has done a great deal of research to understand why some people love their jobs and others don’t. Specifically, she spent time with hospital staffs and learned that some janitors considered their work to be a slog of clocking in, cleaning, and clocking out while others expressed a sense of pride in and commitment to the exact same work.

She interviewed some janitors to understand how people doing the same work could have such different experiences. She discovered that those who loved their jobs described their work in terms of impact. These contented janitors didn’t speak of mopping halls and stripping beds. They described maintaining a sanitary space in which patients could heal, and babies could safely be born.

Hospital janitors who could see the clear connection between their daily efforts and patient outcomes were able to extract more meaning and pleasure from their work.

Everyone she interviewed had the same responsibilities on paper. But the ones who could see the clear connection between their daily efforts and patient outcomes were able to extract more meaning and pleasure from their work.

Now you may not work in a hospital, and your work may not be contributing to life or death outcomes, but there is a human person somewhere at the end of the...

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Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse! Is a Familiar Star About to Explode?

We think of the night sky as reliable and unchanging. The sun sets every evening revealing the same stars found in familiar patterns throughout the year. Those patterns are so predictable, in fact, that we use them to orient ourselves here on Earth. This steadiness is a result of the timescales required for any particular step in the stellar evolution process. It takes millions, even billions, of years for stars to live out their lives. In our lifetimes, we see only a snapshot of their life story. From the star’s perspective, we are but a tiny blip in the timeline. 

When a star changes on timescales we can actually observe, this change is big news. That's why all eyes are on Betelgeuse.

So when a star changes on timescales we can actually observe, this change is big news. And that's why right now, all eyes are on Betelgeuse. I'll tell you more in a moment.

What is Betelgeuse?

Betelgeuse is what is known as a red super giant star. This is what most stars, including our Sun, will eventually become as they near the ends of their lives. Betelgeuse is only 8 million years young, which makes it a relative baby compared to our 4.5 billion-year-old sun. So why is it facing down stellar death?

Stars spend most of their lives fighting back against gravitational collapse by converting mass into energy via nuclear fusion. Bigger, more massive stars have more fuel for this fusion but they also burn through that fuel much faster. Think of a Chevy Silverado with its 36-gallon gas tank compared to a Toyota Prius that holds 12 gallons. The Chevy has more fuel to start off, but you’ll still have to fuel up sooner in the Chevy because it uses that fuel faster. Betelgeuse is over ten times the mass of our sun so it has ten times the fuel to start with, but it also has a luminosity of 140,000 the times of our sun, which means it burns through that fuel 140,000 times faster.

If we were to plunk Betelgeuse down in our solar system in place of our sun, the giant star would swallow Mercury, Venus, Earth, and Mars.

When a star uses up all of its fuel for nuclear fusion, its outer layers begin to expand. The star becomes larger (hence the “giant” in its name). Betelgeuse, in particular, is 1,400 times larger than the sun. If we were to plunk Betelgeuse down in our solar system in place of our sun, the giant star would swallow Mercury, Venus, Earth, and Mars. The outer edges of its surface would even tickle Jupiter in its...

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7 Meaningful Ways to Build an Unbreakable Mother-Daughter Relationship

The mother-daughter connection is like none other. It’s an intense, special bond that is instrumental in the lives of both. Sadly, it can also be complex, challenging, and even toxic. A dysfunctional mother-daughter relationship can adversely affect both parties for the rest of their lives.

If you're struggling to reap a fulfilling bond with your daughter, here are some loving ways to connect and stay strong.

Remember to have a great relationship with yourself

When you're trying to improve your connection with other people, it’s easy to focus on the negative behaviors and habits of the person you seek to change. Have you noticed that when you’re in conflict with someone you automatically analyze their shortcomings and annoying habits? There’s no way you’d snap your gum as loudly as that know-it-all PTA mom, right?

If you want to connect with people wholeheartedly, you need to accept yourself wholeheartedly first. And that's especially true if you want to build a better relationship with your daughter.

If you want to connect with people wholeheartedly, you need to accept yourself wholeheartedly first.

Before you attempt to repair or strengthen your mother-daughter relationship, do some soul-searching. Honestly assess how you feel about yourself. What are your goals and values? How’s your self-esteem and self-care? Do you take time to nurture your own mind, body, and soul?

