Are Politics Ruining Your Relationship?

No one ever actually intends to fall in love with someone whose politics they hate. But throughout history, there have always been people from opposite political sides who can’t resist the urge to pair up. 

Romeo and Juliet first fall in love, then discover that their relationship is impossible because their families are sworn enemies.

Today it's the same thing. You meet someone wonderful, and everything seems perfect. Then one day you sit down together to watch TV, and you discover that one of you watches FOX News and the other MSNBC.

It’s Romeo and Juliet all over again. You’re sleeping with the enemy.

Hundreds of years ago, in Romeo and Juliet’s time, your biggest problem was dealing with physical threats from outside the relationship—like making sure your spouse didn’t get killed by members of your extended family. These days, the problem is more psychological. Your political viewpoint just feels like a part of who you are. For most of us, it’s not something we’re interested in changing, even for someone we love.

How to Survive as a Mixed Political Couple

We humans have come a long way from when we used to bop our enemies over the head with clubs. Thankfully, in the 21st Century, we now mostly fight our political battles via electronic media—with tweets, memes, and angry posts.

It’s kind of like drone warfare. You’re not actually there when the bombs land. Except, of course, if you happen to share a bedroom with somebody from the other side. In which case all the insults and name-calling can start to feel kind of personal.

It’s no secret that Americans today have drifted far apart from each other on a large number of issues—from gun control, to abortion, to how we feel about the current occupant of the White House. 

So what do you do, when the person you love is someone whose politics you just can’t stand? How do you ever have a civil conversation?

I Love You, But I Hate Your Politics

That’s what psychologist Dr Jeanne Safer, a lifelong liberal Democrat, had to figure out when she realized the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with was in fact a conservative Republican. Not just any conservative Republican, but someone who would go on to become Senior Editor of National Review, a leading conservative magazine.

Safer and her husband have now been married 39 years, and are still on opposite sides of the political fence. In her new book, I Love You, But I Hate Your Politics, she says she’s actually found it to be an enriching experience. And that her husband feels the same way.

So what’s their secret?  How have these two unlikely partners managed to share a bed together for 39...

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