Struggling to Make Good Decisions? It's Time to Trust Yourself

How can you learn to trust yourself and your ability to make the “right” decision?

Recently, I found myself stuck at Home Depot. Like in a surrealist movie, I was unable to leave because I was in the paint aisle staring at a wall of sample colors, unable to decide between falcon gray and flannel gray.

Is falcon grey too dark? But flannel seems a little too warm. How will it look under the lighting we have? What if one of these will bring down my house’s resale value? Should we even have bought a house in this uncertain economy? Have I made the biggest mistake of my life? Falcon or flannel?

Choosing paint colors may seem like a silly thing to fret over—and it is! But indecision and doubt can follow like shadows in more significant parts of life, too. Maybe instead of being torn between two shades of gray paint, you're torn between staying at your current job or switching to a different career. Or perhaps you feel unsure about your relationship, but you can’t tell whether it’s a phase to be worked through or you should call it quits. Maybe you and your partner have each gotten coveted job offers in different cities. Who should make the sacrifice? Or should you try long-distance dating? Or break up?

It's not always easy to make decisions

In uncertain times, it’s hard to trust yourself and be decisive. This doubt feeds anxiety that feeds more doubt. To make matters worse, second-guessing tends to result in worse decisions. Sometimes—even after making long pros-and-cons lists, consulting your trusted friends, and resorting to throwing a dart with a blindfold on—you just can’t seem to get to that magical, cathartic confidence that you’re making the right choice.  

Doubt feeds anxiety that feeds more doubt. To make matters worse, second-guessing tends to result in worse decisions.

 

Four steps to making decisions

Let’s take a step back from the nitty-gritty of the decision itself and look at your overall psychological and philosophical approach. In other words, forget for a moment whether falcon gray or flannel gray is the warmer shade. Let’s see what you can do to boost your decision-making confidence overall.

1. Accept that sometimes you'll make mistakes, and this is not...

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