As busy mothers, we can easily forget our own needs. That can lead to feelings of resentment and negativity. PsychCentral’s article How to Build a Healthy Relationship with Yourself Every Day offers some helpful tips to cultivate a loving sense of self. Personal life coach Stephanie Kang recommends tuning in to our inner chatter as a way to stay true to ourselves.

Starting to notice this is a great first step because it is often so unconscious. ... Once we become more aware of how we relate to ourselves, we can reflect on what effect it’s having, and how we want to change.

Stephanie Kang

RELATED: 5 Ways That ‘Selfish Parenting’ Can Benefit Your Family

Encourage and develop your daughter’s emotional education

The first step toward strengthening your child’s ability to manage strong relationship emotions is to teach her to identify and understand them. Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify...

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How to Avoid Common Thinking Traps - Part 1

How can we make the perfect balance between positive and negative thoughts?

That was a trick question. The way to a healthy mental experience is not to control our thoughts. If we try to manipulate our thoughts, we’re being dishonest with ourselves. Not only that but we’d also be fighting an exhausting battle, since the mind has a pretty strong will of its own.

The mind likes to worry, criticize, complain, doubt, regret, downplay, and generally bring us back down to earth.

Trying to put all of our inner experiences in rose-colored boxes often either doesn’t work or doesn’t last very long. The truth is, our thoughts are not always positive, and they shouldn’t be. To help us navigate the world and make sound decisions, we need a variety of thoughts, not just positive ones. Right next to the peppy “I can totally do a triathlon!” we also need the sobering “I won’t be able to unless I start training.”

The mind likes to worry, criticize, complain, doubt, regret, downplay, and generally bring us back down to earth. It sometimes even goes too far and keeps us mired in muddy, unhelpful swamps, and in those moments, we could use a positive lift.

Here's a better question to ask yourself: How can I gain better awareness of the tricks my thoughts play, and how do I get out of unhelpful thinking traps for better mental health and more successful living?

In this two-part series, we’ll look at a few of the most common thinking traps we all fall into.

Thinking trap #1: Black-and-white thinking

• "I bombed this presentation because I messed up the order of two important slides."
• "My friends have partners, so they're lovable. I'm single because I'm unlovable."
• "Your parents were perfect because they supported your dreams, but mine ruined my life because they didn’t let me go to art school."

Have you had thoughts like these? You certainly wouldn’t be alone. We're very good at making contrasts and comparisons. From a young age, we’re taught about the concept of being tall by comparing it with being short, and the concept of old by comparing it with young. No wonder we often draw all-or-nothing lines that put our situation in the “awful” box while others seem to be in the “awesome” box.

We're very good at making contrasts and comparisons. No wonder we often draw all-or-nothing lines that put our situation in the 'awful' box...

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Why 'XOXO' Means 'Hugs and Kisses'

If you want to try something fun this Valentine’s Day, type “XOXO” into a Facebook comment. It’s shorthand for “hugs and kisses,” and the text becomes highlighted, and if you click on it, little animated hearts float up on the screen.

But how did “XOXO” come to mean “hugs and kisses”?

Well, the truth is that nobody is absolutely sure. 

Let’s talk about the X first.

Why is an X a kiss?

The earliest citation for X as a kiss in the Oxford English Dictionary is from 1763, and the highly quotable Winston Churchill used it in 1894, but he also felt the need to define it. He signed a letter

(Many kisses.) xxx

One theory is that if you use your imagination, an X looks like two people kissing, like a mouth on the left (>) meeting a mouth on the right (<) to create the complete X.

There’s also a religious theory. The letter X has been a symbol for Christ since the time of the Greeks because it’s the first letter of the Greek word for Christ, “Christos.” (ΧΡΙΣΤΟΣ) 

And as I wrote about a few years ago, that’s why you shouldn’t get upset about people writing “Xmas” for “Christmas.”

As the book “Kiss and Tell” says, “In the days of early Christianity,  when most humans didn’t know how to write, people would sign important documents … with an X instead of a signature. The X pulled double duty, symbolizing Christ’s cross, as well as his name … The signer would then kiss the document as an oath of sincerity.” So the theory is that through this act, kissing an X, the X became associated with kissing. 

I find that theory less convincing since, at least according to the OED, it seems like using the X to symbolize a kiss is a lot more recent than early Christian times, but it’s still an interesting bit of history.

