Why 'Dumbing Down' Your Language Isn't Always Dumb

Sometimes listeners tell me that when they talk to other people and use standard English grammar, they’re perceived as stuck up or pretentious. But if they know the difference between “who” and “whom,” for example, why should we pretend not to know? Why should we have to, as one listener put it, “dumb things down for people we’re speaking to”? Today, I’ll tell you why adjusting your speech for different audiences can be smart, not dumb.

Figure Out What’s Appropriate

We do a lot of things in different ways depending on whom we’re with. For example, you probably wouldn’t wear a tuxedo to a job interview. If you go to a job interview dressed in a business suit instead of a tuxedo, that doesn’t mean you’re dumbing down the way you dress. It means you know what kind of attire is appropriate for the situation. You also probably wouldn’t wear pajamas to a family Thanksgiving dinner. If you change out of those pajamas and put on some of your nicer clothes, that doesn’t mean you’re being sneaky and hiding the way you really dress. It means you know that pajamas are appropriate in some situations, while other clothes are appropriate when you’re visiting relatives you don’t see very often.

As for language, you can’t assume that standard English with schoolbook grammar is the only right way to speak for any occasion. If you always used “whom” when the rules you’ve learned call for it, it would be like wearing a tuxedo all the time, at weddings and ballroom-dance competitions, at job interviews and Thanksgiving dinners, at the pool, and in bed. It wouldn’t be a sign of education and high standards; it would probably seem a little weird.

Most People Use Different Registers in Different Situations

The varieties of language you use in different areas of your life are known as speaking or writing styles. Some particularly specialized styles, such as those used in the courtroom, or poetry, or the operating room, are known as registers. Being able to switch smoothly and appropriately between different styles or registers is a skill; it’s not always easy to do.

For example, earlier I had to decide whether to say “depending on who you’re with” or “depending on whom you’re with.” I definitely wasn’t going to use “depending on with whom you are,” because that’s horribly awkward and there’s no need to avoid ending the sentence with a preposition—that’s a thoroughly discredited “rule”—but I still had to make a judgment call about which wording would work better in an informal podcast about grammar.

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