5 Ways to Excel at Parenting When You’re Discouraged

Parenting when everything is going right with the world can leave you feeling unstoppable. Don't you just love those moments in time when your child is thriving at school and sports, on top of homework, putting away his clean laundry, funding his own weekend fun by working a great part-time job, and maintaining solid friendships? He even manages to tell you he loves you—just because! Sure, those are the things parenting dreams are made of. But there are also plenty of times when life comes at you hard—your kid is flunking two classes, breaks a leg during practice, couldn't care less about homework (or any kind of work), and has punks for friends. Not to mention, you have your own struggles—a difficult boss, a furnace on the fritz, bills to pay, and can’t remember the last time you did anything for yourself.

But when life knocks us down, we still have kids to care for. The show must go on! Here are five ways you can bring your A game to parenting even when you feel the most discouraged.

#1 - Don’t Compare Yourself to Others

One of my tendencies when I’m struggling with any difficult situation in my life is to immediately look around at my friends, co-workers, family members and, yes, even social media platforms (hello, Facebook!) and compare my own messy life with how everyone else seems to be doing.

Here's one example that always comes to mind. Three of my children were diagnosed with significant speech and developmental delays when they were around 2-3 years old. After weeks of intense testing and evaluations, we had to come to grips with this very unsettling news and gear up for a few years of very involved therapy interventions to help get them back on track.

Before I was emotionally ready myself to dive in and learn all that I needed to both advocate for and support my young kids, I ventured into the very murky waters of comparison. I began noticing the behaviors and language habits of nearly every child we encountered, even strangers in the grocery store. At the time, I couldn’t help myself because I was desperately looking for patterns my speech delayed kids had in common with their normally developing peers.

In Psychology Today’s article, 3 Reasons to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others, Dr. Deborah Carr discusses the allure of comparison. It's basically a means to find out how we, ourselves, are doing. “While comparisons can be informative," she said, "they’re almost always discouraging, because someone...

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