Why is an O a hug?

Using an O to symbolize a hug is much newer, at least according to the OED, which shows the first use in 1948. The O also seems to be used to symbolize a hug only in combination with an X—never alone.

The theories about why an O symbolizes a hug seem even more made up than those for the X.

People say that maybe it looks like arms circling something in a hug. Or that Jewish immigrants used the O to sign documents much like Christians used the X. 

I’ve never seen anyone else talk about this idea, but I wonder if it comes from tic-tac-toe. That game uses X’s and O’s, so the two symbols go together in many people’s minds. If an...

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10 Thoughtful Valentine’s Day Gifts That Are Practically Free

Love Notes

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be expensive. Sometimes, showing your sweetheart you love them is as easy as telling them so. Write a quick love message on a post-it note and leave it where your husband or wife will see it first thing in the morning, like on the bathroom mirror. Better yet, write lots of post-its and leave all over the house, even in unexpected places.

Mix Tape Love

Even if you haven’t made someone a mix tape since high school, handpicked tunes are a great, free Valentine’s treat. Make a custom, romantic playlist to show your boyfriend or girlfriend you care! If music isn’t your thing, photocopy some of your favorite short stories or poems to present to your loved one as a “literary playlist.”

Make Breakfast in Bed

It’s a classic for a reason: Instead of worrying all day about how to make the perfect romantic dinner for your valentine, try breakfast in bed and get a whole day’s worth of credit for it. A flower, a chocolate, and a heart shaped placemat are all you need to make eggs, toast, and a fruit bowl look especially festive.

Lunch Is for Lovers, Too!

This is the most expensive item on this list, but it still doesn’t have to cost a lot. If your boyfriend or girlfriend really wants to eat out on Valentine’s Day, consider meeting during work for a romantic lunch. It will be a treat to see each other during the day, and lunch menus are less expensive than dinner ones. 

Make a Balloon Canopy Bed

Celebrate your relationship by making a balloon display above your bed. Get one balloon for each year or month you’ve been together, and attach a note (or photo!) to each one containing a memory you’ve shared or a place you’ve visited as a couple. The colors of the balloons floating above you will create a unique, romantic ambience.

Candy Dots Valentine

Making a homemade card is always a simple and appreciated Valentine’s gift. Add something a little fun by buying a sheet of candy dots beforehand. Then, you can cut them up just like construction paper and paste them on to your now-edible valentine.

Steal a Love Poem

If you don’t really have a way with words, let the pros help you out! At Poets.org, you’ll find tons of classic and contemporary love poems that you can copy into a card, read aloud, or print out and leave...

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How to Insure Jewelry and Expensive Valentine's Day Gifts

Whether you’re giving your sweetheart a gorgeous diamond ring for Valentine’s Day or you’re the one who gets to wear the bling, don’t forget about protecting it with insurance. I know looping in your insurance agent may not seem romantic, but it can prevent a lot of heartaches if that expensive piece of jewelry gets damaged, lost, or stolen.

How to insure your valuables

Today, you’ll learn how to keep your Valentine’s Day gift or any valuables safe.

1. Get insured before you buy it

Anytime you’re thinking about making a big purchase, such as expensive jewelry, watches, or electronics, make sure you have a plan to insure it. Think about how devastated you’d be if you bought diamond earrings for your sweetie, and they got stolen or lost. I’m sweating just thinking about it!

Anytime you’re thinking about making a big purchase, make sure you have a plan to insure it.

Before you buy something valuable, communicate with your existing home or renters insurance representative or company. Find out if you need additional coverage—it’s likely that you do! In just a moment, I’ll give you some recommendations if you don’t already have a home or renters policy.

Let your insurer know what you’re planning to buy and how much it costs. If you’re still negotiating on price or you’re buying a second-hand item with an unknown value, start with your best estimate.

2. Get a certified appraisal

If the value of your Valentine’s Day jewelry is over a certain amount, your insurer will ask you to submit an appraisal. It must come from a gemologist who uses a variety of tools and their expertise to identify and value gems. It includes photos of your item and an estimated value.

Your insurer needs an appraisal to know precisely what they’re insuring. The document also protects you in case you need to make a claim.

The retailer who sells you a new piece of jewelry should provide you with an appraisal. However, an insurer may want an independent appraisal to verify the value. If you purchase heirloom or estate jewelry, it may not come with an appraisal.  

You can find an appraiser by getting recommendations or doing some research online. The cost varies depending on how intricate the item is and how long the work may take.

For instance, an antique ring with many stones and old-fashioned gem cuts will take longer to analyze than a brand-new diamond solitaire. For a relatively simple piece, the appraisal may cost in the range of $150 to $250. But I’ve...

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Fiber 2.0—Fiber's New Science of Health-Boosting Benefits

Fiber may seem like a somewhat frumpy nutrient, but it is actually one of the hottest nutrition topics right now. That’s partly because fiber plays such a big role in the health and function of the gut microbiota. And anything to do with the microbiome is trending—for good reason!

The way we define and categorize fiber has also gotten a complete overhaul in recent years. We used to think of fiber simply as “roughage;” the parts of plants that our digestive system could not break down and convert into energy.

The list of benefits attributed to fiber now include reduced inflammation, enhanced immune function, appetite and weight control, enhanced nutrient absorption, better blood sugar control, and Type 2 diabetes prevention.

Dietary fiber was further broken down into soluble and insoluble fiber. Soluble fiber, like that in oat bran, was thought to act like a sponge, soaking up cholesterol and keeping it out of your bloodstream. Insoluble fiber, like that in wheat bran, was thought to work more like a broom, helping to move waste through the system.

We now recognize that fiber does a lot more than soak stuff up and move stuff out. And the list of benefits attributed to fiber has been expanded to include reduced inflammation, enhanced immune function, appetite and weight control, enhanced nutrient absorption, better blood sugar control, and Type 2 diabetes prevention.  A lot of this happens via the microbiome: the fiber in our diet affects the number and variety of beneficial bacteria in our gut.

RELATED: What are Prebiotics?

The fiber story is far more complex (and interesting!) than we ever imagined. Instead of just recommending you add more fiber to your diet in general, we now know that specific types of fiber have different effects. If you’re looking for a particular benefit, you’d want to match your choices to your concern. (And at the end of this article, you’ll find an infographic to help you do just that.)

But first, let’s just get our terminology straight.

Types of fiber

You'll still see fiber broken down into soluble and insoluble on Nutrition Facts labels. But this is not the only—or even the most meaningful—way to sort or categorize fiber. We now define fiber not just by its solubility but also its viscosity, fermentability, tolerability, and prebiotic activity.

Soluble and insoluble

Soluble fibers dissolve in water. Insoluble fibers do not; stir them into water and they’ll eventually settle to the bottom of the glass.

Viscous and non-viscous

Viscous fibers are soluble fibers that don’t just dissolve in...

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5 Fun and Functional Squat Variations

You likely heard me (or people like me) toss around the term "functional movement." In a nutshell, functional movements are exercises that relate to movements we do in our daily lives. Walking, lifting, bending down to pick things up, carrying objects, stuff like that. Unless you're training for something with a particular variety of movements (dance, rock climbing, hockey, swimming) functional movement exercises are the most beneficial ones you can train because they're immediately applicable to your everyday life. 

Performing squats—or simply squatting—is one of the most important functional movements you can do. Movements such as walking, going up and down the stairs, sitting down and standing up, picking things up off the floor are aided by an increased ability to squat. And, of course, in return, those movements help to increase our squatting ability. 

Performing squats—or simply squatting—is one of the most important functional movements you can do.

Practicing the squatting movement both strengthens the muscles in the lower limbs and improves your mobility in the knee, hip and pelvic floor. But, as I wrote in 5+ Benefits of Squatting and How to Prepare, if you've been wearing shoes with any type of heel and spending much of your day sitting in a chair, it's entirely likely that you're not currently capable of performing the squatting motion in a way that doesn't create pressure in certain joints or cause pain. So, I encourage you to go back to that article and prepare yourself before you read any further.

For those of you who are ready to continue, let's talk about how not all squats are created equal. 

How to vary the squat

The most common ways we vary the squat exercise is by making changes to the width of our stance, our foot placement angle, hip depth, and by adding extra load (weights). These alterations create different techniques that lead to different loading conditions and different movements. These variations create many different and fun ways to perform the mighty squat!

But all these different movements also create many different opinions among therapists, coaches, and squatting experts about which squat exercise you should be doing. In my opinion, that question is flawed. Like I always say—the more the merrier. Just not too many, too soon. 

A word of advice for novice squatters

A 2018 study—creatively named How to squat? Effects of various stance widths, foot placement angles and level of experience on knee, hip and...

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Leadership is Everyone—Jocko Willink on Owning Your Success

Today’s episode is an interview with Jocko Willink, a retired U.S. Navy SEAL officer and New York Times #1 bestselling author of several books including his latest, Leadership Strategy and Tactics. Jocko hosts the popular podcast Leadership and Discipline, as well as a podcast for young leaders-in-training called Warrior Kid. Upon retiring from the Navy in 2010, Jocko founded leadership consulting firm Echelon Front. There, he teaches combat leadership principles to help others build their own high-performance winning teams.

In the interview, we explored how applying leadership lessons from the battlefield can bring us extraordinary success in the workplace. I'll call out some highlights here, but I encourage you to click the audio player above or listen on your favorite podcast platform. You'll be motivated by Jocko's endless energy and enthusiasm as you listen to my chat with a leadership legend.

“Leadership, is everyone,” Jocko says. It’s not about your title. So, if you’re not in a formal leadership role, know that this conversation is still very much for you.

The Four Laws of Combat inspire leadership

Many of Jocko’s ideas originate from the Four Laws of Combat he developed in the Navy and passed on to other SEALs. These are:

1. Cover and move. Embrace the power of teamwork and know the importance of showing care to everyone on the mission.
2. Keep things simple. Remove complexity wherever possible to ensure everyone fully understands the mission and the shared direction.
3. Prioritize and execute. Remain a step or two ahead of problems to avoid failure. Thoughtful planning allows us to move resources wherever they're needed.
4. Decentralize command. When our team members understand what they're doing and why, they become empowered to make smart decisions on their own.

Jocko shared some sage advice around detaching from our egos to make better decisions, taking extreme ownership for the outcomes we desire, and leaning into observation and humility to reveal the best version of ourselves.

Detaching from ego and emotion—easier said than done

As we’re in the thick of work, we have to make decisions, have conversations, and give or receive feedback. Jocko is a big believer in the importance of detachment—separating the emotional from the rational. But boy, is that easier said than done!

So, how can we make that happen? Jocko says that people do get "wrapped...

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The Science of Soulmates

As Valentine’s Day approaches, couples are snuggling up and making plans for romantic gestures. That may leave those still seeking a partner wondering when they’ll meet that special someone. But how many someones are there for each of us? Do we each have just one true soulmate, that person who is the ideal fit for all of our interests, values, and personality quirks? And if you’re with someone whom you consider special, how do you know you’ve really found The One? 

The likelihood of finding your soulmate 

While it may be impossible to define a soulmate in testable, scientific terms, we can take a look at some cold, hard math to determine how likely we are to meet one particular destined-to-by-mine person on this planet full of people. In fact, Randall Munroe, former NASA engineer and author of the popular web comic xkcd, has done this for us.

First off, out of the hundred billion or so people that have walked this earth, less than 10 percent are still alive today. If we assume our soulmate could have lived during any time period, then for more than 90 percent of us, our soulmates are already dead. Bummer. And this gets worse, as you can imagine, if we have to factor in future, as-of-yet nonexistent people as potential soulmates.

If we assume our soulmate could have lived during any time period, then for more than 90 percent of us, our soulmates are already dead. Bummer.

So, Munroe instead assumes that your soulmate has to not only be alive but is likely in the same age range as you. (Big assumption; I know). This narrows the candidate list from the Earth’s population of 7.5 billion seekers-of-true-love to a mere 500 million people. 

How many strangers do you notice daily? Let’s generously suggest that this could be something like 15 people every single day. If 10 percent of those people are close enough to your age to be considered soulmate material, then in a lifetime of 80 years you might encounter and lock eyes with 50,000 soulmate candidates. That sounds like a lot! But recall that there are about 500 million people on this Earth that are in the right age range to be your soulmate. If you encounter just 50,000 of them, you've only caught the eye of 0.01 percent. As Munroe explains, that means if you lived 10,000 lifetimes, you would only find your one true soulmate once. 

So should we be looking for our soulmate?

Studies suggest that it can actually ...

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